44 - Melissa

44

Melissa

I felt trapped once I was back in the Indigo Cabin. It was like a prison, keeping me from moving on with my life. I could entertain myself by sleeping with three men, passing the time in bed with pizza and Mexican food and whiskey, but that wasn’t real life. It was just a comforting distraction.

I was done being comforted. I was ready to get back on track, to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. Maybe that did mean moving out of Toledo. Jack was right that I had no reason to stay there. But I needed to make that decision by myself, without being influenced by anyone.

These men were practically strangers to me. I’d only known them for a few days. I had to get away. When it came to the fight-or-flight instinct, I always chose flight. It was definitely winning right now.

Crested Butte wasn’t big enough to have Uber drivers, but I found a taxi service based in Gunnison half an hour away. One phone call later and a driver was on their way. The three hour drive back to the trailhead where Jack and Ash picked me up was going to cost a pretty penny, but that’s why I had a credit card. That was a worry I could push off to the future.

And the future wasn’t guaranteed.

There was a campsite at the trailhead. I could sleep there tonight, then start back on the hike first thing tomorrow morning.

It was a simple plan, but it felt like a life raft, so I grabbed onto it with both hands.

I collected my things and stuffed them in my big hiking backpack. When I started my hike I had a very specific order my things had to be packed, the most efficient way to maximize the space. After a week in Crested Butte, I’d forgotten what that was. I didn’t care. I could dump everything out when I got to camp tonight and repack it then.

When I zipped it up, the backpack felt much heavier than it had a week ago. But that was still lighter than the weight of responsibility I felt if I stayed in this town.

The trail was freedom.

The trail was independence.

I laughed at myself as I laced up my hiking boots. I hadn’t been single long enough. Just over a month. Five weeks. What was I thinking, jumping into bed with someone new? And not just one man, but three of them!

My mistakes now stood out with perfect 20/20 vision. The path before me had never been more clear.

I’d had my fun here in Crested Butte. It was an experience, a collection of experiences, I would never forget. But now it was time to be serious. Time to get on with my life.

The future may not have been guaranteed, but it still had to be considered.

I heard a car pull up, and sure enough, it was a yellow car with the words Gunnison Cab Service on the side. I took one final look around the cabin that had been my home for the last week, then strode outside without a second thought.

Jack was standing on his porch, watching as I walked to the cab. I set down my pack next to the car and started in his direction. I still desperately needed to leave, but it felt wrong to leave without saying something else.

“Jack…” I began.

He gestured with a hand. “Go on, then.” Then he went inside his cabin. He didn’t slam the door. That felt worse than if he had. He seemed so resigned.

I shook my head. I didn’t owe him anything. He’d helped me, but that wasn’t a reason to stay here. If anything, it was yet another reason to go. To get away from anything that might tie me down.

One of the cats, Eric I thought, brushed up against my leg and mewled. I gave it a scratch behind the ear, then turned back toward the taxi. I was sad, but determined. I was doing the right thing.

I got in the car and drove out of Crested Butte, back toward the path I was meant to be on.