1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Della- The day Thea died

M y chest burned with fury and anguish as I left Thea in Exile again. She was important to me, and I hated to see her suffer. I was angry because my brother, Mikel, was the reason for this. I couldn’t believe my own brother was such a cruel, heartless asshole.

Summoning my star mist, its silver glow wrapped around me, taking me to my home high in the stars. Staring at the stunning structure that felt like anything but a home, I felt hatred. The beautiful white stone looked angelic, but it was stained with my betrayal. These walls were once my sanctuary, but now they are my prison.

I barged through the large, glass front door, my footsteps echoing in the silent entryway. My eyes were turning white from grief and sadness. I could not get Cassius’ crying and pleading out of my mind. I had once begged Haden the same way, and I knew how devastating it was when our prayers weren’t answered.

“Ardella?” Pia, our housekeeper, pulled me from my rage for only a brief moment. Her big blue eyes widened when she saw me because I never got angry, but fuck, I was sick of this. I stormed past her into the sitting area where Mikel was drowning his sorrows in fae wine. He didn’t acknowledge me when I walked into the room, but I was used to it.

He hadn't glanced at me in years.

“How fucking dare you!” I yelled, making the walls shake. One of his favorite tapestries fell off the white wall and onto the black marble flooring. Mikel kept his eyes on the book he was pretending to read and his back toward me. But his shoulders were now tense. I took off my heel and threw it at him, hitting him hard enough in the back that he finally looked at me.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” he asked.

My brother’s eyes, which matched mine, held nothing but hatred. I hope he saw my hatred for him reflected back.

“Why?” I yelled. “What did you do to Thea and Cassius? I know you intervened and made sure she failed.” But still, a sliver of me wanted this not to be true. How could my brother be this cruel ?

Mikel’s face barely changed emotion as he listened to me accuse him.

“Cassius doesn’t deserve a fated mate. He killed her. It is his burden to carry. I am the god of judgement, and he hasn’t paid his penance.”

“Stars above Mikel, he killed her to save her, and you know this. He loves her more than anything; why are you inflicting more pain on him?”

“Why does he get to keep his mate when I don’t?” Mikel stood and clenched his fist at his side. “You took her from me. You killed Remiah, and with that, you killed me too.”

I wanted to kill him.

“You gave them an opportunity that you never granted Remiah and me. A second chance. You gave it to Cassius, but not to your twin brother!”

This time a portrait fell off the wall from his rage. I deflated at his words for a brief moment.

“Mikel, Remiah’s soul left immediately. I did not send her away. She. Left. Thea refused to leave Cassius. She stayed, so I gave them a chance. If Remiah had stayed, then you could have claimed her, and she would have come back. That is not my fault.”

“This is all your fault!” His words were full of heartbreak and anger. “You took the only thing I had to look forward to. ”

I stepped forward in a rage. Pia caught my attention out of the corner of my eye by shaking her head, but I ignored her trying to stop me.

“How many times?” I sneered. “How many times did you make sure Thea didn’t break her curse?”

Mikel smiled like a smug prick.

“Every year,” he said with a grin that made me recoil in disgust. How could this be my brother, my twin, my only family? “I let Luren know everything that was happening; I made sure Cerithian and Kizar guards snuck into the trials; and I made Thea forget that Crimson had a traitor in their circle. I made her so confused over her feelings for Cassius that she questioned everything about him.”

“If I could kill you, I would slit your throat open this second. You will never interfere with Thea and Cassius again.”

“If we could die, I would have killed myself the day you killed Remiah,” he spat back at me. My brother’s chest rose and fell in short, choppy breaths. Guilt clawed into my chest because one decision I made had destroyed countless lives. This was all my fault, but this... Mikel was a disgusting excuse of a god.

“Never again; do you hear me? You will not come near Thea and Cassius again. Remiah would not approve of this. ”

I turned around but stopped when Mikel laughed.

“I’ll leave them alone for a trade.”

I turned back to him and stared at his menacing face. I would do anything to help them. They were important to Haden, and that made them even more special to me. They had made Haden smile for the first time in years. They gave him a family again.

“I would expect nothing less from you,” I snapped.

“I will make a star bargain with you.” He stepped forward. Star bonds couldn’t be broken, which meant he could not back out and hurt them. “You must give me your star.”

Pia gasped behind me.

“My star,” I whispered.

