Chapter 44

44

REYA

S aveya lives up to her mother's praise, and she indeed plays the perfect drunk, staggering and waving a drink around in the air. She made me promise to be nowhere near when she staged her downfall, as she didn't want me implicated, so I watch from across the ballroom with amusement as she stumbles into one of the army generals and pours her drink all over him. Raegal swoops in looking displeased and reprimands her whilst apologising profusely to his comrade. He hands Saveya over to one of our teachers and then walks over to speak with Moryen and whispers in her ear and she disappears out of the room to no doubt change the details of the top five ready for the announcement. Raegal catches my eye from across the room and winks at me, causing me to smile back at him. I know he did this for me, because I begged him to, and it means everything to me. I frown when Shalia steps into his path and places her hand on his arm and he leans down to hear her speak. Who does she think she is touching him like that? Jealousy rushes through me and I'm thinking of how I'd very much like to yank her away from him when an arm appears at my elbow.

"Lets' dance, miss, before you box the lovely Shalia in the face."

Jasiel comes up beside me, holding out his hand to escort me onto the dancefloor. "She can talk to whoever she wishes to. I don't care."

Jasiel grins as he twirls me onto the floor. "Whatever you say, miss."

I frown at him. "I'm not bothered in the slightest."

He nods his head. "Good, then you won't mind that Raegal has just escorted her onto the dancefloor."

My eyes whip around to see him with his hand at her waist, dancing and conversing easily with her. I snort, forcing myself to turn away and focus on my dance partner. "It's pathetic the way she throws himself at him."

Jasiel chuckles. "She wouldn't be the first and she won't be the last. The ladies have always all made a beeline for our handsome commander."

I fight to keep the smile on my face. "And I'm sure he loves the attention,"

Jasiel pulls his face. "Actually, he doesn't. He never really cared for the attention. His focus was on being the best soldier he could be."

I nod my head in understanding. "Because he wanted to prove to himself after what happened with his brother?"

Jasiel rears his neck. "He told you about that. Well, I'll be damned." He smiles. "I'm glad he has confided in you. Raegal doesn't let many people close. He doesn't believe he's deserving of anyone's time or trust."

"I'm glad he has you to lean on, Jasiel," I say with a smile, glad that Raegal has had this man in his corner.

"I love him like my brother," he tells me, grinning as if he's remembering some fond memory of their friendship. "He's a good man, miss. I know you have your preconceptions based on the rumours about him. But underneath his ruthless fa?ade, he's a good man with a good heart."

I nod my head, my eyes trailing after the man himself. He catches my eyes over the top of Shalia's head, and he stares back at me with a hunger in his in eyes. "Trust me, miss. He'd dance with you all night if he could, but duty commands he spend time with all the chosen females."

The dance ends and Jasiel bows to me and kisses my hand. "Okay, you've pawed her long enough," Raegal says to his friend as he comes up behind me and places a hand at my waist. "My turn." He spins me around to face him, and I flush at his nearness.

"And what if I don't want to dance with you?" I ask with little conviction behind my words.

His answer is to smirk and take my hand in readiness for the next song. "We both know whose arms you belong in, Terror."

"So sure of yourself, Lord Commander," I reply teasingly, and he looks down at me with a carefree smile on his face. One I have only ever seen him give when in mine or Jasiel's company. My heart flutters in my chest at that smile. Oh gods, I think I'm falling for him.

"What?" he asks, studying my confused face.

"Nothing," I say, plastering on an amiable smile. "Nothing at all." But inside I'm panicking. I can't be falling for him, not when my part in the rebels' plans will betray him so deeply. "Tell me of your favourite place from home," I urge him, needing to distract my brain from its spiralling.

Raegal frowns as he considers my question. "My favourite place would have to be the lake where my brother and I would swim and fish together every summer. I'll take you to see it sometime."

I fight to keep the smile on my face even though I know I'll never get to see it because I won't be going to the Shadow Realm as his chosen. The rebels will hide me far away from here as part of our deal. I will finally get my freedom, a chance to carve my destiny. But what if this man before me is my destiny? If what he tells me is true, then the gods chose me to be his true blessed mate. Maybe my fate is to be with him and work to have better rights for my people.

