Chapter Nine

The house was eerily quiet. Jarek set his keys on the counter. The stove looked like nothing happened. In fact, the kitchen was spotless. There was a note next to the oven.

Sorry.

His phone and credit card waited next to the one-word letter. Jarek knew without searching, Luca was gone. Still, he walked through the house. Hope was dumb like that. The entire place was clean. Their bed was made. It looked devoid of life. It wasn't until Jarek reached the bathroom that a terrible feeling set in. All Luca's bath toys and his bottle of bubble bath were in the trash can. He hadn't taken them with him. Jarek checked the dresser. The fluffy animal pjs Jarek had bought for him were still in the drawer, but the rest of his clothes were gone. He headed for the room he had designated to be Luca's playroom. All his toys were there. Something felt wrong in a way he couldn't describe.

Jarek grabbed his keys and headed back out again. He made a quick stop and bought Luca a new teddy bear before going to his apartment. A silent prayer chanted through his mind as the slow elevator carried him to Luca's floor. If Luca wasn't here, then Jarek didn't know how to find him. If he had kept the phone, Jarek could track him, but he hadn't. Now he was at a loss.

As soon as he stepped off the elevator, he noticed Luca's door stood open. Huge black trash bags sat outside the door, piling up in the hallway. Jarek slowed and eyed them as he passed. They were full of toys and Lego sets. Luca was throwing everything away. He knocked on the open door.

Luca stepped from the bathroom with a half-filled garbage bag in his hand. He was dressed in a way Jarek had never seen before—almost perfectly pressed. His hair was combed. The curls had been tamed. He looked like a random office worker. His eyes looked dead.

"Oh. Hey."

Jarek blinked at how empty Luca sounded. "Hey. Why are you throwing your toys away?"

Luca went back to tossing everything into bags. He shrugged as he carelessly tossed an assembled, expensive-looking Lego set into the bag. He heard it bust apart into pieces. "You were right this morning. It's time for me to act like the adult I am. All this shit can go to the dumpster, and I'll have a lighter load for the long trip. It's the sensible thing to do."

It was so much worse than Jarek expected. Still, he tried not to panic. "Does that mean you don't want the gift I brought you?" He held up the extra fluffy bear.

Cold eyes swung the bear's way. Luca didn't react. He simply went back to destroying years of block-building.

Jarek clutched the bear against his chest and sat on the bed. He didn't know how to fix this, and he knew beyond a doubt it was his fault. "Will you at least sit down and let me talk to you about this morning?"

"What is there to say? I already said you were right. I'm way too old to be stupid and irresponsible. It's time for me to take that casino job and grow the fuck up. I have no excuse for being who I've been these past few years."

His eyes fell closed. Luca sounded so much like a completely different person. He hated it. More than that, Jarek hated himself. "I shouldn't have said that. I definitely didn't mean it. Everything just sort of fell apart and boiled over at the same time and you were the easy target. I guess that's what I get for not telling you I love you. You only ever got the worst of me."

Luca froze. His gaze landed on Jarek and didn't move.

Jarek decided to keep going. "That was my brother's lawyer that called this morning. Axton has been in prison for the past ten years. He was supposed to—finally—be released next week. Apparently, he got into a fight. They plan to tack some time onto his sentence now." A lump rose in Jarek's throat. He sniffed. Jarek hated getting emotional. He cleared his throat. "I haven't set eyes on my baby brother in years. He told me to get the fuck out of his life when I lost his court case. It's funny. I can keep someone like Boone out of prison, but I couldn't help my brother." A humorless laugh burst from Jarek. "I don't know why I'm going on about this. I'm supposed to be apologizing to you. Instead, I'm making things worse."

"You're not."

A sad smile pulled at Jarek's lips. He cast a look around the destroyed apartment. "Yeah. I guess I can't really make things worse at this point. It looks like I've already destroyed the best thing in my life." He met Luca's stare. "The best person I know." Jarek set the bear on the bed. "I guess you can throw this away too. For what it's worth, I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." He met Luca's stare again. "I honestly fell in love with everything about you. Being your daddy, even for only the short time you gave me, was the best part of my entire life. I'm sorry I wrecked yours. It seems letting down the people I love is my thing. I hope you find someone better in Nevada. You deserve the best of everything." Jarek stood and headed for the door. He needed a strong drink. Jarek couldn't stay and watch Luca transform into someone else, all because Jarek was a piece of shit. Maybe if he went away, then Luca could find himself again. Maybe Luca would realize Jarek was the problem. Not him.

