16. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Hannah

I covered my face with my hands. “I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.”

Phoebe’s fingers paused in my hair. “Really? I was there when you were a teenager. You did some pretty embarrassing stuff.”

I moved my hands to glare up at her. Since my head was currently in her lap while she stroked my hair, it didn’t have much of an effect. Still, I was fragile, and she didn’t need to point out how much I’d made an ass of myself in the past.

“I came to you for comfort.”

“And I’d love to do that, Banana. But without knowing exactly what happened, I can’t properly tailor my comforting.”

I shifted my hands back over my eyes, unable to bear knowing I was being perceived, even by my sister.

“I gave Remington Town a ride home from Denver this afternoon.”

“I know. Caleb told me about his accident when he stopped by Sugar Rush. That was nice of you.” I huffed, and she carried on like I hadn’t made a sound. “By the way, I love how you say his full name like there’s another Remington I would mix him up with.”

“Please. Let me be formal about him to create some much-needed distance.”

“Hmmm, and why do you need distance from Remi?”

“Because…when I brought him home, I had some things to say to him about not telling me he’d had a TBI. I’d thrown a muffin at him, Phe.”

“You did? One of my muffins?”

“Yes, not that it matters.”

“Well, at least I know it was soft. Some of those grocery store muffins are like rocks.”

I groaned. “The point isn’t the muffin. The point is I threw things at him while he had a brain injury. I was also a mega-bitch to him about not getting here in time and needed to know why he’d let me. Do you know what he said?”

“What did he say?”

“He said he could tell I needed someone to be mad at and let himself be that person.”

She sighed. “That’s really sweet, actually.”

“I know,” I cried. “So that’s why I did the dumbest thing possible.”

“Did you punch him?”

“No, worse. I kissed him.”

“Oh,” she whispered. “Did he kiss you back?”

“He did, but it must have been an automatic, shocked reaction. Once he had his wits about him, he pushed me off and told me no.”

“Oh,” she repeated, softer this time. “Did he say anything else?”

“Just that we couldn’t do that while holding me as far away from himself as he could.” I pounded my forehead with the heel of my hand. “I’ve been so good about not giving in to my impulses, but I had all these big feelings about everything and all I could think about was kissing him. I should have left, but you know me. I don’t like to do the things I should, and now I’ve made a complete fool of myself.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad. You’re making it worse in your head.”

Phoebe knew me. She understood perceived slights and minor rejections had the potential to cut me deeply. While most people would have probably been embarrassed about throwing themselves at a man who wasn’t interested, they’d brush it off and move on, and here I was, contemplating how I could disappear into the ether so no one could see me again. I felt gross and undesirable, and worse, I’d pushed myself on Remi without his consent. Coming back from this seemed insurmountable.

“I’ll just never see him again. I’ll have Dell send him a letter telling him he can have the house.”

“Hannie, no. You love that house.” She grazed her knuckles across my forehead before gently knocking me there. “Remi is a nice guy. I’m sure he won’t hold the kiss against you. He probably won’t even bring it up.”

That did nothing to comfort me. I didn’t want Remington Town to be a nice guy. His being an asshole would have made all this so much easier.

“I’m going to disappear.”

She snorted. “No, you’re not. Just stay away from the house for a while. You’ll get over it.”

“I doubt that. Remember when I dropped my entire soda down my shirt on my first date with Kyle?”

“Um…no. You dated a Kyle? Which one? Kyle Thompson?”

“Yes, Kyle Thompson. I was thirteen. It was my first date.”

“Okay…sorry if I forgot Kyle. Why are we talking about him?”

“Because”—I swung my legs around to sit up—“whenever I remember that date, I get nauseous. He laughed for a split second before helping me clean up. It was so sweet, but all that stuck with me was his half-second laugh. I barely remember anything else about that date.”

She puffed up her cheeks to slowly blow out a breath. “Okay, so we accept you’ll be mortified forever. Remi most likely doesn’t have that problem. I bet he’s already forgotten all about it.”

