Chapter 31

31

REYA

H e's gone the next morning when I wake up. I sit up in bed and run my fingers through my unruly hair. Last night was a stupid lapse of judgement. I must remember whose side I am on and remember who the enemy is. I can't stray from my path just because he is insanely handsome. And every time I indulge in him, hoping it will fan those flames, it doesn't. My desire for him only grows. Still annoyed with myself, I'm quiet when Orna comes in to help me get ready for the day. I head to the dining room to join the girls, but hesitate at the door. Saveya and the others are already here, chatting together as if they have been friends for years. My old insecurities raise their ugly head.

They'll never accept you.

Not pretty enough.

Not worthy.

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of this crippling fear. I'm debating whether to retreat to my room and ask for my breakfast to be brought there, when Saveya looks up and smiles at me.

"Reya! Come join us." She beckons me over with her hand and a genuine smile on her face. "Did you hear where we're going today?"

I breathe out a steadying breath and holding my head high; I stride into the room with a confidence I don't feel inside. "Where are we going? Are we leaving the valley?" I ask, intrigued. I long to see more of Asen.

Tyria pats the empty seat next to her. She looks pretty in a sapphire blue gown that compliments her dark skin tone "We're visiting the orphanage over in Florvisia. I've never been, but I've heard it's a beautiful town. There's supposed to be this breathtaking lake there that has healing properties. Perhaps we can persuade Moryen to take us there after we've seen the orphanage."

I wrinkle my brow in confusion. "I don't remember seeing this in the curriculum guide."

"Who cares." Alora grins. "It's better than Shadow History and Culture class."

Everyone laughs in agreement. My mind flits back to an earlier conversation with Raegal. When I voiced my disgust that the Shadow Borne make many Asen children orphans and then expect them to serve them for the rest of their lives. Was this his doing?

W e're all gathered outside the mansion an hour later. Moryen and a few of our other tutors are accompanying us.

The girls from my dorm feel a mix of excitement and dread at the idea of travelling by shadow weave again. I'm getting used to being whisked away by shadows now, given it has been happening so often.

Dormitory by dormitory, we leave. Our group being the last. Moryen accompanies us. When we arrive, Tyria vomits and vows she'll stay at the orphanage rather than shadow weave to the mansion. I place my hand above my eyes to shelter them from the blinding light of the sun and take in the large home before us. It doesn't resemble an orphanage. Although, having never seen one before, I wouldn't know. It looks like an old, converted farmhouse with quaint small windows and shutters painted in a pale yellow. Standing before the open front door is a small, plump lady with short, curly hair and rosy cheeks. She smiles warmly at Moryen and the other tutors as we reach her.

"Welcome, welcome young ladies to Nesryn House. My name is Nilsa."

"Isn't that the name of the late shadow queen?" Shalia asks her as she fusses at her dress.

Nisla smile and points at Shalia. "It is, indeed, young lady. Someone knows her shadow history."

Shalia blushes at the compliment. "I read a lot," she offers in explanation. I glare at her from where I stand beside Saveya. I don't know why, but I've taken a disliking to her.

"Nesryn House is indeed named after the late queen. Our current king's mother. She established this orphanage in the years before her death. Wanting to ensure a secure home for all orphaned Asen children." She steps aside and ushers us in. "Please come inside. The children are all very excited about your visit today."

We follow her inside. The cosy entrance has flowers of various colours adorning each windowpane and all along the wall are lots of childlike drawings and pictures. The aroma of something delicious wafts through from the back of the house.

"Wrenbry's." I sigh. The smell brings back memories of home and simpler times when Ark's mom would call us in for some wrenbry pie and juice. It will always remind me of home and of Ark.

"It is indeed," Nilsa informs me. "Baking as we speak, ready for lunch time. Now, come this way. The children are all in their classes, so we'll need to be quiet."

"What classes do they take?" I ask, expecting Nilsa to advise that they take classes that prepare them for their life of servitude.

"Art, history, reading and writing, sums, cookery, and physical sports. The class we're entering now is reading and writing.

"Don't they all become servants?" I ask her, confused.

Nilsa pauses in her steps and tilts her head at me. "We support the children to go into whatever profession they want. Some choose to stay and work for us, but it is of their own choosing." Her gaze narrows, that pleasant smile disappearing for the first time. "Now, let us continue with the tour."

