27. Emily

TWENTY-SEVEN

EMILY

I knew going to someone to open up my memory was going to be hard, but I never thought it would break me more than I already am. Did I hurt children? Did I help them take children?

Nitro kept telling me I didn't have a choice, it was to help my sister, but I still feel sick at the thought of how many children did I help them take?

We're booked in for another appointment tomorrow, Nitro told the doctor there were two things we wanted from the session, but he didn't want to tell her in front of me, because he thought I would over think it too much, I suppose in one way it is better.

So much seems to be happening a lot quicker now, and I think it's more the brothers are getting a little impatient about things, things I have no idea of.

I turn to the door, and smile when I see Nitro with his sexy smile walking in, I'm never going to get fed up of looking at him.

"We need to talk-" He leans down a little and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "-but first I need to know again, are you all in? And I mean no matter what happens from here, you're mine, and everything about me is never mentioned to anyone."

I lean back in his arm and look up into his eyes, what is with the doubt? I told him before I wasn't going anywhere so why does he think I will now?

"I'm all in, for as long as you will have me, and I will never breathe a word to anyone." I move my hands through the back of his hair, and he closes his eyes and I hear him mumbling something to himself, but can't make out what it is. "Nitro?"

"You might want to sit down." He removes his arms from around my waist, we both move to the couch, and I sit as close to him as he allows. He's not looking at me, and rolls up his joint, and my mouth goes dry as I wait.

"We're hunting for an organisation called The Gatekeepers. The four of us are going to find them, and kill each and every person linked with them. The four of us grew up together. We were thrown into a room together, black and Blue Eyes are brothers, blood brothers, and we're there when Black Eyes was about five, and Blue Eyes around three. Myself and Red Eyes, that's the only place we know. We didn't have a childhood outside them-" Nitro stops and takes his joint between his lip and lights it, and I'm not sure if I should talk or let him finish what he wants to tell me. "We all suffered in different ways, you only need to know mine. I believe you will be with me no matter what happens, but you need to know my demons, and how fucked up they make me."

I swallow the lump which is stuck in my throat. I already knew there was something haunting him, and I was going to ask him about it, but "I never knew when the best time was for that. Pulling on my sweatshirt sleeves I watch him as he takes in a few deep breaths, and then lets the smoke escape through his nose.

"They would pick us at random, sometimes Black Eyes or Red Eyes would protect us, sometimes it worked, and sometimes it didn't-" He stops for a moment, the scary Red Eyes man protected this man, I can understand their bond more. "-They would do some fucked up shit to us, abuse us not just physically, but sex...sexually, long story short. They would put us up for auction for people to buy us and do what they wanted, then give us back, then the Gatekeepers would have their fun." He shakes his head, deep in thought. "They found a way to have their own fun, but one thing they enjoyed and repeated was fire. They would throw me in a room full of fire, and let the flames get closer and closer to me, and well you've seen the scars." He finally stops, but I still don't know whether I should speak. If I should, what should I say?

What do you say to someone who has lived a life of nothing but hell. He hasn't seen or felt anything but hatred and pain. There are no words which I can say to him to make him feel anything, because I have a feeling he and his brothers have all learned to live with it.

"The fucked up thing here is, I now crave the fire to banish my demons. They're never gone for long, but it's the only thing I can do to get rid of them for a while to feel some sort of peace." He blunts out his joint and leans back on the couch, I take the chance to sit on his lap, and his hands move up and down my thighs. "You want to be with me, you're with my demons, you're with my brothers, and with a man who craves the burn of his skin more than you will know."

I lean forward, and brush my lips on his planting a small kiss as his hands move to my lower back.

"You are the most incredible man I've ever met, I thought I was broken, but today you've shown me they can't break us, they can only make us stronger. I'm with you, your brothers and your demons." I give him a kiss, and wait for him to kiss me back which he does, but then he pulls away quickly.

"Ready to meet my brothers?" he asks, and he smiles when my whole body tenses up. "We have rules, the four of us follow the rules, and one rule is we only tell a girl about our past if we all agree, so what do you say?" He brings his hands under my top. I know he's trying to relax me, but I'm not sure if it's working.

"Red Eyes trusts me?" I ask. If any one of them was going to make it hard for me, it's him.

"He trusts me, you can live with me, my brothers, even my demons, but can you live knowing you will always come after them?"

"Yes, I would never get in the way of the four of you, I understand why you're so tight, and for any woman to get in between that is not worth being with any of you." These four men did a lot for each other, they fought the horrible things going around them, and came out the other side. "Can I ask a question?" He nods, not breaking eye contact from me. "You said you know nothing but that place, but what about your parents?"

Nitro licks his lips, and doesn't say anything which makes me wonder if I've asked the wrong question.

"I don't know anything about them, Red Eyes, is looking into it for me, because I want to know why they gave me to the devil, I want answers."

"Why Red Eyes?" I'm not following now, why isn't he looking for himself, but the question gets a little chuckle from him.

