13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Cassius

W hy did I do this to myself? I paced my father’s throne room as my parents, Haden, Leer, and Zade, stared at me. I was antsy, and I could not fucking relax.

“For fuck’s sake, man. You need to chill; I’m starting to doubt this theory of yours.” Haden broke my racing thoughts. When I looked up, he bit into an apple and shrugged at me.

“Son.” My mother walked to me and put her hands on my shoulders, staring me in the eyes. “Haden’s right; you need to calm the fuck down. She will come.”

“It's been almost a month,” I sighed. “Don’t we think she would come to find me by now?”

“She tried to find you for weeks before she went back to Cerithia.” My mother reminded me. “She will come; she probably just needs a little push in the right direction. ”

“Ardella is keeping an eye on her,” Haden said. He always refused to call her anything but her full name.

I knew this was my idea. I would pull Thea in by hopelessly flirting with her, then disappear. It was fucking torture, and each day that passed, and she didn’t come to find me, the more I doubted her feelings for me. This could all be lust to her. I thought by me disappearing she would face the reality of her feelings for me. But she didn’t come.

I started pacing again, and Haden groaned as he threw a chunk of his apple at me. Glaring at him, I kept moving around. I needed to be busy, or I was going to go mad. If she didn’t come find me in the next few days, then I would have to go find her because I couldn’t fucking stand this distance. My marriage bond burned because it knew that I could see her, and it wanted me to get my ass out there and force her to come home.

But this time was different. Not only the way she watched me but also because Della had told me what her brother did—sabotaged us every year. My shadows swarmed out of me without permission as my anger took over. I would fucking kill him if I could.

“Cassius,” my father’s voice pulled me from my dangerous thoughts. He pointed behind me, and I saw Della. Her eyes found Haden immediately, and she looked away when he refused to acknowledge her existence .

“Della.” I stepped toward her. “Please tell me something; I’m losing my fucking mind,” I begged.

Della smiled.

“She’s on her way to Crimson, alone.” Della hesitated as if she were contemplating telling me something. “She is distraught. Her father hit her.”

My shadows exploded from me and filled the room again. That motherfucker. My eyes pulsed black as rage filled every shallow breath I took.

“Why did he hit her?” Leer asked. “Isn’t he trying to get her on his side?”

Luren had never been good at convincing Thea. Thea always came back to me. Della’s eyes flickered to mine before she smirked slightly.

“She broke Jesper’s nose for grabbing her, and when her father demanded an explanation, she told him that her reason was that she found Jesper’s existence unpleasant. But then she was asking about her life before Exile. She wants to know why she feels like something is missing, and her father refused to answer. When she kept asking, he blew up at her and told her she had nothing before, that he owned her entire life. She told him that she did not belong to him, and he hit her. She did tell him to fuck off and spit blood at him. Then she started running, and Wisp is making sure she is headed to the border, but she was already headed this way.”

Are you what I’ve been looking for?

Her words haunted me. She felt I was missing.

“I’ll go watch for her and call for you when she gets here.” Haden stood and walked out of the room. Della’s sad eyes followed him until he was out of sight.

“When are you going to tell her that you cursed her? You will have to at some point so she can break the curse and fulfill the prophecy,” Della said.

“I know.” It was the one thing I didn’t know how to do. I had to make sure she loved me and would listen. “I think a few more visits, and I’ll tell her. I have to know where her feelings are before I risk saying that to her. I am not losing her again.”

“I’ll let you get ready for her to come. She should be here any minute. I’ll keep checking on her and let you know of any new developments.”

“You can stay,” I told her.

Della frowned at me.

“He would prefer to not see me,” she whispered. Haden didn’t want to be near her, but he would put his anger aside so she could help Thea. But I knew that Della didn’t want to stay and keep getting looks full of hatred from Haden .

“Thank you for helping her.” I smiled, and she nodded before disappearing.

I started pacing back and forth with a new worry. How the fuck was I going to tell her I killed her and have her listen to me? Gods, I felt like I did when I used to follow her around during our previous war and flirt with her. Anticipation filled me. I couldn’t wait to see her. No matter how brief it was, I was happy.

