Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

A fter that, Bernard felt too awkward to speak much, and Janice, unable to stand the silence, turned their horses' heads back toward the castle. There, she went to bathe and spent the rest of the day in her chamber, reliving the kiss again and again. The feel of his rough palms on her cheeks, his lips so firm and yet so soft, and the completely unexpected but utterly pleasurable sensation of his tongue intruding into her mouth were all new to her. Nevertheless, she knew that she wanted to feel them again.

However, after their kiss, he seemed to have gone cold on her. He had turned his head away, and their conversation had become stilted and then stopped altogether. After a while, the silence had become so unbearable that she had reluctantly hastened their trip back to the castle, but she had been aware of him for every moment of the journey.

When they arrived, he gave her a brief bow and a "thank you" before disappearing as quickly as he could.

Janice went to her bedchamber and threw herself on her bed. She had been a hair's breadth away from doing something that she should never have even contemplated doing, and yet the tug of attraction between them was so strong that neither had been able to help themselves.

She groaned at the thought of how wanton she had been. What must he think of her?

If Janice was thinking that Bernard was holding her in contempt for almost giving him her body, Bernard was feeling exactly the same way. He knew she was the chatelaine of the castle, and she probably thought he was trying his best to become her lover so that she would be forced to marry him.

He also knew that Janice had a substantial dowry, and indeed, now that the second formal dinner was approaching, young men were beginning to introduce themselves to her and waylay her in the corridors and on the staircases, trying to make themselves noticed. What Bernard did not know was that she had no interest in any of them, and although he fought it down, he was wildly jealous.

William was worried about his friend and said so as they sat in their chairs sipping wine around the fire in their chamber.

"You seem very distracted," he remarked as he watched Bernard staring broodily into the fire. "Is something wrong? You can tell me."

Bernard looked up and smiled at William, distractedly rubbing his jaw and thinking about how much he needed to shave.

"No, Will," he answered. "I am fine, just a little tired."

William studied Bernard for a moment, then said, "Bernard, we have known each other forever. I know when you are lying. Tell me what is wrong."

Bernard sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. "Janice," he said irritably. "You told me to keep her busy, so I did, and now I cannot stop thinking about her."

"Perhaps we can use it to our advantage," William replied.

"How? We are supposed to be working on the weak brothers, not the strong sister," Bernard pointed out.

"If you make her fall in love with you, perhaps you can get her to do as you wish," William suggested. "She is not immune to your charms, is she?"

He raised his eyebrows and twitched a smile at his friend, then reached out his hand to squeeze the bulging muscle on Bernard's arm.

Bernard gave him a playful swipe. "Remember, I am not one of you. I cannot go to the dinner tonight or partake in any of the formal events. I cannot be at Janice's side at all, so before you start urging me to fall in love with her, remember that."

William stood up to fetch them both a glass of wine. "No need to ask you to fall in love with her," he observed. "You already have."

Bernard looked up at his friend in shock, then opened his mouth to deny it, but William shook his head, laughing. "I told you! I know you better than you know yourself."

Bright red had always been the color that suited Janice best, and now, as she lay in her bath, she gazed at the lovely creation that had been laid out on the bed for her. She felt excited to be wearing it but had often felt a little uneasy, even conscience-stricken, wearing expensive fabrics like satin when ordinary people had to wear patched linen clothing. Consequently, she kept her wardrobe of evening gowns very small and was happy to wear the same ones over and over again.

Her maid, Anne, followed her eyes as she looked at the new dress. "Mistress," she said briskly, "I hope ye are no' feelin' bad because yer da bought ye a new dress? Most lassies would be jumpin' for joy."

"But Anne, so many young ladies have?—"

"Nothin', mistress," Anne said, shaking her head. "How many times have I heard ye say that? Ye deserve a new dress, an' if I might be sae bold, I dinnae want tae hear any more about it. Yer da paid the seamstress vera well for it, an' she is a widowed woman wi' five children who needed the coin. I hope that makes ye feel better."

Janice stood up and let her maid dry her and help her into her chemise and the bright new dress, then pin up her hair in the style she always used for the most formal of ceilidhs. When she had finished, Anne stood back to survey her handiwork.

"Mistress, I have never seen ye look sae lovely!" she breathed, clasping her hands together and laughing. "Ye must be in love. Are ye?"

Janice felt herself blushing furiously. "Of course not, Kitty! There is not one single young man at the dinner tonight with whom I would like to spend five minutes!"

Kitty, who had known Janice since she was a child, had always been at liberty to speak freely. "An' what about the ones who arenae at the dinner, mistress?" she asked with a sly wink. "Like the big handsome lad ye went out wi' this mornin'? Dinnae think naybody noticed because we a' did."

"I was just helping him out," Janice mumbled. "Now, where are my pearls, Kitty?"