"You're awfully quiet, Terror. It makes me wonder what you're plotting in that head of yours," he says with an amused grin, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Why, your downfall, of course," I reply with a wink. He laughs aloud, causing some of the other couples on the floor to look our way.

"If you're to be my downfall, Terror, then I couldn't think of a better way to go. I'd risk it all for a chance to know you again."

I gulp. Who is this man and what has he done with the gruff and abrupt man I met months ago? The song ends and for a few seconds neither of us notice until a bell ring across the ballroom and Moryen announces it is time to reveal the top give girls. Raegal takes my hand and raises it to his lips, before he leaves me to join Moryen on the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen. The time has come that we have been waiting for. As you know, the chosen ones have been with me and my ladies at the mansion undergoing preparation for when they do us the great honour of taking a husband from one of the many of our fine men. We are eternally grateful for the gift they give us in ensuring our people will continue on and that our race will survive. In exchange for this, we promise to protect your districts and ensure the prosperity and growth of your crops. Now, as with tradition, at each reaping, the five top scoring females are selected for the elite members of our society, often with men of the royal household or our political elite. The girls ranking in the top five have shown a level of dedication and aptitude in all areas of their teaching and are worthy of the position of a marriage within our elite." Moryen takes the scroll that a server holds out to her on a gold platter and unrolls it to a room silent with anticipation. I look around the room at my fellow shadow kissed who all watch with a mix of excitement and hope.

"The following young ladies have made it into the top five cohort. Shalia Willowshine, Tyria Havencrag, Eilana Dewstone, Melara Pewgrain, and Eretreya Lockwood. Congratulations, ladies."

Tyria reaches for my hand as she passes me, tugging me up to the stage as the other girls also make their way forward from across the room. We climb the steps to the raised platform, and the crowd breaks out into a round of applause and cheers. This is what I have been working for. I should be happy, but inside I'm a knot of unease and anxiety. I plaster a smile on my face and applaud my fellow students.

"Ladies and gentlemen." Raegal steps forward to address the crowd. "I would also like to offer my thanks to the ladies standing before you and the ladies out there across the room. We know they sacrifice much to take up their place within our realm, often never seeing their families again, as someone pointed out to me recently. Mothers and fathers lose their daughters and brothers and sisters, their siblings, and it has therefore been decreed by our good king that our Shadow Kissed females shall return to Asen twice a year to visit their families and loved ones."

My heart stutters and the noise around me fades away as I struggle to comprehend this. Tyria reaches over and pulls me into a hug, tears dripping down her face. "Reya! Did you hear that? We get to see our families again!" I nod my head, patting her back as my eyes connect with Raegal's. He looks at me as he applauds the news, along with the rest of the attendees.

‘Thank you,' I mouth to him, and he nods his head in acknowledgement.

I know right there and then that he did this for me. He listened when I petitioned at the unfairness of the sacrifices we make, and not only did he enable us to have weekly contact with our families whilst at the mansion, but now we will see our families every year and get to come home. I fight the urge to walk over there and kiss him; and for the first time in a long time, a tear falls down my face as I allow myself to show vulnerability.

‘It was all for you, Terror. You must know this. I'd reshape the world for you.'

I jerk back in shock when I realise he said those words directly into my mind, clutching at the pendant at my neck for something to ground me.

‘ Did you just?' I ask in my head, doubting that he will hear my words.

He nods at me from across the stage and I gasp again. It is true. He really is my true mate. Moryen ushers us off the stage and instructs the orchestra to start up the music again. I stumble through some balcony doors to get some fresh air.

I turn the instant I feel his presence and stride over to him, then reach up on my tiptoes to kiss him with every ounce of my being. He wraps a hand around my waist while his other goes to the base of my neck as he holds me in place.

"Thank you," I whisper against his lips.

"I did what was right. You were right, Terror. We expect so much of you all and just expect you to walk away from those you love and care for. You helped me see things clearly and for that I thank you for opening my eyes to what I was blind to."

"Raegal?"

"Yes, Terror."

