Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

SIYANA

I’d live to regret those words in the weeks that came and went.

As soon as I had an ounce of strength, Theo had me walking and then running laps within the tunnel system, with Kaida learning to fly through them alongside me. Thankfully, with my bond to Kaida, I wasn’t in danger of being a small snack for an unsuspecting dragon. Our path had taken us by large caverns of multiple dragons sleeping peacefully, and none had stirred with my presence.

That was just our morning warm-up, with the afternoons consisting of hand-to-hand combat. At first, Theo had been surprised by my skill and ability to hold my own…when he wasn’t using his magic. However, as soon as he introduced the magic to our fights, I was no longer a match. It didn’t matter how many times I attempted to memorize his moves and tells like I would Brenson. Theo was completely blank, giving nothing away.

Recently, he’d turned to taunting me, as if goading me into an agitated state would make me fight any better. All it did was fan the flame of resentment for him that burned in my heart, the inability to equal him in combat only adding fuel to the raging fire. It served as a reminder of how inept I was in this world, and it felt like salt in the wounds of him not thinking me good enough to be his mate–even if I didn’t want to be.

Our talks diminished to only speaking to one another when absolutely necessary, and only in regards to Kaida’s needs and training now that we’d moved back to our own alcove. Sinda’s mate had stayed away per her request while the quickening had occurred, but he had grown increasingly impatient, and it was safest for us all to leave.

The nights brought a level of tension I’d love to be rid of, when we were forced to lay together on our small bed of shrubbery. Thankfully, Kaida distracted me from the forced proximity with his incessant snoring. Still, sometimes my body reacted of its own volition from being so close to Theo. Occasionally, our limbs would brush when one of us moved, and without fail, we’d instantly still, like we were breaking a rule and trying to not get caught by the other.

The small touches seemed to be occurring more often in recent nights, and it was proving harder and harder to not seek relief from my growing needs. It wasn’t like I had any moments of privacy to please myself. Despite not wanting to seek emotional depth with him any longer, I still had eyes that appreciated the lean, muscular build he put on display as he stripped down to his trousers every night.

This afternoon, when Kaida’s stretch of training with Theo came to a close, the little dragon promptly collapsed, exhausted from the demand his wings were taking as they tried to build his endurance for the trip. In a matter of just weeks, he’d somehow doubled in size, and I was already missing the sweet little baby he’d been when we first met and bonded.

He rolled onto his side and his wing flapped over with the move, smacking him in the face. I winced, wondering if it hurt, but his snores quickly echoed around us, and I relaxed.

Theo stalked toward me as I finished my stretching routine, voice slick with sarcasm as he gestured toward Kaida with a tilt of his head, “Intellect isn’t a flower that grows in every garden, I see.”

“Don’t call him stupid,” I quickly defended, jumping to my feet as fire burned in my belly. “He is still a baby and is trying his best. You see how exhausted he is.”

I took extreme offense to Theo’s words. I was beyond proud of my dragon and the tenacity he showed at such a young age. He should be off frolicking with his sister and other siblings that had since hatched, and I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that I still felt immense guilt for taking him away from his family. Despite the countless times Theo and Sinda had both reassured me that dragons didn’t share the same familial attachments as humans did, I still couldn't help but wonder if he’d be happier surrounded by his own kind.

He gave it all up for me, and I wouldn’t let anyone talk poorly of him.

Theo’s hand lifted to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You assume the worst of my words every time, Siyana. I simply meant that it was amusing to see his wings still act of their own accord. It is typical of younglings.”

I bristled at his use of my name. We’d given up the wench and dragon boy nicknames after the conversation following my awakening from the quickening, as the tension and anger built up to new heights. It still felt odd when he called me that, despite the weeks of him choosing my full name over the nickname. It didn’t sit right within my chest to have such formality.

“Whatever,” I responded, bouncing on the balls of my feet and rolling my neck around. “Let’s get to training. We’re wasting precious time with each day we stay here.”

I desperately needed to work off some of this pent-up energy or I was going to combust.

At this point, I wasn’t even sure I hated him anymore. Perhaps I hated myself for the pull I felt toward him, the temptation of his body as he wound through training sessions, muscles tightening and untightening, sweat glistening.... After everything, I thought the feelings would fade, and yet they only seemed to grow alongside my annoyance. And still yet, it seemed so easy for him. He was formal and detached, showing no signs of frustration other than with my inability to make what he deemed acceptable progress in our training sessions. Worst of all, the only thing my mind seemed to focus on was how he wasn’t as affected by me as I was by him.

Pining after him left me resenting myself, if I was being honest. I wanted to turn it off as badly as I wanted to break this curse and secure the safety of the people in my kingdom. I thought of the women’s lives that had been lost, and the thought of more being taken as I remained stagnant in my training forced me to work harder every day.

As I waited for Theo to compose himself to start our fight, his eyes fixated on the wall behind me, seemingly distracted by something. I glanced behind me, half expecting a dragon to somehow have snuck up on me, but when I saw nothing but an empty tunnel, I turned back with a raised eyebrow. “Hello? Are we going to spar or what?”

