Chapter 28

28

RAEGAL

I 'm greeted warmly by the servants as I stride through the castle towards the king's private offices. As much as I detest Asen and its people. It has been a welcome reprieve from the bitter memories that I have of home. I flex my fingers and the memory of having them inside her earlier floods my mind. The way she felt as she climaxed around them. I shudder at the thought of what it would feel like to have her come on my cock. I need to bed a woman and shake this girl out of my system. ‘Ours,' my shadows whisper to me. Traitorous bastards want another taste of her. In some ways, coming home will serve to remind me why I hate her kind and why I cannot give in to my depraved desires. And boy are my desires depraved. The things I want to do to my terror. I want to strip her bare and mark every inch of her skin. I shudder and fist my hands, shaking the images from my mind. Focus! Remember what is important!

As I reach the king's quarters, the guards bob their heads my way and open the doors, allowing me entry.

"Your Majesty," I greet, bending my head in respect.

"Lord Commander," the king replies, not looking up from his papers to greet me. "It appears we have much to discuss."

"We do, Your Grace, and a few other matters I would like to discuss with you if I may."

This gets his attention. His grey shrewd eyes fall on me, and I can feel them assessing and finding me lacking. "Well, take a seat. I'm a busy man."

I do as ordered, taking a seat opposite him. I wait while he peruses his papers in front of him. "What news do you bring about the missing girls? This is the rebellion's latest tactic?"

I nod my head. "It would appear so, Your Grace. They haven't publicly claimed it, but it is clearly them. Then there's the attack on the crystal convoy. The rebellion has claimed that as their work, but I am not convinced. Mutts were involved in the attack and we both know only those with night blood can control them."

The king leans back in his seat and nods his head. His dark beard showing a smattering of grey. Despite his age, he is still broad and strong. Our king runs every morning and spars with his personal guard daily. Our people respect him as a warrior and a pillar of strength. "The Night Realm remains closed?"

"It does, however, the split in the void has grown."

The king sighs. "One hundred years of nothing and then suddenly this. We have no firm confirmation that the entire realm perished. Could it be that some of their kind survived?"

I shake my head. "I don't see how. All gateways closed as their king took his last breath. I think what is more likely is that someone with access to a talented crystal weaver has created a stone that can control the mutts."

I lie with ease. I choose not to share my personal thoughts on the matter, not until I have further clarification regarding my suspicions.

"You have been spending time at the mansion," the king states, watching my response closely.

"I have," I reply curtly. Damn Moryen and her mouth.

"Do I assume you will do your duty to your realm and take a girl at the reaping?" He arches a brow and waits expectantly.

"That is what you have commanded of me, Your Grace. I am your humble servant and I live to serve you."

The king nods his head. "Good. I'm glad sense has prevailed. I know you don't have a great opinion of Asen women, but they will provide you with healthy heirs. Now, the Shadow Kissed. We can't afford to lose any more. What is your suggestion on the matter?"

"My advice would be that we bring the remaining chosen ones to the mansion now. They will be safer at the valley."

"Agreed. Do so immediately. I'll also increase the budget for our rebellion intelligence team. Now, the other matters?"

"The Shadow Kissed females. I feel we should expand their curriculum and the areas of skill we score them on."

The king tilts his head and gestures with his hand for me to continue. "I think we should introduce basic combat into the timetable. Hear me out," I say when I see he goes to disagree. "We are at war and our women are vulnerable without basic defence skills to protect themselves. I feel it can only serve to help protect them and our realm."

The king bobs his head, considering my words. "I'll think about it and give you my response soon. Anything else?" he asks me, eager to be done with our meeting. Eager to be done with me.

"Yes." I swallow. "I feel we should allow the females contact with their families. I think it will help motivate them and remind them who they are doing this for. I'm thinking weekly contact via crystal orb."

The king's brooding silence hangs in the air as I wait for his response. "What has brought this on, Commander?"

I sigh—a girl with hypnotic eyes and sinful lips. I clear my throat and my mind. "I believe opinion on Asen in favour of us is declining. The rebels are working hard to turn people against us with propaganda campaigns about the way we treat their women. This will show that we value and respect the chosen ones and care about their emotional welfare."

The king strokes his beard and nods his head. "I'll sanction it, and maybe we could offer a visit home for those that score in the top five. A bit of healthy competition could spur them on to work harder."

"I agree."

"Splendid. Remember, Lord Commander, you represent our people, and you must be seen practicing what you preach. I look forward to hearing of your attendance at the ball."

"Of course. As my king wishes." I get to my feet and bow my head in respect. "I'll take my leave."

"Make sure you visit your mother before you leave, Commander," the king says, issuing his final command before he buries his head back in his papers and dismisses me.

