Chapter Twenty-Six

Dinner tonight is awkward, for a myriad of different reasons.

First off, Rhiannon and I are dining with Darian and the wives. I’m not serving the dinner, I’m eating it, and that on its own is beyond bizarre.

Also, having Rhiannon here seems to be setting Darian on edge. He doesn’t trust her. I get that. Apparently, the feeling is mutual, because Rhiannon is like a dog with a bone. She’s convinced Darian is up to no good.

When she found out he has five wives? Forget about it.

“Abdiel, he’s using you,” she said while we were getting ready for dinner. “He’s in a position of power. He convinced all these women to marry him for his own selfish reasons, and now he’s doing the same thing to you.”

“You sound jealous.” I’d given her a pointed look.

We’re friends, but still. She’s a new friend. I’ve known Darian all my life, and I’ve been in love with him for a while, even if we did just start hooking up. He’s a part of my world, ingrained in who I am. She’s wrong about him, and I just wish she could see that.

But she’s triggered, and it’s very uncomfortable for all of us.

We sat down for dinner pretty much knowing it would be tense. And it certainly has been, worsened by the fact that I can hear everyone’s thoughts.

Gina is onto us. Not exactly, but she knows something is up. She’s wondering why I’m eating dinner at the table I’ve served for years as she and the other Domestics serve our meals and replenish the drinks.

The wives are wondering the same thing. Kiara and Alissa are jealous of Rhiannon. They don’t even think twice about me, whereas Emithel and Lauris seem keen to Darian’s homosexual tendencies. I can barely even eat, or look in his direction, for fear they’ll see the eyes I give him and call us both out.

Rhiannon is quiet the entire time, seething about our little disagreement from earlier. She also happened to pick up on some of the tension between Drake and me when we visited him at the lab, and now she’s convinced there’s shady shit going on in The Principality.

What she doesn’t know is that it has nothing to do with our family or our community. It’s the three of us who are tying each other up into knots, lying and hiding things, from each other and the rest of the Regnum.

And then there’s Darian. I feel awful for bringing all this stress into his home and laying it all on his table. He just missed me so badly, as much as I missed him, and all he wanted was to celebrate my return with lots of kissing and touching.

But instead, we’re dealing with the Rhiannon stuff. He’s tense as hell, wondering what to do about her, listening to her half-cocked theories about him while sitting there trying to keep a polite face.

So by the time dinner is over and everyone retreats, I feel immensely guilty. Darian goes up to his bedroom and slams the door. I flinch as he does, my heart aching to run up there and be with him. The fact that I can’t is making me nuts.

We meander around for a bit afterward, talking with the Domestics. Rhiannon seems to be getting along with Gem and Emithel, and they take her around the Den, giving her a tour while I talk to Gina. I’m working a day shift tomorrow, which will be good. Believe it or not, I’m excited to get back to work after all the craziness we experienced up on that mountain.

I need some stability.

As the house goes quiet, and the Domestics all retreat to their trailers for the night, I take Rhiannon outside to talk.

“Look, Rhi, I’m so happy you’re here, you know that,” I start while we walk down to the lake, “But you have to lay off Darian.” She looks like she wants to protest, but I cut her off before she can. “It’s hard enough for him knowing he’s disappointing his family by not being able to give them an heir. But to be made to feel like he’s doing something wrong by being with me… It kills him. He already carries so much guilt.”

She gives me a wide-eyed stare, considering what I’ve said. “I’m sorry, Abdiel, but I just… I’ve seen it enough times to know. If he wants to do right by you and his family, he needs to tell the truth.”

“Okay, well that’s something he’ll do on his own time,” I sigh. “You’re not making it any easier.”

“He doesn’t need it to be easy,” she says. “Tough love time for the Head Priest. And I’m not talking about him coming out. I mean getting rid of the wives.”

“Yea, well, I think most of them know his situation, anyway.” I rake my fingers through my hair.

“You seem really stressed.” She squeezes my arm. “Oh, Abdiel, I’m so sorry. I don’t want to upset you. You’re the only friend I have at this point. I know I’m skeptical of a lot, but you weren’t wrong about this place. It’s amazing…”

She says this, though I can hear her thinking about how we all seem brainwashed. She’s just so damn suspicious of it all, and I’m not sure what would help her see that we’re not full of shit.

