23. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Control is what separates the High Fae from the other magically touched races. Only the High Fae can manage the emotions that flow through them so strongly. But that control will fade over time…

~Inni the Destroyer, A History of Magic and Dragons

Tomorrow we'll be in Draenyth. Skycrest rises high into the air in front of us, and I don't know if I've ever felt so small. A thousand times bigger than anything I've ever seen, it rises so high it makes the clouds look low.

All around us are mountains climbing into the air, but Skycrest towers above them all. And instead of thinking about that, I'm following Darian through the underbrush full of bitterberries.

He's so focused on what he's doing that he doesn't notice the splashes of yellow that dot his linen tunic from all of the berries he's crushed. "It's somewhere close," he says. "I'd know those feathers anywhere."

Tracking a gryphon is what Darian had decided to do instead of help Cole with the fire. If I were a smart woman, I would have stayed far away, but based on everything that's happened in the past few weeks, that's obviously not the case. It fits my glaring character flaws that I couldn't tell him to track the gryphon on his own.

Lee had thought he was an idiot. Cole specifically told him he was an idiot. And I'm helping him find the beast.

"Just stop moving," I finally say, frustration welling up inside me, which is not the same as anger. There's no buzzing of lightning in a bottle. It's just… annoyance. Like a bug buzzing in your ear. "Are you even trying to track the gryphon? Or are you just wandering around and hoping you'll see it?"

Darian blinks. "How do you track something that flies, Maeve? That doesn't sound like it's even possible."

I shake my head. "Then just be quiet and let me find it." I put my hand on the bitterberry bush next to me. My fingers rub against the waxy leaves of the plant as I close my eyes and go back over the things I've seen since I started "tracking" the gryphon with Darian.

There was the feather we found on the trail to Draenyth. A large white feather that's almost as long as my arm. Tipped in black, it looked like no feather I'd ever seen. Then there'd been the deep paw indentations along the road that led into the forest. Angled just slightly northeast of the road.

"Follow me," I say as I start walking. East. Away from the road a little further. "And be quiet, please. You want to find a creature that can fly, so use all of those Fae powers of yours to walk silently."

He nods, not quite as lost in his fervor as he was when we raced through the brush before. When he walks behind me now, he's as silent as Cole, and it's me that sounds like I'm crashing through the undergrowth like a wild ox.

As we're moving, I catch sight of a bit of white above us. Stuck on a tree branch, I don't even know how I noticed it, but I point up toward it. Darian jumps, pixie wings sprouting from his back just like Cole has done so many times. I watch and wait for him to fly up to the feather that I know will match the one we found on the path.

If the gryphon brushed that tree, then it was probably landing. There should be tracks somewhere around here. But I wait for Darian to prove that I'm right.

When he lands beside me, a wide grin on his face, he's holding another feather just like the first one. "How in the name of Vyran did you see that?"

I shrug. "A lot of time in the woods." I grab the feather from his hand and take a sniff of it. I don't know what a gryphon smells like, but I assume anything that large is going to have some kind of a scent. Nearly every huntable animal does, so a gryphon should, too.

I'm right. There's a soft oily scent to it, not like a bear or boar. More like a male deer. But it wouldn't smell like that if it had been in that tree for more than a day. "Come on," I say. I keep my eyes out for lion tracks.

Lion tracks. Gryphon tracks. My world has become very different from my childhood.

But you track all animals the same way, and my body and mind are honed to a razor's edge on how to do that. I slide under a tree branch, my fingers brushing it as I pass, and I veer slightly north. The wind blows toward me, and I could swear that I smell that same soft musky scent on it.

I follow that scent, running instead of walking. It feels like my steps are booming, but I know that I'm far more silent than any human I've ever met. Even the most experienced hunters make more sound walking than I do running.

Darian's even quieter as he keeps up with me effortlessly. But he wouldn't be able to find a gryphon. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a paw print. My body and mind follow the trail as easily as I'd follow a path with signposts.