"Do you really love me?"

The softly spoken question stopped him in his tracks. Jarek turned. He wanted Luca to see the truth in his eyes, especially if he never got to say the words again. "Yes, I love you more than anything. I'm sorry I—" Jarek took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

Luca swallowed. He suddenly looked more like Jarek's boy. "I love you too and I didn't say it either."

Jarek didn't know how to respond. It hurt like hell, though. Luca said he loved Jarek while he packed to leave him.

Luca set the trash bag aside. "Do you feel like, because of how I am, that you couldn't talk to me about your brother? I mean, if I was better—more adult-like—would you have trusted me enough to confide in me?"

That hurt his chest. "Baby, there's no one better. I didn't talk to you about Axton because I never know what to say when it comes to him. That's not your fault. It's just." Jarek made a helpless gesture. "People don't get ten years in prison for nothing. But he's my baby brother, you know? The topic of him makes me sad and angry and then sad again. We're so different. It's like we came from different families, but I wanted better for him. When I got that call this morning, something inside me just took this ugly turn. I didn't mean for you to get caught in the crossfire. You're the only good thing in my life. I just wasn't… I'm not." His shoulders fell. He didn't know what to say to fix things. "You never agreed to stay." Damn. He hadn't meant to say that. It was like his heart needed to speak its piece too.

Luca moved to the bed and sat, as if his knees no longer wanted to hold him. He looked defeated. "You're right. I never said I'd stay, and I never said I love you. You deserved better from me. I was scared."

At Luca's admission, Jarek moved to sit on the bed with Luca.

Luca turned sideways and took Jarek's hand. "I hate knowing you were suffering in silence because I was a coward. The idea of giving up everything for someone so much better than me has been worrying me sick. You can have anyone. I have literally nothing to offer you. There's no reason for you to want this. But I absolutely do love you and there was no way I would've left. I'd already told Melissa I wouldn't be coming to live with her. Of course, I guess I should call her back. Otherwise, I'll be homeless soon."

That hit hard. Jarek winced. "So you really are leaving me." It wasn't a question. Luca had already stated as much.

Luca licked his lips. He stroked Jarek's hand. "Maybe, if you don't want me to go, then—if it's okay—maybe I could stay. With you," Luca clarified, as if he worried Jarek wouldn't understand.

Hope built in Jarek's chest. "I would very much like for you to stay with me."

A sweet and hopeful-looking smile stretched Luca's lips. "Okay."

Jarek smiled. Relief poured through him. He had honestly thought they were over. Jarek couldn't believe Luca intended to give him another chance. He needed to jump on it before Luca got away again. "Okay." He looked around. "Well, we have a lot of work ahead of us, putting all these sets back together. I hope you kept the instructions."

Luca chewed his bottom lip and eyed the room. "I'm not sure."

"We'll figure it out." He focused on Luca. Jarek couldn't take it. He untucked Luca's shirt and ruffled his hair. "What have you done to yourself?"

An adorable chuckle escaped Luca. "It's my big boy look—like playing dress up."

God, Jarek loved him. He was so unique and refreshing. So unlike everyone Jarek knew. "I love you so much."

Luca blushed. His ears turned red. "I love you too."

"We should go home."

Luca's expression immediately turned worried. "What about my things? I've been putting off packing and now there's hardly any time left. In a few days, they'll set my stuff on the curb and probably charge me a ton of money for doing so."

Jarek made a calming gesture. "I'll take care of everything." He pulled his phone from his pocket and searched for moving companies. Within fifteen minutes, he had someone on their way to box up Luca's things and move them to their place. He had this. It was his job to handle everything. That was what being Luca's daddy was all about, caring for his baby. Jarek was determined to spend the rest of his life doing just that. He wouldn't fail again.

Luca worried about Jarek more than he let on. That stuff about his brother bothered him. It was obvious Jarek carried things silently and alone. Luca didn't want that. He wanted to be Jarek's life partner, helping him through every tough situation. Jarek had seemingly moved on from the conversation as if it never happened. He piled bubbles on top of Luca's head and chuckled. Luca let him have his fun. He enjoyed the way it felt, sitting between Jarek's thighs in a hot bath with his back resting against Jarek's chest. Still, Luca couldn't stay completely silent.

"Will you tell me about your brother?"

Jarek kissed his neck. "Some time."

Luca would have to accept that. "Will you tell me why your job makes you grumpy?"