"Take me to your room," I command as I reach for him again and press my lips against his. I feel his shadows whip around our feet, and they caress my skin as they take us away to the privacy of his room. We fall onto the bed; a tangle of limbs and I pull at his clothes, eager for them to be off.

"Patience, Terror. We have all night." He smirks as he tugs off his jacket, his lips barely leaving mine.

"I want you now," I tell him, tugging roughly at the fastenings on his shirt, and moaning when my hands find his bare skin. His shadows pull at the hooks on the back of my dress, and I feel each one pop open. He climbs off me and pulls me to my feet as his shadows pull my dress down to pool at my feet. Raegal growls deeply as he drinks me in standing in nothing but my birthday suit.

"You are breathtaking. The gods gifted me the most beautiful woman in all the realms," he says in awe, his eyes savouring me. I watch with bated breath as his shadows make fast work of his clothes. My eyes take a slow appreciation of his body. He is impossibly perfect. The ultimate masculine form, almost God-like. "Come here, Terror," he commands, beckoning me forward with his fingers. I walk slowly to him, and he reaches for me, cupping the back of my neck, running his lips like a whisper over mine and I chase after them. "Patience, Terror. I plan to kiss and worship every inch of you. You are the goddess I bow to now." He pushes me gently back onto the bed and I lie with my feet dangling over the edge. Raegal drops to his knees and parts my thighs and then he smirks at me as he lowers his mouth to my core. I arch up off the bed as his tongue caresses me. I grasp for his hair, and he growls deeply in approval when I tug on it. Mother Goddess, what is this magic? I buck and grind and moan as he tastes me, working me up to a euphoric high. I tug on his hair, pushing him closer.

"Raegal," I whisper, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as I come apart, shattering into a thousand pieces, as his only focus is on giving me pleasure.

"You are never more beautiful, Terror, than when you are coming undone and moaning my name like I'm your saviour," he tells me, as he brushes the hair off my face and peppers my neck with soft, delicious kisses. "I need to be inside of you, my little Asen," he confesses as he encourages me further up the bed, stalking after me like a lion hunting its prey. He settles between my legs and, not taking his eyes off me, lines himself up with my centre.

He enters me slowly, and I arch my back as he fills me. There is nowhere I'd rather be than here with this man. I grip onto his shoulders, and we stare into each other's eyes as he moves with a slow and purposeful pace. He leans his face closer and kisses me tenderly and I reach up to cup his face with my hands. His body surrounds me, his shadows cocooning us in our own world. I could stay here like this forever. This feels different. This doesn't feel like fucking. It feels like something more. He takes my hands and places them above my head, then places his in mine, controlling the pace. I writhe beneath him, lost in the feel of him. His shadows caress my breasts and stroke up the back of my neck, leaving a ripple of pleasure behind. I feel him everywhere, surrounding me, filling me, loving me. I arch my back as I reach my climax and moan his name, and Raegal watches me, enraptured, whispering how beautiful I look when I come for him. His hips move with hurried purpose as he builds to his climax, and he utters my name as he spills his seed inside me. It's perfect. We kiss each other softly as we catch our breath and recover.

"I can't wait to make you mine and to take you to my home," he confesses, brushing my hair from my face and smiling down at me. "You make me believe in the possibility of happiness for the first time in a long time."

"You deserve every happiness, Raegal."

In this moment I realise I can't be a part of the rebellions plans. I can't betray him. He has done nothing but prove to me that he isn't the man I accused him of being. I let my prejudice and my mother's hatred blind me. He makes me feel alive and safe.

"I'll prove to you I'm worthy of you, Eretreya," he vows before we both drift off into a blissful sleep.

I wake hours later to find him sleeping soundly beside me. I study him, drinking him in and memorising this moment. A tear falls as I think of walking away from him. Of never seeing him again and I realise, in the night's quiet, that I am falling in love with him. I don't know when it happened. From the minute we first met, I was drawn to him, but I started falling for him with every gesture of kindness he showed me and every act he did to make things better for me and my fellow shadow kissed. I don't want to turn away from my destiny anymore. I want to run headfirst into its embrace and trust that this is meant for me. But will he still want me when he finds out I've plotted and schemed against him and betrayed his trust?