“I’m gonna crash.” I give her a quick hug. “You remember how to get back to my trailer?”

She nods. “Yea. I’m fine. Go, get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

We go our separate ways, and I head inside, to the lounge. I change into sweatpants and a t-shirt, getting settled in the giant bed. It’s strange to be sleeping in here, in the open. For people to know I’m here is odd, and I think it’s part of what has Gina on high alert. I mean, I could have just slept in their trailer, or at Jordan’s.

Darian so quickly insisted I sleep here—in the lounge too, not even in the guest bedroom—and my heart wants to believe it’s because he’s done hiding.

Maybe he really wants to figure out how to tell people about us.

I don’t know… My thoughts are scattered, making it virtually impossible to get any rest. I’ve been lying here for hours, staring at the window. Partially drawn curtains hang around the view out to the lake, and I remember the night I peeked in here like a total weirdo. I remember it like it was yesterday, though it has only been a few weeks.

Still, it’s hard to believe how much has changed since that night. The night I found out the truth and inserted myself into something I would now die before giving up. It’s so complicated between the three of us, but I can’t find it in myself to regret anything.

I love Darian, and I think I love Drake, too. I wish they could admit they love each other.

When I’m sure I’ve been lying awake for three hours, no sign of slumber in sight, I decide I can’t take it anymore. Sliding out of bed, I creep to the door, opening it slowly and peering around the hallway for signs of anyone.

The entire house is quiet.

Leaving the room, I tiptoe up the hall, toward the stairs. I know there are guards by the front door on patrol, but they wouldn’t hear me from over here, so long as I’m very quiet. I sneak up the steps, taking two at a time to ensure I don’t make any noise. Then I hold my breath as I pass the other bedrooms, reaching Darian’s last. The largest bedroom in the house, the master, all the way at the end of the hall.

Twisting the doorknob, I pray it’s not locked. It isn’t.

Slinking inside, I close the door softly, locking it behind me. Finally, I can breathe again, letting out a long one I’d been keeping in while I look over the room.

It’s massive. Probably as big as the sitting room downstairs, and equally fancy. All the furniture is large; dark tones, a regal elegance to every detail.

It fits Darian perfectly. Of course, I’ve been in here before, cleaning. But never in that bed…

The bed where he’s lying beneath his comforter, a giant lump in the middle of the mattress. I see him stir. He must have heard me come in.

Wandering up to the bed, I waste no time lifting the covers and sliding in next to him where he lies, wearing only boxers, his smooth skin available to me.

His scent hits me immediately, enveloping me in his warmth; the masculine smell of his flesh and the soap he uses. Sweet and fiery, like hemp, amber, and lush leather.

His back is to me, so I slip my arms around his waist, pulling myself as close as humanly possible, until my chest melts into his muscular back.

He eases himself into me, awakening more from his slumber to recognize it’s not a dream, a long hum leaving him while I press my lips to the nape of his neck.

“My Prince Abdiel,” he whispers, then spins in my arms. “What took you so long?”

“I wasn’t sure…” My voice is gruff, hesitant. “If you were upset with me…”

“I could never be so upset I wouldn’t want to see you.” He cups my jaw with his large hand. “That I wouldn’t crave your body against mine.”

“I missed you so badly, my King.” Impatiently, I press my lips to his.

No more waiting. No more hiding. I just need him, now. Right fucking now.

Darian kisses me brutally, holding my head still as his lips devour mine, sucking in between nipping me with his teeth until a chill runs all over my body. His tongue glides in to meet mine, and we both hum, licking and lapping at one another, reuniting the way we should have earlier if it hadn’t been for my unnecessary drama.

Guilt weighs on my chest like a sack of potatoes. The fact that I kissed someone who isn’t him only yesterday has me trembling, and not with arousal.

“Abdiel,” he whimpers into my mouth. “Please come back to me. Stay with me, baby.”

“I’m so sorry, Darian.” I pry my lips away from his. “I need to tell you something…”

I witness his jaw flex, eyes dark in this light, almost black. It’s a bit frightening, if I’m being honest.

“I know,” he mumbles, breaking our stare for a moment. “I know you kissed the girl…”

My lashes flutter at him. “You already know?”

“I can hear both of your thoughts, Abdiel… Remember?” A small, reluctant smirk crosses his lips as he scoffs.

