Chapter 43

43

REYA

I stare in the mirror at the girl looking back at me. I don't recognise her. Despite the seamstress having already made me a dress, a soldier delivered another dress to my rooms tonight. As soon as I opened it; I knew it was from him. The skirt of the dress is black organza layered over a plum satin with layers of tulle underneath, and silver sparkles glistening through. The bodice is fitted and made from a black lace floral design that dips low into a deep neckline between my breasts with an open illusion back. It contrasts against my almost white-blonde hair and brings out the lighter shades of my purple eyes. Orna has done an amazing job with my hair, curling and pinning it so it falls over one shoulder, glistening with small diamante star clips through the back. The dress also came with a jewellery box, which held a small amethyst and obsidian tear drop necklace and matching earrings. Even I have to admit the finished result is beautiful. Tonight, they will announce the top five girls. We haven't been privy to our scores for the last week, so I don't know if I've made it, but thanks to Raegal and Saveya I have aced my dancing and sewing tasks these last few weeks, and I always come out on top in our combat classes. Every girl here is vying for a top five spot, well everyone apart from the two girls who were kidnapped. Despite their lack of preparation for their new roles and their lives in the shadow realm they will still be part of the reaping and will take a husband.

I make my way to our communal lounge, and smile when I see my fellow dorm mates. Saveya is wearing a pink ball gown which accentuates her small waist, and her hair is flowing loosely in waves down her back with a pretty tiara adoring her head. She squeals in excitement when she sees me.

"Wow, wow, wow!" She gushes as she rushes over to me and, taking my hands in hers, she steps back to get a good look at my dress. "Reya, you resemble a deity. Tyria, doesn't she look stunning?" she asks our friend, stepping backwards and allowing Tyria to see me.

"Girl, you are divine," Tyria grins. "I'd one hundred percent choose you at the reaping if I was a Shadow Borne male."

"Everyone looks so gorgeous," I say, glancing over at Imrie in her silver gown, and Alora in her lemon-coloured dress.

"I'm so excited!" Saveya grins. "I can't wait to see everyone in their finery." To everyone in the room, she looks like she's excited and hopeful to likely be in the top five, but I know different. Behind the smiles, she is a bundle of nerves about being in the top five, because now, of course, it's the last thing she wants. Her beau, Eryx, has applied to be one of the shadow men who can choose a wife at the reaping. They put those of the lower casts of their society into a draw, and it really comes down to pure luck if he is selected or not. Despite this, she is still smiling and still one of the most uplifting people I know. It's hard to stay in a bad mood when Saveya is around, as she instantly makes you smile.

"Just wait until your handsome commander sees you in this dress," Saveya whispers in my ear, giggling.

I roll my eyes at her but can't help the smile that breaks out on my face. "The dress is a gift from him."

Saveya swoons, fanning herself. "My, he knows how to dress a woman to show off all her best assets. You will be the most beautiful woman there tonight."

"Stop," I say, batting away her comment with my hand. "Will Eryx be there tonight?" I ask her and her smile drops, and she shakes her head.

"Sadly not. He's not of high enough rank to attend."

I pull her into my arms and hug her as tightly as I can without messing up her hair. "I'm so sorry, Saveya."

"Oh, there's no need for you to be sorry. We are going to enjoy ourselves tonight, drinking and dancing."

"We should get going, we don't want to be late," Tyria suggests, reaching for her purse and ushers us all towards the door.

"Nonsense," Saveya protests. "Being late enables us to make a grand entrance and ensure everyone notices us."

"Darling." Tyria grins. "Have you seen how delicious we all look? Trust me, every set of male eyes will be upon us when we enter that room."

However, when we walk through those doors a few minutes later, there's only one set of eyes I want to feel on me, and I search the busy ballroom for him after they announce us. My eyes scan the crowd until I feel that familiar tingle at my wrist. It's like time stands still when I find him across the room. He drinks me in from head to toe, swallowing deeply, his eyes burning with desire. Raegal, of course, is the epitome of male beauty and masculinity in his military dress uniform, with an array of medals pinned to his jacket pocket. My heart pounds in my chest and I fight the urge to go straight to him, and instead I allow Saveya to tug me along in the opposite direction.

"Ladies, you all are shining tributes to the staff and I tonight," Moryen says as she walks over, and her assessing eyes fall upon each of us. She wears the navy and gold colours of her realm in a silk gown that clings to her hips and swirls out into a fishtail skirt. "Best behaviour tonight," she adds, and I roll my eyes when she focuses her stare my way. "Eretreya, if I could request a moment of your time."

