Chapter Eight
Basically, since their first weekend together, Luca had spent every night at Jarek's place. Since Jarek asked him to move in, Luca hadn't even questioned where he would sleep. Unfortunately, Luca was four days from moving. His last day at work had come and gone, and Luca still hadn't found the courage to say he planned to stay. Luca really had to get his shit together. He was no more packed and ready than he had been the day Jarek asked him to live with him. His hesitation was more about laziness than anything. Luca dreaded moving his entire life. While he hadn't thought he owned much, he had lived in his apartment since right after he turned eighteen. He had accumulated a lot of crap that needed to be tossed. That was a lot of trips to the dumpster. All of it was time away from Jarek.
A happy sigh poured through Luca's mind. Jarek. He was amazing. Jarek had already given him a credit card. It had his name on it and everything. Luca adored being at home, cleaning, cooking, playing games, and taking care of Jarek. Jarek kept fussing about him doing anything but enjoying himself. But what Luca enjoyed was making Jarek happy by making his life easier.
While Jarek dressed for work, Luca made bacon. He hated the way it popped and burned his skin. It was Jarek's favorite, so Luca suffered. Jarek passed through the kitchen, gathering his things. He stopped to steal a quick kiss, but he still looked grumpy. Unfortunately, Luca had learned that was one not so great aspect of Jarek. His job made him angry. Every day, he left looking like a man headed to a battle he didn't want to fight. When he got home, he was back to being his sweet daddy. Nothing was completely perfect in life. If cranky mornings were the worst of Jarek, Luca had no complaints.
Jarek's phone rang as he stuffed files into his briefcase. He checked the face of the device and released a tired-sounding sigh before answering. "Chamberlain." Jarek's spine immediately stiffened. "You have to be fucking kidding me. This was settled." He moved to the living room. The anger in his voice scared Luca a little. Still, his feet moved, carrying him closer to hear better. He worried about Jarek. It couldn't be good to be this angry and under this much stress all the time. He hovered just out of sight, listening to Jarek curse and rant. His voice got louder with each word. Luca leaned closer, trying to understand what made Jarek so angry. A loud, blaring alarm had him jumping out of his skin.
Luca spun. Flames rose from and around the frying pan. A shriek burst from Luca. He panicked, dancing in place while he tried to decide what to do.
Jarek appeared from nowhere. He snatched the pan from the eye and tossed it into the sink before turning off the stove. The flames almost immediately died. Heavy smoke filled the kitchen. While Jarek ran water over the pan, his shoulders heaved. Luca felt sick. He swore anger rolled from Jarek in waves.
Luca shifted from foot to foot. His anxiety shot through the roof. Between the alarm, the fire, and Jarek's anger, he was on the edge of tears. His heart raced. He couldn't believe he had done something so dumb by getting distracted. "Jarek, I—"
Jarek turned the water off with so much force, Luca jumped again, and his apology died on his tongue. He didn't look Luca's way as he snatched his briefcase from the kitchen table. "I'll get something to eat on the way. Maybe you can act like the adult you are for one goddamn day and not burn down the house while I'm gone."
Luca blinked. His chest heaved as a stuttered breath escaped him. Jarek left, slamming the door behind him. It was the first time Jarek went to work without kissing him. Luca's gaze slid toward the mess he had made.
"I'm sorry." The whisper left his lips, even though there was no one there to hear. Tears silently slipped down his cheeks. His chest hurt. Jarek had done so much for him, and Luca had repaid him by almost burning down his house. He was so stupid. Jarek deserved someone smarter and better than him. Luca was just a childish idiot. He was a fool for thinking—for a moment—this life could be his. It was obvious Jarek was finally sick of his immaturity. Luca had known it was only a matter of time. Still, it hurt more than he expected. He wasn't sure he would survive.
Boone wanted to say he didn't know why he spent all his time at The PlayPen. He knew. Boone had been born into one of the biggest crime families known to law enforcement. There were bigger ones that were so huge, no one saw them by greasing the best of palms. Unfortunately, Boone was all over their radar. His home was uncomfortable. He felt watched all hours of the day. At least here, Boone saw the eyes upon him. He didn't wonder who inspected his every move. Boone could stare back. Plus, there was an innocence here he had never been given the privilege to enjoy. Everyone he knew was bad. That wasn't true here.
He lit his second laced cigarette of the day. The smoke alone was enough to get a normal person high for days. Boone barely noticed anymore. That was why he mixed the drugs with alcohol and some orange pill he found in his stash. He couldn't even remember what it was now. It didn't matter as long as it made him numb.
He watched three boys build a racetrack. The three always played together. He supposed he knew their names, but he couldn't think clearly. Another whiskey appeared at his elbow. He never had to ask. His glass emptied and refilled. That was how it worked. The blond of the group looked up and their gazes met. Jupiter. The name hit him. It was his eyes. They were an unearthly blue. He wondered if that was why he had been given the name. Jupiter didn't look away the way most everyone else did when confronted with his stare. Besides Jarek's boy, Jupiter was the only boy there who didn't seem to fear him. That probably wasn't a good thing. The courage held his interest a little more than it should. Jupiter had no idea how much danger he was in.