“Cassius!” I heard Haden’s voice boom in the distance. Immediately I left in my swarm of shadows. When I stepped out of them, my heart beat wildly at the sight of her. She was very distraught, her green eyes red and puffy from crying. Her blue uniform made me sick. Blue didn’t suit her. But it was the trail of dark red blood down the front of it that made my vision pulse black. My hands fisted tightly as I tried to control myself. Her pouty lip was cut, and so was her cheek.

“Don’t move.” One of the guards demanded of her. I watched as she lifted her hand, trying to evaporate him with her fire, but nothing came out. I immediately looked at her wrists to see if her magic was bound, but it wasn’t. She was just tired. She had to run for over a day to get here.

“It’s alright, Thea.” Haden stepped forward. She quickly unsheathed her viper-handled dagger and held it toward him. She didn’t realize she had come to Crimson. Disappointment filled me. I shook it away and focused on her. She was sending all sorts of emotions and thoughts down our bond, so many that I couldn’t understand what she was feeling.

“Everyone but Haden, leave,” I demanded without looking away from my wife. Thea’s chest rose and fell quickly, but it was slowing down as she watched me.

“Did you run all the way here to stab me?” Her eyes never left mine. “I admit this is a surprising war strategy, but again, you always had a way of keeping me guessing.”

I smiled at her when she blinked slowly at me. Her pretty green eyes widened, letting me know she liked me flirting with her. Gods, all of the worry I had earlier disappeared when she looked at me like this.

“It was a mistake. I did not mean to cross into your territory. I was just running.” Disappointment filled me again. I took a hesitant step toward her, and she moved her dagger toward me instead of Haden. I lifted my hands to show her I wasn’t going to hurt her.

“Running from someone? Or running to someone?” She didn’t answer. Interesting.

“Or perhaps you are taking me up on my offer? Are you lonely?”

She opened her mouth to speak but shut it after a moment of not finding something to say back, but she didn’t need to. I could feel her desire through our bond. She lowered her blade. Good, we were making progress.

“We're friends, aren’t we?” she asked Haden.

“Yes.” Haden smiled smugly at me. Why was she asking that? Was she having flashes of memories?

“Haden,” she whispered his name as if she were remembering it. Then she turned her attention back to me. “We’re more than friends.”

“Something like that.” I nodded and smiled at her.

Her green eyes traced over me slowly, and I couldn’t help the longing that flooded me. I missed her so fucking much. She was trying to figure something out in her mind. Talk to me, my love. Ask me more questions so I can understand what you’re thinking. Haden stared at me before looking at Thea. He could tell she was struggling with something too.

She sighed heavily and rubbed her forehead with a soft groan. I tilted my head and tried to see what she was feeling through the bond, but it was as if she blocked me completely. I hated when she did that, even though she didn’t do it intentionally.

“I will leave Crimson. I did not mean to intrude into your territory. This is not a strategic war move. It was simply a mistake,” she finally spoke .

I nodded slowly as I stepped closer to her. Haden moved toward her other side. I needed her to stay a little longer; this was not enough time. Thea’s eyes watched us as we moved toward her.

“Thea,” I whispered as I went to grab her.

She stabbed her dagger into my thigh.

“Fuck!” I groaned and let go of her. “You fucking stabbed me.” I accused.

“I’m so sorry,” she muttered immediately. Guilt filled her eyes as she looked at me bleeding. Haden stood off to the side, dying of laughter at the scene unfolding in front of him.

“You’re apologizing?” I ran my hands down my face, both in pain and confusion. “Why?” Her face turned to something tortured at the sight of me. She didn’t answer me. My eyes stared at the viper-handled dagger sticking out from my thigh. Thea stepped forward and ripped it from my leg. Fuck, that did not feel very fucking good. Blood rushed from the wound. I went to hold my hand to it but stopped when she kneeled and pushed her hands against the wound. She stared up at me, and my jaw clenched at the sight of her on her knees.

Then I saw the glow from her hands and watched it seep into my leg. The blood stopped pushing through her fingers, and the pain disappeared immediately. Fear filled her eyes as she backed up.

“What the fuck was that?”

She didn’t know she could heal.

