Chapter 69

Millie

Nine months later

“Millie, babe…” I groaned, finding Noah leaning over me. Chloe was well and truly moving towards becoming a toddler but was also going through a major sleep regression. My eyes opened unwillingly, then stared into his.

“What’s up?” That question had my pulse racing as I considered possible answers. “Where’s Chloe? Is she OK?”

“Here she is!” Knox came romping in through the door, a giggling child in his arms. “But she seems to have something on her belly. I better blow it off.” He rubbed his face into her stomach, blowing loud zerbits to the sound of her cackles. As soon as she recovered, though, she turned and reached for me.

“Ma… ma!”

“Hey, baby.” I took her from Knox and tucked her into my side, loving her little sigh as she settled against me. “Had Daddy been looking after you?”

“Dada,” she said with a definite nod.

“So, what did we have planned for today?” I asked.

The answer needed to be lazing around in bed. I’d started back at work once Chloe was six months old, just a couple days a week, but now we were ramping it up to full time. I was so damn tired.

“Well…” Noah glanced at Knox, and there was a look shared between them. “You said before our princess was born that you wanted us to remember that you were a woman, not just a mother.”

“Yeah, scratch that,” I sighed, settling back against the pillow. Chloe wiggled down next to me with a smile. She put her head on the pillow and pretended to sleep. “Mumma wants more sleep.”

“More than going with Jamie to get your nails done?”

“Jamie’s going to get her nails done?”

My head was jerked up off the pillow.

“Jay!” Chloe cried. “Jay!”

“We had to cancel date night the other night due to an emergency call out,” Noah said, “and we wanted to make it up to you.”

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“Yes, we did.” I knew that look in Knox’s eye. He was famously hard to move the moment he made a decision. “Have a shower and get ready. Jamie will be here in about thirty minutes.”

“And we’ve got a date with Cocomelon,” Noah said, reaching for our daughter.

“Coco!” she crowed, flinging herself into his arms.

Sold out for a cartoon baby. I did as Knox requested since I wanted to see what the hell my bestie had planned, only to find her sitting in my kitchen when I got dressed.

“You’re getting your nails done?” I asked.

“I’ve been researching it,” she said proudly. “French tips, gel versus acrylic.”

“Gel is a kind of nail polish,” I said, giving her a nudge. “Acrylics are like fake nails in a way…” I shook my head. “You don’t care. Why are we doing this? Don’t you want to go to a second-hand car dealership and fight with the salesmen again or something?”

“I want to because you love getting your nails done,” she told me. “So put some shoes on and grab your bag.”

“But not your card.” Knox handed over a credit card to Jamie. “I’m covering this.”

“Ooh, thanks, Daddy.” I cooed in a completely ridiculous voice. He didn’t take it that way. Instead, he drew me closer.

“You can keep that energy for later.”

Balancing a romantic relationship with three guys and a young child was hard, but we made it work. I gave him a good ole smooch, as Noah brought Chloe over.

“Kisses for Mummy!”

Her lips collided with my cheek, smelling of banana yoghurt and milk, before I ruffled her hair and promised I’d be back soon.

“So, where are we going to get our nails done?” I asked as we got into her car, secretly terrified she’d booked us into some crappy mall salon.

“Does The Gel Girl work for you?”

She shot me a sly smile as my mouth fell open.

“How…? When…?”

The salon was always booked out months in advance.

“I have my ways.” She turned the key in the ignition, the engine of the muscle car rumbling to life. “Buckle up, Buttercup, it's time to get your nails did.”

OK, I had forgotten how amazing this was. I loved my daughter with my whole heart, but being in a place where all I was expected to do was sit back and chill was just what I needed. Nobody was crying. No one needed anything from me but to sit very still. The nail artist worked fast, applying a thick acrylic base, then colour, then layers of polish over the top of that in a subtle but cute design.

“Got a busy day planned?” the nail tech asked.

“No, not at all.”

I sank into the chair, losing myself in the process and felt something unwind by increments until both Jamie and I were done.

“So how do you… do things with these?” my best friend asked. She was such a derp, flexing her fingers in an awkward way. “Like how do you pick your nose?”

She hadn’t even got very long ones, just added a modest couple of centimetres to her gnawed, short nails.

“You don’t because ew,” I replied.

“Or put a tampon in,” she continued, clacking the nails on one hand together. “Or wipe your bum.”

“I am not, and allow me to emphasise that, showing you how to wipe your arse. The fact I have to do that with one person in this world is more than enough.”

We walked past boutiques as we aimed for her car, but one in particular caught my eye. Jewel-coloured formal dresses graced one window, but it was the other I stopped in front of. A floor-length white dress with a sweetheart neckline, subtle fishtail skirt, and simple gorgeous detail had me sighing.