“As the god of judgment, it is the only way that I will consider Cassius pardoned for his betrayal,” he smiled. “You are the one I want to punish. I agree that I took my anger out on Cassius because of resentment and jealousy, but you are the one I want to suffer. You are the one who should pay for this.”

He was right. It was my mistakes that should be punished because Cassius had done nothing wrong. He loved Thea so much that their bond refused to let go even when she died. If my brother had bonded to Remiah, then her soul would have done the same. My eyes glanced over Mikel’s tanned skin which was pale from lack of sleep and eating. His eyes, which once shined brightly, were dull and lifeless. I had practically killed him too.

“I’ll be back.” I nodded and headed toward my room. Pia was hot on my heels. I could smell her soft lilac scent as she raced in front of me.

“You cannot give him your star. That is meant for Haden.” She was more frantic than I was. Her blonde hair swayed as she shook her head. “If you give it to Mikel, you can never solidify a bond with Haden.”

I grabbed the star from where I put it eight years ago. The night I killed Remiah was the last time I opened this black velvet box. It sat in my hands for hours that night, and I stared at the beautiful orange and silver glow it emulated. I knew that night that Haden would never accept it from me.

“Haden does not love me. He would never accept being my mate. This stupid rock is useless to me. If it can save Thea and Cassius, then that will be the best use for it.”

I tried to convince her and myself that Haden would never love me back. There had always been a shimmer of hope he would, but every time he looked at me, I could see the hurt and devastation I caused him. He didn’t love me like I loved him. Pia grabbed my arm as I turned to go back out to meet Mikel .

“Are you sure about this? Maybe Haden will forgive you when he understands you had no choice. Maybe if Mikel knew that Haden is your mate, it would make him understand too.”

I loved Pia, but she was naive. I frowned at her.

“If Mikel knew that Haden was my mate, he would use him against me. Haden doesn’t need to be pulled into my brother’s antics. Haden will never forgive me; he already made that clear.”

“You’re punishing yourself because you can’t forgive yourself,” Pia snapped at me.

“His judgment against me is valid because I do not regret killing Remiah,” I whispered, a thought that had never escaped me. “I would do it all over again, but that does not mean I am in the right just because I love Haden. Mikel loved Remiah too. If I were him, I would have lost any kindness if Haden died. I am Mikel’s and Haden’s villain.”

When I glanced at her, I could still see the doubt in her eyes. She needed to understand the depth of Haden’s hatred for me.

“Do you know what I wake up to every morning?” I asked. “I hear Haden praying to the stars that he hopes I am unhappy, that I am miserable. He prays that I am unable to find peace. He has not missed one day since Remiah died. ”

Tears streamed down Pia’s face as the reality of Haden hating me settled into her.

“I have prayed to the stars every morning that Haden will find it in his heart to forgive me, but they do not listen to me. The stars have granted Haden his prayer. I am unhappy and miserable. I have not known peace since the last day Haden and I were together. I am unworthy of him. So, I don’t think that Haden will forgive me, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I deserve it.” I let the tears stream down my face as I looked at Pia.

She was sobbing when I turned and left my bedroom.

My star was heavy in my hand as I walked into the room where Mikel was still standing. Surprise took over his face. He didn’t think I would do this. Without hesitation, I walked to him and held it out. Mikel was the one to hesitate as he took it from me and opened the box. My star, the one we are given when we come into existence, glowed brightly in his face. So many memories of Haden plagued me at that moment.

We didn’t have long enough together before I ruined it. My heart ached as I watched Mikel shut the box. I had dreamt of giving Haden that star since I first saw him and realized he could see me back. He had smiled at me, and I think I fell in love at that very moment, but it was now all tainted by what I did.

“I swear to the stars; you have my word that I will not cause Thea and Cassius any more trouble,” he spoke as he held out his hand. I grabbed it, and a small bargain mark burned into our wrists. Its orange glow was in the shape of four stars in a straight line.

“How’d you know I was intervening with them?” he asked.

“Kace told me when I collected his soul. He told me how you threatened his family and gave Cerithia something to use against him.”

I still had to tell Cassius that Kace was not a traitor by choice. Kace had waited to leave after he died so that he could warn me, and I was thankful for it. My brother made sure he didn’t have a choice because Kace wanted to protect his own family.

Mikel looked at me oddly as I yanked my hand away and glared at him.

“You never being able to form a mating bond will give me great satisfaction. I can’t wait to see you suffer alone and watch your mate live a life without you. That is the best torture I can imagine for you.”

“Stay the fuck away from Thea and Cassius, or I might find a way to kill a god.”