“Oh…” I mutter, feeling immensely foolish. “Right.”

“Do you… love her?” He asks, his tone cracking my heart in half.

He doesn’t sound like my King in this moment… He sounds like a child. Insecure and afraid, and I hate that I’ve made him sound that way. I did this to him…

I’m a piece of shit.

“I don’t think so.” I take his hand in mine, locking our fingers. “Not like I love you…”

He shudders, forehead dropping forward to rest on my shoulder, nuzzling his lips in the crook of my neck. “I can’t lose you, my prince. I can’t lose both of you…”

Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I hold him close to me, kissing his head, his cheeks, his jaw, then finally, he gives me his lips once more. Our kisses are slow, sensual and intense, confessing of feelings we don’t need to speak out loud. They’re here, rushing between us like a waterfall.

I need you, baby, I tell him, sucking his mouth raw.

I need you more. He tugs at my shirt, yanking it over my head and tossing it, coming back to my mouth instantly, like a magnetic force is pulling him to me. I feel the same way.

He places his hand on my chest, gripping my pectoral muscle while my heart bangs beneath his palm. Our lips glide and tumble, tongues tasting, teeth biting in urgent need.

Running my hands down his back to his ass, I grasp and squeeze, full and round in my hands while I bring him closer. He grinds against me, his erection stiff as it writhes on my own, sending an eager throb to my balls I haven’t felt since that last night in the woods.

“You’re so precious to me, baby,” he says with his other hand in my hair, tugging, keeping me still to kiss me steady. “I’m jealous, of course I am. I want you all to myself.”

“What about Drake?” I breathe over his lips, slipping my hands into his boxers, feeling the smooth skin that covers the rock-hard muscles of his ass.

“That’s different.” He pushes my sweatpants down. When he discovers I have nothing on beneath them, his dark eyes gleam.

An aroused grin covers my lips, a flush traveling up my neck, palpably. “One less piece of clothing in our way.”

He growls, easing himself on top of me, straddling my waist. “Be my feast tonight, baby. Please… I’m starved for you.”

A mewl escapes me while I push his boxers down, large, erect cock flopping out onto my abs. Making a fist around it, I stroke slowly, holding our eye contact the entire time, until his eyelids droop and his head falls back.

“Fuck, I missed your touch.” He takes my other hand in his, running it up his chest to hold his pec. I circle my thumb around his nipple until it hardens, and my mouth is watering.

“I need to taste you, my King,” I plead, chest heaving from beneath him.

His eyes open, and he glances down at me, sucking his lower lip between his teeth, the sight pulsing my balls. He moves his hips until he’s sitting astride my chest, massive dick right in my face, waiting to be sucked dry.

Parting my lips, our eyes remain locked while I open wide, ready to receive his delicious cock. He shifts once more, pushing the head up to my mouth. The fat tip shoves inside first, and I immediately suck hard, tasting some of him already. I whimper, and he bucks his hips, giving me another inch.

Darian reaches forward to hold his headboard, guiding himself deeper into my mouth, slowly, so that I can adjust to him. Still, when he hits the back of my throat, I gag, and he groans. He sits up on his knees, angling himself deeper into my throat, pulling out and pushing back in while I hollow my cheeks.

He’s fucking my mouth, like I did to him the other night in the woods, while Drake was railing him in the ass.

And in this moment, I miss Drake. I would love to see him behind Darian right now, fucking him… Fucking me, who knows. My cock flinches at the thought, and Darian reaches one hand behind him, fisting me tight. He jerks me slow while he fucks my throat, pushing deeper and deeper until his balls are on my chin.

“God, baby…” he groans, sliding in and out of my mouth, saliva dribbling from the corners, my eyes watering. “Does my Prince like to take his King’s cock deep in his throat?”

I nod, and he hums, hips flicking steadily, my jaw going numb already from his girth. His hand travels down to my nuts where he plays with them, fondling and rubbing and toying with me until precum is leaking from my cock.

Abruptly he pulls his dick out of my mouth, a trail of my spit going with it. Then he runs the head over my lips, down my chin. He drags his cock all over my mouth, and I fucking love it. I love this, feeling like his pet, his toy, to do with as he pleases. To suck him and make him feel good, to treasure his dick like royalty, because that’s exactly what it is.

