Chapter Eleven

It’s too quiet.

I’m making my rounds, spending the day walking the Expanse and checking on everyone. Not something I like to do when my Empyrean has worn off because I have to rely on my family telling me the truth, which people are often hesitant to do, especially with someone above them.

It’s human nature to lie. Anyone who says they don’t lie is lying. The pertinent factor being, of course, that there are variations of lies. To simply say lying is bad is a broad and unfair assessment.

As with everything else in this glorious existence, things are not black and white. We live within a wide prism of color; endless possibilities for every single situation.

It’s as fascinating as it is overwhelming.

So when I ask the farmers why we seem to be missing at least three barrels of our barley yield, and they tell me bugs got to it, when in fact it was the fault of Henry for not securing the lids, leaving it exposed to rain and causing it to mold, which I was able to learn from their thoughts, I have to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, I make note of all these things, and if the lies accumulate, there will be repercussions. But in a case like that, it’s not a life-or-death situation. The farmers lied to protect one another, which is something only human beings do, and it’s an impressive quality.

Unfortunately, though, right now, I can’t hear as much as I want to, and it’s stressing me out. Drake was supposed to come by last night and he blew me off. I wish I was surprised by it, but it’s happened so many times over the years. I can’t waste time letting it bother me anymore.

The thing that’s bothering me the most on this lovely, if not slightly overcast day, are my own thoughts, and more so my recollections.

What happened with Abdiel the other night was a mind-fuck on many levels. Mainly because he could hear me. It shocked the shit out of me when I heard him, listening to me listening to him. I couldn’t believe it at first, but then I heard him thinking, remembering being with Drake, and Drake injecting him with Empyrean.

Startling myself as well, my first reaction wasn’t anger or jealousy, more so confusion and intrigue. I’ve been thinking more and more about Abdiel Harmony, since the night I overheard his lascivious thoughts about me and my brother. I couldn’t stop wondering how he knew, what he’d done, and why.

I came to the conclusion, which was verified when he confessed, that he must have spied on us. And when he admitted he was desperate to know what I do in the lounge, it sort of spurred on even more erotic musings for my youngest servant.

One of my best friends’ son… I really shouldn’t be thinking about Abdiel as much as I have been, but I can’t stop. Especially after what happened in the lake.

He reacts to me in such a way that brings fever to the blood in my veins. He looks at me like I’m a god, flushes and stutters when I’m near him, and damn if it doesn’t make my dick harder than I know what to do with.

There’s nothing in the world quite like innocence wrapped around mischievous carnal lust.

The lake was a lapse in judgement on my part, but one that I can’t fully state with confidence I won’t make again. Anyone could have seen us out there, and while we weren’t necessarily doing anything, I felt his erection on my own, and for the briefest moment I almost fell beneath the surface to give him what very well might have been his first time entering a man’s mouth.

Bad bad bad.

What would that say about me? Abdiel is half my age. He’s my servant, and let’s not forget, which none of my Regnum will let me, I’m married.

The only slight reprieve I take with no Empyrean is that I don’t have to listen to everyone’s thoughts on my inability to procreate. It’s nonstop lately, mostly from the operators of our government, if you could call it that, which I’m not sure I would. They’re the planners, and apparently, a large part of planning the future of The Principality relies on me giving it an heir.

It’s clear to me now that I fucked up when I married multiple women. It just gives me more opportunity for failure in reproduction. But at the time, when I married—Lauris first, then Kiara, then Alissa and Gem at once, and finally Emithel, within only eight months of one another—I thought I could force myself to do it. I thought I could fuck them, just as much as would be needed to make a baby.

That was the original plan… Not a very good one, I can admit.

Because the more time has passed, the more time I spend denying my true self and my internal nature, the more I come to terms with the realization that I can’t do it.

I don’t have it in me to fuck someone I’m not attracted to just to get them pregnant, and even trying, even thinking of trying, makes me feel sick.

Not sick as in repulsed, but more like, ashamed. Ashamed of the even mild desire to go against my biology. My soul.

God, our Mother made me the way I am. She built me, and I’m perfect in the form She sculpted, regardless of what old texts may say, or what the human body is made to do through procreation. I can’t force myself into a mold for the sake of pleasing other people and keeping my name going.

I won’t.

But I’m also nervous about how this will look. What will happen when they find out I can’t give them a natural heir? What would that mean?

I won’t give up rule of The Principality. It’s mine. This entire block of the transformation that Drake and I carved out, it’s ours and it’s important.

I knew going into this that I could never fall in romantic love with a woman. But when we first started, I held different ideas about what I could endure for the sake of my people.

