Chapter 24

Millie

“Oh well, you’re going to need vitamins.”

If Mum was in a flap before this, she was verging on hysterical now. I’d disposed of the test, discreetly shoving it into a bag into the wheelie bin as Mum shooed Dad back outside, but now we were back in the kitchen, my mother was yanking open cupboards and drawers, not stopping until she produced a container of vitamins.

“You’ll need proper preg?—”

“Shh…!” I shot a sidelong look at the screen door, but the guys were still standing around the barbeque talking shit. “Less of the preggo talk right now.” I opened the container and popped one of the vitamins to keep her happy. “I’m… I’m not ready to tell the boys yet. I…” My hands planted on the granite countertop; the cool stone somewhat comforting. I felt better and worse all at the same time because the nausea had died down to nothing, but it was replaced by some kind of existential chaos that had my head spinning. “I need some time before those idiots start thumping their chests and threatening to kill the guy…” Shit, I nearly said guys. “That knocked me up.”

“So is he anyone we know?”

Jamie was trying really hard not to hit me with twenty questions, but I knew that gleam in her eye. No doubt she was imagining some kind of double dating scenario where my guy came to hang out with hers while we did girl talk, but she had no idea how that’d go. Knox talking to Brock, seeing who could be the grumpiest? Charlie winning everyone over with that smile. And Noah? I half wanted to protect him, and the other half of me wanted him to man up and put my brothers in their place.

But that was never going to happen.

A pregnancy after a one-night stand? The guys obviously wanted to end the year with a bang, and I just happened to be there. Damn, maybe they did this kind of shit all the time. It was hard to imagine Noah being the kind of guy that would size up a girl, ply her with some drinks and then put her in the middle of a delicious foursome on the regular, but perhaps the change in him was more than skin deep. Whatever their motivation, I was pretty sure none of them had a breeding kink so deep they’d want to step up and be the daddy.

“Maybe.” I shrugged. “I don’t know everyone that you know.”

Jamie’s eyes narrowed because my attempt at throwing her off the scent was transparent.

“As long as you know who he is.” Mum set her vegetable chopper down. “Because you’re going to need to tell him.”

“No—”

“Amelia.” That long stare, my full name, it made clear where she stood. Mum’s grip on the knife handle helped drive home her point. “He deserves to know.”

“So he can tell me to piss off.” My tone was sharp, too sharp when talking to my mother, but I couldn’t seem to modulate it. “That he wants me to get rid of it. Mum, it was a one-night stand.” She flinched at that, which wasn’t as satisfactory as I thought it would be. “He’s not going to want to have this shit dumped on him.”

“It’s not shit,” she said. I shook my head, focussing back on the potato salad, squirting mayo all over the creamy chunks. “It’s not.” She moved closer, standing by my side and waiting until I looked up before she continued. “It’s a baby.”

“I know it’s?—”

“And a man deserves to know he’s going to become a father, even if he chooses not to be in that child’s life.”

I didn’t want that. Words could not describe how much I didn’t want that. Getting rejected by a guy because the vibes were off? That was me he was pushing aside, but… I looked down. My baby? I didn’t want to give any of them the chance to push my child aside, ever.

But I got my hard head from someone, and it wasn’t Dad, so I met my mother’s eyes and nodded.

“OK, fine.”

“Good, and when you do you can ask him if he’d like to come over for dinner.”

“I am not doing that,” I said. Jamie started to smirk and then stifled it. “Mum, I am not?—”

“He might be a nice boy. You don’t know.” Dear god, my mother was concocting a whole story in her head around the father of my child. “He might be a good husband and a father.”

“Jesus, Mum?—”

Her eyes bore into mine as her hand hovered over the salad ingredients.

“You’d be surprised at how many of the adults you know got together in similar circumstances. Your grandparents for one.”

“Oh my god!” I yelped, grabbing the salad tongs, really not wanting to imagine my nana romping in the sheets with my grandfather and getting pregnant with Mum. “I will literally pay you to stop this line of conversation.”