Movement on his right caught his attention. Boone turned his head. He spotted Luca heading his way. Boone straightened in his seat. Not only was Luca alone, but it was also beyond obvious he had been crying. Fury rose in Boone's chest. He had known Jarek was too cold to be a good daddy. At least Boone knew that about himself. Self-awareness was key in any lifestyle arrangement. Jarek should have done the same internal searching Boone had done, before damaging an innocent.
He snuffed out his cigarette and opened his arms. Luca didn't hesitate. He climbed into Boone's embrace and cried. Boone truly hated that he would have to kill someone today.
Jarek was at rock bottom. His mood was as black as it could get. Luca was days away from his big move, and he still hadn't agreed to stay. His job was trying to drive him into an early grave. Every time he turned around, there was some new bullshit drowning him. He had yelled at Luca. Jarek laid his head down on his desk and tried to draw a breath. A weight sat on his chest that choked the life from him. He didn't know if he could survive the pain. Why wouldn't Luca just say he would stay? Jarek didn't know where he was going wrong. At least, he'd had hope before today. Today, he had more than proven Luca shouldn't bother with him. He was such an ass.
A thousand times he had picked up the phone and thought to call. He didn't know what to say. Apologizing didn't feel like enough. Luca hadn't deserved his anger, especially since he had been trying to do something nice for Jarek. Seeing that fire had just scared Jarek. He hated the thought of Luca getting hurt, all because he felt like he needed to cook a food that he was too afraid to cook just to make Jarek happy. Jarek was already happy. Luca didn't have to try. Jarek could order food, hire a cook, and he already had someone who cleaned his house three times a week. He didn't understand Luca's need to do everything. Luca could have been seriously hurt. That still enraged him when he thought about it. But Luca hadn't deserved the way Jarek screamed at him. He fucking hated that he had left without kissing him goodbye. Jarek was mentally exhausted. He just wanted to go home and be with his man.
His office door opened, and Boone strolled in like he owned the place, as always. He might as well, since he was Jarek's biggest client. Jarek made more money from Boone over the years than he cared to admit. That didn't make Jarek happy to see him. He didn't want to see anyone but Luca today.
"I've already spoken with the FBI. They shouldn't still be bothering you." Even to Jarek's ears, he sounded tired.
Boone sat and silently stared at Jarek.
Jarek leaned back in his chair. "What? Today isn't really a good day for me to play guessing games."
Another minute passed in silence before Boone responded. "I'm just trying to decide what the fuck is wrong with you."
Jarek shook his head. Then something horrifying happened. His mouth opened, and he spilled his guts like he hadn't in years. He didn't know if it was because he had nowhere else to turn or if it was because he knew Boone couldn't judge. No matter the reasons, he just purged his every dark thought.
"Hmmm. Let's see. I have a job I fucking hate. In fact, I hate basically everything except Luca, and he's set to move to Nevada in four days despite me practically begging him to stay. My younger brother was set to be released from prison next week for a crime I couldn't keep him from going down for. But now, after some dumbass fight this morning, he's getting more time tacked onto his sentence. Of course, this happened just as my stove literally caught fire, so I ended up screaming at Luca. Likely, he's doubly determined to leave me now. It's been about the worst day I've had in years. So is there something you'd like to pile on, because why the fuck not at this point?"
A deep line appeared between Boone's eyebrows. "What do you mean Luca is moving?"
Jarek made a helpless gesture. "His lease is up, and his rent has doubled, or some shit like that. He can't afford to stay. His cousin in Nevada offered him a room and a job. I asked him to stay and let me take care of him instead. He said he'd think about it, but that was over a month ago and he still hasn't said yes. It's literally days until he's set to leave and he's just acting like nothing is happening. Like he's not about to fucking break me," Jarek added under his breath.
"But Luca hasn't said anything to me about leaving."
Jarek's eyebrows rose. "It's not like you two talk."
Boone smirked. "Actually, we do. I gave him my number a while back. He sends me puppy videos about twenty times a day."
A laugh burst from Jarek without his permission. "Yeah. That sounds about right." He brushed his hand over his eyes. "Fuck. I'm just… fuck."
Boone nodded and stood. "I'll go so you can too. It sounds like you have more important things to handle than being here. Your boy needs you. You should probably worry about that first."
Jarek's shoulders fell. He knew Boone was right. Jarek just didn't know where to start. He couldn't make Luca stay. The way Luca looked at him this morning before everything fell apart flitted through his mind. There had been love in his eyes. Jarek felt it each time Luca met his stare. His shoulders squared. That was it. The puzzle pieces snapped together in his mind. Why would Luca stay if he didn't know how Jarek felt? Sometimes, he forgot to say the important things, but he loved Luca. Jarek wouldn't let him leave without a fight. He needed to get home and say as much. Luca couldn't leave him. That was that.