As her maid, with an old-fashioned look, went to fetch her jewelry, Janice took a look at herself in the long mirror in front of her. Kitty had been right. There was a glow about her tonight, something she had never seen in her reflection before. It was fanciful, of course. It was obviously because of the color of the dress; she had not dressed up for Bernard since he would not be at the feast. Maybe she would pass him on her way to the great hall or find him on the turrets, or—what was she thinking?

She shook her head to clear it before Kitty came back with her pearls and matching earrings, then daubed some perfumed oil on her wrists and behind her earlobes before she pronounced her mistress ready.

Janice gave Kitty a tense smile before she left, hoping, as she made her way down the corridor, that she would bump into Bernard. However, there was no sign of him, and she had resigned herself to her fate and turned in the direction of the great hall when she was summoned by her father to his private parlor.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she entered the cozy room where the laird was sitting by the fire, for once not poring over a ledger. He looked up as she entered and gave her his kind smile, the one he kept especially for her. He looked weak and very tired, his eyes becoming more shadowed and wrinkled every day.

"You sent for me, Da?" she asked as she kissed his cheek.

"Yes," he answered. "I have decided to offer you the position of estate manager officially, so you will have some sort of credit for all the hard work that is about to land on your shoulders."

"Thank you, Da." She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a hug, careful not to make it too tight so that another fit of coughing would start. "I will not disappoint you, and you never know… Perhaps whoever becomes laird will take an interest and surprise us all."

The laird gave her an I'll believe it when I see it look.

"I want you to promise me that if the work ever becomes too much, you will take on an assistant."

"I promise." She stood up. "Are you coming to dinner, Da?"

The laird nodded wearily and stood up. Janice felt infinitely sorry for him and hoped that her brothers appreciated the effort he was making. She took her father's hand and led him into the great hall, where a loud cheer welcomed them inside.

This time, as they went toward the head table, no one stopped Janice from taking her place at it. She was surprised when her brother Andrew pulled a seat out for her so that she could sit, and she thought hopefully that they might behave with a little more decorum that night. However, it was not to be. They behaved like children, spraying each other with wine, pretending to be drunk and falling asleep on the table, all the while making the most risqué jokes and roaring with exaggerated laughter.

Janice felt like crawling under the table with mortification and knew that it must be even worse for her father. Fortunately, just as she was about to lose control and scream at them, the musicians began to play a country dance and the melody drowned out the noise of the twins' antics.

"Would you like to dance, Da?" she asked, raising her voice over the music.

She stood up, glaring at her brothers as she followed her father onto the dance floor. Fortunately, the dance was a slow one, and they were able to move at a sedate pace through it, changing partners every few steps. But even so, at the end of it, Laird Stewart was breathless.

As they moved back to the table, Janice was glad to see that the twins had moved away to sit beside some young ladies who would hopefully tolerate their infantile behavior. She looked worriedly at her father.

"Have you not done enough for this evening, Da?" she asked. "Surely you can find an excuse to slip away? I can take your place for a little while."

The laird shook his head firmly. "I have an announcement to make, and I must do it tonight, Janice. This whole circus will soon end, and I will be very glad. I do not know why I never thought of it in the first place."

"Your voice is too weak, Da," she said firmly. "I can make the announcement for you."

The laird thought for a moment, then nodded. "You are right, Daughter," he conceded, then he proceeded to tell her what to say.

A moment later, Janice stood up and tapped her spoon against her glass for silence. She smiled at everyone and said warmly, "First of all, thank you all for coming to our celebration. We are honored to have you all here, and we hope you have enjoyed your stay and will take home many happy memories." She held up her glass in a toast. "Sláinte Mhath!"

"Sláinte Mhath!" came the loud reply.

"My father, my brothers, and I would like to let you all know that the lairdship will be handed over before the end of the month; that is in two weeks' time. Since we have had four events in our competition and the result is a two-two tie, my family would like you all to help us by voting anonymously for whoever you think will do a better job of running the estate.

"This does not mean that you will be deciding the outcome, of course. It merely means that you will be assisting us with your opinion. We will let you know the details at breakfast. Thank you all once more."

She looked around again and raised her glass, smiling at everyone and hoping that she was building up as much goodwill as she could.

She looked over to see her brothers clowning around at the other side of the table, and her spirits plummeted. She needed fresh air.

Laird Stewart leaned over and tapped his daughter's hand. "Thank you, Janice."

He smiled sweetly at her, and she kissed him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the youngest son of Laird Angus Devine approaching. Of all the young men who had been hanging around her during the last few days, he was the one she liked the least. He was fairly handsome, with a tall, lean frame, chestnut hair, and deep blue eyes. But he was vain and self-important, and Janice could not stand the sight of him.

"Excuse me, Da," she said to Laird Stewart. "I have to go. Angus Devine is coming to see me, and he makes my skin crawl."

Then she stood up and fled before the odious man reached her.