Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Kicks had left, off on some other job that would take him away from the estate for the day. Every morning when he left, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe until he returned, knowing that the people he was out with could stab him in the back at any moment. But it was better to get moving and keep myself busy than sit there and worry.

Before I turned, I could sense Death’s appearance in the room.

I couldn’t feel you for a while yesterday. Where did you go?

Had Charon taken me to a plane of existence she couldn’t sense? I tried to keep myself calm, my heartbeat even. Luckily, I was always slightly agitated when she was around, so as long as I was somewhat normal, it was believable.

“How would I know why you couldn’t sense me? I don’t know how your magic works.” I threw my hands up, making a huffing noise. If she did notice a spike in my heartbeat, maybe she’d file it under annoyance.

Either way, I avoided the truth, never dipping into an outright lie in case that led to some sort of slip. Kicks could always sense if I lied, so it wasn’t a huge leap to think she might be able to as well. I couldn’t take any chances of her finding out about Charon becoming a possible ally. That was if he didn’t kill me first.

How did you hide from me? She narrowed her eyes, stalking me as I walked to the other side of the room.

“You know I can’t leave this castle on my own. How am I supposed to explain something that is a mystery to me?” I almost wanted to pat myself on the back for that little piece of creativeness.

If I find out you’re playing games, you will pay. The temperature in the room dropped.

“I’m aware,” I said.

She gave me a last hard glare, the room becoming nearly freezing. Then she was gone as suddenly as she’d appeared and hadn’t said one word about my having sex with Kicks. Had she not sensed it? Had there been some sort of lag, where she’d been cut off from me for the day?

I hurried up, getting dressed and looking to get out of the room. Death seemed less likely to show up when there were others around. At the very least, she didn’t expect me to speak to her when they were around, and I’d take it.

I headed downstairs, going through my usual ruse of gathering cleaning props to walk around with as I cased the place. No one seemed to care what I did most of the time as long as they didn’t have to speak to me.

I’d only been pretending to clean for fifteen minutes when Varic’s men headed down the hall toward me. Their guns weren’t drawn but their hands were real twitchy. Looked like it was going to be another fun day. I’d been waiting for this. After all, Varic had said I only had a few days to get back to him after his last ultimatum. I’d thought I could draw it out longer, but it didn’t seem to be the case.

As I turned to fully face them, my wolf was suddenly beside me growling, not that they knew.

Samson, the blond-haired oaf who’d taken Dicon’s place, opened his mouth to speak. I didn’t give him the opportunity.

“I know. Varic wants to see me. Where is the charmer?”

“In his rooms.” Samson scowled, clearly unhappy that he wasn’t going to get the opportunity to boss me around a bit.

I turned and headed past them to the upstairs, catching a glimpse of his hand going to his gun. I wasn’t going through this shit again.

“You poke me and it won’t end well for you,” I said.

I wasn’t sure if he’d planned on replying because my wolf nipped the back of his leg. Samson turned around, giving his companion a glare. “What the fuck did you do that for?”

“I didn’t do shit.” The guy threw his hands up but squinted at Samson’s leg as if trying to figure out the situation himself.

“So my pants ripped on their own?” Samson said.

“I didn’t fucking do it,” his companion said with much more heat.

I continued upstairs while they continued to yell at each other. “I can handle it from here, boys. No bother to interrupt your bitch-fest.” I continued to walk down the hall toward Varic’s door, not sure if they realized I was gone.

“Come in,” Varic said as soon as I got to the door.

“You wanted to speak to me?” I asked as I walked in, my invisible wolf beside me. I shut the door, wanting to make it as awkward as possible for his goons to join. It was unclear how hard Varic would push this situation, so the lower the headcount, the better.

He leaned back behind his desk, smiling, his moves as orchestrated as usual. His constant need to put on an act might’ve been his worst trait, or at the least his most irritating.

His eyes ran over me. “I’ve always viewed humans as inferior, but I have to say, there’s something special about you. I can see why my brother is taken with you.”

Yeah, there was that special word, and he thought he was flattering me.

“I’m not special at all.” My voice was flat and as exciting as a mud puddle.

There was a fine line here that was near impossible to walk, somewhere between not shutting him down completely but also not giving in. If I moved wrong and he called my bluff, he’d find out I didn’t even have a pair of deuces.

“Things don’t have to be bad between us. You just need to cooperate. That’s all,” he said with a shrug.

“Or you’ll kill me?” I asked, trying to keep my tone calm. “Go ahead. I’d like to see you try.” The way I saw it, we were playing a game of chicken, seeing who’d veer off first. I couldn’t afford to let him see any more weakness, even if that meant we’d be crashing into each other.

He smiled again as if this just amused him. “You’re not scared of much, are you? Or not for yourself, anyway. You think you’re invincible, but you aren’t. I’ve made a lot of calls and done a lot of digging. The things you’ve done, how you went crazy when you thought my brother was dead. So even if you don’t want to cooperate for you , you might want to do this for him and that little brother of yours.”

Don’t panic. Don’t let my heart rate rise. He was probably bluffing about Charlie. He was too far from his reach. At least, that was what I repeated in my head. I wished I could believe he wouldn’t kill Kicks, that he wouldn’t do that to his brother, but I’d known the second I met him that he was the exact type that would.

“I think it’s time for you to talk. Why did you kill my father and how?”

Screw it. Why not tell him the truth? He knew I’d killed his father. Maybe if I could get him to believe my true situation, it might benefit me. At this point, would it really hurt?

“He pissed off a very powerful creature when he killed off most of the world’s population,” I said.

Emotions ran across his face, but the one I’d been watching for, shock, didn’t seem to be in the mix. He might not have had a hand in it, but he must’ve known or suspected something.