Saveya clears her throat and, giving me wide eyes, informs me they will be over by the banquet table. I watch them leave, wishing they weren't leaving me alone with her, before I straighten and plaster on my best smile.

"Mistress."

"I just wanted to say that since you came to the mansion, you have perhaps changed the most out of all my girls. I thought you were a lost cause when you first arrived with your insistence on wearing trousers all the time and your inability to keep your opinions to yourself, but you have proven me wrong. You worked hard at your classes and, well, I hope whichever shadow male chooses you at the ceremony knows what a force of nature he has the honour to call his wife." She leans into my ear. "Don't let anyone ever dull that fire in you, young lady." She winks at me and then walks away, leaving me gob smacked and lost for words. I grab a drink from a passing server and take a large sip. Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that. Guilt slithers through me at the knowledge that the only reason I began to make an effort is because I need to get into the top five, so that I can stick a dagger into the heart of their precious prince and heir.

"Excuse me, but may I have the honour of your first dance?"

I smile. I'd know that voice anywhere. I turn to find him standing before me. Gods, up close, he looks even better. I drink him in from head to toe, and the moment our eyes meet I instantly forget there's anyone else in the room.

He fights a smirk and leans in to kiss my cheek. "You look ravishing, Terror. And that dress. It is perfect for you. If I had my way, I'd be stripping you out of it right now and showing you just how much I want to worship that delectable body it covers."

My breath quickens at his words, and I smile politely at a dignitary and his wife as they pass us and raise their glass in greeting. I yearn to reach out and touch him and tell him I'd like nothing more than for him to whisk me away and do exactly as he promised.

"Lord Commander, you shock me with your wicked words. According to Moryen, I'm almost passable as a lady now."

He chuckles in my ear as he pulls away, and it sends shivers of anticipation down my spine. "Thank you for the dress and the jewellery," I say, my hand touching at my neck to check the new crystal necklace is still there.

"You're welcome. I am just sorry I couldn't find your mother's pendant, but I had this specially made to incorporate both amethyst and obsidian just as the one your mother gave you did, to hopefully lessen the loss" he says sincerely. The orchestra starts up a lively tune in the background and Raegal bows his head and offers out his hand. "Shall we?"

I slip my hand into his and his touch sends a flurry of excitement through my body as we make our way to the dancefloor. There are a lot more Shadow Borne here tonight, and I can't help but wonder if any of them are going to be choosing wives at the reaping. Raegal places his hand at my waist and takes my other hand in his and we move across the floor. This time, I don't make a single misstep, and I don't constantly need to look down at my feet. Raegal grins at me. "I must commend you on your dancing skills. You must have an excellent teacher."

"Oh, he's a tyrant, but he was successful in his attempts to make an adequate dancer out of me." We both smile knowingly at each other. Without Raegal, I would have been a disaster tonight.

"Raegal, will you choose me at the ceremony?" I ask him. The question has been gnawing at me for days now. I realise that the thought of anyone else—a stranger—choosing me, leaves me feeling nauseous.

"Do you want me to choose you, Terror?" he asks, his silver-grey eyes burning into mine and setting my soul aflame.

I swallow. There is no point denying it. I want this man and if for any reason I don't escape at the reaping ceremony and I must give my soul to the Shadow Realm, then I'd rather it be his bed I wake up in each morning. "Yes, yes, I do."

He breaks out into a beaming smile. One that makes my heart quicken. "Eretreya, do you honestly think I'd allow any other man to claim you? You are mine. I don't deserve you. I certainly don't deserve a true blessed mate after the terrible sins I have committed, but I can't walk away from you…ever." I watch as a flicker of pain passes over his face when he talks about his terrible sins, and I know he is referencing his brother.

"Raegal, you did not kill your brother. You cannot hold yourself responsible for his death. You are allowed to live and enjoy life. I'm sure if he was able to, he would tell you he wants you to experience the very best of life. Forgive yourself, because I am sure he has already forgiven you."

I watch his conflicted face. He carries so much guilt and regret for what happened to his brother. "You were children. You could never have known that the choices made would lead to his death; whether it was because of your jealousy or not."

He swallows deeply and glances around the room. As the song ends, he tucks my arm into the crook of his and weaves us through the crowd and out through a side door into the gardens. I allow him to pull me along as he takes us down a path that leads to a walled garden.

"Raegal, where are we-"

He pins me up against the wall and capturing the back of my neck with his hands; he places his lips on mine and kisses me with such passion and need. I moan into the kiss and kiss him back, pressing my hands to his chest and feeling his heart pounding against his rib cage.