“Do you love my dick?” He rumbles down at me, dark eyes glimmering wickedly.

“Yes, sir,” I answer immediately, witnessing his cock flinch.

He moves up farther, dragging his balls over my chin, up to my lips. “What about my balls, baby? Do you love them, too?”

I groan and nod, parting my lips to suck on his nuts, licking them all over, using my whole mouth to cherish them; him. I’ll gladly fucking worship every part of him.

He moves again, spreading his legs wide while I lick a line up his taint, moving back. Using my hands to spread him open, I slide my tongue over his hot hole.

“Fuck…” he whimpers. I wish I could see him, but my face is quite literally buried in his ass.

He’s practically sitting on my face, holding himself up so he doesn’t smother me, but still. My mouth is in between his cheeks as I grip them hard, fluttering my tongue over and over.

I have no real notion of how to do this, but I think I get the general idea. Licking him like he’s a delicious treat, I kiss and suck everywhere my mouth can reach while he groans and strokes my cock roughly in his fist.

“That’s right, my prince,” he croons, riding my face. “Eat my ass. Eat me so good, baby. God…”

His voice, that rumbling deep voice like thunder, mixed with his filthy words… They have me soaring.

Anything for you, my King. I will do fucking anything to make you feel good.

“Is that right?” He answers me with his mouth while mine is preoccupied.

I mumble into him, shoving my tongue into his asshole.

He groans. “You are mine, Abdiel.” Then he tugs himself away from my lips.

I whine at the loss, wanting more. I want to spend all night eating him like a snack I could never get my fill of.

But he moves down, writhing along the length of my body with his. His rests his cock over my own and takes my face in his palm, gazing deep into my eyes. “I want everything with you.”

His lips lower to mine before he kisses me deep, sucking his own flavor off my mouth. It’s dirty, and luscious, and I can’t get enough. I’m desperate for something more, and he knows. Because he’s my King, and my lover.

He yanks my sweats off the rest of the way, then crawls to his nightstand, opening a drawer and taking out a small bottle. A frisson of nerves run through me, because I think this is happening.

We’re finally going to fuck. I think I’m going to lose my virginity to the man of my dreams.

I’m fucking high.

“We’ll have to be quiet,” he whispers, opening the bottle and squeezing lubrication out onto his hand. Then he reaches behind himself. “The drawbacks to not doing this downstairs.”

“You can cover my mouth if you want,” I rasp, and he grins.

“Mmm…” He kisses me softly while gliding lube between his cheeks.

“Can I?” I ask, and he nods, handing me the bottle.

My hands are shaking as I squeeze out more, stroking it onto my erection. Then I move my wet fingers between his cheeks, tracing a slick finger up and down over his rim. I feel him clench beneath my touch, and I think it means he’s excited. That he likes what I’m doing.

“I can’t wait to feel your giant cock inside me, Abdiel,” he purrs as my fingers swirl. “I’ve been dreaming about this.”

“Me too,” I hum. “Good God, I’ve wanted to fuck you for so long.”

“We shall wait no longer.” He positions himself so that his legs are spread wide where he sits on my hips, his ass open for me. “Get inside me, my prince, before I die of starvation.”

Shivering, trembling head to toe, I take my lubed erection in my hand, aiming it up to his hole. Our eyes remain locked where we stand, in this moment, frozen in time together.

This is unlike anything I’ve experienced up to this point, because I’ve been waiting for him. Waiting to give myself to him in every way humanly possible.

I nudge my head up to Darian, while at the same time he presses down on me, sitting himself on my cock. The tip struggles for a moment before it slides in, and I groan out loud.

“Quiet,” Darian growls, though his voice is breathier than I’ve ever heard it, his eyes barely able to stay open.

Squeezing my lips together, I grip his ass with one hand, the other still holding my dick to push into him. It’s the most intense feeling of my life. His body is clutching me, so hot and tight, like a fist made of fire. He sits down on me farther while I give a little thrust, my erection disappearing into his ass, fitting snugly into his body like this is where it belongs.

We’re one.

“God… fuck, Abdiel… your cock is huge,” he groans, taking more, deeper.

“You’re so… tight.” My chest shudders, a sheen of sweat covering my body already. “I can’t believe I’m inside you right now.”

He breathes an erotic chuckle, gripping my chest hard with his fingers as he hovers over my lips. “You’re not a virgin anymore, sweet prince.”