The first classroom we enter is for children aged four to six. They sit listening to their teacher, who is teaching them about the seasons and how the weather changes. All the children appear happy and healthy. Next, we visit their dormitories and see where they all sleep. The dormitories have colourful murals painted on the walls and all the comforts of a child's bedroom. Nilsa announces we'll visit the play area outside next. We come to a stop as we reach the exit to the back of the property, and I wonder what the holdup is.

"Ah, I didn't think that man could get any finer," I hear Shalia say followed by a dreamy sigh. I'm near to the back of the girls, so I'm unaware of who she is referring to until they all move through, and I get to see what the commotion is.

Raegal is here. He's dressed in casual clothes, simple navy trousers and a white linen shirt, with the top few buttons undone. He has a five o'clock shadow around his jawline and his dark locks tied back away from those piercing grey eyes. My breath falters as I catch sight of him. The man who occupied my bed just hours ago. My enemy, who had his head between my legs last night and brought me nothing but a blissful escape.

I watch him sitting with a small Asen girl who looks to be about six or seven years old. He listens intently to what she is saying, and my breath catches when she says something to him, and they both break into laughter. He doesn't laugh often, but when he does, it transforms him from handsome to breathtaking. Raegal pauses, looking up and his eyes lock onto mine. I find myself walking towards him, pulled by some unknown force, as the other girls spread out to meet and chat with the children as they play. He offers the little girl a flower, and she takes it and adds it to the little bouquet she's making.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him with a confused frown.

He gazes up at me, then smiles down at the girl. "Aiyana, this is Eretreya."

The little girl looks up at me and her eyes widen as they meet mine. "You're Shadow Kissed!"

I nod and bend down to her level. "I am. Is it the eyes that gave it away?" I say with a cheeky smile.

The little girl forgets her flowers and wanders closer to me. She reaches out to touch my face. She stares at my eyes like they're magical.

"Your eyes are so pretty. Aren't they pretty?" she says, glancing briefly at Raegal.

He smiles at her and looks over at me. "Mesmerising."

"Why are you here?" I ask him again, as the little girl reaches out to touch my hair. "Is this an attempt to convince me you care about my people?"

Sighing, he stands to his full height. He tickles Aiyana on her head. "Go fetch your brother. I want to see if he has been practicing his batting skills."

Aiyana nods and gazes at my eyes in awe once more before skipping across the playground.

"I come here at least once a week. I know every child here. Who their parents were and how they died. And I'll ensure that every one of these children grows up safe, because we owe them that much." He waits for my reaction. "Disappointed that it goes against your view of me as a tyrant and bully."

I meet his stare. "One small gesture doesn't change the fact that you are here uninvited and that my realm is at the mercy of your people."

He scoffs. "Some things are beyond my control. I do what I can. I'm sorry if it isn't enough for you, Terror." Frowning, he walks past me, and I turn upon hearing a child calling his name. I watch as the boy's grin widens when he sees Raegal, and he runs full pelt towards him. Raegal smiles warmly at him and swings him up into his arms, the two of them chatting away like close family.

"Doesn't it just make your ovaries want to burst? He can impregnate me any day," Tyria comments, coming up beside me and watching Raegal.

I shrug my shoulders. "Or it could all be an act to convince us he cares."

Tyria shakes her and chuckles. "So cynical. What happened to you to make you so pessimistic?"

I don't return her smile. "They happened," I reply as I walk away, needing some space and quiet. I find a small bench towards the side of the garden, partly hidden by an overhanging tree. I can see the entire garden from here. I watch as Shalia sidles up to Raegal and talks to the little boy with him. From watching his interactions with the children, I can see he wasn't lying when he said he comes here often. It's obvious all the children know him, and they are relaxed in his company. It was much easier to hate him when I didn't know any of this. Shalia laughs at something he says and almost loses her footing, causing Raegal to hook an arm around her waist and steady her. I roll my eyes—so obvious in her pursuit.

"What are you frowning at?" Saveya asks as she comes to sit beside me. She follows my line of sight. "Ah, okay. Don't like her getting too close to your commander?"

I snort in disgust. "He isn't my commander. It is pathetic though, faking a stumble, so he'll save her."

Saveya scrunches her nose up. "Can you blame her? I mean, look at him. Not only does he look like that, but he's a fierce warrior and the children love him. I mean, apart from the royal prince, he'll be the next one any of these girls would want to snag."

I snort again and she shakes her head at me. "And why wouldn't he choose Shalia?" Saveya asks me. "Look at her. Those big expressive eyes, heart-shaped face and a tiny waist. Not to mention that glossy mane of black hair."

