Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Samson, Varic’s man, walked through the kitchen toward me, no partner, and with no gun ready to be drawn or poked. He still drew every set of eyes, as if they all sensed some drama coming. I wished they’d get that lax by the exits, but no. Those they still guarded like the Hope Diamond was at stake.

He stopped in front of me, briefly glancing at the dusting props I’d just gathered, before he said, “Varic wants to see you upstairs in his quarters— alone .” He spoke so loudly that it had to carry into the other room.

Really? He had to say it like that, in front of everyone in the kitchen? Athena? I didn’t even have to look at her to know her eyes had just gotten squinty. Did these people have no concept of discretion or how things might appear?

“I know the way. I’ll see myself there.”

Athena might’ve just growled. Oops. That goof was solely on me.

“Unless you want to accompany me?” I added, trying to clean up my misstep.

Samson’s front lip rose as if I’d coughed phlegm all over him. He turned and walked away.

I didn’t bother looking back at Athena. I’d had enough of her squinty looks for the day.

I made my way upstairs, glad Kicks was otherwise occupied somewhere else, even if it was calculated by Varic. Every day there seemed to be somewhere else he had to be.

Varic’s door was already open, and he looked up as I walked in.

“I need to go visit a nearby pack tomorrow. You’re going to come with me. It’s a few hours’ ride there and then back. You’ll return before dinner.” He smiled as if his decree were law.

“Why would you want me to go on business?” I said, because he was right. I was screwed. Right now, Varic was the biggest threat to Kicks—which said something, considering I had Death and Charon visiting me regularly.

“Because they’ll have heard of you, and I might want to give them a show.” He smiled. It was almost as bad as watching Death smile or try to make human movements. “One of those stun jobs you gave Kicks might be useful.”

“Why do you trust me to do anything for you?”

“Because as we’ve talked about, I’ve got leverage. You won’t risk their lives.” His smile grew wider, and even more revolting.

And I was going to treat him like he was yummier than warm apple pie on a chilly fall day. I smiled, hoping I didn’t look like a jackal while doing it. I’d have to hope his bloodthirsty ego was so desperate to be propped up that he’d believe my act.

“I’m actually glad you called me. I wanted to have a chat with you— alone .” I walked over, forcing myself to get closer than I’d ever want to, all the way to behind his desk, sitting on the corner of it. I crossed my legs, letting the hem of my skirt rise, showing considerable leg.

His eyes warmed just as I’d hoped.

“And why is that? What did you want to talk about?” He eyed me up like a hyena with a hank of raw meat in front of him.

“I feel like we don’t need to be in such an adversarial relationship. That maybe we could even be friendly?”

“And how is that when you killed my father?” He was still smiling as he asked.

He hadn’t mourned his father for a second. He’d been put out over the shock that I’d done it so effortlessly, but mad? He might’ve been secretly happy. He hadn’t wasted any time in moving into his father’s quarters and seemed to relish taking up the mantle of his control. I’d mourned enough people in my life to see the signs of someone devoid of feelings, even if they were good at locking them down.

So if his reason for mentioning it wasn’t anger, the only reason he’d bring it up was leverage. That might’ve worked if I felt bad. I refused to hold on to any guilt over ending the life of the man who’d been behind the death of most of the world. I certainly wouldn’t feel bad for his son, who didn’t care.

“I didn’t want to kill your father. Death was acting through me. I’m as much a victim of that situation as you,” I said, trying to sound pouty. It wasn’t a tone I typically employed.

“What kind of friendlier relationship did you imagine we could have?” He raised his hand and trailed a finger from my ankle up to my knee, nausea swelling.

“Maybe what you want aligns with what Death wants? I could see if something can be worked out.” I shifted, leaning a bit to the side, watching his eyes take in my every move.

“You think you could arrange something like that?” he asked, his eyes glued to me.

“I can’t make any promises, but I’d be willing to try.”

The men in the hall approached, saving me from having to extricate myself.

“You’re about to get company.” I jerked my head toward the noise. “But we’ll have time to talk soon?”

He smiled and nodded.

I made my way upstairs to my bedroom, afraid even the roof might be occupied. My plan of being alone didn’t last long.

You disappeared again last night, Death said.

“Did I?” I didn’t even turn around to greet her, but stared out the window, looking at the rolling hills. At least the view was beautiful.

I know where you went. Don’t cross me. You won’t like what happens.

Did she? The way that situation was going, I didn’t know if it was worth hiding anymore. Charon had turned out to be far from the savior I’d hoped.

“What? Like getting dragged to Scotland and then abandoned on enemy ground? Something like that?” I asked.

You’re stuck here because you didn’t perform the way you were supposed to, and you won’t be leaving until I’m ready. Death’s voice echoed in my mind and the air around me seemed to freeze.

I refused to let fear control me, and I’d been getting a lot of training lately. Slowly, I turned to face Death, meeting the strange, dark gaze that I so often avoided. “I killed the person responsible for the death of most of the world. The debt is paid,” I said, keeping my voice steady, though my hands trembled slightly at my sides.

You agreed to kill whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted, Death said. You don’t get to walk away until I say so .

“I promised you vengeance and you got it. And I’m telling you it’s enough,” I replied, my voice growing firmer with each word. “I’ve done enough.”

You don’t tell me when it’s enough! You belong to me until I say that debt is paid. Don’t put too much faith in Charon to get you out of our deal.

So it wasn’t just a guess. She knew .

I must’ve flinched when she said his name, because she then zeroed in on me with an intensity that was chilling.

You thought I wouldn’t find out? she said. I’m stronger than him. More powerful. Of course I did. He’s no match for me, and if you try to align with him, you will regret it. The shadows around her seemed to thicken, the entire room growing darker. You think Charon will protect you? He’ll turn on you the moment it suits him. You don’t know him like I do.

She was wrong about a couple things. First, he’d already come close to killing me. There was no loyalty there, and I was under no delusion of protection.

Second, did she really think threatening me with regrets was going to sway me? I woke every morning under a mountain of regret. Sometimes it felt so heavy I wasn’t sure how I’d get out of bed. But living life, making decisions, was to court regrets. I was beginning to think a successful life wasn’t always making the right choices, but maybe making just enough good ones, and from the right place, that in the end I’d break even.

You want to get out of here alive with Kicks, you do what I say, she said, and then she vanished.