"Because it steals my time," Jarek said, nibbling his neck. "I want to spend it all with you."

He could help with that. "Maybe I can come to work with you a couple of times a week. I could draw you pictures and build us a fort." Luca's voice turned sultry without thinking. "I could hide under your desk and keep you distracted."

Jarek's hand slid up the inside of Luca's thigh. Luca's legs automatically widened. Jarek cupped Luca's balls before toying with his asshole. "That sounds amazing, but I don't want you being bored all day."

Luca squirmed. "I'm never bored with you." His voice sounded breathy. It was out of his control.

Jarek shifted, bringing Luca with him. Luca found himself braced against the edge of the tub and staring at the floor. His eyes slipped closed as Jarek really got into fingering him. Luca's cock begged to be touched. Jarek's fingers disappeared and reappeared after a moment. Cold mixed with hot, pressing inside him. "This is a bead that bursts inside you and transforms into lube. There's no way I can do this without forcing some water inside you, but it'll be fun to watch it run from your hole afterward, along with my cum."

Damn. He was just living temptation. Jarek got him hot so fast all the time. He would agree to anything. Jarek hit the button to start the jacuzzi jets. Luca gasped as a strong stream of water hit his erection, massaging it. An evil-sounding chuckle rumbled behind him. Jarek turned the jets up to their highest setting, making Luca pant. He hadn't known water could make him feel good.

"You like that, huh? Good. You can fuck that while I fuck you." Jarek impaled him.

Luca white-knuckled the edge of the tub and moaned. He felt so full while the rapidly moving water made him feel almost like he got his dick sucked. "It feels good."

Jarek rocked inside him. "You really do. Fuck. You're always so tight on my dick. I think about being inside this ass more than is probably sane. You just get me so goddamn horny."

Luca wouldn't make it. There were too many competing sensations meshing with Jarek's dirty talk. In barely three thrusts, Luca cried out. His dick jerked and spat.

"Oh, God, Luca. That's it. Come for me. Damn, your body milks me. Fuck. It feels so good."

Luca barely heard a word. Everything took on a muffled haze while he breathed through the powerful orgasm. He didn't feel better for long. Jarek's cock still pounded at the perfect angle. The water still rapidly beat at his cock, massaging swiftly from every direction. He never went soft. A second orgasm built. It felt almost frustrating because Luca was certain he couldn't come twice in a row. He knew Jarek would blow any second and Luca would get left hanging with this phantom second orgasm.

Jarek made sounds that messed with his head. The water teased him. Jarek slammed inside him repeatedly, making Luca see stars. The second orgasm got closer. Luca focused his entire being on it. His hips moved, openly fucking water. He had no shame. It felt too good. Luca knew he would never get inside the tub again and not use the jets like his own fuck toy. He wondered what it would feel like blowing up his asshole. Shit. Could he find a position that would hit him from the front and the back? Oh, fuck. Would Jarek let him stick his dick inside his ass sometime so Luca would know how it felt? He was so close. He was so horny. Luca wanted to do the dirtiest nastiest of things. He wanted to try all the toys and positions. Right now, though, he wanted to fuck a bathtub, and he had zero shame. The more the pressure grew, the faster he humped the water. Jarek's moans turned desperate. His thrusts got harder, wearing out Luca's hole. Luca's body tensed. Jarek made a sound like a dying man. Luca cried out as a second orgasm hit. This one was more powerful than the first. Luca whined and whimpered as he humped with every wave and drop of cum.

A loud shout sounded behind him. Jarek's fingers dug hard enough into Luca's skin to leave bruises as he jammed his cock inside, taking his pleasure. He bit Luca's shoulder, turning almost savage as he filled Luca's ass with cum. Luca didn't mind. They were forever. He kind of liked it when the fluids squirted from his asshole. Jarek always looked proud. It made Luca squirm.

Jarek's touch gentled. His bite turned to kisses. Luca panted while Jarek savored the dying wisps of his orgasm. With his forehead pressed against the edge of the bathtub, Luca lost himself in the feel of Jarek's fat cock filling him, stretching him. They were perfect together. Explosive. Beautiful. Now that he knew exactly what Jarek needed from him, Luca intended to build a perfect life for them. It wouldn't take Jarek long to see he had chosen the right man. Luca would love him forever.

"I love you," Jarek whispered against his ear, as if reading Luca's thoughts.

"I love you too." He had never meant anything more. They would have an amazing life. Luca wouldn't let things be any other way.