Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

T he mists were just beginning to lift as Janice and Bernard mounted their horses and set off toward the loch in the middle of the estate.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"It is called the Bonnie Loch," she told him, smiling.

He watched as the dimples on her cheeks appeared, and he had the most absurd idea of putting his thumbs in them just to see how it felt. He resisted, however, and said instead, "Why is it called that?"

"Because it is such a lovely place," she answered, her eyes dreamy. "And it is said that a young man proposed to his sweetheart there, and she accepted. But before they were married he had to go to war, and he was killed in battle, but it is said that on moonlit nights you can still see them standing looking into the water together."

"I can't wait to see it," he remarked, then he turned in the saddle, looking around at the breathtaking scenery. He caught a glimpse of the loch in the distance, marked by a dark ring of trees as the daylight became clearer.

They still had half a mile or so of open country to cover before they reached it, and Bernard had a chance to observe the landscape around it. The new spring grass was bright emerald green, the terrain gently undulating and crisscrossed here and there by the lemon yellow blossom of gorse, which looked beautiful but whose thorns were lethally sharp. Bernard grinned as he remembered how often he had been caught by its sharp thorns as a boy while playing!

"What are you thinking about?" Janice asked him, a strange half-smile on her face as though she was scared of the answer.

"Gorse bushes," he replied, laughing. "And how much I hate them."

Janice giggled. "We all do! I don't think there is a single one of us who has not severely injured themselves on a gorse bush—or a thistle, or a nettle!" she winced. "Especially nettles!"

They laughed together and ambled on in contented silence for a little while.

"When Andrew or Alasdair becomes laird," he ventured at last, "what will you do?"

Janice looked around for a moment, thinking. In truth, she was trying to distract herself from the tempting presence of the man beside her. Every particle of her body was aware of him, and for once she was glad of the distance between them.

"I am going to do what I do now," she answered. "My brothers have no inkling of how to run things and no interest in doing it. I want to be the power behind the throne and, to start, I want to build more barns. We lose so many lambs every winter because they are born in the snow. They can freeze to death before we manage to take them to shelter. Not only is it distressing, but it is unproductive, and we all lose income because of it."

"And after that?" he asked, fascinated.

Suddenly, Janice's cheeks flushed, and she looked embarrassed. "You will think I am foolish," she answered, suddenly fascinated by the saddle pommel.

Bernard frowned, wondering what had made her so shy and self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Mistress Stewart, you are the least foolish person I have ever met," he told her. "I have never heard you saying anything without first thinking about it and weighing the consequences. Tell me your idea."

Janice raised her head and turned to him, meeting the steady gaze of his golden-brown eyes with her own grey ones. She took a deep breath and blurted out: "I want to build a school."

He laughed.

"I told you!" Janice passed a hand over her eyes, feeling like a complete idiot. "You think I am silly."

Bernard stretched across to grasp her hand. As he had already noticed, it was small and fine-boned, but the palms were calloused, rough, and obviously accustomed to hard work.

"No." He shook his head. "I was laughing at the notion you might consider me so shallow as to think that your idea was stupid. I think it is wonderful."

"Truly?" Janice was incredulous.

He nodded. "Yes, truly, but first, tell me why you want to do this." He turned in the saddle to face her. "I know it is obviously something you have thought about deeply."

Janice stared at him for a moment. "Of course I have considered it deeply," she said at last. "Think of the benefits of teaching children to read and count. They could balance their own accounts, meaning that there would be a smaller chance of their being swindled out of their hard-earned money.

"The children could even work for the laird in various capacities and seek employment outside the estate, even in the big towns and cities. They could help their families by earning extra income. So you see, schooling is like a stone dropped in a pool. Its ripples start where it hits the water and then spread wider and wider. I think this is a gift, one which I want to give to the children of this estate. And I think the idea will spread, and soon we will have schools everywhere."

He gazed at her incredulously, unable to believe what he was hearing. This was a woman whose thinking was far beyond her time, and he could hardly believe her intelligence and the depth of her perception. She clearly had a vision for the estate that her brothers did not share, and the twins' stupidity and arrogance made their love for themselves more important than the welfare of the Howdenbrae estate.

"Tell me more," he urged. "Your plans sound fascinating, and if I were your father, I would put them into action at once. Tell me more about them." He smiled encouragingly.

As Janice began to speak, Bernard listened with rapt attention. She had thought of every aspect of estate life, from special facilities for the birthing of babies to employing spinners and seamstresses to make and repair working clothes for the local women. In fact, he realized that most of what she did centered around women and girls, and he asked her why.

"I am in a position of privilege," she replied. "Most of the women here are not, and they spend most of their lives not only working on farms but in their households too. I would like to change that, at least the little bit that I can. I want to create opportunities for them and provide time for them just to be themselves, mix with others, and enjoy themselves. Their lives are too hard."

