42. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

I should envy Calyr. Only he, of the five of us, will survive this. Only he will slumber instead of return to the darkness. I don't. My wife waits for me, and nothing would give me more joy than to hear her song again.

~Sidon the Strong, A History of Magic and Dragons

The scent of spiced amber is everywhere, and my body craves it. My eyes flash open as I realize how loudly that steady drumbeat is sounding in my ears. Fear rolls through me when I think about how strong my shadows might be, but when I look down at my fingers, only the thinnest tendrils of inky darkness flow from them.

I let out a sigh of relief, and it's only then that I realize why everything smells like Cole. His body is pressed against mine, his arm wrapped around me. His naked chest peaks over the blanket as he softly snores beside me, and I want to lie back and drown in that scent.

In him.

His hand moves from my ribs, drifting lower until his fingers dig into my hip, and it takes everything in me to control the urges that well up inside me. Urges that would make wearing my mother's ring completely useless because I'd smother the room in darkness.

Yet, I don't push him away. The way his hand feels against my hip is something I've wanted so many times. If only it were against my skin instead of my undertunic.

I can't stop my hips from shifting just a little, though. That seems to be enough to wake Cole up because his hand clings tighter to me. He lets out a soft groan, and his hand moves between my legs. Exactly like I'd wanted him to. I can't stop the gasp from slipping out.

And then his hand's gone. His eyes open, and shock fills his face. "I'm so sorry," he whispers. "I was having a dream…"

I'm having a hard time not begging him to put his hand back. To lift my undertunic off my body. To…

No. I can't. The longer I've been here and the more I've used my powers, the more I know that if he were to do anything more than that briefest touch, that we'd have House of Flame guards breaking down the door to capture me.

"It's okay," I whisper, my heart doing its very best to beat out of my chest. "I wasn't complaining."

His eyes are dilated, and when he sits up, I notice the tent he's making in the blanket. It's not the first time I've noticed it, either. He stands up, the soft linen pants doing hardly anything to hide his arousal from me, and he quickly turns away. Going straight to the privy, he leaves me alone in bed. Alone with so much desire that it's hard to even move.

My fingertips are bleeding black, but somehow, I'm keeping it from becoming enough to alert any guards. I try to think of anything. Of training. Of the fact that I have to go to that dance tomorrow night. That I have been away from home for nearly three months at this point. That I don't know how Hazel is doing.

Anything to not think about Cole's hands pressed between my legs. Damn that male for making me want him so much just by being him.

He steps back into the room, a sheepish look on his face as he looks at me. "Sorry," he mutters.

I shake my head, very glad that he can't see my arousal like I could see his when he stood up. I roll out of bed. Except that he can, and he is staring at it. The thin lines of inky shadows that run from my fingertips to the floor and disappear, my mother's ring doing its best to contain the power that's desperate to leave my body.

He says nothing, but we both know what those lines of shadows mean. "I have to spend some time with Rhion, King Gethin, and my father today, so no training. I think you're ready. The dancing. The fighting. The magic. We've already discussed the way to get to Calyr in depth. I'll be gone until around lunchtime, and then we can spend a bit of time relaxing. Or maybe I can get you that armor."

I smirk. "We both know I'm better without the armor, Cole. But I wouldn't mind relaxing a little."

He chuckles. I don't know why, but he keeps mentioning this armor idea as if it's a good one. He knows I can fight with shadows just as well as I can fight with the spear, and wearing armor would be like taking away one of my weapons.

I think it's just because he'd rather fight me when I'm wearing armor. I'd be slower, and he's getting tired of getting hit. Or maybe because the topic gets my mind away from thinking about him touching me. Away from the dangerous emotions that I still haven't fully learned how to control.

"Fine. Relaxing it is. Maybe we can go back to the Firelight Café this evening?" And now my eyes are wandering over his naked chest.

I arch an eyebrow. "Is Mari feeling better?" I've tried to stay away from the Firelight Café since the incident with the harpies, but it'd be nice to go back. A last night together for all of us. After experiencing a night that began so perfectly, the chance to have another sounds like an incredible ending to our adventures together.

Which only makes me recognize how close to the end we're coming. The night after tomorrow is the ball. The day after that, I meet Calyr and escape the city.

"I heard she was already back to serving coffee and baked goods. She hired a guard or three, though, which is an excellent decision. Draenyth is a dangerous place, and even if those harpies hadn't confused her with you, eventually someone would have taken advantage of her inability to protect herself."

I nod to him, glad that Cole's trained me. I'll never be like Mari. Never be helpless again. "Let's plan on doing that," I say. "Some late night coffee and dipping sticks sound amazing. But this time, I'm convincing Darian and Lee to tell a few stories from your childhood. I want to find out more about Young Cole. Before you got all broody."