Turns out there was a drawback to having three boyfriends. The only way I would ever have a husband would be if I only married one of them, and while I might dream of beautiful dresses and becoming princess for a day, I could never. Instead, I smiled slightly at the dress in the window, hoping one day I got to go dress shopping with Chloe.

But Jamie figured right now would be a good idea.

“This is the boutique my mum dragged me to when Nadia got married,” she said.

“Oh god, then let's go.”

She resisted my attempt to tug her arm, instead linking our arms together, and then using it to drag me inside.

“Jamie, what are we…?”

My hissed question died when we got inside. I had been transported from the road and all the noise of traffic into a world of satin and silk. In other words, heaven. My fingers twitched, wanting to flick through racks, touch heavy fabrics of cream, ivory, and champagne.

But there was no point.

I plastered a smile on my face, ready to tell Jamie just that when a gorgeous sales assistant walked up.

“Can I help you with anything, ladies?”

“We’re looking for a wedding dress for her,” Jamie said. “A bridesmaid dress for me.”

I stared at her, wondering what the hell was going on. She shot me an impish look, the sales assistant whirling around to consult the racks.

“What sort of budget were you thinking?” the woman asked.

What the hell! I mutely screamed at Jamie to quit it. The poor woman probably got paid by commission, and she didn’t need to waste her time with us.

What? she mimed back, throwing up her hands, then dropping them when the sales assistant turned back to us.

“Budget’s pretty open at this point,” Jamie replied, forcing me to slap my forehead against my palm.

We had done things like this before. She’d come into a formalwear place with me, watch me try on dress after dress, even though I had no event to warrant buying one. Sometimes you just wanted to pretend you had a red carpet worthy life, y’know? But I never hassled the sales assistants and put everything back the way I found it on the rack. No harm, no foul.

“Are you thinking strapless, because you’ve got great shoulders.” I looked over at Jamie, but nope, the sales assistant was talking to me.

“Oh, thanks, but I?—”

“I’m thinking a fitted bodice, but not too much detailing. You’ve got great curves, but too much fussiness just adds width,” the sales assistant said.

“I was thinking the same.” My reply was an honest one, because I’d looked at wedding gowns in magazines, sorting the images into a mental yes or no bin. Looks like my bestie was going to give me another gift, to do that for real. “Maybe some boning in the bodice. My ‘curves’ need a bit of taming after giving birth to a child.”

“I hear ya,” the woman said with a smile. “How old’s your little one?”

I ended up telling her all about Chloe, but not her dads, in between trying on this dress or that. Some were too fussy, some so heavily boned I couldn’t take a full breath, and on others, the fitted bodice went too far down the body, revealing my now much softer, squishier stomach in a way that wasn’t attractive. This was just pretend, I had to remind myself, as I let out a huff of breath. The lines of this dress were gorgeous, but the chunky Swarovski crystals were doing nothing for me.

“Nope, not that one either,” the woman said, as Jamie walked out in a stunning cornflower blue dress. “I think your bridesmaid has found a winner, though.”

“Oh my god…” My fugly dress was forgotten as I shuffled closer, careful not to tread on the long train. “Jamie!”

“I scrub up alright?” She twisted and turned in the mirror. “With these nails I look like a real girl.”

“You always look like a real girl, idiot,” I said, shaking my head, then said something potentially risky. “We need to get this dress for you.”

“What?” She blinked as she stared at me.

“If only to watch my brothers swallow their tongues. Jamie…” I reached down, holding out the train of her dress like she was the bride. “You look stunning, and I…” I whipped out Knox’s credit card, the colour of it having the sales assistant’s eyes gleaming. “Have ‘Daddy’s’ credit card.”

“We can’t—” she started to say.

“We can.” I turned to the saleswoman. “We’ll take this one, thanks.”

“Millie…!” Jamie hissed as the woman went out the back to find a new one in the same size.

“Jamie…!” I grinned then. “I don’t care if you wear it to work and get it all stained with oil… Shit, yes, I do. How about we pinky swear that we’ll live a life that will mean we have to wear an amazing dress like this at some point? Maybe you’ll get an award for being an awesome mechanic. Do they do that sort of thing?”

“No,” she snorted.

“Well…” I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat. “Maybe we should buy it now in case the Australian government gets their head out of its arse and legalises polygamous marriages. I’ll need you to wear that dress as I marry my guys.”

“Yeah?” She put a hand on her hip as she cocked it. “Well, then you need to buy a wedding dress. You can… manifest it, or whatever the kids are saying these days.”

“Kids…” I bit back a laugh as the shop assistant started to walk back towards us, a garment bag in hand. “OK, deal.” I scanned the racks, now serious.

And that’s when I found it.