"Gods, woman. You will be the death of me. You make me want that life you say I deserve," he confesses between kisses.

"You deserve it. I was wrong, so wrong, Raegal. You are a good man. You saved me so many times. I wanted to hate you, but you have made it impossible," I say, returning his kisses with equal fervour.

"Come on, this way." We both jerk apart as Saveya and Eryx come running around the corner, kissing and giggling like two carefree lovers. Everyone stills as we all take in each other and the uncompromising situation we find ourselves. Saveya stares at me with wide eyes as she untangles herself from Eryx and the reality of this situation hits home. Eryx's eyes flit wildly between Saveya and Raegal.

"What is this?" Raegal demands, stepping forward with his shadows leaking from his hands.

I jump in front of him and place my hand on his chest. "Raegal, just hold up. Let's not jump to conclusions here."

"Conclusions!" Raegal snorts. "I think we all can see they are lovers."

Saveya steps forward and pulls her shoulders back. "You're right, My Lord. We are lovers." Eryx panics and tries to cover her mouth. "Stop! Eryx. They caught us. We may as well be truthful with him." She takes Eryx's hand in hers and smiles at him and he gulps nervously. "The truth is we are in love. He is the man I want to spend my life with and I'm sorry if it breaks the rules. I'm sorry if some random, entitled stranger wants to select me at the reaping, but I love him, and I won't stop loving him because your rules say I should."

For a second Raegal is silent, and then he turns his eyes on me. "Did you know about this?"

I flinch, and he swears under his breath.

"You know this isn't allowed, Terror. Did you encourage this?

I narrow my gaze at him and prod his chest with my finger. "No, I did not encourage it. I only found out recently." I place my hands on his chest. "Look at them Raegal. They're in love. And at least he's not an Asen, so she'll still pop out your precious shadow babies," I say with a hopeful smile.

"This isn't a smiling matter, Reya. This is serious," he retorts, glaring at me.

"Begging your pardon, Lord Commander, but well," Eryx pauses and fidgets with his jacket. "But aren't the two of you also breaking the rules?"

Raegal's eyes turn as black as night, and I grab hold of the lapels of his jacket. "Raegal, help them please, for me?"

His jaw tics as he glares at Eryx. "First, if you ever refer to Eretreya as ‘her' again, I will rip you to shreds. Second, the difference between our two situations is that I can choose her at the reaping." He shakes his head, and his gaze turns from one of anger to one of sympathy. "The chances of you getting a spot at the reaping are slim, Eryx. You know this. You are setting yourselves up for a world of heartache."

"I won't do it!" Saveya says firmly, stomping her foot on the ground. "If Eryx can't choose me, then I'll refuse."

"There is no option to refuse, Saveya!" Raegal says with a frustrated growl. "And I'll be left with no alternative except to enforce the rules."

"There must be a way," I say, clutching at his lapels and pleading with him. "You're the Lord Commander."

He looks down at me and sighs, running a hand through his dark locks. "You're in the top five, Saveya. Even if I worked miracles, I can't get a soldier into the top five suitors."

Saveya looks grief stricken. "What do I need to do to lose points with immediate effect?"

I gaze optimistically at Raegal, and he swears quietly to himself. "Make a scene in the ballroom. Pretend to be intoxicated and accidentally spill a drink on a senior officer.

"And then will I be knocked out of the top five?" Saveya asks, her eyes lighting up with a sliver of hope.

"I'll make sure of it, but Saveya, I have limited influence over the men chosen. I'll do what I can, but I can't make any promises."

She places her hands together in prayer. "Thank you," she says, bouncing over to him and reaching up to kiss him on the cheek, leaving Raegal stunned. "Okay, we should go. I have a scene to cause." She pulls Eryx to her by his army tunic and kisses him. "Go, my lover, I'll see you soon."

Eryx grins at her like a lovesick pup. "My love."

Saveya grins and watches as her man walks away, back to his barracks. She turns her gaze back to Raegal and I. "Well, are you coming back inside, or carrying on…you know…"

Raegal glares at her and I try to stifle my laughter, giving her a cautionary expression. She winks at me in response. "Go," I tell him. "We'll follow behind you." He offers Saveya a final scowl before he strides back towards the mansion.

"I'm sorry for getting you in trouble with your commander," she says as she links me by the arm, and we walk back towards the ballroom. "Oh, and there's a twig in your hair," she informs me, reaching out and plucking it from my curls.

"You let me worry about Raegal. You just concentrate on getting out of the top five," I suggest, and she nods her head, a determined expression on her face. "Mother always said I had a great flair for the dramatics."