Chapter Thirty-Two

Last night with Abdiel was everything I needed.

I know it had only been a day since he fucked me for the first time, but said day was full of turmoil so strong it was like having teeth pulled.

After telling Abdiel the truth about me and Lars, the drama with Rhiannon, finding out about Drake’s betrayal and all the anguish that always beats me over the head when it comes to him, I wanted nothing more than to hold on to my headboard with white knuckles and get fucked within an inch of my life.

And as sweet as he is, my prince certainly has no shortage of filthy desires and wanton dominance hiding within his strapping young body. He was all too eager to oblige his King.

Honestly, I had trouble walking when I first woke up this morning.

Yet for all that satiating, I’m still brewing uncertainty inside.

I asked Abdiel for a devotion last night. But the truth is that I don’t only need it from him.

Things are tense as the day moves on. I’m getting odd looks from just about everyone in the Regnum, shy of the Tribe, because they know better. But Gina and Paul in particular…

I overheard them wondering why Abdiel has been spending so much time with me lately… Why he came into the lounge last night while we were talking with Rhiannon and then disappeared until early this morning.

I feel really bad. I don’t like lying as it is, but to my family, especially the guardians of my Domestic, whom I’ve fallen head over heels in love with, it’s hard. My mind is just as much of a clusterfuck as my heart. It was so bad I actually told Gina I’d be skipping dinner tonight.

I’ve spent most of the day wandering around the lake, just thinking. I’m purposely avoiding Abdiel. I don’t want to make this decision any harder on him. What if he chooses not to dedicate himself to me? What if he decides it’s too much, loving someone who is also madly in love with his evil brother?

And then Drake… What is there to do about him?

I haven’t seen him since he stalked off yesterday, and I assume he’s up on the mountain somewhere. Doing things he thinks he needs to do to protect me. And of course, I feel responsible. Not that I ever asked him to kill for me, but Drake’s that kind of person.

I made him promise never to leave me. He thinks this is the way to do it…

Maybe he’s right.

And who could forget the most confounding of my immediate problems… The prisoner.

I can’t hold her in there forever. It’s been a full day, and I’m already going out of my mind with guilt. This isn’t the same as the other trespassers and thieves we’ve held. For as much of a pain in the ass that she is, Rhiannon is Abdiel’s friend. He believed in her enough to bring her here.

I have a responsibility to her, too.

Last night, or early this morning, actually, when Abdiel was lying on my chest, regaling me with all the details of his journey we didn’t get to discuss the other night, he told me about how they met.

In the clearing… The girl tried to kill herself.

I know better than to assume she would have tried it anywhere else in the world. That clearing is something I’ve purposefully kept guarded, even within myself, for decades.

But I’m not sure that’s the right approach anymore.

I didn’t want to admit it before, or think about it in any real way, since she’s been carrying herself like a blatant foe of mine since the moment she set foot in front of me, but I’ve sensed an off-handed kinship with Rhiannon. A force of something holding us together that I can’t rationalize or truly understand.

And I don’t think that can be avoided any more either.

Coming back from my walk, when I’m sure dinner is over, I saunter toward the Den right as Lauris is stepping outside. I give her an easy smile, because Lauris has always been the one of my wives I know I can trust. She’s dedicated, loyal, smart, and everything I look for in a partner, which is why I married her first. Well, that and because her thoughts always gave away her utter lack of interest in my dick.

Lauris and I suffer from the same sorts of insecurities surrounding our sexual preferences. Though hers were more about being unsure of what she wanted until we tried to have sex one night, drunk and fumbling around like two gay morons. Needless to say, it didn’t work, and she’s been in love with Gem since basically the day I married the tiny redhead.

That’s the biggest pinpoint here. Not only do I owe it to myself and my family to be honest about who I am, but I really owe it to my wives. They deserve to have relationships, real ones, if they want. They don’t deserve the sneaking around and secret affairs they’re forced to engage in to protect my reputation.

After all, my reputation doesn’t mean shit without the love of my family.

Lauris stops walking when she’s in front of me, folding her arms over her chest. Naturally, I know what she’s about to ask before the words leave her lips.

“Are you alright?” The concern on her face gives me the warm and fuzzies. And then it makes me feel like an asshole. Because of all the lying.