It’s times like these, when my Empyrean has worn off and my insecurities are riddling my mind, that I think things I know I shouldn’t. Irrational fears and paranoia…

What if they want him to replace me?

Drake fucks women. He likes to, and I won’t deny that I harbor a lot of jealousy over it. Not because I wish I fucked women, but because I wish he only fucked me…

But that’s a nerve to strike another time.

Drake doesn’t see gender as something that should prohibit sexual desire. He fucks who he wants to fuck, which means in theory, he could get someone pregnant. Though he has no desire to reproduce, something he’s been telling me since we were young. But still… if the Regnum were to find out I couldn’t do it, would they look to my brother?

He wouldn’t want it, but I suppose that could change.

I always thought I was the one person who could hold him, if only for a few moments. Empyrean was ours, and it kept us together, even though I know he says he could never be in a relationship, and we can never be something because we’re brothers. Despite all of it, we were still connected.

But then he gave it to Abdiel, and ever since I found out, it’s left me wondering who else he’s done this with…

What sorts of things is he keeping from me? Is that why he’s controlling when I can have Empyrean?

He’s using it to manipulate me, that much is clear. But with Abdiel, he crossed a line.

My blood is rushing in my ears as I think about it. It’s been on my mind since I left the lake the other night… when I heard Abdiel thinking about Drake.

I know Abdiel isn’t mine. I mean, he’s my servant, but that’s it. But if I find out Drake fucked him, it might just nick my heart a little. Okay, maybe a lot.

I care greatly for Abdiel, as the son of my late best friend, yes, but also more than that. I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s wrong, and outside of my rage for the unknown of what Drake may or may not be doing to fuck with me, I’m now filled with dread over how I can’t seem to stop lusting after the wrong people.

I have five wives I’m not attracted to, not even slightly, although they’re lovely women. But the only people I want are a servant who’s twenty years younger than me, whose father was a very close and often very intimate friend, and my own foster brother.

I’m fucked. What kind of leader am I??

My emotions are going haywire, and I decide to cut the rest of my day short and go find Drake. I’m wound up tight right now, tense and bordering on irate by the time I get to the Field. Chances are I’ll find my brother in his lab. It’s a safe bet since this is where he spends most of his time. Here and up the mountain.

As I stomp to the entrance path, the patrolmen, who are shooting the shit and smoking cigarettes, notice me and startle. They drop their butts onto the ground and straighten as I approach, acting like I’m a damn military sergeant. It would be comical if I weren’t so damn frustrated.

“Head Priest,” one of them—Lorn, I can tell by his eyes—says.

“At ease, boys.” I smirk. “Can one of you take me up to the lab, please?”

“Yes, sir. Right away.” Lorn gets settled on his ATV, and I hop onto the back as he starts it up.

He pulls away from his friend and we begin up the path through the Field, heading toward the lab. It’s only about three minutes going as fast as he does, and once we’re there, the guards let me right in; no questions, no words.

It’s good. It means I can surprise brother dearest.

“I’ll wait for you here, Head Priest,” Lorn says as I approach the giant door to the lab.

Turning over my shoulder, I tell him, “I might be awhile.”

“That’s fine, sir. I don’t mind waiting.”

He’s a good one.

I shoot him a wink and then I’m inside, wandering the long hallway leading us to the inner laboratory. I don’t come in here all that often, since Drake typically takes the reins on this operation. But every time I do, I’m always amazed at how much it feels like him in here.

Drake has loved science since we were kids. While I was playing football and trying to act like I wasn’t checking out my teammates, he was reading and studying. Becoming a master at all things knowledge. It would have gotten him picked on in school if kids weren’t so scared of him. And then once I moved in with his foster family, no one would dare say a word about my brother. They would answer to my fists. A few of them did.

Moving through the double doors, I wave off the soldiers who are practically escorting me and saunter up to Drake’s office. I knock on the door and wait, gaze flinging all around as I watch the chemistry happening in here, wishing I could hear anything other than what everyone else hears.

The door tugs open, and of course Drake already knows it’s me, since I’m sure he heard me coming. He smirks and steps aside without a word, motioning for me to come in, which I do without hesitation. I barge right inside, brushing past him in my anger as he closes and locks the door behind us.

“So… to what do I owe the pleasure of your impromptu visit?” Drake inches toward me, his ever-present smugness bringing my blood to a boil.

No pleasantries. “Abdiel Harmony.” My face, and my thoughts, say everything that doesn’t leave my mouth.

The smirk stays planted on his lips, though his gaze narrows in my direction, and it’s enraging me that I can’t hear him right now.

He straightens up. “What about him?”

“Don’t play stupid with me, Drake. It’s not you.” My jaw tenses. “You gave him Empyrean. What the fuck is that about?”

