48. Interlude 4

Interlude 4

22 years ago

The child squirms in the High Fae's arms. A beautiful little girl that was born with a purpose that no one, not even she, can know. The Forgotten Ring hangs onto her finger just as tightly as it had held onto the female's finger so many times in the past.

The ring was not meant for infants only a year old, but the female would have to trust that her handmaid would watch over the child and prevent her from removing the ring. Soon enough, her powers will begin to stir.

Already, the female can feel the shadows pushing through her resolve, desperate to be released into the world. Unlike the other Great Houses, the stronger High Fae from the House of Shadows are incapable of keeping their shadows completely leashed.

The child means so much to her, more than she'd expected. "Little Star, I'm going to miss you, but know that I'm watching you. Just like you watch the stars in the sky every night, I'll be looking at you more than you'll know. I just won't be able to touch you. I won't be able to hold you or play with you. But I will watch you. And one day, I'll hold you again. Until then, you'll have to be my Little Star."

She'd expected this moment to be easy. For other Immortals, it would have been, but she'd been here with this man for years now, and he'd taught her things. A human. Absolutely powerless against the world around him. He was different from what the female had imagined.

When he kissed her, it was not like when High Fae had kissed her in the past. Her bedroom partners had been many before she'd left Draenyth, a normal thing for a female from the House of Shadows. But she had never had a lover . She had never known the emotions that stirred inside her now, nor had she known what it was like to have them stir inside her partner like this.

The pain that he would feel rips at her heart in a way that shouldn't be real. Why should she care about a worthless human's pain? About his emotions? It's a weakness, and she should purge it from herself.

But the thought of losing these emotions would be worse than hurting the human. To go back to being that cold, heartless Queen seems like giving up everything that matters. The little girl in her arms would just be a tool to her, then. Not her Little Star.

"It's time, isn't it?" the man asks from behind her. She's sitting on their porch holding their daughter. The rocking chair he'd built her to sit in while she watched the night fall squeaks just a little as she rocks the child one last time.

"No. Not quite, Sandor. I… I would like to do a very stupid thing first."

She can hear every move he makes. Her ability to know where his body is at any given time is unmatched, and even the shift of his clothing rattles in her ears, a reminder of his humanity and her immortality. And yet, when he frowns and cocks his head as he's so prone to doing, she smiles.

It's not his strength or his skills that changed the former Queen. It's not his wealth or his body or his ability to protect her. There's no one in the world that could make her smile because of those things. She is the strongest member of the House of Shadows, a warrior without compare. Only the one who wears the Painted Crown can beat her in battle. Or possibly his son.

She would not have become more by meeting and living with someone strong. But this weak and powerless human has changed her in ways that she could not have predicted; ways that would not be obvious to anyone who hasn't lived with humans before. Humans have something that no High Fae does.

They understand love. They understand, even without magical bonds, that all living things are connected. Sometimes, being the most powerful isn't always the most important thing. Sometimes, it's the weakest person who can change everything. Like Sandor Arden did for her.

"You've never done anything stupid before," he says. "You're the most brilliant woman I've ever met, and that's why I know that there's nothing I can say that will convince you to stay. Because you're probably right. You need to go. For her sake."

His eyes drift to their daughter. The beautiful little girl that will someday grow up to take her place in Draenyth. A Wyrdling with a hidden bloodline that could save the world when not even the strongest Queen in history could.

The woman looks at the man. Maybe one day they could be together again. For now, she would have to leave to keep the little girl safe. There will be hunters on her trail if she lets her scent stay here too long. She'd be able to fight them, but that would bring danger to her daughter.

If she leaves now, her daughter will be safe, and maybe, if the fates allowed, that beautiful little girl will heal the world in a way that the former Queen could not.

That means that the High Fae will have to leave the child and Sandor. The pain cuts her again, deep and ragged. "I…" she hesitates. This would be the stupidest thing that she has ever done. A permanent weakness. Sandor is human. He will die, and she'll be left with a wound in her soul that will never heal.

But for those few years, she would know what it was to love a man in a way that no other High Fae ever has. She will know what it is to love her husband. To tie her soul to his. A way to feel him even while they're separated.

"Sandor," she whispers, "will you marry me? Will you bind your soul to mine, as my people do?"

He kneels down in front of her, the baby between them, and he says, "I will do anything for you, Brenna. I don't know what that means, but… but if it lets me be closer to you, then it's what I want. I'm human, though. You'll outlive me, and then what?"

She smiles at him, a tear in her eyes. "Then I'll love our daughter because she reminds me of you. Then I'll remember the way you made me feel. No different from any other widow. There's no one in the world that I'd rather tie my soul to than you, the man that taught me what love is. The man who taught me what it is to care about a person for more than what they could do for me."

A tear rolls down her cheek, and it's mirrored in the man she loves. In several hours, she'll leave Blackgrove.

He smiles at her through the tears and asks, "Tell me what to do, my love. There's nothing in the world I want more than to be married to the woman of my dreams."

As the female Fae looks down at the house in the woods where her husband and daughter lay, protected only by her handmaiden, she understands why the High Fae refuse to marry humans. Even now, her husband's longing tears at her resolve. She knows that what she is doing is right for the world. For her daughter and husband. Even for herself.

It doesn't make it any easier, though. The ache in her chest is more than she ever expected to feel. The tears that stream down her cheek are the only ones she's cried for as long as she can remember.

You cannot mourn the loss of something if you never loved it. And those two fragile people in that house are the only things she's ever loved. More than power. More than riches. More than rightness. The former Queen of Shadows chose to have a weakness, and now she has to leave it behind.