I’d looked at a lot of the stiff, more formal dresses, but as soon as I saw this one, I knew it was my dress. Constructed mainly of lace, it was looser, softer, perfect for a beach wedding. I could see it then, the formal church replaced in my mind with something else. The beach we all went to for walks up every evening. At first we’d put Chloe in her carrier, but now she took halting, careful steps, clinging tightly to our hands.

In my mind’s eyes, my brothers were there in the blue suits they’d had made for Nadia’s wedding. Surfers bobbed in the waves, waiting for a break as the sun started to set. Buster was milling around, a white ribbon tied in a bow around his neck. Dad was wearing a suit, tugging at his collar until Mum swept in, wearing some pretty confection in fuchsia or lavender, pulling his hands away and then she turned. They all turned to watch me walk closer.

But my focus was entirely trained on them.

My guys, dressed in suits and looking even more amazing than they usually did, our daughter in their arms. She was wearing a cute little white dress, a bow in her hair as she reached an arm out for me, beckoning me closer.

“This is quite different to the ones you were looking at,” the sales assistant said.

“It is.” I nodded sharply. “But I think this is the one.”

When I was in the changing room, I shucked the crystal dress, hanging it up neatly, but that was all just delaying tactics. In some ways, I didn’t want to try on this dress. If it was right–no, worse, perfect–then that would drive home my reality. I had everything, everything I needed.

But not this one thing I wanted.

Jamie and the saleswoman were waiting for me outside, that’s what had my hands moving, slipping the lightweight gown off the hanger, then easing down the zip. I stepped into it, feeling the same thing I felt when I realised that the guys were the only ones for me. That this was perfect, right.

My reflection said the same thing.

The dress skimmed over my curves, nipping in at the waist, then flaring out in soft, delicate folds made of hundreds of dollars of lace. For the first time since I got pregnant, I felt it: that I was beautiful, the princess that I always wanted to be, and that I didn’t want to have to choose between this dress and the guys.

“How’d you go?”

I didn’t want the sales assistant to whisk the curtain back. I didn’t want the two of them to gasp, staring at me open-mouthed. I didn’t want this to be the most perfectly imperfect moment. We were just having fun today, and I… I had to make it into something it could never be.

“That one.” Jamie pointed a shaking finger at me. “We’re grabbing it.” She didn’t even wait for a confirmation from me, turning towards the saleswoman. “Ring them both up. We’re taking them.”

“Just one thing.” All of the professional calm of the woman was fractured then as she plucked a clip from a stand of hair ornaments. “Do you mind?”

She gestured to my hair and suddenly I understood, knowing what her clever fingers would do before they did it. My hair was twisted at the back, little tendrils left to fall around my face as she gave me a loose bun. It was the perfect look for a beach wedding, soft, feminine, but also with a kind of effortless elegance.

“There…”

She stepped back and left me to stare at my reflection. Our reflection, Jamie coming to stand beside me, the two of us transformed.

That’s when I saw what a gift this day was. The guys were right, it had reminded me I was more than a pair of aching boobs and strong arms to hold my baby. I was still Chloe’s mum, but I was also Jamie’s friend, Charlie’s, Noah’s, and Knox’s partner.

I was Millie, who had almost everything she’d ever dreamed of.

As if to mark that, the roar of several muscle cars had me looking out the window. I blinked, unable to believe what I was seeing. Brock was behind one, a white ribbon attached to the windshield, fluttering as he came to a standstill by the shop window, revving the engine. He was wearing that same damn suit I’d imagined him in, Hayden sitting in the passenger side seat, his arm hanging over the door. Hunter was in the back, waving madly, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Just in time,” the sales woman said. “You did well.”

“Just in time for what?” I asked, because another car turned up, then another, parking outside the shop. “Jamie, just in time for what?”

“The guys have been planning this for some time,” she told me, flushing bright red. “They knew you always wanted to have your princess-for-a-day moment. Well, they did when I told them, so…”

“C’mon, Mills!” Hunter appeared in the doorway. “We’re losing the sun, and the celebrant will only be there for so long!”

“Celebrant?” I gasped.

“Let's ring these dresses up before she loses it.” Jamie snatched the credit card from my limp fingers, then handed it over to the woman. Our street clothes were bundled up and bagged, then my best friend took my hand, drawing me out of the shop and into the cars beyond.

“Oh, darling…” Mum exclaimed as I slid into the backseat of the car Dad was driving. “You look…” Her hands waved frantically as her eyes filled with tears.

“No crying, love,” Dad said in a gruff voice. “You don’t want panda eyes for the photographs.”

“Photographs?” I asked in a faintly hysterical voice.

“Ma!” Chloe announced, waving her arms around. “Ma!”

“Hey, baby.” I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then pulled back to see the cute little white dress someone had put her in. “What the hell have your daddies been up to?”

“‘Ell!” she agreed.

“Time to find out, love.” Dad winked at me in the rear vision mirror. “Buckle up now.”