Chapter 5

Chapter Five

B y the time Hadrian returned to find out Lilly's decision, he had started to wonder if this had all been a terrible mistake. His proposal had put Lilly in a terrible situation, which had never been his intention. She obviously didn't want to marry him but felt pressured to do so. He understood all too clearly now that his solution had not been the lifeline he had hoped.

When the butler showed him in, he found Lilly's mother at her side, a bullheaded look on her face.

His heart sank even further. The woman had clearly gotten word of his proposal and appeared ready to browbeat her daughter into submission.

As he crossed the room toward them, Lilly looked at him with a pained expression. Knowing her mother as he did, he imagined she was mortally embarrassed by what was about to happen.

Determined to present his most charming self, he bowed respectfully to the middle-aged dragon before him. "My lady, I am grateful for this meeting."

The countess's expression turned sour. "You should not have come to see Lady Lilliana without a chaperone the other day. That was not well done of you, young man. Had word gotten out, you could have irreparably destroyed her reputation."

Under her critical gaze, he felt like a mere boy once again. "You are correct. I took our longstanding friendship for granted."

Content with putting him in his place, she softened her tone. "Well, regardless of how it came about, I am pleased with the outcome. I had begun to worry that Lilly would never find a suitable match. Lord Stanhope offered for me during my debut season, you know."

Each word from her mother's mouth seemed to wilt Lilly a little more. He hated to see it and determined he would not allow it once they were wed. If they were wed. "There is no accounting for the tastes of those in high society. But it means I am lucky enough to have the opportunity to court the most stunning woman in all of London," he interjected smoothly.

Lilly's cheeks blushed a delicate pink, and he realized his last statement might be true. In his youth, he had thought she was the most magical being on earth. How could he have forgotten that as an adult?

The older woman scoffed at his flattery. "Let's not get carried away now. We all know of Lilly's flaws, but she will make a suitable wife."

Lilly cleared her throat, clearly mortified by her mother's remarks. "As you may have guessed, I have decided to accept your proposal."

Despite having achieved his desired outcome, he could not shake the feeling that something was off. This had all started as a game, a way to rebel against his father's wishes, but now it felt far too real.

"Thank you," he said, unsure what else to say.

She straightened her posture and turned toward her mother. "Now that we are officially betrothed, I would appreciate some time alone with my future husband to discuss our plans."

The countess appeared to want to protest, but perhaps she finally realized she had pushed her daughter too far because she huffed and stood up. "Fine. But I will leave the door slightly open."

Lilly waited until her mother had vacated the room before moving as far away from the door as she could and beckoning him over.

"You did say I could have some input in our agreement," she reminded him softly, her expression tense with worry.

He nodded, slightly anxious about what she might ask for now that the deal had already been made. "I'll do everything in my power to make this situation more bearable for you."

She took a deep breath and slowly released it. "Then please don't make me continue living with that woman. Instead, find her a small place of her own here in the city with a staff and a reasonable allowance. I want to move to Autumnwood Hall. I cannot take being under her control any longer."

He gazed at her with a sense of relief flooding over him. For a moment, he had been afraid she would demand that he give her children. He burst into laughter. "You have nothing to worry about. I will happily take care of that for you. Is there anything else?"

A myriad of emotions passed over her beautiful and expressive face. "Just... visit me sometimes. Don't leave me all alone in the country for the rest of my life."

She blushed and looked away, clearly embarrassed by her request. He suddenly realized just how big of a responsibility he would be taking on, even with their arrangement in place. She was right. He couldn't simply hide her away in the country and forget about her. And, to his surprise, he did not want to. "Believe it or not, I enjoy spending time at Autumnwood Hall. And you can come to London whenever you want. I have no intention of trapping you there. I'm certain we will see each other often enough. We must keep up appearances, after all."

Some of the sadness and fear dissipated from her eyes, and she managed a shaky smile. "So, we are engaged then?"

He nodded, though a gnawing unease was growing in his gut. "Yes, I suppose we are."

For a moment, they stared at each other, and the raw longing in her lovely blue eyes nearly brought him to his knees. Women often looked at him with desire, but this was something deeper. This bargain they had struck was for a lifetime, and she deserved so much more than what he was capable of giving her.

Still, he had been with enough women to know when one wanted to be kissed, and that was something he was very good at. He could give her that at least, couldn't he? A kiss to seal their bargain?

Nervous yet determined, he closed the distance between them and tenderly cupped her face in his hands. "You won't regret this," he promised, though he very much feared she would. He could sense the doubt in her, but he refused to let it stop him. Slowly, he lowered his mouth to hers, giving her ample opportunity to pull away.

But she did not. Instead, she lifted on tiptoe and placed her hands on his shoulders as their lips met in a gentle kiss. A breathy gasp escaped her as their connection ignited something deep within him. What had started as a tentative touch quickly burst into a fiery and primal passion.

He urged her to part her lips and, with a hungry groan, delved even deeper into the kiss. Their tongues entwined in a passionate dance, sending sparks of desire coursing through his body.

He couldn't resist stepping closer and letting his hand trail down her throat and collarbone before settling on the curve of her breast. She responded with a soft moan, urging him to explore further.

The taste and feel of her overwhelmed him. She was so incredibly sweet, so special that it terrified him. He pulled away abruptly, looking at her with shock and a hint of dismay. She had been pure fire in his arms. Everything he had never even known he needed. He wasn't supposed to want her like this!

She opened her mouth as if to speak, and he panicked at the thought of what she might say. He feared she had enjoyed their kiss as much as he had. That she would be as honest about her feelings as she had always been about everything else. Most of all, he feared losing control and giving into his desire for her right there on the settee while her mother was likely standing in the hallway.

"I'll be in touch soon," he managed to say before hastily escaping from the room.

After Hadrian abruptly left, Lilly collapsed onto the sofa by the fireplace. Her heart raced, and her mind swirled with confusion. His kiss had been everything she had remembered, yet it had also stirred up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. The desire she felt for him made the prospect of going her entire life without ever having it again unbearable.

As she sat there, trying to process what had just happened, her mother barged into the room with a greedy glint in her eye. "Well, what did you demand from him? Did you secure us a fortune?"

Lilly's heart sank at her mother's blatant disregard for her feelings. All she cared about was what she stood to gain from their arrangement. Her mother could care less if Lilly were cast aside for the rest of her life while her husband went merrily from one mistress to another.

Lilly did not even consider telling her mother about her deal with Hadrian. She wanted to keep it private until they were married and she could escape her mother's grasp. "What I discussed with Hadrian is none of your concern, Mother. It is between my future husband and me."

Her mother huffed in annoyance, but her excitement over their perceived newfound wealth seemed to outweigh any curiosity about their conversation. "Fine then. I cannot wait to tell that wretched man that we will no longer be staying under his roof."

Lilly could not help but feel conflicted about leaving her cousin's home. She knew Samuel would be relieved to have them gone, but she also felt guilty for causing him so much trouble all these years. She could only nod weakly as her mother spun and left the room again, leaving Lilly to her jumbled thoughts and emotions.