I snicker, but she's right. She is beautiful and any hot-blooded male would find her attractive. "She's welcome to him. I'll aim for the prince," I say with a wink.

Saveya laughs. "Going for the main prize, huh?"

"Maybe," I shrug, "but if go for the main prize, I'm going to need to pass all my classes and you've seen how terrible I am at being a lady." I chuckle aloud at myself. Terrible didn't even begin to describe it.

"I'll help you," she announces, placing her hand over mine.

"You will?" I say, surprised. I swallow, looking down at her hand on mine.

"Of course, Reya. That's what friends are for. Come on, you can't sulk in the corner of the garden all day. Let's go bug some children." Laughing, I stand and allow her to link my arm and drag me over to a group of children.

W e move on to see some more children in their classes and then we get to meet some of the staff at the orphanage who were once residents themselves. They talk affectionately about their time here and how grateful they are for the Shadow Borne for looking after them and giving them a home. Raegal, to my annoyance, stays with us for the rest of the tour and Shalia uses every opportunity to be beside him, batting her eyelashes at him and laughing at everything he says. By the time the tour comes to an end I am in a foul mood, thanks to being aggravated by his presence and Shalia's relentless flirting.

Moryen announces we need to return to the mansion, and we shadow weave back in our dorm groups back to the mansion. Our group is last, and I don't miss the fact that Raegal is still here. Nilsa clasps his hand tightly and looks at him with nothing but affection.

"We'll see you next week, Commander, and thank you for the gifts you gave children. You have made them all very happy."

Raegal squeezes her hand and tells her it's a pleasure before he turns his attention to me and the girls from my dorm. "Mistress Leysa, if you take these three ladies and I'll take Saveya and Eretreya."

I clench my jaw upon hearing my name. Why does he insist on using my full name? He knows I dislike it. He walks over to us and offers out his hands. "Ladies. Shall we?"

I huff and, looking heavenwards, place my hand in his. "I think Shalia was hoping you'd accompany her group; you know, in case she stumbles again."

Raegal smirks in response. "Yes, very clumsy of her, especially given she was on flat ground." I gasp as he wraps an arm around both our waists and pulls us into his side. "I'm always happy to come to the aid of a damsel in distress."

"It's a shame we didn't get to see Lake Eris," Saveya says sadly. "Tyria said it is supposed to be exquisite."

Raegal nods in response. "It's a sight to behold."

"Wouldn't know," I grumble. "We're stuck in that damn valley all the time. I've seen so little of my realm."

Raegal frowns down at me as his shadows swirl around us, blanketing us in darkness. I close my eyes, feeling the warmth of them as one wraps itself around my right ankle. Before we can blink, we are back outside the mansion. Raegal nods his head to us and bids us farewell then he's gone again in a mist of shadows. I am left feeling even more confused by the version of him I saw today and how happy and cared for the children at the orphanage were. The more I learn about Raegal, the harder I find it to dislike him.

I 'm not in the mood for my next class; I have zero interest in learning about the Shadow Realm and its people. If I'm honest, I'm distracted because we have our first combat class tomorrow and I'm itching to get out there and hold a sword in my hand. We take our seats and Master Aven claps his hands together to get our attention. He is young for a teacher, and quite a few of the girls are sending appreciative glances his way. He has a mop of dark unruly curls that flop into his eyes, and that shirt he's wearing is struggling to contain his muscled chest.

"Ladies, welcome to Shadow History and Culture class. I am honoured to be here to teach you. My people's survival depends on you, the chosen ones. I am deeply indebted to you."

One girl from the north district raises her hand. "Do you have an Asen wife, Master Aven?"

He smiles and shakes his head. "I don't, but I hope to be selected for the reaping ceremony."

My hand shoots up, and he nods at me to speak.

"When you say you are hoping to be selected, what do you mean?"

He perches on the front of his desk and rolls his sleeves up to reveal tanned and muscular arms. "Well, as you know, Shadow Kissed are only gifted to us every twenty-five years and luckily your numbers have increased to twenty-five this reaping. There are many more single men in my realm than twenty-five, so we have to apply to be at the reaping. If they don't select us, then we won't get to take an Asen wife."

Saveya raises her hand, concern marring her features. "But, Master Aven, if you aren't selected does that mean you will be unable to have children?"

"But there will be half-breeds, won't there?" I say. "The second and third generation children from the previous reaping's?"

He nods his head. "There are four generations now from that first reaping. There are five hundred and fifty Shadasens in our realm. As you know, each cycle the Shadow Kissed numbers have increased and so have our breeding numbers. As I said, this reaping there are twenty-five of you, and we are hopeful your generation will increase our numbers significantly."