Drake shrugs while I fume silently. “He came to me. I’m sure you know by now that he watched us…” He pauses, and I give him a slight nod. “Well, he saw it and he was curious.” He stops again to run his thumb along his lower lip. “Apparently, he’s curious about a lot of things.”

Red splashes my vision. I stalk up to my brother quick, pushing him until his back slams into the door as I hold my forearm to his throat.

“Did you fuck him??” I growl in his face, close enough that I witness his pupils dilate.

“Calm down, your majesty.” He shoots his own flames of fury at me through his swirling eyes. “You don’t own anyone other than your five, remember?”

I surge closer to his face until I’m hovering over him, even with his couple of inches on me in height.

“I’ll ask you again, Drake. And this will be the last time. Did. You. Fuck. Him?” I’m vibrating with the heat of wrath and jealousy; so many intense things I can’t control whipping through my body.

He still takes a moment to answer me. “No. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Is it true?” I seethe at him, and he has the nerve to laugh.

“Yes. It’s true. I didn’t fuck him.” I relax my hold just a bit, until he says, “I made him come, though.”

I smack the door right next to his head with a roar. “I swear to God, Drake…”

“Why are you so jealous?” He angles his face in closer until his lips brush mine when he speaks. I swallow hard. “Is he your new pet, King Darian?”

“Why would you give him Empyrean?” I ask my own question, jittering in anger. “What are you playing at?”

“I’m guessing you’ve already picked up on this,” he speaks softly, “But Abdiel Harmony is special. He came to me in need of Ecdysis, Darian. You remember what that’s like…”

There’s truth in his words, but still, the thought of him with Abdiel is driving me absolutely purely insane with envious rage. I’m not even sure for whom. Maybe both.

Drake’s tongue lurches out to brush my lower lip, and my eyelids flutter. “Why are you so mad…?”

“You know why,” I snarl at him, pressing harder into this throat with my arm until he grunts. But he shivers all the same. Grinding my hips into his, I feel the rigid shape of him that makes me weak. “You like this don’t you? Controlling me… manipulating me.”

He sighs an eager sound that throbs my cock. “I’ve always loved controlling you, brother. You know that.”

I watch his eyes closely, the marbled brown and gold like polished stones. So many things from our collective pasts live in those eyes. It’s impossible for me to hate him, even when I know I should.

But at the same time, he’s playing too much, with my emotions and my needs. He knows it isn’t right, but he does it anyway.

“I want to know exactly what you did with Abdiel,” I demand, pressing into him harder. He chuckles breathlessly. “I’m serious, Drake. Don’t fuck with me.”

“I gave him Empyrean,” he croaks beneath the pressure of my arm in his windpipe. “He reacted… the same way you do. He needed it, Darian, so I gave it to him. It wasn’t much… I just touched him. He’s a virgin, you know… So needy, it’s delicious.”

I hate that my cock is hard right now because I want to detest what he’s saying. And I want to punch him in the face. Wouldn’t be the first time.

But more than anything, I’m thinking of Abdiel… Sweet, innocent Abdiel, at the hands of my wicked foster brother.

“Don’t be so cruel with your thoughts, your highness.” He smirks and licks my lip again, this time giving it a little nip that my cock reacts to, way more than I’d like it to. “You should have told me Abdiel was yours. I’m not a mind-reader.”

His smile goes wide and devilish, and I want to bash it off his face because of how goddamn good it looks.

“You’re being insubordinate,” I growl and quickly shove him to his knees, wasting no time unbuttoning and unzipping my pants. “I’m gonna need some retribution for your obstinance.”

He looks up at me with the slightest bit of that confidence wavering, and I love it all too much. There’s a constant power struggle between us, but it’s not often that I demand him to obey me. Only when the emotions bubble over, and surprisingly enough he doesn’t fight me on it. Well, not totally.

I open my pants and take my dick out, wasting no time pressing the head up to his mouth. His eyes stay on mine, the rage at having to submit to me being swallowed up by his own arousal as he parts his lips hesitantly. Too slow for my liking, and I shove my cock into his mouth swiftly, bringing a grunt out of him. Grabbing the back of his head, I fist his hair, stuffing my dick down his throat until he gags.

It’s not as rough as it seems. I know he likes it, as evidence from his own hand rubbing himself over his pants while he sucks and sucks, going harder for me the way I like. My eyes roll back as his tongue sweeps underneath my erection where it throbs in his mouth.

Puffs of air escape him in between my thrusts, my shaft sliding in and out of his warm, wet mouth while I take the pleasure he’s giving up, willingly, though I had to drag it out of him. He’s so stingy with his affections, and I fucking loathe it.

