34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

A s I lay in bed, all I could think about was how heartbroken Cassius had looked at me. I knew the right thing to do was to go get the bloodstone, but I wished there was another way. The selfish part of me wanted to forget it so I could live blissfully with Cassius, but I could never do that to Sybil, the twins, and all the fae in Exile.

They had given up their lives to help save me, and I would repay it.

Cassius crept into our bedroom a moment later. The smell of liquor was light in the air. His golden eyes watched me as I sat up to see the state he was in. He said nothing as he slipped off his boots and clothing before crawling into bed. His arms wrapped around me as he held me close to him.

“I’m sorry for my outburst earlier,” he whispered as he traced over my face with his fingers. “I would never keep you from freeing those in Exile.”

“You’re scared of losing me. I’m scared too,” I answered softly.

He nodded as his eyes traced over me.

“We will get the bloodstone and make your father and Jesper suffer for what they have done to you.”

“I love you.” I smiled as I leaned forward and kissed him gently.

“I love you too.” Cassius pulled me closer and nuzzled his face into my neck. “It will be nice when you can remember all of us.”

I nodded as I held him tightly to me. The warmth of his body lulled me to sleep.

★★?★★

Where was Cassius? I sat up in my bed and glanced around the room, but he was gone. My hand ran over the silk bedding and felt how cold his side of the bed was. I stood and dressed so I could find him, but paused when Wisp appeared in the corner of the room.

“Where have you been?” I asked her like she would answer me. Her flames were dark green as she floated happily through the room.

When I got downstairs, I planned to head to the training fields, but I paused at the open door of the king’s throne room.

“Thea, my dear, how are you?” Cassius’ father smiled as he stood, walking to me and giving me a hard embrace. My chest tightened at how different he was compared to my own father.

“I’m alright. I was looking for Cassius.”

“Oh, he had to head out on a scouting mission this morning. He’ll be back shortly.”

I nodded and glanced at the letters sitting on his desk. They were the letters I gave Cassius that day at the meeting of kingdoms. His eyes followed mine, and he sighed heavily.

“I felt so stupid when Cassius showed me the letters you gave him.” His voice was hardly above a whisper. “I fear much of this is my fault. I could have stopped you from dying several times if I had paid closer attention to Lavtan. I should have seen through his schemes.”

“It’s not your fault,” I assured him.

“We are so happy you are home, Thea.” He patted my shoulder and gave me a friendly smile. “Cassius is such an ass when you’re gone.” His laughter was contagious.

I glanced around the large room and felt a sense of familiarity. All of Crimson felt right to me. It felt like home. No part of Cerithia had felt this way.

“He told me you would be retrieving the bloodstone.” The king broke my wandering thoughts.

“I have to.”

“Yes, you do. Cassius felt terrible about how he reacted to you yesterday, but we had a great talk about it. We will always support you and your choices.”

His sincere statement made me smile.

“This whole thing must have been so strange for all of you, not just Cassius,” I frowned. “I just walked around not remembering any of you, and all of you cared for me still. You know, when I was in Exile and we all believed that you had locked us away there, I wanted to kill you if I ever got the chance. But then, when I met you, you were so...nice.”

He chuckled.

“I’m not sure I like being known as nice, but I’m glad you didn’t kill me because you could have easily. Maybe your heart remembered that I consider you my own daughter, Thea. And we are family. It makes me sick to think how cruel your father is to you. You are such a wonderful woman, and I’m so glad you were chosen as Cassius’ mate.”

His face softened at the thought.

“Me too,” I smiled.

“Am I interrupting something?” Cassius’ voice had me turning to his smirking face.

“Just talking about how big of an ass you can be,” I sighed as he stepped toward me. His father chuckled, and so did the guards behind him. He pulled me to him and kissed my forehead. Cassius was covered in mud, and his uniform was drenched.

“What happened to you?”

Haden started laughing loudly.

“Onyx stopped quickly and flung me into a creek.” Cassius glared at Haden. I chuckled softly.

“Did you notice any shift in the Cerithia armies?” the king asked.

Cassius shook his head.

“Their borders are clear. I don’t think they’d be stupid enough to launch an attack while Thea is here.” Cassius paused for a moment. “I think helping Thea get the bloodstone soon would be the smartest move. Maybe a distraction at the border will get their troops out, and Thea can use my shadow magic to travel to the Cerithian castle while they are distracted.”

My eyes shot up to his as he spoke.

“Have you thought of this plan since yesterday?” I asked.

“Yes, I want to get it over with so we can put all of this behind us,” he frowned. “Cerithia is very reactive with their armies. If we create a big enough distraction at the borders, they’ll send their forces to defend them. That would be a good time for you to get into the castle, find the stone, and get back with the smallest amount of resistance.” Cassius paused for a moment. “How does that plan sound to you, Captain? You were always better at strategic planning for war than I was.”

A sly smirk crept over his face.

“Yes, it sounds fine to me. When should we plan for this? You’ll need to help me learn how to work your shadows.”

“We’ll work on it now,” he agreed.

“You’ll let us know when you feel ready to go, Thea, and we will make it happen.” The king smiled.

I nodded, and Cassius grabbed my hand, leading me out of the room with Haden, Kace, and Zade. They all followed silently before Haden started laughing hysterically.

“You really should have seen Onyx throw Cassius into the creek; it was the highlight of my time in Crimson.”

I started laughing with the guys, and Cassius narrowed his eyes at me with a playful smirk.

“You are supposed to defend me, my love, not encourage their behavior.”

“I’m sorry,” I chuckled softly.

Cassius stepped forward and pulled me to him as shadows wrapped around us. A moment later, the shadows disappeared, and we were deep in the forest.