My thoughts turn toward the size of that paw print. The fact that its claws are probably as long as my hand. The depth of the paw means it weighs probably as much as a cow. This is not a creature I should be tracking because it most likely falls into the "you will never win a fight with a Fae" rule I've lived by. If a human sized harpy can out fight me, I'm sure that a cow sized gryphon would barely bat an eye as it crushed me.

But Darian is not me. I saw him fight Cole, and I know that while he may be a little odd, he's capable of protecting both of us. So now I get to see a gryphon up close.

I stop suddenly as I hear a chittering from behind a bitterberry bush. And… Darian runs squarely into me. He looks light. He's not. I hit the bush hard, falling over it and landing about five feet in front of a very, very large gryphon.

The description that everyone knows doesn't do it justice. Half eagle and half lion. That sounds like it would be similar to a four-legged bird. That's just not true. Where the drakeling was a tiny dragon. This creature is the largest bird that was ever born.

My bed would fit on its back. A party of four could ride it. It wouldn't fit inside a wagon. And the wingspan… I have to turn my head to see from one tip to the other. Feathers cover its entire body, except its paws and tail. The tail probably weighs more than me, and it flicks around in agitation.

There aren't many creatures that I'm afraid of. I wasn't afraid of the drakeling at all. But this? Yes, every inch of me knows that I need to leave this creature alone and stay far away.

But Darian doesn't seem to have those same issues. In a flash, he's standing in front of me with a grin on his face. The gryphon screeches so loudly that I have to cover my ears. I push myself back against the bush and get to my feet, my eyes never leaving the hooked beak that's larger than my head.

Then I see its eyes. There's so much more intelligence in those eyes than a normal eagle or hawk would have. There's still the same territorial instincts and need to lash out at anything that startles it, but it knows I don't want to hurt it.

When Darian doesn't shy away from it, the gryphon calms down and begins to eye this new threat that doesn't seem afraid. I assume that there aren't very many creatures in these forests that aren't afraid of it, so when there is one, it takes notice.

"There you are," Darian whispers softly. "Don't you worry. I'm not going to hurt you." He digs into his pocket and pulls out a piece of jerky that we made from the boar I killed. "Here you go, boy." He tosses the bit of meat to the gryphon, and the gryphon moves out of the way, letting the meat hit the ground while he rears up on his back paws, spreading his wings wide.

"Eat it," Darian says. He looks down at the meat on the ground, and the gryphon follows his gaze. It's like he just realizes what it is. Cocking his head like only birds can do, he looks at the meat again, and then at Darian.

He scoops the meat up with his hooked beak and swallows it. Immediately, he turns to Darian and paws the ground in front of him. Darian tosses the meat to the ground, and the gryphon picks it up with his beak. Without any hesitation, the gryphon paws the ground again.

I have to blink a few times to believe that what I'm seeing is real. Darian just convinced a gryphon to eat his traveling rations. Now it's… asking for more? There's no way anyone could have convinced the boar I saw the other day to do that. It might have attacked me for food and taken it from me after I was dead, but it wouldn't have asked for more. Politely.

This time, Darian takes a step toward the gryphon before tossing the piece of meat. Again and again, he tosses a little piece and takes a step. The gryphon doesn't seem to mind at all.

And then Darian touches the gryphon's neck. Not gently, either. He puts his hand on the creature's neck and grips it. Hard. The gryphon's eyes open wide, almost like he's panicking, but then… he doesn't try to kill Darian.

The gryphon immediately lays down. I glance at the tail, noticing that it's not twitching anymore. Darian's still got that firm grip on his neck, and he says, "It's okay, Maeve. He's not going to do anything while I have him like this. You know, everyone says that gryphons are mostly bird, but if you look at how they act, they're mostly cats. They just have a lot of feathers and a beak… and a bird's head. But they're mostly cats. Maybe that doesn't make sense."

I can't help but chuckle at Darian's chaotic ramblings because I'm sold. That's a cat with wings. And a beak. And a bird's head. But it's a cat with wings. I know this because when I run my hands under the gryphon's chin, he purrs. Like the biggest cat in the world.