“You used healing magic.” I squatted down to her level. “You have a lot of magic inside of you, my love. You don’t need to be scared.”

Her breathing was rapid, and I cursed myself for calling her that. It was hard to control the habit. Her lust pushed through the bond, and I closed my eyes tightly to keep myself in check. She was going to fucking be the death of me if she kept looking at me with those eyes and her desire pumping through the bond.

“I should go.” She stood and started walking toward Cerithia. I was hot on her heels, desperate to just be near her for a little longer. She walked silently beside me at a painfully slow pace. She was exhausted, and I just wanted to take care of her.

“You know, Cerithia is quite a walk from here. You can stay the night if you’d like.”

“Did you hit your head recently? We are at war. We are... enemies?”

Her answer was exactly what I expected as I smiled at her. She watched me, though, as if the word enemies did not feel right .

“We can take a break from pretending to hate each other,” I said the words that I did to her all those years ago.

“We do not hate each other. We can’t even pretend.” Her body stiffened like she hadn’t meant to say that out loud. My heart pounded faster.

“You’re right. We can’t even pretend to dislike each other. I mean, what kind of enemy would make you cum on his fingers?”

Thea’s face burned bright red as her mouth fell open. She had stopped walking so she could gape at me. I just gave her a big smile. She told me once that my smile was one of her favorite things.

“You can’t go around and say things like that,” she muttered and started walking again.

“But you love it when I say things like that to you.”

She refused to acknowledge me, but her cheeks were tinged pink from her desire.

“I’ll make you a deal, Thea. I’ll get you back to Cerithia in less than a minute with my shadow magic if you tell me why you’re blushing so much right now.”

“I’d rather walk.” She lied. Okay, she was playing hard to get.

“Let me guess it then.” I scratched my chin as if I didn’t already know. “You think I’m handsome. No, that wouldn’t make you blush. You want me to kiss you. No, that wouldn’t make you blush either. I know…” I stopped walking, and so did she. “You pictured me naked.”

“No,” she said too quickly. “I wasn’t blushing for anything like that. I’m just...flushed from exhaustion.”

My little liar.

I grabbed her arm to stop her from walking and turned her, so she was watching me.

“Is it me you picture when you touch yourself at night?”

Shock filled her features. But fuck, her eyes were turning black as she stared at me. I knew she pictured me because she sent images down the bond accidentally. And she thought about it a lot.

“You’ve lost your mind,” she scoffed.

“You didn’t deny it, my love.” Shit, I didn’t mean to call her that again. Her eyes fell to my mouth when the name registered.

“Do you flirt with everyone?” she asked.

“Would that make you jealous?” I asked as I watched her closely for any reaction.

“Why would I care what my enemy does?” She lied quickly, but not before her eyes flashed red without her permission, showing me exactly how she felt about that. I lifted her into my arms because somehow she was getting slower.

“You need to work on your lying, my love. If it makes you feel better, I picture you when I touch myself.”

Lust shot through me from the bond. Gods above, I was drowning in desire. I watched her face as my shadows swarmed around us and took us to Cerithia. Being this close to her instantly settled my racing thoughts. She had always been my safe place, my anchor. She smelled like these little purple flowers that grew in Crimson—sweet and intoxicating.

Her fingers fiddled with the dark hair on my neck out of habit. A moment later my shadows moved, showing her that we were in the forest of Cerithia, but she didn’t let me go, and I made no move to put her down.

“Are your eyes normally black?” she asked.

I didn’t answer. Brim said to keep my golden eyes from her until I needed to show her. He had been frantic that day he came to see me but refused to say why. I knew she didn’t remember anything about me but my golden eyes from her dreams. I felt like it would confuse her to know it was me. So, I kept my eyes black as I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers.

My gentle kiss only lasted a moment before she pulled me closer to her and turned it hard and needy. I moaned as she twisted in my arms and wrapped her legs around my hips. Her hands snaked through my hair, tugging it. I fucking loved when she did that. It was like her body remembered exactly what I liked because she did small things like this all the time.

I kissed her once more before setting her down on her feet. Disappointment filled her eyes, but I needed to understand where her mind was.

“Why do you think you ran to Crimson?”

