Chapter 22

TWENTY-TWO

AMBER

T he next week, we're in Dallas when Teddy barrels onto the stage in the middle of my afternoon sound check.

"You're going to kill me," he says, gripping his side and breathing heavily. Two of the arena's security guards skid to a stop behind him.

"Ms. Hope, I'm so sorry," the shorter one says. "We told him he couldn't come in, but he surprised us and took off at a run."

The taller one wrings his hands while trying to catch his breath. "He knew where he was going, and he's fast. I'm really sorry." He grabs one of Teddy's arms. "We'll get rid of him. Please don't let them fire us."

"Relax. No one is getting fired," I assure them.

I'm annoyed, but not with them. I glare at Teddy. Why is he crashing my rehearsal? Is it impossible for him to avoid wreaking havoc in my life?

Brian hurries over, steps in front of them, and frees Teddy. "We're used to Teddy's tendency to do whatever the hell he wants. We can handle things from here."

Teddy winces but doesn't apologize as Brian glares at him and ushers the two security guards away. One of my own security members steps forward and crosses his arms.

"Can I speak with you?" Teddy pleads with desperation.

He hasn't been answering my calls since he barreled into the hotel last week. Brian has been in contact with his manager, and has been monitoring Teddy's shows, which thankfully don't seem as dire as Teddy made them sound. The fans appear to be enjoying themselves, and the press has been overwhelmingly positive thus far.

I turn to everyone who's on stage. "Let's take a break."

They start to disperse with nary a comment. I catch a few eye rolls, and I'm sure the gossip backstage will be intense, but most of them remember when Teddy and I were dating so they aren't surprised by his drama.

He chews on his fingernail as the stage empties. "Can we go somewhere private?"

I nod and lead him to my dressing room where Mina greets us with wide eyes. I'm still more annoyed than worried when I tell her, "We need a minute."

She hesitates and then reluctantly trudges out of the room.

"Well?" I put my hands on my hips.

"You're going to kill me," he repeats.

"Teddy." I sigh. "If I didn't kill you when I found you with your dick in someone else, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to kill you now."

He fidgets with the zipper on his jacket. "This is worse than that."

What could be worse than him humiliating me publicly during our joint tour? I tap my foot as I wait for him to speak.

His face contorts. "I'm so sorry," he whispers.

"What did you do?" I ask sharply, losing patience.

He keeps his focus trained on the stupid zipper.

"Teddy. Answer me."

His arrival was so dramatic that I assumed it was just another stunt, but now I'm legitimately worried as he squeezes his eyes shut like it'll be easier to tell me if he doesn't have to see me. "I was talking to Annabelle Singer, and I might have told her that we're not getting back together."

Annabelle is a sports reporter who is exceptionally good at questioning athletes until they reveal their biggest regrets, fears, and mistakes, but she's never shown any interest in me other than asking Slater a few questions about our friendship and I don't have a problem with her telling the world that Teddy and I are over.

I drop my hands from my hips, relieved that he hasn't done something unforgivable. "We aren't getting back together," I remind him.

He covers his face with his hands and mumbles between his fingers. "I know. But that isn't the bad part." His voice trembles. "I might have told her why we can't get back together."

"Because we're wrong for each other? Because we don't love each other like that? Because you cheated on me?"

He drops his hands. His eyes are watery like he's trying not to cry.

"Not exactly." And then words explode out of his mouth. "I told her that it's too late. That I ruined my chances with you all those years ago. Which is true, right?" He takes a step forward and then shuffles back. "But then, I told her that you're in love with Nolan and that you're going to marry him and have more babies and I'll be nothing but a sad and lonely formerly famous pop star who people pity because he squandered his only chance to have a family." He hiccups. "I'm such an asshole."

My mouth drops open, and my palms start sweating. Air rushes in and out of my lungs as I drop onto the sofa. Teddy told a nationally renowned reporter that I'm in love with Nolan.

In love.

With Nolan.

We've only been dating for a week. Although, as far as Teddy is concerned it's been much longer.

I can't believe I never once considered that he'd tell someone. He doesn't think before he acts. He never has. I drop my head into my hands.

What am I going to tell Nolan?

Even though I'm not an athlete, Annabelle won't hesitate to chase this story, and Nolan will hate being the target of speculation and gossip. How will our relationship survive?

Teddy comes closer and collapses to his knees in front of me. "Fuck. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. Have you ever met Annabelle? She's hot and she's nice. We started chatting and suddenly I was telling her all this personal shit. When she asked about you, she was so sympathetic and kind that I found myself telling her about you and Nolan. She's such a good listener that I couldn't stop talking." He sniffles. "How do I fix this?"

He can't fix it. "Find Brian," I say into my hands.

Teddy rises to his feet and scurries away while I try to take steady breaths.

As soon as this hits the news, everyone will know that Teddy betrayed me. Again.