Darian pets his massive feathered cheeks, and the gryphon pushes against his hand. The thrumming purr only gets louder. This enormous, cow-sized creature that could shred either one of us without any trouble just wants snacks and pets, and I think this is my favorite part of my new life. First a drakeling. Now a gryphon.

If only there wasn't all this danger and death and fear, I could really get used to living in a magical world.

So when Darian lets go of the gryphon's neck, and the creature shakes his head as he gets up, a whole pile of feathers coming off, a part of me gets a little flustered. This has been the best moment in weeks, and I only got to enjoy it for a few minutes.

"Off you go, boy," Darian says. "Stay safe out there." He pats the gryphon on his hindquarters, and the gryphon turns. But before he leaves all the way, he stops and stares at me. It's like he's trying to say something, but I can't hear him.

Then he turns all the way around, and, with a running leap, his enormous wings carry him into the air. Both Darian and I watch him sail away, looking just as magical as the drakeling. "That was…"

"Incredible?" Darian offers. "Wonderful? Magical? The best bird-cat there ever was? Yes. I agree with all of that."

I nod, still watching the gryphon fly ever higher until he slowly disappears into the clouds hiding the top of Skycrest. Then Darian turns to me. "I didn't understand how good at tracking you are. You knew where the gryphon was like… like a harpy would know where I was. Maeve, that's not normal."

I shrug. "I've always been good at tracking. I could tell you how I found the gryphon if you want. It's not magic like yours. Or like Cole's. It's just something I'm good at."

Darian's eyebrow arches, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "It's more than that. And you can use whatever logic you want, but if there's not magic involved, I'll eat my shoes."

I grin because I know there's no magic involved. My mother's ring won't let me have access to any magic while I'm wearing it. "One day, when I learn to do real magic, I'll prove that it's just pure skill, Darian. Then I'll enjoy watching you eat your shoes. I've never seen someone eat shoe leather, but I bet it would be tough. Maybe your Fae teeth can handle that, though."

Darian chuckles and pats me on the shoulder. "Come on. Cole should have the fire going by now. Lee was out gathering some herbs for a nice tea. It's been too long since I've had some of her hunter's tea."

I nod to him and smile as I follow him out of the forest and back to the camp that Cole's setting up. Darian and Lee may be Fae, but they don't feel like it. Not like Cole. They're just nice people who happen to have magic. And the knowledge of how to pet gryphons.

Cole is not that. Cole… I don't know how I feel about him. Every time I think that I've gotten over my issues with him, he does something that drives me crazy. Like finding out that he's the Prince of Flames. Or that I'll have to pretend to be his fiancée.

The realization hits me like a sack of bricks. That's happening tonight. No one's said anything about it, but we're going to be in Draenyth tomorrow. We have to do this ritual tonight to make it real.

My stomach twists.

No one's been willing to explain what this betrothal magic will do or what will happen in the ritual. They just keep brushing it off as perfectly fine and safe.

"Darian," I say slowly.

He turns to look at me. I'm sure it's the tone of voice that I used that makes him stop walking. "Darian, this was all to get me away from camp while Cole sets up the ritual, wasn't it?"

The corner of his lip curls up. "It worked, didn't it?"

"Why didn't someone just tell me what it was?"

Darian shrugs and goes back to walking, his steps just as loud as any human now that he's not trying to be quiet. I run my hand over a tree branch and feel a bit of the fear fade and the knot in my stomach loosen just a little. He says, "We were planning to, but truthfully, I wanted to see the gryphon and it was just good timing. There's nothing to do until the moon is in the sky, so you'd just be antsy and frustrated for no good reason."

I shake my head slowly. Why won't they all just realize that I want to know. All of it. "Next time, please ask if I want to know or wait. Please?"

Darian chuckles. "Okay. It's a simple enough ritual, so that won't make you nervous. It's what happens after it's done that might make you a little uncomfortable."