“That’s another thing: money.” I started vigorously mixing the mayo into the potato chunks as Mum went on. “What’re you going to do? The pub is being rebuilt and?—”

“I’d rather lick my own arse than go back to work for Jim,” I finished for her.

Jamie started to laugh. “Is that even physically possible?”

“I’ll give it a red hot go if working for Jim is the only option,” I replied.

“And hospitality jobs don’t often have very good options when it comes to maternity leave,” Mum continued. “If you got a nice, safe, government job like I suggested…”

I let out a long sigh. We had been having this argument since I left school, but when I went to reply in the same way I always did, I stopped. Brent, standing there and asking me if I wanted to take over from Judy while Rhett stood at his shoulder. I’d dismissed it at the time, not wanting to spend another second at the station, but now…

Never show a moment’s weakness in front of Heather McDonald.

I caught the intent look in her eye. She saw that pause and was about to pounce, but I got in first.

“I’ll see what I can find. I’ve been doing some bartending work at a pub in the city. Plenty of government workers there. I’ll ask around.”

Seeing Mum deflate was somewhat alarming. When the fight went out of her, something else replaced it, something emotional.

“I just…” Oh shit. I shot a look at Jamie, and we both moved in closer as tears formed in my mother’s eyes. “I just…” Mum looked up at me, and the pain there had me pulling her in a hug. “I just want you looked after and safe. You’ll discover what that’s like when you have your child.”

I would. That thought threatened the artificial calm I was working with right now, because I could almost see them. A little boy with bright blond hair like Charlie. A girl with all of my attitude and some of Knox’s too. Or a child with Noah’s soulful eyes, staring straight up at me. That had me nodding slowly, understanding something Mum said often in a whole other light.

“I know and I appreciate it, but…” I pulled back, forcing myself to smile, because I couldn’t do this here. In the sanctity of my own place I’d scream, cry, rant, and then accept what was happening, where I wouldn’t have a very concerned audience. “Let’s stop talking about babies .” I whispered the last word. “You’re gonna make Jamie start gagging.”

“Don’t worry about me.” The steady look my bestie gave me made clear I might not be alone when I lost my shit at my place. “Worry about you.”

“But you hate all this shit,” I said.

“The idea of me having kids? Gag.” She demonstrated that way too realistically, my already touchy stomach lurching. “But yours? I’m here for you, always, Mills. You know that, and anyway, I’ll be a killer auntie.”

“You will.” Jesus, Mum was starting to cry again, but this time I couldn’t seem to hold back. Neither could Jamie as she wiped them away as soon as they came. “Millie will be an amazing mother and I’ll be… I’ll be…”

“I’ll be what?”

Dad walked inside with a look of concern, toting a massive platter of cooked meat.

“I’ll be a silly sausage, getting all worked up over having the family together for Christmas,” Mum lied smoothly, visibly calming herself.

“Oh, love…”

What would it be like to have a guy who walked over, set his burdens down, and picked up yours? Because that’s what my dad did. He hugged her close, cradling her against his body, and for the first time ever, I was jealous of my own parents. She had a man to cling to, who told her he’d make everything alright, and he would. Dad would move heaven and earth for my mother, whereas I struggled to get a second date.

They just didn’t make guys like my dad anymore.

“Everything OK?” Brock came in and sized up the situation like he always did to work out what needed to be done.

“Mum’s just having a moment,” I explained. Hunter and Hayden strolled in afterwards, looking confused. “Now, how about you idiots put the prawns Jamie expertly deveined on the barbie?”

“Anything for you, babe.”

Hunter ignored me and went over to Jamie, kissing the top of her head before taking the bowl from her.

“What, including letting me touch you with raw prawn fingers?” she asked, wiggling them at him.

“Ew, no! What kind of savage woman did we saddle ourselves with, boys?”

“The best kind.”

Hayden went behind Jamie, cuddling her in close, and right when she relaxed, his hands wrapped around her wrists. She struggled, they fought as he dragged her over to the sink and forced her to wash up.

“Different year, same chaos,” Brock said, coming to stand by my side.

“It’s beginning to look a lot like a McDonald Christmas,” I replied.