34. Brody

Chapter thirty-four

Brody

I know something is wrong the moment my eyes snap open.

My body is weak and shaky as I stumble to my feet, loosing myself from Kellen's knot.

Ella…

She's not here.

"Where is she?"

Kellen and Alastor are at a loss for words. Kellen is about to say something, but then he shuts his mouth, deciding to remain quiet.

The last I saw Ella, she was at the venue.

Just before the protestors attacked us from all sides.

I'd been so out of it. The cramps and the need took over as all I could think about was impaling myself on one of my Alpha's knots.

But I got my knot in the end. Three , to be exact.

Yet my heat isn't over. Not quite.

Her absence has sobered me.

Just enough to give me the motivation to find her, so I must act quickly.

I jerk around, fixing my Alpha's with an accusing glare. "Ella? She's not in the house. Did… did you leave her?"

Alastor's eyes widen, and then he jumps to his feet, muttering shit.

I'm glad one of them remembers her.

"Who's Ella?" Kellen asks numbly, but I ignore him and stumble toward the door of the nest.

I've just forsaken my promise and told them her name, but my main concern is getting her back.

"Twenty-two! She's missing."

I groan, falling against the door of the nest as I place my forehead against the wood. I take several breaths, trying to gather my composure.

No one said that my first heat would be this painful. Not really. You have to experience it first before you truly know.

It's a day I have dreaded since I perfumed, and it's ten times worse than I ever could have imagined.

They told me so long as I have my Alphas, then I will be fine. All my needs will be met and I have nothing to fear

Yet, why do I feel so empty? I've had each of their knots yet they're not enough.

I need her.

But she's not here.

If anything happens to her, I will never forgive myself.

Never forgive my Alphas.

Alastor rushes to my side, purring softly as he places his arm around me, and now he walks me through the house.

"I… I need her, Alastor…"

His purring doesn't stop as he carries most of my weight, and I see the pain in his eyes.

And the regret too.

He likes her. Not in the same way I do. Not yet, anyway.

But he acts cold and indifferent to her because he thinks it's what I would want.

I would never want that.

I could never be jealous of Ella…

Because she is mine.

"What's the meaning of this?"

We both look down the stairs to find Theo with his arms crossed, and I grit my teeth.

Something has happened.

Because he has that shitty expression on his face.

She was here. I can scent her.

"Where is she, Theo?"

The Alpha doesn't speak at first. He clenches his jaw, and I watch how it tics as he never takes those black eyes off me.

"She's no concern of yours now, Brody. Get back upstairs. You're in pain."

My heart pounds and now I stumble down the stairs.

Luckily, Alastor catches me before I fall.

Now my heavy breaths echo through the house as I try to put two and two together.

"You… you told her to leave… didn't you?"

He grinds his teeth. "No. I told her that she wasn't welcome in the nest."

I stare at him, aghast. Alastor falls unnaturally still beside me.

"You… told her what?" I whisper.

Theo sighs. "I told her she had no place in your nest. She is not good for you, Brody. I'm sorry. But I have to put a stop to this before—"

Suddenly, I find the strength I need, shooting down the stairs as I push him against the wall.

"You piece of shit! You had no right!"

Theo is speechless as he stares down at me in shock. I bet he never expected me to move like that.

I didn't.

Alastor watches silently on the stairs, leaning against the banister to watch everything unfold.

"You bastard…" I growl.

I grip Theo's shirt, wishing I could inflict so much pain on him.

But I'm too weak in this state. Helpless.

Sooner or later, my heat will take over again, and then my Omega will cry out for one of their knots.

Well, not if I can help it.

I can't be around him right now.

I can't be around any of them.

I must find Ella.

Shoving him hard against the wall, I find my strength again as I stagger toward the front door. I stumble down the steps of the porch, following her scent.

It's growing faint.

But I will find her.

And when I do, I'll apologize.

I never meant to abandon her.

"Ella!" I shout.

No response.

So, I shout again.

"Ella!"

Again, only the void answers back, and that's when I start to get desperate, staggering toward the forest.

"Brody! Enough!"

Theo.

I try to resist his Alpha as I continue toward the forest, but his hold is just too strong.

Finally, my body gives up and I drop to my knees, grasping dried leaves and twigs.

Small whimpers escape my throat as I try to fight through the pain, but I won't stop.

Not until she is in my arms again.

Alastor rushes to my side, and I meet his eyes desperately. "Find her…"

The Alpha must see it in my eyes.

A promise.

If he finds her, then I will forgive him.

He's on his feet in seconds, making a beeline for the trees.

Theo tries to stop him. "Alastor."

But the other Alpha is simply too strong. They've always been at odds.

"Alastor…"

The Alpha finally stops, taking several deep breaths as he resists Theo's bark. But then he turns, his facial expression impassive.

"So long, boss."

And with that, he's gone.

A disconcerted expression falls over Theo's face when he realizes he's lost his grip on his pack brother.

What did he expect?

Neither of them respected him, and it was only a matter of time until one of them defied him and took his spot as pack lead.

Theo is unfit to lead. That much is certain.

And he is unfit to take care of my needs.

I'm leaving.

For now.

I will spend the rest of my heat elsewhere.

"Theo, get me my phone."

Theo blinks at me stumped. "Brody…"

I round on him. "Now!"

He swallows, throat bobbing up and down as he finally realizes.

He is losing me.

No, he's already lost me.

I will figure out what to do with him and the rest of the pack later.

Just now, I can't be in the house. It only reminds me of her.

Alastor will keep me updated when he finds her. If he finds her…

He has my number.

"Brody… please… let's…"

Theo stops when Kellen brushes past him next, and there's no missing the guilt and heartache on Kellen's face as he realizes he fucked up.

He left her to fend for herself against that mob.

It looks like he has finally grown up as he hands me my phone, knowing it's for the best.

Trust me, I don't want to leave.

But I think it would be best for all parties involved.

We need space.

After that, I will decide if I want to stay with them.

It will be hard. I'm still in heat, but I must do this.

"Brody, you can't… you're in heat …" Theo whispers, his voice thick.

"It's fine, Theo. They have these new clinics. Heat clinics , to be more specific. Felicia will get me in touch with one."

My hand shakes as I dial her number.

They will fix me up with all kinds of drugs to help me through the heat. I'm not even over the first wave, but it must be done.

It's not how I envisioned I would spend my first heat, but I really can't stay.

It wouldn't be the same without her.

Felicia picks up at last, and her voice is solemn on the other end. When we end the call, I look at Theo.

He's sitting on the front steps, his face buried in his hands as he finally realizes he fucked up.

How he miscalculated.

Did he really not see how crazy I was about her?

Yet he was too blinded by prejudice.

So she's a Rogue. Who cares.

She's still mine.

The car arrives at last, and several nurses rush to my aid, helping me to my feet.

They will take me straight to the Academy.

Before the car pulls out of the drive, I turn and meet Theo's sad eyes.

He's sorry.

But it's just a little too late.

The only thing he can do now is find her.

They all should.

Maybe then, I will finally forgive them.