“I don’t know. I just felt like I was suffocating here.” She paused before frowning. “Do you ever feel like you’ve lost something or misplaced it? I feel like that all the time, and no one in my family has been helpful. I’ve asked my father. I’ve asked my half-sisters. I even asked my sister’s fiancé, Jesper.”

“Stay away from that monster. Do you hear me?” I warned, but silently told myself to get a grip.

“Thank you for bringing me back. I guess we can go back to being enemies on the battlefield. Unless you will continue hiding?”

I smirked. She wanted to know if she’d see me again.

“I’m not hiding, Thea. I was testing out a theory. Maybe if you wanted to sneak into Crimson again, I would let you.”

“Be careful, Cassius; I might use that invitation to stab you again.” She glanced over at me, and that feeling of wanting to be close to her consumed me. I didn’t want her to leave yet. “Did your theory work?”

I smiled softly at her, and I wondered if she felt this tension between us.

“In fact, it did tonight.”

Her full lips tilted into a curious frown as she watched me. Her eyes looked over me as if she were trying to figure out what I meant. She took a step forward but stopped herself and turned towards the castle of Cerithia.

“I need you to promise me something,” I said.

“Depends on what it is.”

“When you get back to Cerithia, do not tell them you made it to Crimson lands.”

She looked confused at me.

“It was an honest mistake. They would understand.”

I was suddenly in front of her, holding her chin up, so I was staring at her pretty face.

“Believe me when I tell you they would not understand. They will know you found me, and you will not be around anymore. They will punish you, Thea.” My eyes closed tightly as images of what Jesper did to her last time plagued me. “If you promise me anything, let it be this, Thea. You will lie to them. ”

“Okay.” She agreed. “I’ll tell them I ran into the woods after my father struck me and got disoriented from it. I was lost in the Cerithian forest.”

I sighed relieved as I let go of her.

“I want you to do another thing.” I was silent for a moment because I was wary of saying too much and not enough. “I’m about to tell you something that no one but Crimson knows, so if you speak of it, they will know you’ve come to see me.” I turned with my shadows swarming around me. “Crimson will be asking for a meeting of the kingdoms in two weeks to discuss a negotiation for peace. All of the kingdoms will meet in Cerithia. You should be in attendance as the captain of the guard, but I do not doubt that your father and Jesper will try to keep you busy, so you aren’t in attendance. You will do everything in your power to make sure you are there, but more importantly, you will see that the king will not tell you about the meeting at all.

“And in these two weeks as you’re in Cerithia, I want you to notice how no one tells you anything. How you are kept in the dark about everything. They will whisper about you when you’re present and speak of you when your back is turned. ”

She stared at me like she was seeing me for the first time. Something about the look disarmed me. What did she see when she looked at me?

“We knew each other before I disappeared.” She frowned. “That is why you seem so familiar.”

Devastation filled me at how sad she sounded.

“Yes, and your father did not like it. You’ll start having memories soon. It always happens when you leave Exile for too long.”

“I’ve left Exile before. Sybil had said the same thing.”

“Yes, this is your eighth time trying to break your curse, and I hope you do this time, Thea.”

I watched her closely.

“They won’t tell you anything about your life, and if you ask too many questions, they will start thinking you remember.” I stepped toward her and grabbed her hands. “I would keep your memories to yourself. They will not be happy to know that you remember.”

“What am I going to remember?”

My face softened as I looked at her. Us. Me.

“The real reason why you fled to Crimson tonight. It was no accident, Thea; it was destined.”

My answer caught her off guard. A tortured expression overtook her face, and I pulled her to me and kissed her deeply. She pulled back and stared at me intently .

“Tell me why I miss you when you’re gone,” she whispered. “You are all I think about, Cassius, and I should feel bad because your king is my father’s biggest enemy. But if I’m being honest, I really don’t like my father.”

A laugh escaped me at her words. I loved this fucking woman with every fiber of my soul.

“Because you love me, even if you don’t remember.” I decided to give her a sliver of the truth to see how she took it. Her face didn’t change. “You don’t look surprised.”

“We love each other,” she answered back. “Della said I needed to read between the lines when it came to you. But I can see it when you are near me that you miss me, but you have been missing me for a long time.”