I don't say anything, giving him plenty of time to continue and try to explain things to me. "You humans don't understand what marriage is supposed to be. You don't understand oaths either." He purses his lips as he tries to find the right words. "Maeve, marriage for Immortals is forever. We don't age, there's no divorce, and you can't remarry if a spouse dies. ‘Til death do us part' is not part of the vows. If your spouse dies, you'll feel a hole in your soul forever."

Darian hasn't been serious very often since I've met him, but he's deathly serious now. "The betrothal ritual is to show you what it will be like to be married. It's to let you have a chance to turn back before it's permanent. Because once the bond is created, there's no one in Nyth that can break it. Not even Calyr. These are the same bonds that dragons used, and they were made to be unbreakable. A true union of two souls."

I'm speechless. That seems so final for people who could live for ten thousand years. "But why?"

Darian smiles just a little, but there's still a seriousness there that seems so unfitting on him. "Because Immortals are taught from birth to keep their emotions leashed. Humans have something called love. Immortals don't know the feeling. We have honor, trust, faith, and loyalty, but love doesn't make sense to us."

I interrupt him, needing to ask a question that terrifies me. "But what about a mother's love for her children?"

"Pride, Maeve. And trust and loyalty." He says it as though there was no other explanation needed, and I guess my expression convinces him otherwise. "Legacy is why males have children. Pride is why females do. Children are planned. Well, before the Shattering, they were planned. Take Cole Cyrus, our ever-smiling friend. His father mated his mother because she was a powerful House of Steel warrior. The powers of Steel would be the perfect accompaniment to his Flames. A child with that strength would be the perfect tool to maintain his position. Thus, Cole Cyrus was born."

"Wait," I say. "Cole's mother and father aren't married?"

Darian nearly cackles with laughter. "Absolutely not. No one in their right mind would marry King Casimir. That'd be like tying your soul to a piece of molten iron and being surprised when it burned you. No, Casimir mated Cora. Then he forced her to give Cole up as soon as he was able to walk and he was obviously House of Flames. Cole barely remembers her."

Not all that different from my own life. "So if you don't understand love, then why get married?"

"Because it's guaranteed loyalty. Trusting another Immortal is not an easy thing. Everyone has a purpose behind their relationships. It is an unbreakable alliance in a world where every handshake or smile is probably a lie."

I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know if I can even comprehend it, to be honest. How could anyone decide to tie themselves to another person for possibly forever and not love them? How could they raise children without love?

"But you and Lee trust Cole, and Cole trusts you. It feels like permanently bonding your soul to someone is a little over-the-top for a little loyalty."

Darian raises an eyebrow at me. "Cole and my friendship and loyalty goes back so long that I doubt it's very common. And it started when we were children, before we were pushing for power. In nearly a thousand years, we've never expanded our circle of loyalty beyond the three of us."

I frown. A thousand years of not trusting the people around him. He built an entire village for people he doesn't let in. I guess it's not surprising that he doesn't let his walls down around me.

"How is it supposed to make me feel?" I can't help but think back on the way that the Shade made me feel. The way he'd played my body against me so easily.

Darian shrugs. "I have no idea. I've never been betrothed, and I certainly haven't been married. I just know the theory behind it, and I know that Cole is struggling with the idea of being tied to someone like that. Hence," he spreads his arms and looks around, "our delightful trip to see the gryphon."

When I'm quiet, Darian continues walking back to camp, and I let myself fall into my thoughts. Questions plague my mind as I try to weave my way through hints and puzzle pieces. It all boils down to trust. Do I trust Darian? Do I trust Cole? I run my finger over the four black marks on my wrist, and I could swear that I feel a tie to the Shade. That strangely comforting feel of him touching me.

I have to trust something or someone, and everyone that has proven to be helpful is telling me I should do this. I know that I'll die if I walk into Draenyth without a plan. Is this the only plan that will work? Is there any other way to keep me safe in a place where humans are food and my magic will put a target on my back?

I… don't know.