My next groan is cut off with a kiss.

Finally releasing my erection, my hands slide up his hips, holding him where he sits on top of me. He just stays there, seated on my cock, not making a move to go anywhere while he kisses me with gradual passion, building a slow burn.

My entire body is wound up like a rubber band. The desire to stroke in him is overwhelming, the need to move driving me wild until I growl into his mouth.

He grins deviously on my lips. “You want me to move, baby?”

“Yesss,” I whimper. “Yes yes yes please. Please.”

“I love hearing you beg.” He shifts on his knees, just enough to pull his ass up my cock, only an inch or so, but it feels divine.

A moan leaves my lips, and I slap my hand over my mouth. He presses back down, then lifts again, swelling up an easy rhythm, riding my cock like he was made to do it. Seriously, the way he works his hips is so graceful, rippling his movements; swiveling, welcoming me as deep as possible, then pulling up on my shaft, taking me over so good I’m crying beneath my hand.

“Fuck yes, my prince,” he grunts, panting with his hands all over me, pinching my nipples between his greedy fingers. “You feel so good, baby. Is this a good first fuck for you?”

“God… God, yes… I can’t… fuck me, Darian…” I have no idea what I’m even saying, this is the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt.

His body squeezes me tight, clamping and clenching in pure heat while he strokes my cock in his tight ass. My hands travel up his body, feeling his skin, treasuring his lines of strength. Tracing his muscles with desperate fingertips, my thumbs flick his nipples until he hums. My eyes move from the salacious need on his face to his erection, hard as fuck and bobbing up and down between us.

I curl it in my fist and jerk, pumping up and down to match the tempo of his hips riding me.

“Baby…” he whines, bringing his face down to mine, kissing my lips, my jaw, my neck. “Baby baby baby…”

“Does it feel good, my King?” My voice is hoarse with arousal as the orgasm builds up in my loins so strong, so fervent I’m about to burst.

I need to hold out, to make him come first, but it’s my first time fucking, and I’m dizzy. I’m going out of my mind.

I need to come.

“You fuck so good, Prince Gorgeous.” He licks a line down my throat, lapping up my sweat, biting me to cover up his groans.

“I want to make your big dick come,” I tell him, and he whimpers.

My fist slides faster, his movements mirroring my speed while he fucks my cock, his ass holding me tight. The only reason it’s even able to move is the slippery lube we’re wearing.

“Fuck me, Abdiel.” He trembles on top of me, drunk with lust. “Fuck me like I’m yours.”

“You are mine,” I growl.

His lips dance on my flesh. “Worship me, boy, for I am your King.”

Possession fills my heart as I flip him abruptly onto his back, our connection never severing while I settle between his legs. The look on his face is priceless. He clearly didn’t expect that at all. His pupils dilate, a quiver on his lips at me taking control of him.

Spreading his legs wide, I pick up the movements where he left off, thrusting into him so deep my balls press at the entrance of his body.

His eyes roll back in his head. “Abdiel… Go harder.”

“Your wish is my command, your majesty,” I pant, pounding my cock into him as rough as I can.

This time he groans out loud and I grin, covering his mouth with my hand as I push and pull, pumping my cock between his legs while he squirms. I’m not even touching his dick and it’s flinching, stretched long, engorged. Watching it closely, I swirl my hips. Every time it moves, I can tell I’m hitting a spot, that spot he loves, deep in his body. The one that gives him blazing euphoria.

Removing my hand from his mouth, I grasp his chest with both hands, kissing his lips, then biting him, hard. He’s whining and panting unlike anything I’ve heard before, and it’s quixotic music to my ears. I think I’ve gotten the hang of fucking, rippling my hips into him while his cock twinges out sticky liquid between us.

“You feel so good stroking me,” I tell him, breathlessly. “Your tight ass fits me perfect.” The bed is moving all around with my rapid thrusts, the sounds of our animalistic sex bouncing off every wall in the room. “Open your eyes, love,” I demand, slinking my fingers into his hair. “I want to watch you fall from grace.”

He forces his eyes open, gazing up at me as he moans a song of only one lyric. Abdiel… My prince.

“I’m going to…” he mumbles, his words dissolving into a gasp.