I nod first. It’s a habit to act like everything is good, one I really need to break.

So I shake my head instead, rubbing my eyes with my fingers. “I’m tired, Lauris. I’m so fucking tired of wearing this mask.”

Gazing over the foot of space between us, I watch her forehead line as she reaches out and brushes my hair with her fingers. “Then take it the fuck off.”

“I’m terrified that if I do, everything around me will crumble.” My confession. The first time I’ve ever said this out loud.

“Your highness…” she breathes, squeezing my shoulder. “You can always rebuild from rubble. Don’t forget that.”

Something comes over me, and I grab her, pulling her in for a hug, damn near squeezing the air out of her. But it just makes her chuckle while she wraps her arms around my waist, holding me back.

“Do you love him?” She mumbles into my neck.

My first instinct is to freeze, because even if we know things about each other, we’ve never discussed it out loud.

How much time have I spent hiding? Covering up my truths because I’m afraid?

How much of that was Drake’s fault…?

“Which one?” I mutter, unable to keep the grin off my lips as she gasps, pulling back to give me an outraged smile, jaw hanging agape. I can’t help but laugh.

“You’re not as regal as they think you are, are you?” She teases.

I wink at her. “None of us are. That’s the point.”

I made a decision.

I’m still unsure if it’s a good one, but good or not, it’s definitely necessary.

Wandering in the dark, I ignore the eyes on me. The way the trees curve with the winds, as if they too are gawking, wondering what the hell I’m doing.

I wish I knew, guys.

At the door, I stop to take in a long breath, preparing myself. Then I open it, stepping inside the small shack, bending to pull on the trapdoor. I trot down the steps into the icy darkness. It’s almost seventy degrees outside at midnight, yet down here it feels like winter.

Mother, please forgive me. Guide me on this path.

The sound of my boots clomping on the cement travels, erasing the silence from a moment ago. And once I get to the last cell, I peer in between the bars.

I’m not sure what I expected to see. The girl digging into the ground, attempting to burrow her way out. Or her lying on the floor, miserable and on the verge of death. Maybe sobbing, openly weeping for freedom.

What I don’t expect, however, is what’s happening, which is her doing a headstand.

I’m not even exaggerating. She’s on her head.

Propped against the wall, for assisted balance I’m guessing. But I find myself tilting my own head to observe her face. Her eyes are closed, and when she opens them, she simply blinks at me.

Head Priest… She thinks.

I’m momentarily floored at her calling me that. Her thoughts don’t even sound sarcastic.

“What are you doing?” I ask, unable to hide the amusement in my tone.

She gracefully pushes herself off the wall, flipping onto her hands and knees. Then she scoots over to the bars, sitting on the floor while she gazes up at me.

“I was doing yoga, and then it somehow turned into… that.” She shakes her head subtly. “What are you doing here?”

Letting out a long sigh, I take a seat on the ground by her side, with only the steel bars separating us. “I came to speak with you. Because you’re my guest, and I know next to nothing about you.”

“Yea, well… you never tried,” she mumbles, not sounding as accusatory as I’m sure she was going for.

“Neither did you.” I fold my hands in my lap.

Point well made, she thinks.

“Rhiannon.” I turn to face her better. She does the same. “I’m sure you’ve picked up on this by now, but Empyrean is more than just a high that opens your mind’s eye to all sorts of things you may have never considered. Its power lies in the breaking down of walls. The light it sheds on our fellow humans.”

She blinks over wide eyes, glistening in the low light of only a couple lanterns. “Because of the telekinesis?”

“Yes, but it’s more than just that, too,” I explain. “Being completely exposed is something many of us find… difficult. I know I’m one of them. For a long time, the only person I’ve ever been vulnerable to, by choice, was my brother. And then Abdiel… And now you.”

I watch her swallow, her nerves making themselves visible.

“How did you feel when you found out we were listening to your thoughts? It was unnerving, wasn’t it?” I lift my brow in question.

She nods. “Yea. To say the least.”

“But once you get past that part, it’s freeing. For example, right now, all my secrets are bared to you. It’s a power unlike anything else. It’s godlike, Rhiannon. What you have in your mind right now…”

“Is empyrean,” she finishes my thought, and a small smirk graces my lips as I nod.

“Exactly.”