My chest rose and fell as she talked.

“Gods, what am I babbling on about?” Her voice panicked as her cheeks heated instantly as she looked anywhere but at me. I grabbed her jaw and forced her gaze to meet mine. Maybe I should tell her about how I cursed her. She didn’t deny loving me.

“Thea!” someone called out close by.

Fuck.

“Shit, they're looking for me.”

“I’ll see you soon.” I smiled but frowned when she looked at me with tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong, my love? ”

“I… I don’t know; I just feel overwhelmed by you leaving me.”

“I think I see her!” Someone interrupted us. I took a step back, but Thea glanced to my left, making me look too. I saw nothing, but she nodded her head as if she were answering a question. When I looked back at her, she was looking at me again.

"Do you see him like you see Wisp?" she asked.

I glanced to where she had been looking and saw no one. Worry filled my chest. Why was she seeing things?

"Who is it?" I asked. She frowned at my question.

"I don't know; he won't tell me. He has been following me for a while." Her eyes drifted to him again, and she smiled. "He said to tell you that…" Her brows furrowed. My heart sank when Thea looked at me. "Bayla? Does that name mean something to you?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but a guard coming through the trees stopped me. I stepped back and left in my shadows, but I didn’t go to Crimson. I went to Cerithia. My shadows disappeared, and I was hidden behind the blue velvet drapes in Luren’s throne room. I had to make sure she was alright. I had to make sure she lied to them. Adrenaline pumped through me at Thea's words. How had Bayla sent a man to help her?

Her words raced through my mind. This was the year. She was coming back to me, and the excitement I felt was overwhelming. I stilled when I heard Luren clomp into the room. A moment later, a commotion followed. I could feel her hatred through the bond. I peeked through the small gap in the drapes and saw her glaring at her father.

“Where the fuck have you been for three days?” His voice was soft, but in a cruel way.

“In the forest.” She lied immediately. Good girl. “I was upset after you hit me, so I ran into the woods to get away from you, and I became disoriented and lost.”

Jesper’s beady blue eyes stared at her in a way that made me want to cut them from his fucking sockets. He had always looked at her like she was a piece of meat, and it enraged me more than anything. He glanced at Luren, and they exchanged a look I didn’t like.

“Did you go to Crimson?” Jesper was the one to ask. My heart raced; my shadows were ready to attack them if they tried anything. Thea stilled, but her eyes flickered to where I was, but she didn’t see me. Shit, her darkness could probably sense my magic.

“Why would I go to Crimson?” She scoffed like it was the most stupid thing he could have suggested. “Besides, if I went to Crimson, I would not be back by now. That would take me longer than three days to get there and back.”

The guards watched her closely, like she might explode, their hands gripping their weapons. Suddenly the bond filled me with rage and anger.

“So, you didn’t go to Crimson.” Jesper glared. “Did you talk to anyone?”

“Like who? The monsters in the woods? What is with these questions? Who do you think I’m meeting in the woods?”

“No one.” Luren glared at Jesper like he had said too much. He had. Thea wasn’t stupid; she would have known this conversation was odd even if we never talked. Her anger doubled.

“Well, I’m tired, hungry, and cold, so is this interrogation over?” She snapped. Her father waved his hand to dismiss her like she was unimportant.

She was the most important fae in this realm, and he treated her like trash. Thea left immediately, and I instantly missed her.

“She’s right; she wouldn’t have made it all the way to Crimson and back this quickly,” Luren sighed.

“I still think she’s being strange.” Jesper winced when he scratched his black and blue nose. I smiled at the damage Thea had done to him .

“You always think that.” Luren rolled his eyes. “We will keep an eye on her. We’ll need her gone for the meeting; she cannot be close to Cassius.”

Too late for that. I waited for them to say more, but they didn't, so I went home. My father and Haden were waiting for me.

“How was that?” Haden asked.

“I need to talk to Della," I said.

"What, why?" Haden asked worriedly.

"Thea just told me a man is following her, and he told her that Bayla sent him." I glanced at my father.

"Thea's dead mother?" Haden looked at me. All I could do was nod. Something was happening to Thea, and I hoped Della knew what it was.