“Hold please,” he whispered, lifting a hand, “Lucius is talking to me about a new issue arising.”

My curiosity won over my budding anger at him giving me the hand, and I waited patiently for him to fill me in. There had been a few attempts to kill Lucius over the weeks, but neither Theo or him seemed particularly bothered by it, saying the culprits were easily killed in response. How they weren’t bothered by multiple attempts at his life, I didn’t know, nor could I fathom the grit it required to simply continue on in the face of such adversity.

I watched with rapt fascination as Theo’s face ran through a wild array of emotions, from shock, to intrigue, and finally to confusion. Now that was new. He never reacted to Lucius like that. Each emotion was easily portrayed by the way his lips moved, from agape, to pursed, and then pressed into a thin line. Or maybe I just had an obsession with looking at his lips and needed to get a grip.

I missed the days before I knew the softer and possessive sides of Theo. The bliss of ignorance was far preferable to the knowledge that made me yearn to see the softer parts of him at all times. It was so much easier to fear being his wife when I thought him a cold-hearted brute. Before I knew he would protect me and cradle me to his chest possessively when I called out for him. The tender way he held my hand and fixed my wounds. How he’d opened up and shown me the wounds his father had left behind and the immense weight he felt from taking on his birthright as king. The way he suffered the burden silently, giving me only the briefest glimpses into his struggles.

“It appears your friends have made the trek to my castle to demand your return,” he breathed out, focusing back on my face. “They said they aren’t leaving, no matter the danger to them that Lucius has warned them of.”

That was high on the list of things I never expected to come from his mouth. “Which friends?”

“Tillie, Mira, and…Brenson,” he answered, the last name showing the first bit of fire within Theo that I’d seen in weeks. Perhaps he wasn’t as unaffected as I thought.

I cleared my throat at the tension building with the mere mention of my friend. “Will Lucius be able to protect them until we’re back? I worry about Tillie and Mira being there, just as we feared for my safety as an unmated human.”

Theo’s eyes narrowed and he averted his gaze, opening his mouth and closing it.

“What?” I demanded, sensing he wasn’t telling me everything.

His jaw clenched and the veins on his forearms bulged as his hands clenched. “I will tell you this, but you have to promise to not freak out.”

My heart all but jumped into my throat. “You can’t start with that! It immediately makes people freak out, Theo!”

His eyes rolled before he sighed heavily. “Don’t be so dramatic. Your precious Brenson is fine. It just seems that Lucius has taken an interest in Tillie, in a similar manner as my dragon feels to you. Now, can we continue with our training? We need to leave within the next few days. It cannot wait any longer.”

Without waiting for my response, he rid himself of his tunic, causing me to narrow my eyes. If he thought he was going to distract me with his body, or stop me from thinking of Brenson and my friends in general…Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong, but two could play that game if it got me the answers I wanted. Surely I could catch him off guard and prod him until he cracked. It was clear he didn’t give a shit to give me answers as we stood now.

I stripped off my vest and tunic, leaving me in only my black brassiere and trousers. Instantly, he stiffened, his eyes falling to my breasts as my skin pebbled with the brisk chill of the cave, despite our fire. He seemed to snap out of a trance and demanded, “What is the meaning of this?”

“You think you’re the only one who can play that game?” I questioned, stepping closer to him, enjoying the way he took a step back. “Or are you too riled up with jealousy that Brenson is here to rescue me from you to even remember what my question was, about Lucius protecting them?”

His nostrils flared, his eyes sparking with glittering blue magic before he took slow, calculated steps forward to close the distance between us. My body seemed to come alive a “You don’t know how dangerous the game you’re playing right now is, wench.”

Yet I did. I knew exactly where teasing and taunting him went, if from nothing else than at the very least from my display of pleasuring myself in the hot springs. Was I trying to get the same rise out of him now? Already, I was pleased at the renewed use of my nickname. My brain wasn’t working on logic, deciding to shut off entirely and give in to the emotions spurring me on instead.

My hand lifted to trail a finger down his chest as I stared up at him from beneath my lashes. “Are you thinking of how Brenson will ravish me after so much time apart? The way his mouth will devour mine.” I trailed my hand lower, drawing to a slow stop just above his trousers. “How his hands will travel down my body just like this.”

He trembled beneath my touch, but I wasn’t sure if it was from barely restrained anger, or desire. Perhaps both, which was exactly how I’d been existing recently.

Suddenly the cave spun as my feet were knocked from underneath me. I attempted to throw my hands out to break my fall, but thick arms wrapped around me just before my head could hit the floor. A large hand cupped the back of my head tenderly. Theo’s body pressed atop mine as his head dropped close to my ear. “You may think you can win by distracting me, but that only works if you aren’t as equally distracted and have a clear mind.”