My private life will be news. Again.

And Nolan will be at the center of a media frenzy that may not be very flattering—to either of us—especially if Annabelle sides with Teddy or if Teddy plays the spurned suitor.

How will I protect Nolan?

The press will dig into his life, and they'll uncover personal details, like who his father is or what happened at his last job. He'll hate the scrutiny and I'll hate subjecting him to it.

I don't want to lose him. And I don't want to hurt him either.

I try to sit up so I can find my phone to see if the story has already dropped, but the world swims in front of me forcing me to lean forward, cover my face with my hands for the second time, and refocus on my breathing. I'm not prone to panic attacks, but in the early part of my career, I did occasionally get overwhelmed. My mother found me a therapist and I discovered a measure of relief with meditation techniques.

Deep and slow breaths. In and out.

It takes a minute, but when I start to calm down, I realize I can't check my phone because I have no idea where Mina put it. She usually hands it to me when I come off stage, but she didn't today because she wasn't expecting me to take a break when I did.

Noise from the hallway causes me to sit up. Thankfully, this time, my vision and breathing are steady. A moment after I'm upright, Brian darts into the room with Mina close on his heels. They converge on me in a flurry of words, talking over each other so I can't make out what they're saying.

"Guys," I interrupt, holding up my hand. "One at a time."

"Are you okay?" Brian asks. It's only the second time he's asked me that, and the first was moments after we witnessed Teddy's bare ass as he thrust into another woman.

"Yes." I can handle this. "I need my phone," I tell Mina.

She sets it in my hand, and I grip it tightly, not sure where to start. "Teddy told you what happened?"

Brian nods tersely. "I'm going to get Annabelle Singer on the phone."

"Your social media activity has been normal all day. No weird comments or posts. As far as I can tell, no blogs or articles have picked up the story." Mina's focus is on her phone as she keeps talking. "I'm going to get in touch with your PR team. Give them a heads up so they can start working on a plan." She starts typing furiously.

"I should call Nolan." He needs to know.

Brian gives me a brisk nod as he raises his phone to his ear and turns away. He moves toward the wall and starts speaking softly.

"I'm so glad you called," Nolan says as soon as he answers. "Maddy's fussy and she felt a little warm, so I took her temperature. She's running a low-grade fever so we should probably stay at the hotel tonight."

My other problems fade into the background. "Is she okay? Does she need a doctor?"

"I don't think so. She's sleeping right now," he says reassuringly. "I texted one of my brothers—he's a doctor—and he said to make sure she stays hydrated, but other than that he doesn't think a fever with fussiness is cause for immediate concern."

"Okay." I will not panic. "You're going to keep a close watch on her?"

My phone beeps, asking me to switch to a video call.

When I accept, Maddy and Nolan fill my screen. He's propped on a pillow, and she's sprawled on his chest with her eyes closed. Her little hand is fisted on his shirt. Seeing them together comforts me. I never anticipated finding competence in child rearing sexy, but I absolutely do. "We're going to stay just like this until she wakes up," he says softly. "And if anything changes or she seems worse, I'll let you know."

I want to be curled up with them. "Should I cancel the show?"

"You never cancel a show."

It's true. I've gone on stage when I've been the one with the fever. "But?—"

He interrupts. "I've got this. It's my job to take care of Maddy so you can do your job. We'll be here when you're done."

"You're right." I inhale. "She's going to be fine."

"Of course." The quiet simplicity of those two words steadies me.

"Amber," Brian interrupts from across the room and brings me back to the reason I called.

"Ugh," I whisper softly when I realize I haven't told Nolan what Teddy did.

Nolan's brows draw together. "What's wrong?"

"Are you talking to Nolan now?" Brian asks as he moves across the room.

At my nod, he continues, "Excellent. I think I have a workable solution, but it requires his agreement, too."

I tip my head toward the spot next to me on the sofa. "Have a seat." Then I transfer my attention back to my phone. Like pulling off a Band-Aid, I explain what Teddy told Annabelle. Nolan doesn't interrupt, but the wrinkle between his eyes becomes more pronounced the longer I speak.

When I finish, Brian starts talking without giving Nolan a chance to respond. "I spoke with Annabelle Singer, and she claims that she isn't the only one who knows you two are dating and that she's willing to forget everything Teddy told her in return for an exclusive interview with both of you." He blows out a breath. "You don't have to confirm a relationship, but the fact that you're talking to her together is a confirmation by itself. It wouldn't be live so we'll have some control over what airs." He frowns. "She can be ruthless, but she also has a reputation for being fair, and this will allow you to get ahead of the rumors."

I try to guess what Nolan is thinking, but it's impossible for me to read the look on his face. It doesn't look like distress, but it doesn't look like joy either. This isn't what he signed up for. Is he angry? Surprised? Concerned? Ready to bail?