As I close the door behind me, I release the breath of tension I've been holding. Coming back here evokes so many memories and reminds me of my weaknesses.

Not worthy.

Not deserving.

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of those voices that whisper in my subconscious mind. I come to an abrupt stop when I come face to face in the corridor with Queen Mairin. The king's Asen wife.

"Your grace." I dip my head in greeting.

"Raegal. It is good to see you. Have you come from the king's office?"

I force myself to look her in the eye. "I have."

She searches my face and smiles warmly. "I trust you are well, and that all in Asen is well?"

I nod my head. "All is good. I must not linger. I am on my way to see my mother."

Queen Mairin smiles in understanding. "She misses you when you are gone. As do your younger siblings. Will you be calling in to see them before you go?"

I shake my head and swallow. "I'm afraid this is a flying visit. Much in Asen demands my attention."

"Of course." Her smile falters. "Well, I should let you go." She reaches out with her hand, and I visibly flinch as she places it on my arm. "Your family misses you."

I take a step back and her arm falls between the space. "Your Grace." I bow my head in respect and stride away as quickly as I can. I feel her eyes on me the full length of the corridor. Disappointment and regret chase me away.

I find my mother within the grounds of her private apartment. An easel is in front of her. She paints the picturesque view of the lake. This is her haven, her place to escape from everything. She has made this space her oasis, planting flowers and plants in various shades of her favourite colour, damson.

Guilt presses heavily on my spine every time I see my mother.

"Well, are you going to stand there all day or are you going to come and greet me," she says, without turning my way. How she knows I am standing here is beyond me, but she always does.

Taking a steadying breath, I walk over to her. When I reach her side, she tips her face up to look at me. Reaching out with her hands, she cups my face and kisses my nose. "I have missed you, my boy. How are you?"

"All is fine," I tell her, breathing in her scent. Despite all my sins, my mother's love for me has never wavered.

"Sit," she orders. "Let me look at you." She gestures to the empty chair beside her, and I take the seat and feel her eyes studying me. "You look tired, my boy. Are you getting enough rest?"

"I'm fine, Mother. I'll sleep when I'm dead."

She shakes her head at me and reaches out and squeezes my knee. "You're no good to anyone dead."

I'm no good to anyone alive .

Guilt.

Regret.

"Never mind me. How are you?"

She smiles and pats my hand. "Oh, I'm fine. I have my gardens and my paintings and my charitable work. Have you been to the orphanage? How are the children there?"

"Good," I tell her, smiling. "They are all flourishing under the care of the guardians."

"Good. I am pleased to hear it. Jasiel, how is he?"

"Fine. His usual spirited self. He's talking about taking a wife at the reaping."

Mother laughs. "Well, I never. And you, are you prepared to do your duty?"

I don't miss the tightness in her smile. "You know my feelings on the matter, but what the king commands, I must obey."

She leans closer to me and strokes her thumb across my cheek gently. "You may find true happiness in the female you choose. Don't let past events blind you."

I sigh, leaning into her touch. "I will do my duty."

She reluctantly pulls away and picks her paint brush back up. "I hear there are two girls at the mansion. Both of them orphans. How are they faring?" she asks me with genuine concern. That's my mother, always thinking of others.

I clear my throat and look away from her gaze. "They are both doing okay. Settling into the mansion."

"One has sparked your interest!" she says, watching me closely. "You can't hide anything from me, boy. I know you too well."

I frown and swear internally at my mother's astuteness. "She is troublesome and does nothing but frustrate me."

Mother grins and chuckles. "There is a fine line between love and hate."

I shake my head. "She hates our kind as much as I do hers."

Mother's smile fades away. "I hold no ill will towards any Asen. We are all victims of situations out of our control, just as your female is."

I snicker. "She isn't my female."

"But she could be, if you chose it to be so. You need someone by your side. A strong woman will challenge you to be the best version of yourself."

I sigh. Despite her own experiences, she still loves my father. She is still as devoted to him as she was the day she met him, and their betrothal was announced at court.

"Will you have tea with me?" she asks, and I'm grateful for the change in subject.

"I'd like nothing more," I reply, rising from my seat to escort her back towards her quarters. Being here is suffocating, but for her I will bear it. I owe her that much and more besides.

I return shortly before dusk. Feeling relieved to escape my past. I itch to see Terror, so I shadow weave straight to the mansion. I arrive in her room and find her lying on her front on her bed with a book in her hand. She doesn't sense my arrival, and this allows me to watch her unhindered for a while. She is bewitching. Her long pale blonde curls fall down her back and she swings her crossed legs back and forth as she reads. She looks relaxed and comfortable.

"What are you reading?"

"Mother Goddess!" She yelps, dropping her book over the edge of the bed and sitting up. "You're back."

"You're observant," I reply dryly.