I bucked my hips, attempting to move him from me, but I knew how this went. It was futile, given his size and weight. Instead, I switched my efforts to banging my fist into where his kidneys would be if his anatomy was similar to ours in this form. He grunted and snarled at me. “Stop that. I’m not moving until we figure this the fuck out. Right now, wench. This ridiculousness has dragged on for far too long.”

He lowered my head to the ground right before he lifted his upper body to snatch my wrists in his grip. His weight shifted into his hips, driving down into me, and I squirmed at the feel of his hardness pressing against me. At the very least, it seemed we were on the same page about not actually being disgusted by the other.

“Figure what out, Theo?” I snapped, letting all of the emotions out that I’d been suppressing for weeks. Fury rose within my chest as I continued, “That I’m a complete idiot and can’t get over this draw to you, no matter how many times you make it clear you don’t want me? That you’ll leave me as soon as this curse is broken without a second thought, and I’ll be left thinking about you because I can’t get you out of my stupid head!”

At some point in my rant, my anger had joined forces with the anxiety I felt about never seeing him again. It wasn’t rational. None of my feelings for him were. The worst part was that my last admission was tinged with my true emotion: grief.

I was already grieving being shipped back off to my home, with no chance to speak on what I wanted. All I wanted was to have a fucking chance to choose my own future.

My hands were jerked above my head suddenly, pinning them there in one of his large hands as he bent back over me. Our chests brushed against each other as he asked, “Do you want to stay at my side, at the end of this?”

The question threw me completely off-guard, and suddenly I felt completely naked beneath him. As if he was forcing my soul to the surface, bearing it to him merely for his own viewing pleasure. The question burned as hotly as my anger, as my attraction.

“I…I,” I stammered, averting my gaze to the side, unable to hold the intensity of his stare with how close he was to my lips. My body squirmed as an overwhelming need to escape him overcame me. I didn’t want to tell him the truth. I didn’t want to give him a chance to reject me once more.

His free hand came up to grip my jaw, harshly enough to tilt my head back, forcing me to look into his searching eyes. “No. I’m giving you the chance now, to tell me what you want. I should have before, but I thought I was doing the right thing. The odds of a drackya finding their mate were already lower than you think, even before the curse. So what do you think the odds are of you being mine, when I demanded your hand in marriage before even meeting you?”

The thought of him finding someone else had my lips thinning and my breaths quickening in my chest. My lips fell open, but I found that I couldn’t summon the words he wanted.

“Tell me, wench. What are the odds?”

“None!” I yelled, tired of this question. “The odds are against it.”

His grip on my jaw loosened enough for his thumb to rise up and brush along my lower lip. My lips parted instantly as my core tightened, desire flooding my system. “Now I want you to tell me if, despite knowing that, you want to give into this, knowing the possible outcomes? I can’t get a taste of you and let you go if it isn’t you. I’m too fucking infatuated with you, wench.”

My breath hitched with the admission as his thumb dipped into my mouth. “The amount of times I’ve pictured these sinful lips wrapped around my cock.” I closed my mouth, running my tongue along the pad of his thumb and he groaned, flexing his hips down in the process. “The way you haunt my every waking and sleeping moment.”

I released his thumb and he dragged it out, running the palm of his hand down my cheek as his fingers sank into the hair on the side of my head. Our foreheads touched as he lowered his face toward mine. My heart was beating so wildly, there was no way he couldn’t feel my reaction to his words. To the heat of his body. To his admission, equally as damning as my own truth.

“Then why have you denied me at every turn?” I asked, hating the vulnerability in my soft tone. I swallowed, trying to vanquish the unwanted emotion, before continuing, “You’ve made these past few weeks seem so easy, with the distance we’ve built between us.”

A rumble flowed from his chest into mine, making my nipples pebble through the thin brassiere. “Easy? That is the last word I would use to describe shoving down my desire for you. It was easy to focus on training and hoping that you and Kaida progressed enough to ensure I didn’t lose either of you when we leave this mountain. It was easy to incite your anger, in a desperate attempt to remind myself that you didn’t want me, when I was so close to giving in. It was easier to think of you not wanting me anymore than to think of expressing my fucking need for you and you rejecting me.”

My mouth suddenly went dry as he pulled his head back and brushed his thumb along my temple.

“Because that’s what I deserve, Siyana. I deserve for you to reject me after what I’ve put you through. You deserve someone better than me, but I’m coming to realize I’m not as self-righteous as I thought.” His already deep voice dropped to an almost growl as he bit out, “I don’t care if there’s a better match for you out there. I’ll freeze them within a block of ice and drop them into the ocean without a second thought if it means you remain mine.”

This was what I’d been wanting, but was it too late? Could I trust his words, or would he take them back tomorrow?

As our eyes locked, I couldn't help but notice the raw, unbridled yearning in his gaze. It was as if all of his desires were laid bare before me, and I could feel every emotion coursing through him. The intensity of our eye contact was palpable, drawing us closer together with an irresistible pull. In that moment, it was as if nothing else existed except for the fire burning between us as our lips brushed against each other for the first time.

Could I give into my needs while still protecting my heart?

“Fuck it,” I breathed out.