"We all have our thing. But that can be saved for another day, because we have dinner to get too." He lifts me up wrapping my legs around his waist. "But first my dick has been hard since I laid eyes on your sexy face and legs." He kisses me, and slams the bedroom door shut behind him. "After tonight I get to fuck you in my bed, are you ready to play?"

"You have no idea how much." I have a feeling this man is into some R rated stuff, but how R rated can I take it is the question for me.

I pace the kitchen waiting for Nitro to get out of the bedroom from his shower. Why am I so nervous to meet his brothers, they've seen me so many times. Yet, I'm scared they still hate me, or don't trust me.

"Ready for some dinner?" I look up at Nitro putting his t-shirt on. "And then in the morning, I'm going to start sorting out your legs, and put some real art on you." Nitro gives me a kiss, and grabs his jacket. "I'll also come back over tonight and empty this place out."

"What?" I ask confused. Where am I meant to go?

"You're not living here anymore. You're living–"

"Wh-" I stop myself cutting him off quickly, and he shakes his head at me.

"You're moving in over there. The brothers don't need to wear the mask anymore, so welcome to the club." He opens the door for me, yet I stand where I am. "They don't bite, well one of them doesn't." He starts laughing, and pulls me out the door.

Am I excited about the fact I can start walking somewhere other than this apartment, and talk to other people, god yes I am.

"You only leave the house with one of us, after dinner we normally come to the pub for a bit, so let's get you back to having a life.

I look at the pub, and it's the first time I get to see the front of it, and it's an old pub, but I'm not going to judge it until I get inside.

Stopping in my tracks, I look at the two shops. "These yours?" I point to the bike and tattoo shop.

"Yes, I'll give you a tour later, come on I'm hungry." Nitro pulls me, and I start laughing. As much as he loves sex he needs to eat all the bloody time, I think if we didn't have dinner plans, I'm sure I'd still be in bed, with Nitro buried deep inside me.

Walking around the back of the shops, I look at the black car parked, and four bikes, and I press my lips together at the colour theme they have for the bikes. It matches their eye colour.

Nitro opens the door and I follow him in, still worried about this dinner. He takes my coat off me and hangs it on the side.

"Hey Nova, this is Emily." I look down at the dog who is staring at me, and smile as he comes closer to me, I give him a pat on the head and say hello.

I follow Nitro further into the house, and I see three men sitting at the table, and one woman, and I look at each man trying to figure out who is who.

"Say hello to, Nyx, Black Eyes, Tic, blue eye and Ares, Red Eyes." Nitro sits down, and pulls out a chair for me, but I can't take my eyes from Ares, he looks just as scary as I thought.

"Hey," I look over at the woman who narrows her brows at Nitro.

"Sorry Princess, this is Esha, Ares' girl." Nitro quickly corrects himself, and I say hello to her, shocked that Red Eyes has got a girl in his life.

"Hi, so nice to finally meet you, I'm Ares' wife, well not officially with the paperwork, but I am his wife." She looks over her shoulder and smiles at Ares who lets out a chuckle to himself.

"How long have you waited to say that to someone?" he asks her, and I press my lips together because I didn't think he could be nice like this.

"You have no idea, but whenever I go out and someone talks to me I tell them I'm married-"

"Who talks to you?" Ares cuts her off.

"When Jaya and I go to the bar, some guy-"

"And next time it happens you call me, so I can show them how taken you are," Ares snaps, and there is a little of the side I've been seeing.

I finally sit down next to Nitro who lights up a joint and hands it to Blue Eyes, who's name is Tic.

"So you break a part of his body, you're being silly. I don't have any interest in anyone but you. I'll go get dinner." Esha walks away from him and he watches her and shouts.

"You better fucking not either, because I will kill any man who touches you." Ares grabs his beer, and turns to Tic, taking a drag of his joint, and Nyx laughs.

"Welcome to the family," Nyx shakes his head and leans his elbows on the table. "Nitro told you about his past, we don't talk about it at the table, only behind closed doors do we talk about it."

"Got it," I whisper, because I've lost my voice.

"Going to the pub after?" Nitro asks, and they all nod.

I glance over at Esha plating up food, then turn back to the guys. Tic hands Nyx his joint and walks away from the table.

"You...you want...want help?" Tic stutters on the words, and I continue to watch him talking to Esha ticking a few times, and stuttering on his words. Now I know why he never spoke when he was at the apartment, it's an easy way to get noticed.

"You keep staring at him, it won't end up well for you, and a warning now, never touch him until he touches you." I hear Nitro and I bring my glance over to him. "There is nothing wrong with him, remember that." That's a warning not just from Tic but him too.

His brothers are number one for him, you hurt one of them you hurt all of them.

"Em...Emily would you...you like...wi...wine?" Tic asks me as he places my plate down for me.

"God yes," I smile, food and some wine. I feel like I'm out at a restaurant.

The three of them start laughing, and I look at Nitro telling them to fuck off, and I feel like I'm missing the joke here.

