Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

RAVEN

E ven though I no longer need to, I hold Ren’s arm on the way to the Halloween party. I consider sliding my hand into his, which would be more intimate. I’ve slowed my pace because I’d rather get to know Ren than go to this lame party. Noah and I don’t get along.

“This poem you spoke of before. What is it about?” Renikk asks.

“I’ll see if I can get a copy for you to read.” I would read it to him myself, but my book is in braille and I’m not quite ready to tell him about my blindness.

Renikk will find out eventually, but I’d rather delay the inevitable as long as possible, to give me, us, a chance to know one another better. People change when they find out. They walk away or make small talk and close down because they don’t know what to say. There’s nothing to say. I am who I am.

His hand slides into mine. Wow, it’s like he read my mind. And man, this feels incredibly right.

“You appear distracted, Raven.”

“Just thinking about the party.”

“You’re not excited about going?”

“Usually, I go out of boredom. I’d rather spend the time with you, but I realize you have to return to work.” I don’t want to keep him from patrolling the area or risk getting him fired.

Neither of us mentions the fact that we’re holding hands as we walk. This is getting serious. Well, not that type of serious. Yet. But maybe in time. I haven’t been with a man since that one guy tried to force me. He assumed because I couldn’t see that I was desperate. Or too scared to fight back.

The moment I slammed my knee into his balls, I felt invincible.

“You’re smiling,” Ren says. “Does that mean you don’t mind that I took your hand in mine?”

Oh, he’s cute. Really sweet, and worried about me. “I love holding hands. It’s very… intimate.”

“That, it is. Back home, we are discouraged from public displays of intimacy.”

“Even holding hands? I mean, it’s not that intimate. Not like hooking up.”

“Hooking up?”

“Getting busy. Making out.”

Total silence.

He either doesn’t understand, or he thinks I’m making a move on him and he’s not interested. I’m not making a move. Not exactly.

“Sex,” I say bluntly.

His hand tenses for a moment, then relaxes. “I will not touch you. Unless you want me to,” he adds with a lift to his voice.

I can’t help but smile. He sounds a little nervous. I desperately want to touch him, to learn the shape of his face, whether his jaw is square and his brows thick. Whether he’s clean shaven or has just a hint of scruff that I like on a guy. Asking if I can touch him in that manner suddenly feels too intimate, because he’s quickly becoming more than a random person to me.

“Wait here,” he instructs and lets go of my hand. I don’t move an inch since I’m not sure where we are. I stopped counting steps a while back because I let myself get too wrapped up in talking with Ren… and thinking of ways to ask him out on a date. Despite just turning twenty-nine, I’ve never done that before.

That sublime scent of cedar and cloves is the only hint I have that he has returned. He walks as quietly as a cat.

“There’s a note on Noah’s door. He’s moved the party to the cemetery.”

“Awesome! I used to play hide and seek there with Charlotte when we were kids, but I haven’t been there in ages.”

“I’ll escort you, if you’d like,” Ren offers, with a note of hope in his voice.

This night keeps getting better and better.

RENIKK

Music blares from inside the cemetery, nearly drowning out the buzz of people talking and getting rowdy. Humans can be very odd. Partying in a place that demands respect for the fallen is a prime example. But Raven’s face lights when we enter.

Her entire body moves to the beat. “Isn’t the music great? Loud and lively enough to raise the dead,” she says with sheer joy.

Nothing can raise the dead but her excitement and swaying hips raise parts of me I wish would remain at rest while we’re in public.

To calm my racing blood, I scan the cemetery, as I should have done upon entering an area teaming with humans wearing masks and costumes. Anyone here could be the enemy. A quick escape, should one become necessary, will prove difficult given the condition of the graveyard.

Weeds and trees overwhelm the area, uprooting many grave stones. Other markers lie broken on the ground or tilt at odd angles. I don’t let go of Raven’s hand both for her safety and because nothing gives me more pleasure than being with her.

“I don’t understand this desire to party in a cemetery,” I say as we weave our way toward two or three dozen people dancing in an open area away from the graves.

“It’s all about setting the mood for Halloween. Creepy and dark. Speaking of which, have you spotted Noah yet?”

“Is this your way of asking me to describe the scene since you can’t see it?”

She stops walking. “You know?”

“That you are blind? Yes.”

Her face falls. She didn’t want me to know but the time for subterfuge is past. I want her to know who I am and yet once I tell her the truth, I risk being torn from her.

“I thought I hid it well,” Raven says.

“You do, but I’ve been watching you for months. I’ve seen you trip on new cracks in the pavement and slip on wet leaves, get up and have to feel around to re-orient precisely where you are. You know this area better than anyone, but you can’t spot changes. Why don’t you use your cane?”

She shrugs. “This is my safe zone. I don’t need to rely on my cane.”

“You mean you want to be independent.”

“Yes. I’d use my cane in new areas, except that makes me more of a target. Here, I don’t stand out because I know the layout. Every square inch.”

I let out a short growl. “You should be free to go where you please, my sholani.”

“Sholani? What’s that?”

My horns twist at the top. I want to tell her everything. “There’s a food table set up over there,” I say instead. “Are you hungry?”

“Famished. Lead the way, please.”

She hooks her arm around mine again and my horns rise higher than ever. The pride welling in me now that she’s eagerly holding onto me is unparalleled.

“I’ll describe the foods to you the best I can, but I don’t recognize all of them.” I tell her the position of all the items on the table so she can help herself and not have to depend on me or anyone.

After a quick bite, we walk the path between graves, again holding hands.

“Still no sign of Noah?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“You don’t like your cousin?”

“It’s mutual. He sees me as weak and I know he’s an asshole. Our mothers are sisters and they don’t give either of us a choice with these parties. He has to invite me and I have to go. To socialize . Translation, they hope I’ll find a guy to marry, to take care of me.” Her voice drips with sarcasm, to which I growl, unable to stop myself.

“Did you just… growl?”

“I dislike them forcing you to find a mate.”

“You almost sound jealous.”

Not almost.

“None of the males here are worthy of you. They spend their time drinking and talking of easy ways to make money. I do not believe a single one has a job.”

“Sounds about right. Then again, I don’t have a job either. And don’t you dare say that’s different because I’m a woman or blind. I’d love to do something useful with my life. Do you know what I do when I’m not walking through the neighborhood?”

I admit, I’ve wondered, but I cannot watch her inside her home, only when she leaves. “I don’t know.”

“I cook, play piano, and knit. A lot. I make blankets, scarves, hats, and mittens for the homeless.”

“A worthy task.”

“Yes, but I want to do more. Like figure out who’s starting those fires. People are scared, and they shouldn’t be. The war is over and it’s time to rebuild.”

She’s right, but this world holds many dangers including the Brotherhood which continues to undermine the government. Her father is Earth’s liaison to the Galactic Alliance. On his say alone, Earth could break off relations with the rest of the universe and then I’d be forced to leave Raven… on a planet that remains vulnerable to attack.

While Mr. Miller works with aliens as part of his negotiations with the Galactic Alliance, he is fiercely protective of his daughter. If he learns she is my heartmate, he’ll break off relations and keep me from her. This is why I cannot tell Raven the truth.