We sit in silence for a moment, listening to one another, thinking about the power exchange, the control we both possess together.

Her eyes lift to mine, riddled with unease. “You were vulnerable to someone before… and not by choice. Weren’t you?”

My gut crawls up into my chest, and I have to clench my jaw to stop the desire to curl into a ball and hide. But I do, stop it.

I force myself to sit up taller, and confess, “I was raped by my foster father when I was fifteen.”

Rhiannon’s eyes go round. The empathy in her mind seems to wrap around me, like arms.

“That’s why Drake killed him…” she whispers. I can do nothing more than nod.

And then smile, a chuckle leaving my lips as I look down, shaking my head. “Honestly, I should’ve known. Maybe I didn’t want to think about it… As soon as he told me we had to leave, my main priority became surviving with him. I didn’t care about a single other thing. Loving him consumed me for a long, long time.”

She nods along, praising what Drake did in her thoughts. It’s familiar… It reminds me of how I felt yesterday when I found out what he’d done to Dan.

Being avenged. She loves the idea. She wants it herself…

I try not to think about it too long, because I don’t want her to feel cornered, since she’s in a cell and all, but I’m picking up on all the familiarities now. Many things are clicking into place.

And so, I keep talking to her. Because I think she needs it. “He used to pay me extra attention… my foster father. And truthfully, I liked it. I never had a father… So this father figure, I thought it was what I’d been missing. No matter how wrong it felt at times, how wrong I knew it was… the alone time, the lingering touches… I held onto it. I was in denial. I didn’t want to give up my father, no matter what. I mean, I wasn’t that young, and I’m not stupid. I knew he wasn’t supposed to touch me like that. But I just… couldn’t stop wanting it. Even when I hated it, I just couldn’t stop feeling like it was… the only way.”

Scoffing to myself, I press my back against the wall, dropping my head to it. I’m surprised when I hear Rhiannon relating to what I’m saying. Her thoughts are practically nodding along, commiserating.

“Anyway, that night, the night Drake and I left, that was the first time he got, like… aggressive. Really aggressive. He waited until Drake was asleep, then told me to come into his room, which had happened before. Said he wanted to talk about football, wanted some company.” I roll my eyes at the black ceiling, recalling these details I choose never to think about, though they’re always in my skull. “He got my guard down and tied me to his headboard with a fucking zip tie, then stuffed something into my mouth, some cloth. I’m not even sure what it was… A sock or a tie.” My gaze goes far away for a moment. “It tasted like fabric softener.”

I blink and gust out a rough breath. “He fucked me. He fucked me until I was bleeding, then he cut me loose and dragged me into the bathroom naked, shoved me into the shower and told me to get cleaned up. And that was it…”

I trace the dirt on the floor with my fingers. “That was the last night of his life… And I guess the first night of mine. My life… living with that. Because it’s been twenty-five years, Rhiannon, and I still live with it. I never won’t.”

The silence stretches for miles. Not an uncomfortable one, though. It’s a weighted silence, heavy with all my words. My truths.

Darian… Her voice speaks to me in the open air of her thoughts. My neck curls until I’m looking at her, giant orbs of teal shining at me.

She wets her lips. “I… I…” Then her voice dissolves while she shivers in place. She wants to tell me her own truth.

I turn my body toward hers, sitting cross-legged on the hard floor. “You have to know this one thing: nothing happens by accident. For a long time, I wondered why something like that would be a part of my existence… Part of the plan for my life. I questioned why any God would let such vile things happen. And that’s when Drake and I realized, it’s the balance. Good for evil, Rhiannon. God did that to me because She knew I could handle it.” I pause and grin. “Well, with Drake by my side, at least.”

She chuckles, a tear sliding down her cheek, gaze locked on mine. She doesn’t move to wipe it or hide it. There’s no point. We’re open with each other right now, and honestly, it feels fantastic.

“You’re a King, Darian,” she whispers. “Born in blood.”

“Coming from you,” I lean in closer to the bars, “That’s the ultimate compliment.”

She giggles again, and we stare at one another while she builds up to it. I give her time, as much as she needs.

It doesn’t feel like long, but it could be hours for all I know until she mumbles, “My stepfather… he…” Her voice goes out again, and I don’t make any moves, I give no encouragement. I just sit and wait. “He raped me.”