"You're early," she states, and I nod my head. "It seems I can't stay away."

She frowns at my statement, studying my face. "You're tired. Was the trip home taxing?"

I nod my head. "I have something for you," I tell her, and she sits up on her heels with interest. I bring forth the orb I've been hiding behind my back and hold it out in front of me. "Do you know what this is?"

She climbs to her feet and walks over to me, studying the crystal globe in my hand. I watch with avid fascination as she leans in closer to study it. Her scent assaults my senses, and my shadows beg me to pull her close.

"It's a communication orb," I explain. "When two parties have one, they can talk to each other. It's infused with a rare crystal called ammolite. It can only be found in my realm."

She lifts a hand and runs her finger over the top of the cool crystal. "And what will I do with this?"

I reach for her hands and place them together before placing the orb between them. "One is on its way to your brothers. You'll be able to speak to them and see how they are."

Her face jerks up to meet mine. "Seriously? For me?"

I nod my head and can't help but smile when her lips raise in pure joy. "It's yours for tomorrow and then it will go to Saveya and then mistress Moryen will ensure each girl gets to speak with their families once a week."

"Thank you." She clutches it to her chest like it is something precious. "Why?"

"Because you were right. It's cruel to take you from your families and refuse you any contact with them."

She smirks and pops out her hip. "Sorry Commander, did you just say I was right?"

"Raegal," I say. "I think given we share a bed each night, you should call me by my name."

Her cheeks redden at my mention of us sharing a bed. "Okay then, Raegal. Did you admit I was right about something?"

I half smile. "I have some work to do, but I'll be back later."

"It went well with your king?" she asks, raising her eyes from studying the orb in her hands.

"It went well. We are bringing the rest of the Shadow Kissed to the valley as soon as possible to ensure their safety."

Her smile drops. "Oh, I see."

I tilt my head, intrigued by her sudden change in mood. "I thought news of us bringing your comrades would please you?"

She sighs and looks away from me and at the floor. "I've never really had a positive experience with other females."

"Mayla?"

Eretreya flinches at the name of the deceased girl from her village. "She made sure every girl our age ostracised and isolated me." She straightens her shoulders and looks me square in the eye. "It's not like I needed friends. I was better off alone. Fewer people to be attached to when the time came to leave."

H er words replay in my head as I shadow weave to my office. That is how she survived—by becoming illusive and untouchable. Giving the impression that she needs no one and can survive just fine on her own.

I give the order to a guard to fetch Jasiel, and I take a seat at my desk. Going home was hard. Too many memories, most of them negative. They weren't always bad, though. Once they had been happy. In that blissful period when it was just the four of us. Before I destroyed everything with my jealousy.

Jasiel enters the office and closes the door behind him. He leans over my desk and offers me a goblet of Rosuk, and I gratefully take it from him.

"Thought you might need that," he says, taking a seat opposite me and gesturing with his head at the drink in my hand.

"I do. Thank you, friend." I knock back some of the drink and sigh.

"How did it go?"

"The king agreed to all my suggestions. We will send out parties to travel and collect each Shadow Kissed female and bring them back here. We'll assign extra men to ensure their protection. I need to speak to Moryen as well as we'll be changing the curriculum for the girls."

"We will?" Jasiel asks, his brows arched. He rests his crossed ankles on the edge of my desk, getting himself comfortable.

"The king has agreed to add basic combat to their studies. As well as regular communication with their families."

"I see." I can feel his eyes on me and when I look up, he's smirking at me with a knowing stare.

"And the reason for this is nothing to do with a small blonde with purple eyes?"

I glare at him. "Not at all."

Jasiel snickers and shakes his head. "Whatever you say."

There is a strong rap on my office door, and I bark a command to enter. It's Finor, one of my trusted soldiers. "Sorry to disturb you, Lord Commander, when you haven't been back long, but you need to come and see this."

I frown. He looks worried, so I don't question his request. Finor trained alongside Jasiel and me as young soldiers, and I trust him implicitly. We shadow weave with him back to the wall. I blink in surprise when I look out beyond the valley. There are hundreds of night mutts out there, surrounding the protective walls of the valley.

"The numbers have been steadily growing each night, but tonight hundreds more of them have arrived."

Jasiel shares my look of concern as we stare out at all the glowing purple eyes of the beasts. Could it be that the resistance has found a way to control the mutts? Were they planning an attack on Shadow Valley?

"What should we do, Commander?" Finor asks, looking bewildered by the sight of so many of them.

"Send explosives of shadow dust their way. Let's see if it sends them packing." It's the only viable solution right now.

Finor barks orders to the soldiers positioned on the walls and they all move into action, readying to attack the mutts. Let's just hope this works. What with this, and the attack on the crystal convoy, and the Shadow Kissed being kidnapped.