He chuckles, and I finally realize just how much he's changed since I met him. We spent weeks on the road together, where he barely said anything to me. Now… Well, now he's laughing at a little joke in the morning.

"Deal," he says. "I've got to get ready, but I'll see you around noon. For once, Maeve, just be lazy. Try not to stir up any trouble?"

The corner of my lip curls up. "I promise not to go hunting for trouble. If it finds me, I can't do anything about that, though."

Cole just shakes his head and starts pulling clothes out of his wardrobe. Then he goes into the bathing room to change, and I lay back down in bed. I can't stop thinking about how much more I'd enjoy staying in bed with him.

My mind can't escape the thoughts of his hands on my skin and his lips on mine. I dream of the few times he's kissed me and the way it's felt to truly connect like that. I know I shouldn't be fantasizing about him. It's dangerous because of the way my shadows seem to be unconstrained when I get like this.

When he walks back into the bedroom, Cole looks wonderful. A bright red silk shirt, black cravat, and some very tight wool pants. His long black hair curls at the bottom and shines in the morning light. He gives me a smile and says, "You could always take a long soak in the bath today. No one to bother you. Loosen up all those tight muscles. You might enjoy it."

I squint my eyes at him. "What are you trying to say? Why are you suggesting I take a bath?"

He laughs, a full-bellied, yet not out of control, laugh. "I just like the way you feel through our bond when you bathe. You're… You like to think of me. That's all. I'm going to miss you. We've been together nearly all day, every day, for months now. I don't like having to leave your side, so it makes me happy knowing you're thinking about me."

I shrug. "I can accept that answer. Maybe I will take a bath. It's too bad you won't be around, though…"

Cole blinks, and there's no doubt what I'm suggesting. I know Cole, though. I know that there's no way he could miss his meeting, and there's no way he'd try to rush anything with me. But maybe he'd enjoy a bath tonight. Or tomorrow. Maybe we could go somewhere else far from Draenyth, and then it wouldn't matter if we were covered in shadows.

"You're a damned temptress, Maeve Arden," he says, but he's smiling.

I just give him a wink. "I think I enjoy tempting you, Prince Cole. You smile more."

He huffs and puts on a black riding coat, not giving me a response. When he gets to the door, though, he turns back to me. "I'll see you around noon. Enjoy your morning."

Then he's gone, and I lay back in bed. That steady drumbeat fades after a minute, but then I think about the bath. I think about how it'd make Cole feel through that betrothal bond if I wasn't so worried about the shadows. Maybe if I kept my hands under the water…

I can't help but laugh. He's changed so much, but I've changed just as much. Where I'd always questioned Hazel's desire for a husband, I feel like I'm acting even more like a silly girl than she was. At least she was worrying about her marriage. I'm… I'm just playing with a man.

We're having fun. Because in three days I'm leaving Draenyth. The thought of that burns away all thought of teasing Cole. In three days, I'm leaving him behind. I don't know how I'm going to go from all of this back to my life in Blackgrove, but I need to. The teasing and laughing and tempting…

I'm going to be a hunted woman. I know Cole won't be able to follow me, since everyone knows his scent. They'd be able to find him anywhere he goes. I shake my head. I can mourn the loss of this life when that time comes. I won't waste my few days left here worrying about it. Plus, I want Cole to feel a very different set of emotions through our bond.

"A long bath sounds wonderful," I say to no one and roll out of bed. Without a second thought, I pull my undertunic over my head and walk, completely naked, into the bathing room adjoining Cole's chambers. Unlike the first bathing room I'd used, this one has massive stained glass windows that let in plenty of light.

Steam rises from the water, filling the massive bath that's nearly large enough to swim in. Somehow, the Keep of Flames can constantly warm all the baths in the entire building. They never cool off, and as I step into the water, I feel the stress and worry drain away, just like they did the first time I stepped into one.

Unlike those previous times, my mind is focused. Not on my future or my fears. No, today, I woke up thinking about Cole, and that hasn't really changed. When I close my eyes, I see him like I saw him that day by the river.

Except that in my mind he's next to me in the bath. His hand would move over my stomach, those rough fingertips hard against my skin. I imagine his scent, that wonderfully spiced amber, filling the bath, rising thick above the bergamot and citrus oils that perfume the waters. His hand would trail down my stomach to my thigh, and he'd grip it tight. That beautiful body of his would glide in front of me, and he'd slowly spread me.

My fingers slide between my legs, and the drumming inside me feels so strong that I'm almost worried about my shadows. But my hands are under the water, and those shadows disappear almost instantly.

I lean my head back and try to relax, my imagination running wild with what I imagine Cole doing to me.

"You're playing a dangerous game, Maeve Arden," a familiar voice says from behind me.