“I gave you an answer,” I said. “Now you tell me something. What did you know about what your father was doing?”

“I knew he was messing around with some dark arts,” he said, seeming genuinely solemn for once. “Now you. How did you kill him?”

“Something happened when I was turned into a guide. It allowed me to kill with a touch. But then Death got involved and I became more lethal. She’s mighty pissed off about what has happened.”

His gaze narrowed on me. “Death?”

He didn’t believe me, but I hadn’t expected this to go easy. “Yes. Death. The Grim Reaper? The taker of souls?”

“You’ve got to be bullshitting me,” he said, laughing.

“I’m not.” I shrugged.

Death appeared, sitting on the corner of his desk, staring at him while I stared at her. What was she doing here?

I’m bored, she said, and then did one of her weird shrugs. I also don’t like being laughed at . She glared at Varic with such coldness that he probably would’ve peed his pants if he could see.

“Do you plan on helping me out with this?” I said.

“What are you talking about?” Varic asked.

“Death is here, sitting on your desk, looking at you.” It was strange how easy that was to say to him. I’d stressed for weeks over coming clean to Kicks, but I didn’t give a shit what Varic thought of me. If he thought I was a freak, no skin off my bones. Maybe it would freak him out enough he’d throw me to the curb and end this situation.

“Bullshit,” he said, but he didn’t sound confident.

“You know your father killed off most of the world and yet this you don’t believe? Fine. I’ll prove it to you. Death, give me something.”

There was a gleam in her eye. She wanted to scare him. Was reveling in the opportunity to do it. That’s why she was here.

Tell him that you know about the girl in town he raped when he was fourteen.

And I’d thought I hated him before.

“You raped a girl in town when you were fourteen.”

He told her that if she said a word to anyone, monsters would come and kill her entire family that night. Then he shifted in front of her so she’d be so terrified she’d never say a word .

I repeated what Death said, sick to my stomach at what I had to discuss. I wasn’t the only one looking a little green around the gills. Varic lost all the color in his face.

“Where did you hear such a lie?” he asked, but his tone was soft and he leaned away from the desk

“You don’t want to admit it, that’s fine. That part I can at least understand. But let’s not keep going. I’m sure whatever she tells me next won’t be any easier to stomach,” I said.

It won’t, Death agreed.

“You want out of here? Then I want to know what you can do. I want your power,” Varic said.

“I can’t give it to you. That’s not how it works.” This guy wasn’t just a psychopath but an idiot. I couldn’t even get it back, let alone give it to him.

“Tell Death to give it to me.”

No, she said, her face scrunched in disgust. It was the only human expression she’d ever nailed.

“I can’t give it to you, and she won’t.” This was one line I was grateful I couldn’t cross. To give an animal like this the abilities I had? Who would be left? Was this what their father had been like? These same murderous tendencies? The picture was becoming clearer every day, and all I wanted was away from this cesspool.

“You want them to live, you’ll figure it out,” he said.

“It’s not my choice,” I said, glad that I had an out. “I can’t do anything that Death won’t allow.” That wasn’t altogether a sure thing, but it worked for the moment.

I glared at Death, wondering why of all the people she was intent on killing, she’d left this one alone.

He wasn’t part of it, and I’m on the fence with him . I might be able to use him for something, she said, guessing my thoughts. She couldn’t read them, at least not with regularity, or I’d already be screwed.

“I want your abilities. If you can’t give them to me, then I want to use them through you.”

“Again, not my call,” I said.

We stared at each other, both knowing we were at an impasse, neither of us comfortable pushing any harder.

“You can go. I’ll let you know when I need you,” he said.

I took it for what it was: a call for a stalemate.

I climbed the stairs up to the rooftop to find Aunt Elara leaning by the railing. She jerked quickly in my direction. The tension in her frame eased as soon as she spotted me.

“I was hoping you’d come up here,” she said as I made my way over to her.

I hadn’t wanted company, but I couldn’t very well run away now that she’d seen me. Of all people to get stuck with, though, she was the most bearable.

I leaned on the half wall, looking out at the ocean. “Just needed some air.”

“I saw them calling you. I know how Varic can be.” She put a hand on my arm.

“It was fine,” I said, refusing to let anyone know how much I hated this place. Plus, it wasn’t just Varic. He was only one broken spoke on this screwed-up wheel. It was juggling him, and along with Death and now Charon, that was bringing me to my breaking point.

I watched her out of the corner of my eye, saw her face etched with lines that weren’t just from age.

“Why do you stay here?” I asked. I’d already come clean with Varic. There was nothing left to fear as far as secrets, and I wasn’t sure I cared either way at the moment. “We’re going to leave here. I don’t know how yet, but I’m getting us out of here. You can come if you want.”

She shook her head, looking out at sea. “I can’t leave these people.”

“You stay here, he’s going to get worse and worse.” She had to know that, though. I couldn’t imagine it had been much better under their father.

She shrugged, looking like someone who was used to walking around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. “I know who Varic is, but this place is my home, and these are my people. I can’t leave them if there is any good I can do.”

“I don’t want to hurt you by saying this, but what help can you give them?” I wanted to shake the woman until her teeth rattled.

“Sometimes Varic will listen to me, and the others will as well. Sometimes I can sway them in small but meaningful ways.”

Varic would have to die before anyone’s life here improved, but it wasn’t my place to make her choice. Lord knew I’d made enough blunders of my own.

She didn’t say any more, and I held my tongue. I had too many problems to take on a fight for someone who didn’t want to fight themselves.

We fell into a comfortable silence as we both looked out at the sea.