Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

Kicks was still in the room when I woke. Usually he said goodbye before dawn and I didn’t get a chance to really see him until later.

“You’re still here?” I asked, smiling as I sat up in bed.

“I had other matters to handle today.” His tone was chillier than the breeze off the ocean in winter.

Last night had started off rocky, but I’d thought the worst was over. Now here he was, looking as welcoming as the frozen tundra.

He put a bag on the dresser and then proceeded to take things out of it, filling the bag with his clothing.

“Are you going on an overnight trip?” If he was, it was going to be longer than one night with the amount of clothes he was packing. I sat up straighter as I watched him clean out one drawer and then move to the next. Maybe that was why he was so out of sorts?

“Kicks? What are you doing?” I asked, watching him fill the bag with more and more things until his drawers were nearly empty.

He sighed and then looked at me with a pained expression. “Our situation isn’t working out.”

I sat there like someone had punched me in the chest.

“ Situation ? Are we switching rooms or something?” He couldn’t mean us. I was still sore from last night’s sex. He did not mean us.

“Not we. I am. You’re free to stay here.” He emptied out the second drawer.

“This is a joke, right? You’re joking.” Why was he messing with me like this? I was already stressed out enough. “Kicks, stop. This isn’t funny.”

“No, it’s not. Whatever you want to call this thing we’ve been doing, it’s not working for me anymore. It’s too much. I’m tired. Being with you is exhausting. I woke up today and I realized I just don’t want to do this.”

He turned back to packing as I watched him.

“You don’t mean that. Why are you doing this? You said once we mated it was forever. I’ve given you so many outs. You’re saying now it’s not working?” I was on my feet, pulling on sweatpants because I was already feeling vulnerable. I at least wanted to be dressed.

“What don’t you understand? We’re done.”

I stared at him, and he didn’t shirk from my gaze, but his look was one I didn’t recognize. I felt as if I didn’t even know the person in front of me. He certainly didn’t have any of the warmth of the Kicks I knew.

“But you said once we mated…” How could he do this to me?

“What don’t you get? You’ve been nothing but a headache since I met you, yet I was still standing by your side, feeling bad for you, even when you killed my father. But it never ends. Now you’re fucking around with my brother and saying it’s for me ? This shouldn’t be so hard to understand. I’m done. Do whatever you want. I’ll be leaving here shortly without you.”

He put the last of his things in his bag and zipped it up while I stood there stunned.

He walked to the door. “I’m going to go tell Varic I’m renouncing you as my mate. It’s procedure for you to be there when I do, but it won’t matter either way.”

I took a step toward him, and he headed down the hall, not even waiting for me to catch up. I forced my legs to keep moving even as I wanted to collapse. It felt like I was following a monster. Maybe it was in the genes? He was as horrible as his father and brother were.

Kicks walked into Varic’s suite without knocking. I followed, every step harder to take than the last. Varic looked at Kicks and then me as he put the situation together. I tried to keep my face serene, my pulse slow.

“To what do I owe this visit?” Varic asked calmly, but there was excitement in his tone. He perched on the corner of his desk, as if he wanted to be up close to hear this one.

I wanted to crumble but I wouldn’t, not in front of Varic. And now, not in front of Kicks. I’d been down before and made it. If he thought he’d be the one to finally crush me, he was wrong.

“We’re done,” Kicks said. “I’ll be leaving by the end of this week and going home.”

“You’re relinquishing your claim on her?” Varic asked, his eyes lighting up.

“Yes. I came here to officially renounce her as my mate.”

Kicks was really doing this. Until he said it, I wasn’t sure I’d quite believed it. He was done with me. I’d told him to walk away for months and yet he’d stuck by me, only to discard me here, in Scotland, when I needed him the most.

I wanted to scream, cry, beat him. But I did nothing but force myself to stand ramrod straight.

“You know how this goes. I need you to state your official reasons for renouncement,” Varic said. His eyes looked like they’d doubled in size as he watched this disaster unfold.

“She’s too much of a burden on me and my pack to remain with her. Not to mention she’s most likely barren, unable to give me children, and is unable to contribute in any other meaningful way that would benefit me.”

I was frozen, refusing to betray a glimmer of the agonizing hurt within me. I was too numb to do anything. He was ridding himself of me, and now he was going to list my inadequacies to boot. They weren’t even true. What about how I’d rid the pack of the human invaders? Was that not a contribution? I would’ve died for that pack. That wasn’t enough for him?

“I accept your denouncement. You are now officially nothing to each other,” Varic said, all the while fighting a smile.

“I’ll be gone in a week. I’ve moved my items out of the room and will find another to settle in. I won’t be here much longer. I have more important things to handle.”

“Completely understandable,” Varic said, sounding more pleasant to Kicks than I’d heard him the entire time we’d been there.

But what I was really reeling from was that Kicks was truly leaving. He was just up and abandoning me here.

He turned, not looking at me as he passed, like I wasn’t even in the room anymore.

Varic smiled, walking over now that Kicks was gone. “Well, he just made my life easier for the first time since I was born. I’m sorry you had to see him for what he truly is, but it’s for the best, isn’t it? Now you won’t feel bad for him or like you need to baby his feelings. I say good riddance.”

I smiled, in spite of the fact that all I wanted to do was collapse and cry. I held myself together and put on the performance of my life. “You’re completely right. Good riddance.”

“I hope you’ll be down for dinner tonight?”

“Of course.”

I was walking back to my room, wanting nothing more than to hide, when Athena stepped into my way.

Her lips were pointing down and her eyes were more squinty than ever as she stomped her way to me.

“We need to speak.”

I wasn’t sure when she’d grown a pair, but she suddenly seemed to have balls big enough to hang off a fender of a Mack truck.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but Varic is mine. No human will ever change that, no matter how big a freak you are.” People walked past, making sure to steer clear of us. She was talking loud enough that they would hear anyway. The whole place would have more juicy gossip to chew on by tonight.

I was deciding between ignoring her completely and unleashing all the anger inside me on her. I had plenty of it to spare right now. If I did lose my shit, the whole place would hear. Kicks would hear. I wouldn’t have anyone telling him how unhinged I was and let him think it was him. Whether she realized it or not, he saved her.

I stayed quiet, watching her.

She waited as if I were supposed to say something. I’d do pretty much anything to get rid of her right now, because I was on the brink of either going supernova or melting into a puddle of tears.

“Are you done? Because I’ve got things to do,” I said as casually as I could.

“You better remember your place,” she said, then turned and left.