It’s like he wants me to hate him, and I don’t know why.

Drake brings his hand up to my balls and tugs on them while he sucks, driving me absolutely mad. From the sensation, yes, but also from seeing him like this…

It reminds me of when we were younger, and still figuring out what we liked. Drake has always been the more dominant one, the more demanding one. It’s a rare occasion when I get him on his knees and the sight of it alone is usually enough to bring me to the bursting point.

I keep pushing and pulling, his spit dribbling while I fuck his mouth, surging deeper into his throat, forcing him to swallow on me. The tightening is mind-blowing, and I groan, head dropping back for a moment. His hand is on my nuts, massaging and squeezing, before it slinks between the crack of my ass until I’m trembling.

Gaze aimed down at him, I watch his flushed face as he brings his hand front, holding my cock in his fist while sticking his index and middle fingers out. My breathing shallows, our eyes locked, as he glides his fingers into his mouth, with my dick, sucking to get them wet. The anticipation in me is sizzling.

Once his fingers are lubed as much as they can be, he removes them, still sucking my cock while his hand slinks between my thighs, tugging my boxers down a little more so he can get better access to my ass. I bite my lip, slowing my movements enough for him to press his index finger up to my rim, circling it for only a moment before shoving it inside.

I whimper a hoarse noise at the intrusion, burning from lack of proper lube, though I welcome it, relaxing enough to let him in farther. He pushes it deeper, swirling to hit my prostate until my eyes roll back.

Typical Drake… Has to be in charge. I’d love to believe it’s about making me feel good. And as I look down at him while he’s fingering my asshole and sucking my cock like a fiend, I can fool myself into thinking he does these things for me. He wants to make me as happy as I want to make him.

But it’s probably smoke in mirrors; this game he plays.

The thought has me grinding my teeth, forcing my cock deeper and deeper into his throat, holding his head steady so he has nowhere to go. He adds a second finger, using them to ride my ass hard, almost painfully so, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it.

“I need you to feel this, Drake,” I hiss above him between clenched teeth, his eyes sharpening, watering from the slight suffocation; inches of dick fucking his throat, hitting a wall, but not stopping. “Feel what I can do to you.”

His dark lashes flutter, the crazed lust bringing him up to an edge he so rarely lets himself approach. His left hand frantically undoes his own pants, pulling his dick out to jerk himself rough.

“Feel that I can own you just as hard as you can own me.” My voice grinds like sandpaper as my fingers twist in his inky black hair. “Even harder, brother. You need to know…”

Grunts are escaping him while I push, leaning my upper body on the door, angling so I can ride his mouth. He adds a third finger into my ass, and I purr, the burn pulling me closer to an inferno of a climax, yearning in my balls, ready to erupt.

Our eyes meld while I impart my decree to my brother on his knees. “I want you to feel me for hours afterward, like I do with you. I never want you to forget, Drake, my lovely Serpent, who your fucking King is.”

His eyes roll back in his skull as he groans, swallowing on my dick while he strokes his own erection harder and harder, beating it until he snaps. His cheeks hollow and he sucks me fierce while cum shoots out of his erection. I watch in fascination, his cries of pleasure muffled by my cock in his mouth.

Never once does he stop sucking me, though his movements have slowed, and now he’s almost worshipping it, humming while he drags the orgasm right out of me with his soft lips and that long, wicked tongue.

His fingers stay knuckle deep in my ass as he peers up at me, snake eyes sparkling, begging me to come in his mouth.

So I do… Almost on command.

My balls seize, and my dick jerks and pulses, streams of cum pouring down his throat while I groan out hushed sounds, whispers of praise to every perfect inch of him that does these perfect things to me.

“You like drinking my cum?” My voice scrapes through trembling lips while he swallows me, nodding and sucking, and God, this is so fucking toxic, but so delicious, I would never be able to stop. “Swallow me, baby… Every drop, like you’re supposed to.”

My eyes close, and I just breathe, in and out, fast and harsh as the world spins and pleasure racks my loins. I stay in his mouth for a while after I’m done coming, and he lets me. He tugs his fingers out of my ass, and I slip mine beneath his chin, watching him lick and suck off my spent cock, cleaning me up.

Finally tucking my dick away, I drop to my knees before him. His eyes widen a bit from his post-coital daze as I take his hand in mine and bring it to my mouth, licking up his cum. He makes a low growling noise, which I silence with my lips, kissing him slow and warm, slipping my tongue inside. He flicks it with his own as we taste each other, together and always better that way. That’s what I want him to know…

I just want him to remember what he promised me all those years ago.

We pull apart just enough to breathe, his hands on me and mine on him.

And then he whispers over my lips, “Let’s get high, baby.”