“Close, beautiful?” I purr, straight up crumbling myself, using every piece of willpower I have while I move in him. “God, Darian, please tell me you’re gonna come… I can’t hold on…”

“I’m… I’m…” His lips are trembling, eyes threatening to close. “I’m… coming.”

He whines out loud, and I cover his mouth with mine, his rigid length erupting between us, throbbing cum all over our joined bodies while he cries between my lips. And that’s all I need to let go myself.

“I’m coming too,” I rasp as my dick explodes, pulsing long streams of cum, jetting, filling him all the way up. “I’m coming in you, baby. Coming in your ass… fuck fuck fuck.”

“God, baby, come in me…”

Our mouths stay together, licking, sucking and biting while we inhale each breath, exhaling to fill one another’s lungs.

The world around us swirls for an eternity, the words of our thoughts ricocheting everywhere while our hearts regulate. Darian’s hands treasure me, rushing all over my body, down to my ass, up my back, down my shoulders and arms, massaging me like I did good for him.

Like he’s endlessly appreciative of how good I fucked him into oblivion.

“You’re everything to me,” he whispers up to me with wonder in his beautiful eyes.

Pushing back his hair with my fingers, we’re nose to nose, staring; gazing.

In this moment, I don’t believe I’ll ever love anyone this hard, for the rest of my existence. I never even comprehended that I could fall so deeply into a love like this.

Taking his hand in mine, I thread our fingers. Then I bring our joined hands up to my mouth and kiss his knuckles.

“I’m in love with you, Darian,” I murmur, not giving one single fuck if I’m supposed to play it cool, or be aloof. There are no games to play with a love so vibrant. It’s serious. “I want to be with you and do this all the time. I want you, no matter what that means.”

He blinks up at me, his eyes glistening for me. But his thoughts turn suddenly troubled, a somber tone which tightens my chest.

He says nothing, but shifts beneath me. Breaking the spell of his hypnotic gaze, I pull my hips back, tugging my softening cock out of his ass as it clenches on me while I go. Glancing down, I watch my cum dripping from his body.

“Was I not supposed to come inside you?” I ask, feeling like a foolish former virgin for just doing it without asking.

Drake does it… that’s the only reason I did it. But that could be their thing.

“Abdiel, my beautiful young prince, I loved you coming inside me,” he rumbles, still holding onto my hand tight, as if he won’t let me go. He refuses. “That was your first time ever doing that. I’m honored to share it with you. For you to be… mine.”

My chest warms, and I go to him, nuzzling my body on his, though I still feel his unease. It’s making me uncomfortable.

“Did I do something wrong, my King?” I hate the insecurity in my voice, but I can’t help it.

“You did nothing wrong, baby,” he says, though he’s reticent. I can feel it, in his twitchy fingers as they brush my jaw. “I just… before we enter into anything, there’s something you must know.”

I gulp. “What is it? Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes. I’m fine. But this is something that… it will come as quite the shock.” He pauses to breathe, and I’m shaking. My heart is in my throat. “I should have told you sooner…”

“What, Darian? You’re scaring me…”

“I’m sorry, baby.” His brows zip together, worry lining his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” My tone is more frantic now, impatient and terrified.

He goes quiet for minutes, shifting beneath me so that he can stare at my face. His silence is suffocating me, choking the air out of the room while I await his words. Some truth I don’t think I want to hear.

Finally, he says, “You know your parents meant a great deal to me, yes?” He pauses, and I nod, hesitantly. “They were my closest friends. It was hard when we first began The Principality. It was just Drake and me for so long, and when people began joining, they all looked up to me. They followed me, as their leader. In the beginning, I didn’t know what to do with that. I was young, and still figuring myself out. I needed a friend to confide in, and then your parents arrived.”

My eyes are so wide they’re starting to ache. I don’t think I’ve blinked in a while.

“Before you were born… before you were even conceived, your father and I… became close.” He stops and swallows visibly, the slope of his Adam’s apple dipping slowly while he stares up at me from where I’m resting against his chest.

I move back.

“We were friends. And then we also… were together.” His eyes fall away from mine as he clears his throat. “Romantically.”

I have no thoughts. No reaction. My mind is a blank space.

Since I’m barely even breathing, unable to form words in my mind, let alone from my mouth, Darian keeps speaking. “Your mother knew, and she was fine with it. It was something… they used to do together.” He shakes his head. “You don’t really need to know that. They’re your parents… I’m sorry. I just… I needed you to know that no one was unfaithful to anyone.”