"Was that a preview?" Nyx jokes, and I now I get what they are laughing at.

"You'll never know the walls are soundproof." Nitro leans forward and grabs a beer from the middle, I look at Esha sitting down next to Ares, and he pulls her chair closer to him. The big mean man has a soft spot.

"What are they?" I point to the row of pads behind Ares and Nyx, and they all turn around to see what I'm pointing at.

"Notepads," Nyx answers.

Well that tells me not to ask about them, or Nitro will tell me himself after. I know they're not going to be open straight away.

I start eating my dinner, Tic starts laughing at his phone, and Esha looks over at what he's watching, and she smiles.

"Tom and Jerry," she tells me, and I smile as I watch Tic for a moment. These men are meant to be killers, how does that man kill anyone when he is ticking so much?

"Hello," I turn to Ares on his phone. "What time? Nyx will get her there for the doctor...Once we get the eye we can work on it." He ends the call, and takes a mouthful of his food. "We take the girl to the doctor tomorrow, and we get the eyes." He glances up at Nitro, and smirks to himself. "Looks like you won this round."

"Not sure why you doubted me, you kill then ask questions, I ask questions then kill." Nitro glances over at me, then continues to eat food. He protected me that night, he knew I was innocent.

Ares eats and reads one of the notepads, Tic watches cartoons on his phone, and Nyx and Nitro have a conversation about clients they have tomorrow, and I look around their home. Not what I would have pictured them living in, for some reason I thought they would be living in their own haunted house. Never judge a book by its cover, because these four men are nothing like the masks they wear, they are a family.

"Fuck," I hear Ares mummer to himself, then starts writing something down, then continues to read as he shakes his head. "I skipped a few pads, once I listened to the recording of the session this morning, I thought there might be something in here, and-" Ares turns the pad to Nitro, and I lean in closer to see if can make out whatever it is he's found out. "They got rid of a girl, drugged her, and put her in a car to make it look like an accident." He stops when Nitro puts his hand up and continues to read, but I stop because I'm not sure whether he's found something about me or not, so I wait.

"What?" Nitro looks up at Ares, and he nods his head. Nyx gets off his chair and walks over to Nitro and starts reading over his shoulder. "Your parents found you in the park, the organisation, they sent a picture of you in a park, and the address." Nitro slides the pad back to Ares, who continues to read.

"We need to find out why they got rid of her," Nyx is the first to speak about what they have just found out.

"Need to dig a little deeper, little tiger." Ares leans back in his chair, eyes locked with me. "Pop the door open a little wider."

"Ares don't be a prick," Nitro tells him which makes Ares laugh while still staring at me. "Question, they used her to get children, you think her sister is one of them?" Nitro leans back, lighting up a joint, and I watch Ares whispering something to Esha. Still can't get over the fact he has a girl. "Might be something to look int-"

"She...she might...be dead." Tic joins in on the conversation, and my whole body tenses up. She can't be dead, I've not been through all this, only for her to be dead.

I watch the four of them looking between each other, silent conversation it is then.

"Your call. I'll do what you want." Ares locks eyes with Nitro who takes a long drag of his joint, licking his lips slightly shaking his head.

"Do that first." The words come out so quietly, like he doesn't want to say them. Ares gives him a nod, then they all look at Nyx when his phone rings.

"Wes?" Not sure if it's a question to the guys, or a question to himself. "Hello," He answers and slides the phone in the middle of the table.

"Look into the commissioner."

"Wha-" Before Nyx can ask anything the line goes dead.

"Did he say commissioner?" Nyx looks at his brothers, who are still eating as they nod.

For a moment there is silence, as they eat their food, and I finish my wine, because fuck did I need it. Ares and Nyx are the first to finish as Nitro goes for seconds. God, they eat fast.

"Where are the files?" Ares asks. Nyx and Nitro walk away from the table, and I get back to my dinner and don't make eye contact with anyone.

"Do you think there is anything in the books about her sister?" I hear Esha's voice but I don't look up from my dinner.

"I'll keep reading them, and see if I can find any mention of her. I might not sleep tonight, because I want to spend some time looking into Nitro's parents." I glance over at Ares and Esha through my eyelashes, and Esha shakes her head.

"I know you don't sleep, but it will be two days with no sleep-" She leans in closer to him, running her hand through his long hair. "You'll burn out." And he starts laughing, and I don't know why, but it makes me smile.

"Well if I do burn out, you can be on top." Esha slaps his arm, shaking her head. "Fine, I'll be on top." He grabs the back of her neck to kiss her.

"You're an idiot." I hear the chair move next to me, and smile as Nitro sits back down.

"I've only looked through a few, the commissioner isn't on the files." He puts his files on the table, and Nyx adds his too, saying he hasn't found his name either.

Filling my glass with wine, I lean back in my chair, Nitro brings his arm over the back of it. He moves his fingers softly along my shoulder. The guys continue to talk about the files, and while I take the moment to just watch them all.

It might not be the family they were born into, but these four are stronger than any family I've ever met.