I sprung to my feet, incensed. “Am I so forgettable? Is that what you’re saying?”

She giggled at me—it was the only thing to do in the face of my irrationality—and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing with her. It stopped me from spiraling further despite already twisting myself pretty deep in a pit of despair.

“You’re so dramatic, Banana,” Phoebe chimed sweetly as she made her way to her small kitchen. “I have a few extra pistachio macarons. Would you like one or five?”

“You know the answer to that.”

She came to me with a pink box in her hands. “Five.”

“Exactly.”

I let her distract me because this was Phoebe’s baking. It could cure any woe for a while, and since actually becoming incorporeal wasn’t going to happen, I’d take it.

A week later, I had almost returned to normal. There were moments when it all came rushing back and I had to pause what I was doing so I could melt with shame, but for the most part, I had moved on.

Spending next to no time at the house had helped a lot with this. I’d still had to drop by to pick up my tools and do a few things in the office, but I’d breezed in and out. And by “breezed,” I meant I snuck in like a thief in the night.

It might not have been the mature solution, but it was what I’d needed to handle the rejection, still blazing quietly in the background.

Tonight was family dinner night. They were something I always looked forward to, but this one even more than the rest. My grandparents had finally gotten back from their month-long European cruise, and I absolutely couldn’t wait to hear the tales they had to tell.

Well, my grandmother would do most of the telling while Granddad watched her. It was his way and what worked for them. They were cute as pie.

I kicked my boots off at the door and hurried into the kitchen. Dad and my grandfather were at the table, shucking corn like always. I beelined for Granddad first, throwing my arms around his neck before he could even put the corn down.

He chuckled beside my ear as I sucked in his scent, not realizing how much I’d missed everything about him until now. Our house was right beside his. Growing up, I’d see him pretty much every day, and he’d always been at the center of my life, truly the heart of our family.

“It’s good to see you too, darlin’,” he cooed gruffly.

“Don’t use up all her hugs, Connell.”

With a wide grin, I let go of my grandfather and straightened just in time to be embraced by Lily Smythe-Kelly, my glamorous, worldly grandmother. She smelled expensive, and her skin was soft as velvet. Like Mom, she didn’t seem like the kind of woman who lived on a ranch, and for the first ten years of my life, she hadn’t. But she and my grandfather had made their way back to each other and had been inseparable ever since. I got the sense she’d live in a trash heap if he were there with her.

She pulled back, her hands on my shoulders. “Oh, gorgeous . How have you been, my love?”

“Good.” I nodded. “But we don’t need to talk about me. I want to hear everything about your cruise.”

She waved me off. “I hardly have the energy to tell the same story multiple times. Let’s wait until those siblings of yours arrive. For now, I want to hear about you. You don’t look as sad as you did when we left, but you’ve always been good at hiding things from us.”

“Mom,” Dad warned softly, “let her be.”

She glanced at my father over her shoulder, unbothered by his admonishment. “I’m asking the questions that should be asked, Lachlan.” She faced me again, her rose-colored lips curving into the gentlest smile. “Now, tell me.”

I sucked in a breath then let it all out. “The sadness comes in waves, but it’s not all the time, and it doesn’t drag me under. I miss him terribly, but I’m relieved he isn’t suffering or in pain. Going into his house when he’s not there still feels unnatural, and I hate that.”

“Oh, my sweet girl.” She pulled me into another hug, hard and fierce, exactly what I needed. By the time she let me go, I’d been fortified, ready to face what came next.

After giving my mom a squeeze and kissing the top of my dad’s head, I sat at the table, chatting with everyone about the horses I’d seen over the last week. Soon, Phoebe arrived, followed shortly by Cormac. Both were given the same bone-crushing hugs from our grandmother and all-encompassing embraces from Granddad.

Caleb and Jesse were the last to arrive. My nephew led the way, carrying a stack of books in his arms, as usual. Caleb came in behind him, and much to my horror, he was not alone.

Remington Town strolled into my parents’ kitchen, a big bunch of flowers tucked under one arm and a six-pack of beer in the other.