Her head falls forward, and she rubs her temples. My heart tries to jump out of me and go to her, to soothe her because I know exactly how much gut-churning discomfort is eating at her right now.

“I’ve never told anyone that before,” she breathes, face aiming back up to mine. I nod, watching as she reaches forward, gripping the bars in her fists. I do the same, covering her hands with mine. “Six months before graduation, he… came into my room when my mom was out. I never liked him, and I knew there was a reason. I never fucking trusted him, and I was right.”

Nodding again, I keep quiet. I give her empathy in my thoughts. I give her my strength in our joined hands. At this point, we’re so close the bars may as well not even be here.

“My mom never cared that I hated him,” she huffs. “All she cares about is money, success. Showing off to her silicone-stuffed friends. She never stopped to consider why I was suddenly depressed and desperate to live on campus at school. And of course, he paid for my apartment in Seattle. He has a fucking key.”

My eye twitches with rage. “He has a fucking key to your place?”

She nods, solemnly. She looks so small in this moment. It’s apparent how petite she is, like a baby bird I just want to hold in my palms, petting gently until she’s ready to fly.

“I tried to change the locks once.” She glances at the floor. “That didn’t go over well…”

“So you ran away?” I ask, head cocked right while I watch her closely, reading her thoughts in between her story. A story we share, yet hers is her own.

All of ours are.

“I was supposed to go home for the weekend to spend time with him and my mom,” she tells me, her hands settling beneath mine. “He’d already been texting me, and I was sick to my stomach at the thought of seeing him. So instead of driving home, I took a different drive. It took me a while to get to the mountain. I’ve never been a big hiker, but I swear I walked for five hours until I found that clearing.”

At mention of the clearing, both of our thoughts immediately go to Drake. I watch her face as it flushes, and she tries not to think about something. She’s trying to hide it from me… her attraction to him.

“Rhiannon,” I murmur, inching in closer, “Don’t feel bad about being drawn to him. Don’t feel guilty for wanting him. Everyone does… It’s just part of what makes him the Serpent. Temptation is his thing.”

She blinks hard, her head spinning, visibly to me. “Darian, I’m so sorry.” Her chin wobbles. “I have to apologize… I caused a huge mess for you guys.”

“Water under the bridge,” I assuage. “I mean, sure, you weren’t easy, but what kind of leader would I be if I couldn’t handle a little insurgence from a total stranger?”

She grins. “You’re a true leader. I see that now.”

Letting go of her hands, I stand as her forehead creases. She misses my touch. I have to chuckle at it.

She’s cute, this kid. I don’t know what that means, or where that leaves us, but it feels good to have another ally.

Pulling a key from my pocket, I unlock the cell, opening the door for her. She doesn’t dive through it like I thought she might. She gives me a wary look, questioning my forgiveness.

So skeptical, stray princess, I purse my lips to cover my grin.

She lets out a small laugh, then does something I really wasn’t expecting. She lunges at me, hugging onto my shoulders with all her tiny might. I’m much taller, and wider than she is, but she still almost knocks me over with her force.

She’s a fierce one.

“Now what?” She asks, lips brushing my neck as she does.

“Well, you’re here, Rhiannon,” I rumble into her. “So I’m going to request something of you… something I’ve asked of everyone in my Regnum. Your loyalty. I need a guarantee that you’re here to stay.”

“Here to stay…” she whispers, her tone draped in awe.

“This isn’t something you can just drop out of in six months if you don’t like it, like Business School.” I pet her long, silky hair. “You don’t get to leave me.”

“No one leaves?” Now she sounds shocked.

“No. No one leaves,” I reply, firmly. “I’m a possessive King. My Mother made me that way.”

She nods as she pulls back, the saucers of her eyes locked on me. For the first time since I met her, she’s on Team Darian. I hear her thoughts, practically pledging my allegiance.

This talk we’ve just had, opening up to one another, and finding out how much we have in common… It gave me a new piece to my puzzle.

I have to appreciate it, even if it’s something I never expected.

The thought brings on an idea. My next questionable one…

Something needs to be done.

“I’m calling a meeting.” I take her hand in mine and pull her out of the cell, toward the steps.

“A meeting?” She’s nervous.

She should be.

“A meeting in the woods.”