“But you fucked my dad,” my voice scrapes from inside my throat, the words simply ejecting themselves on their own.

Darian’s eyes widen, and his mouth hangs agape. He looks more uncomfortable, more insecure than I’ve ever seen him. I wish I could say it dampens his attractiveness, but he’s even gorgeous when he’s fumbling about.

“I… I…” he stutters before stopping to take a breath. “I did.”

“For how long?” I ask, and he appears startled by my question. My brow arches. “You said before I was born… Does that mean it stopped after?”

He clears his throat a thousand more times. Then he answers me with his mind, too uneasy to say the words out loud anymore. No… We saw each other on occasion. His eyes lift to mine. “Very rare occasion at that point.” He scoots up, coming after me while I back away. Still, he manages to grasp my face. “Abdiel, it wasn’t anything serious. We weren’t together. He was married to your mother, and they were madly in love. It was just something that happened on occasion. Something… physical.”

My stomach turns violently.

I just fucked my dad’s lover.

God…

“Abdiel, please don’t be upset,” he begs, eyes rounded with guilty sorrow. I hate seeing him this way, but I feel very strange about this. “As I said, I was figuring myself out. Drake and I… we weren’t together in any real way at the time. He’d made it clear that he couldn’t, and I was feeling so very hopeless. Your father was my closest friend, and he was a wonderful man.” He stops short, as if preventing himself from saying something, unsure if I can handle it. I blink at him. “You remind me very much of him.”

Pain and joy meld together in my chest, twisting up like a length of rope. I love hearing that I remind anyone of my parents, because I loved them and they were, indeed, wonderful.

But they’re not here, and it does hurt to think about them, especially now. Especially from the lips of a man we’ve now shared.

Swallowing hard, I back up slowly while my chin wobbles. Darian sits up, wincing as he does, bringing my attention back to what we just finished doing.

“We should wash up,” I rumble, robotic. There’s so much pinging all over the inside of my skull now, I’m finding it very difficult to decide how I should feel.

I love Darian. I can’t just turn that off. I’m not even necessarily angry with him, or hurt. I’m just… confused.

“Baby?” Darian’s voice calls to me, and I think he’s been trying to talk to me for a few seconds, but I didn’t even hear him. “My prince… are you alright? I think we should… talk this through.”

I shake my head again. “No, let’s just get cleaned up and go to sleep. I’m tired.”

Darian appears distraught. He looks like there’s so much he wants to say, but he doesn’t want to push me, which I appreciate. He just dumped a lifetime supply of nonsense on me.

All I want is to take a shower and curl up in bed.

He stands slowly, legs visibly like jelly. I look him over for just a moment, admiring how beautiful he is. And then I remember that my father probably looked at him the same way.

Was it destined that I would fall for him? That he would captivate me the way he did my father? And what was my mother doing while all this was happening? Just sitting around? Or was she hooking up with someone herself?

I can’t fault them. Free love is a thing here. As long as everyone is old enough and consenting, as long as it’s mutually agreed upon by both partners in the relationship, there are a lot of couples who do similar things.

But it’s a different notion when it’s your own parents. Especially when it also involves your lover.

My King… Or my father’s…

Stalking away, into the en suite, I immediately turn on the shower. I feel for the water to get warm and then hop in, not waiting for Darian. I know he’s there, though. I’m not facing the doorway to his bedroom, but I can tell he’s standing there staring at me. I feel him.

Closing my eyes, I let the water run over my tired mind, my aching muscles. I just lost my virginity. I should be in bed with him, loving him. Instead, I’m in the shower, all torn up.

I hear Darian approach, then I feel him step into the large shower stall behind me, circling my waist with his big arms. He does so slowly, hesitantly, as if he’s not sure I’ll want him. As if he’s afraid I’ll push him away.

It breaks my heart in half.

I spin in his arms and hug onto his waist, so hard that his back bumps against the wall of the shower. Burying my face in his neck, I let his warm, wet flesh comfort me. It takes him a second, but he accepts my embrace, fingers running up and down my back. He clutches my head in his hand, stroking my wet hair.

Tears slip from my eyes, masked by the running water, soaking into his skin while he holds me, and our hearts beat in truth, together.