My mother paused over the chicken she’d been seasoning at the expansive, marble-topped island, her brows diving like lightning. Only Jesse, wrapping his arms around her waist, softened her.

She gave him her full attention. “This is entirely unfair, Jesse-boy. I can’t hug you back with my hands coated in raw chicken, and I have this strong need to squeeze you.”

He tipped his head back, grinning. “You squeezed me yesterday.”

She leveled him with a stare. “Are you implying I’m not overdue for more?”

“No,” he giggled.

“Mom,” Caleb interrupted, “I brought Rem. Figured since you always make more than enough food, it wouldn’t be a problem.”

Her gaze flicked to Cay. “A call would have been nice.” Then she looked at Remi. “But you’re right; we do have enough. Are those flowers for me?”

Remi cleared his throat and stepped forward, placing what I now saw was one of multiple bouquets of wildflowers on the island. “They are. Sorry for just showing up. I didn’t know you weren’t aware.”

Caleb, for his part, scuffed his socked foot on the floor while Mom washed her hands at the sink. “My fault. Slipped my mind.”

“Sure, Cay.” Her brow winged. “Or you didn’t want me to say no.”

Dad had gotten up when Remi arrived and now slid an arm around Mom’s waist, tugging her into his side. “Which you wouldn’t have, right, Ellie?”

She patted his chest. “Of course not. The more the merrier.”

Though my dad hadn’t mentioned it to me, I knew he’d spent time with Remi while he’d been working the ranch. They exchanged a simple handshake, while my mother’s greeting was more layered.

She broke away from my dad to take Remi by the shoulders and stare at his face, slowly shaking her head.

“You’ve gotten older” was her first observation. “For a long time, I never thought I’d see your face again. It’s good to see the lines around your eyes and the shape you’ve become, but I wish I could’ve seen it happening.”

Something in Remi collapsed. His shoulders rolled forward, and his chin dipped to his chest.

“I thought you’d forgotten me,” he replied, his voice thick, almost hoarse.

“Yes…well, I’m not happy with you for leaving for so long, but forgetting you was never a possibility. You were my Cay’s shadow. I was always surprised when he was alone; it was so rare.”

He shifted, his eyes sliding to the side. “Yeah. Sorry about that. I—”

“Don’t be sorry. You were like a fifth child. As I said, the more, the merrier. It’s just when you left, there was a hole where you’d once been. Perhaps I was a little pissy about that and took it out on you in the grocery store.” She patted his cheeks and smoothed his hair off his forehead the same way she did with Cay and Mac. “That’s all in the past. You’re here now, and we’re all happy for it.”

“Than—” He stopped, clearing his throat. “Thank you. For saying that. For all of it.”

Stepping back, she waved his words off. “Don’t insult me by thanking me for caring about you, Remington.” Then she spun away, going back to her chicken, leaving Remi shell-shocked.

I caught Phoebe’s eye when she turned my way after watching the whole interaction. She patted her chest like her heart was fluttering, and I crinkled my nose. Her eyebrows popped, so I flared my eyes.

Mac laughed, which was nothing new. “Stop the silent communication. It’s creepy.”

Granddad playfully swatted Mac’s head. “Leave your sisters alone.”

He held his hands up. “All right, all right. I’ve lived with their creepiness this long; why change?”

My grandmother’s cry of happiness jerked everyone’s attention back to Remi. He’d given her one of the bouquets and had received a rosy kiss on his cheek in return. His gaze found mine, and the warmth in it had me looking away. Then, within two heartbeats, he was at the table, handing Phoebe a bouquet, which could have only meant—

“Han,” he gruffed, standing before me, “these are for you.”

The flowers were shoved toward me, and dammit, they were beautiful, but the gesture even more so. I couldn’t, in good conscience, bat them out of his hand and stomp on them, even though that was what he deserved for being so outrageously thoughtful.

So, I took them, even managed to politely thank him, but I did it all without looking at him once.

And that was exactly how I planned to spend the rest of dinner—avoiding Remington Town with every fiber of my being.