I snicker to myself, so in other words, they are expecting us to pop out as many babies as possible.

"Do the Shadasens have shadow magic like you?" Tyria asks him and we all wait eagerly for his response.

He nods his head and, standing to his feet, he walks down the row of desks as he answers. "They do. They aren't as strong, but they can weave shadows and do all the things we can, just on a smaller scale."

Saveya raises her hand again. "How long ago was the last full-blooded shadow child born then?"

He walks over to the board and picks up his scribe and we watch as he writes on the board the numbers 1170.

"Thirty-five years ago. So, you can see how important you are to our survival. Without you, we would be a dying realm. Just as you would be through starvation and mutt attacks, had we not arrived in your realm and offered our protection and our resources."

"Seems like they had a lot more to gain than we did," I mutter under my breath to Saveya, and Master Aven's eyes snap to me.

"You don't agree our agreement offers mutual benefits, Miss Lockwood?"

I turn crimson, sensing all eyes on me as he awaits my response. I really need to learn to keep my thoughts to myself!

"I think we got the poor end of the deal. Yes, our crops are prospering, but we are prisoners in our own towns at night. Many of our men die fighting your war."

Master Aven nods his head, mulling over my comments. "They do, but I'm intrigued you refer to it as our war. You think the Flame Borne would leave you alone if we weren't here? They know your planet offers us a valuable abundance of onyx. They wouldn't think twice about killing your people or destroying your realm to stop us from accessing your resources."

I become uneasy under his scrutiny, shrugging my shoulders and picking at my fingernails. "There's a chance we could have got a better deal with the Flame Borne. After all, they don't appear to be having breeding problems."

His eyes narrow in on me. "If you believe that, Miss Lockwood, then you are misinformed, but then you are young and na?ve and have known nothing but the safety of your small district," he says, his eyes narrowing in on me.

"I've known suffering," I snap back, my anger rearing its head. "I lost my father as a child thanks to a mining disaster mining your precious onyx. I lost my mother just over a month ago because of the protection your kind offers failed my town. Then I had to leave my orphaned brothers behind to come here and offer my womb up to your people. I know loss and pain."

The room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Master Aven nods his head, and his face turns sombre. "I apologise, Miss Lockwood, for your losses. My people have suffered hundreds of years of war and conflict. We have all made sacrifices in order to survive."

Across the room, a hand goes up in the air and he nods for them to speak, effectively ending our conversation. My blood boils that they think they have the monopoly on sacrifice and suffering.

"Don't Shadow Borne age at a slower rate than we do and live longer? How does that work with an Asen wife?"

"Good question," he replies, pointing a finger at her. "We live to around two hundred years of age, compared to your one hundred years. Once a Shadow Borne reaches twenty-five, the ageing process slows down. Our middle-age is the equivalent of your mortality age.

Two girls from East dorm exchange disgusted looks. "So, we're marrying men old enough to be our fathers?"

Master Aven smiles and shakes his head. "Not necessarily. Most shadow men at the reaping will be in their mid-twenties to early thirties."

Shalia's hand shoots up. "How old is the Lord Commander?"

Giggles and murmurs fill the room, and Master Aven smirks. "It appears our commander is a popular prize amongst you ladies. The lord commander was born in 1168."

"Like a fine wine," a girl from the east district says with a cheeky smile to her friend next to her, and they break into a chorus of giggles.

"But if your kind age slower, doesn't that mean when they're in their fifties their Asen wives will be old and wrinkled?" asks the same girl.

Master Aven clears his throat and looks a tad uncomfortable as he speaks. "When our kind mate with yours, our, er, essence is enthused with shadow magic that slows down your own ageing process."

A few girls giggle at the mating reference and I roll my eyes.

Saveya's hand shoots up, and she waves it back and forth in her eagerness to speak. "Wait, so you're saying that we'll live an extra hundred years?"

Master Aven smiles and nods. "Yes, another of our gifts to you is an extended life span."

"Cool!" Saveya says, grinning and looking at me as if to say, ‘isn't it amazing?' I shudder at the thought of another hundred years of a life I didn't choose.

Class ends and even though I was lacking enthusiasm in attending, it gave me food for thought. I'm not sure how I feel about the extended life span. It would mean I would see my brothers die long before me. I snort to myself—not that I'll actually see them again—but just knowing they would die so many years before me means one day everyone I love will be gone. If anything, the class has fuelled my determination to support the rebellion.