Bernard could hardly believe what he was hearing, and he knew with certainty that this woman was everything he had ever wanted. However, the fact that she would be elbowed out of a position of influence to place her idiotic brother in it made his position untenable. He could certainly help Laird Ballantine to influence Alasdair or Andrew, but Janice Stewart was possibly the most intelligent person he had ever met.

She had run the estate for a long time, admittedly with her father, but he knew she was capable of more. Should he try to fix something that was not broken merely for the sake of Laird Ballantine's ambitions? What was best for the people of the estate? Surely it was to leave things in Janice's capable hands? But what of his duty to Laird Ballantine? He could not have it both ways.

Janice could not keep her gaze off the man beside her. Strong thighs hugging the saddle, powerful arms steering his horse, as well as a sharply chiseled profile, were having a strange and thrilling effect on her. Every inch of him was utterly male, and every inch of her was totally female, as if they were two halves of a whole…and suddenly she wished they could be.

She was startled out of her daydream when Bernard said, "You are a remarkable woman, Janice. I admire you more than I can say." His deep-set, greenish-gold eyes were shining, and there was a soft smile on his face.

"Thank you." Janice was tongue-tied again. Then, to her relief, she saw the loch looming up just ahead of them. "There it is," she told him, pointing.

The loch was small, overhung by the drooping branches of weeping willow trees and fringed by bullrushes, their distinctive dark brown, rod-shaped flowers bobbing in the breeze. They dismounted and moved toward the water, where they saw a pair of swans with half a dozen fluffy cygnets following them. The entire family glided majestically across its surface, making both Janice and Bernard stare at them in admiration.

"Such lovely creatures," Janice breathed. "So graceful and?—"

She suddenly gave a squeal as she stepped on a patch of slippery mud and her feet slid from beneath her. However, a moment before she landed on her backside in an undignified heap, a pair of strong hands shot out and gripped her arms in a tight, painful grip. She gasped as she found herself pulled against a firm, muscled chest, then she looked up and was lost.

This is madness, Bernard thought as he held her against him, but he could not seem to stop himself as he tightened his arms around her, his eyes fixed on her ripe, luscious lips. Common sense told him that he should not be letting himself be drawn under her spell like this. Yet at this moment the effect of common sense against desire was akin to the squeak of a mouse against the roar of a lion. Her nearness was scrambling his senses, and his whole world had been reduced to Janice and the current that was passing between them.

Janice watched him without realizing that she was doing so. All she could see were his green-gold eyes watching her mouth as though he could not take his eyes off her lips.

Bernard reached out a hand to cup her cheek in his big, rough palm, and Janice tilted her head sideways, leaning into him with a sigh. Her eyelids fluttered and her eyes shut as he curved his hand around the other side of her face so that his palms were surrounding her face. She could smell him now, an earthy, yeasty scent that was as primitive as nature itself. This was the aroma that came straight from his body, the animal part of him. She would never mistake it for another man's.

Finally, their lips met. Bernard growled softly and felt himself harden almost instantly as he took the final step that brought them together. She was so soft, pliant, and willing in his arms. She was everything he had imagined she would be, but his fantasies had not done her justice because she was more—much more. He was in heaven.

Janice gave a little whimper as she wound her arms around his neck and tilted her head back to accommodate his greater height. She felt a sweet throbbing between her legs and a wetness there that she had never experienced before. She had no idea what it was, but she knew that Bernard was causing it. Then he did something utterly shocking.

Bernard pushed his tongue between her lips and began to stroke hers, then he swept it around her mouth and gently began to suck on her tongue.

Janice had no idea what was happening to her, but after the first shock, she knew that it was so glorious that she did not want it to stop. She thrust her fingers into Bernard's hair, pulling his head closer to hers, and gave herself up to the plundering of her mouth, then began to imitate him. She knew nothing about kissing, but she wanted to give him the pleasure he was giving her. As well as that, she wanted to learn.

He gave another throaty growl, louder this time, feeling himself become almost painfully aroused. He knew he should stop. He knew he should not let this madness continue. But he felt powerless against his own desires.

Suddenly they heard the sound of voices and laughter approaching and saw some of the guests from the castle a short distance away. Janice reluctantly broke the kiss, stepping backward to put a few feet of space between them.

She was flushed, breathless, and too embarrassed to meet his gaze, but after a moment she looked up to find his deep eyes looking at her again.

"I am sorry," he said softly. "That should never have happened."

"Perhaps not, but I am very glad it did," she answered with a shy smile. "It was the first proper kiss I have ever experienced, and I hope every one I have in the future will be just as wonderful as that one."

But you will not be kissing me, he thought with a pang of regret.

He smiled at her. "I am glad you liked it," he remarked. He was still desperately aroused, and he had to distract her. "Do the swans always come here?" he asked, talking about the first thing that came into his head.

"Yes, in the spring and summer," she answered. She was also glad of the chance to change the subject. "Do you know that they mate for life?"

"I do now," he replied.

Damn! How have we managed to arrive at the very subject I have been trying to avoid?

Mating for life was not something he wanted to think about.