"Who is Annabelle Singer?" he finally asks.

Brian answers briskly, "She's a sports reporter."

"Why does a sports reporter want to do an interview with a pop star and her not famous boyfriend?"

"Well…" Brian blows out a breath. "She knows about your father. And she knows you're the nanny. Combined, those two things are enough to make you interesting."

"Family assistant," Nolan corrects absently. "I still don't understand. Amber isn't an athlete. And other than owning a minority share in a baseball team, my father isn't either. I mean, I get this is a juicy story, but why does a sports reporter care?"

"I get the feeling that she's trying to expand her brand," Brian says. "What better way to branch into entertainment reporting than an exclusive interview with Amber Hope and her new boyfriend?"

Maddy shifts against Nolan's chest, and he gently starts rubbing her back. It's an absentminded gesture that shoots straight into my heart. Why is he so effortlessly sweet?

"Nolan, what do you want to do?" I ask. "I can deny everything. Tell Annabelle that Teddy is wrong." It's the last thing I want to do, and it won't stop the gossip, but I have to make the offer.

His gaze locks onto me, and the wrinkle between his brow disappears. "Teddy isn't wrong."

"He isn't," I confirm softly, "but Annabelle doesn't know that."

He hesitates and then says, "If you tell her we're not, but we are, and something else leaks, it'll be a disaster. Secrets don't stay secrets for long."

"So you think we should…confirm the rumors?"

He sighs. "It…we…it's your career, what do you want to do?"

"This isn't about my career. It's about our lives. I don't want to push you into something you'll regret. If we talk to Annabelle together, the scrutiny will be intense."

It's invasive to have strangers weigh in on my personal life. I'm as used to it as I can be, but Nolan isn't. What if he hates it? What if it's too much? What if he leaves me?

As if he can read my mind, he says, "I'll be fine. In a couple of months, I can't imagine anyone will care that you're dating Russell Gage's least interesting son."

He's joking, but that doesn't ease my worries. "Most interesting," I correct with a sniffle.

He scoffs. "Social media presence. None. High profile career. Nope. Flashy lifestyle. Definitely not. I'm not going to garner clicks or sell magazines. Face it—once they meet me, their interest will fade."

"But—"

"It's okay," he reassures me. "You don't need to worry about me. We both know I'm not going to help you sell albums, but I don't want to be a hindrance either. And I don't want you to lie about us." His eyes crinkle as he smiles. "Luckily, you don't require a man to bolster your success. You're already a superstar, and you're going to continue to be a superstar no matter who you're dating."

Goodness. Those words burrow directly into my heart. It's like he knew exactly what to say to convince me that everything will be alright. My career might not require his presence. But I'm starting to think that my happiness might. I've never felt such peace or bone deep contentment as I felt during the last week.

"Okay." I swallow thickly and resist the urge to start crying. "I don't want the increased scrutiny to make you uncomfortable."

His expression softens. "If I'm uncomfortable, I'll tell you."

"Okay." I have to trust that he will. I also have to find a way to believe that we'll work through the challenges that are coming. Silence settles between us while I get lost in his familiar features. The urge to head back to the hotel is difficult to resist.

"Amber," Mina interrupts, bringing me back to reality once again. "The pre-show festivities start in thirty minutes."

I grimace because I'm not even close to ready to go on stage. "I want to stay on the phone and keep talking, but I've got to get back on schedule."

Teddy slinks into the room and lurks near the door. I attempt to ignore him as Nolan says, "I know. I'll send Mina updates on how Maddy is doing. And I'll see you tonight after the show."

"Okay," I respond softly, wishing I could sink into his arms and borrow a bit of his strength.

"Don't worry. We're going to figure this out," he assures me.

I touch my fingers to my lips and he does the same before the screen goes black.

I push myself to my feet. "I guess I should get back out there."

Brian looks at his watch. "Nope. You've got to get your makeup touched up and then you've got to change. Your schedule is going to be tight as it is. While you're getting ready, I'm going to get back on the phone. I'll set everything up for the interview." He reaches out and squeezes my hand. "We're going to spin this perfectly. Nolan's right, you don't need to worry."

I nod and shuffle across the room.

Teddy shifts against the wall and eyes me cautiously. The guilty look on his face hasn't faded. If anything, it's gotten worse. He wants me to absolve him, and I can't do it, at least not yet.

I swallow thickly. "We've got this. You should…go."

He nods sadly. "For what it's worth, I really am sorry. And…I'm glad you're happy with Nolan. I really am. He seems like a good guy." He pauses. "Is Maddy okay?"

"She's a bit sick. Fever."

"Can I swing by your hotel and check on her?"

Even though I'm furious with him, I don't want to keep him away from our daughter. It's important to me that she has both of us in her life. "Of course. I'll text Nolan to let him know."

He nods again and slowly traipses out of the room.