The sun was hiding behind clouds, and the cold air was telling of a storm headed our way. I glanced at Cassius, who just watched me closely. His dirty clothes were now clean.

“Let’s practice with shadows.”

I nodded but couldn’t turn my attention away from how handsome he looked. His dark hair was disheveled from his earlier excursion. The dark sky only made him look more powerful as he stood confidently in front of me.

“Are you distracted?” he teased.

“A little.”

His smile widened, but he got back to business.

“Moving through shadows is quite simple. All you do is summon the shadows and concentrate hard on where you’d like to be.”

“That’s it?” I asked skeptically. “Seems too easy.”

“Try it, but take me with you too.”

I nodded as I stepped toward him, but he stepped away.

“Try to take me without touching me; it’s harder to do but something that will be beneficial for you to learn. Take us to our cliffside.”

I stopped and summoned the shadows forward. They burst from me, swirling around us in a whirl. My mind tried to clear away all thoughts as I focused on the cliff by the waterfall. A moment later, I lifted the shadows back up, but we hadn’t moved. Frowning, I tried again, but this time I closed my eyes and pictured it in my head.

When my eyes opened, Cassius was gone, and I was on the cliffside by myself. Shit. A moment later, Cassius appeared next to me.

“You forgot me, my love.”

“Sorry, that was harder than I thought.”

“Try again.”

I did, but again, I moved without Cassius back to the forest we had been in. After waiting a few moments, he didn’t follow me, so I went back to the cliffside.

He was smiling smugly at me when I appeared again.

“You need to imagine me coming with you.”

I nodded and closed my eyes, picturing Cassius and me standing in the dark forest together, holding hands. This time, when I opened my eyes, he was with me and smiling proudly.

“You always were a quick learner.”

“Thanks.” I smirked.

Cassius’ gaze drifted over me slowly, setting my skin on fire with desire. His golden eyes flickered with black as he took a step toward me, like he was catching his prey. I backed away from him, and his eyes narrowed at the movement.

“Are you playing hard to get?” His husky voice made my heart pound harder.

“Maybe,” I whispered, but in all honesty, I wasn’t sure why I stepped backward.

“Alright… Let’s play this game. I want you to go somewhere using shadows; if I guess where you’ve gone, I get to have my way with you. I get two guesses.”

“And if you don’t guess?”

“You can choose a prize.” He smiled wickedly because he knew I would still choose for him to have his way with me, but I liked the games we played. My heart pumped lust into every fiber of my body as I tried to think of where to go.

“Alright.”

“You have three seconds to leave,” he declared. I went to protest... but he started counting. “One…Two…”

I closed my eyes, and the first place that popped up was the training ring Cassius and I used to use in the middle of the woods. When I opened my eyes, it was eerie and fairly dark. My eyes immediately scanned around for him, but he wasn’t there. How long would it take him to find me? My stomach clenched as anticipation coursed through me.

A light drizzle of rain started coming down as I waited with excitement for him to appear. Part of me thought he would never think of this place within two guesses. I’m not even sure why I had thought of it. Minutes moved by slowly. Maybe he had no idea where I had gone, and I should go back to the castle.

Both anticipation and doubt coursed through me as I waited, causing an unsettling mix of emotions to overtake me. There weren’t many places in Crimson that I could’ve chosen; he would find me eventually.

Suddenly, his arms wrapped around me, and a small yelp escaped me before he turned me around and devoured my mouth with his. He yanked me flush against him as his tongue shoved its way into my mouth. Cassius was not gentle with me as he lifted me up and pushed me against the nearest surface.

His hips pushed into me roughly, and I moaned loudly as my nails dug into his back. Cassius pulled away and smiled.

“It took me four guesses.”

“Then I get to choose…” He cut me off with another devouring kiss. Cassius lifted me effortlessly before walking to the rock wall that had a small overhang, stopping the now-hard rain from soaking us. He gave me one last chaste kiss before setting me on my feet and taking a step away so he could start stripping off his wet clothes.

His eyes darkened as he traced over me as I followed his lead and undressed. I had expected him to devour me with another kiss, but as he stepped forward, he was more gentle with me than I had thought.

Cassius kissed me passionately. His hands gripped my face softly, so I couldn’t leave. He pulled me down onto our discarded clothing before crawling over me and pinning me below him with his weight.

When he pulled back, something had changed from hot, searing passion to longing and love.

“I don’t want to lose you again,” he confessed.

My fingers came up to his face and gently traced his saddened features.

“I am a shell of a man when you are gone, Thea. Nothing feels right, like a night without its stars or a storm without its rainbow; I’m utterly lost without you.” Cassius’ eyes traced over me as tears filled my own because he feared losing me, and I couldn’t guarantee that I wouldn’t leave again. I could clearly see the fear he had for my success on his somber face.

“I wish I could take your fear away, Cassius.”

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine.

“Sometimes I wonder if your life would have been better if you never met me.” His whispered confession nearly broke my heart.

“You can’t possibly think that is true.”

“Sometimes when you’re gone, I lay in bed and think of all the horrible things that I have brought into your life. Maybe you would have been happy with someone else or just living a full life, not this half-life I’ve cursed you with. All I can think about while you’re away is how unworthy I am of you.”

Cassius looked away from me as if he were ashamed of himself. I pulled his face back toward me so he could see how genuine I was.

“My life would not have been better without you. You gave me a reason to live; you breathed life into me when I thought no one would ever want me. What I remember about my life before you was no way to live. I would take this half-life with you over a full life without you. Even when I’m in Exile, my heart knows you are missing, and it longs for you.”

His eyes traced mine before leaning in and kissing me slowly. Cassius kissed me like it would break the curse. His tongue slid against mine as his hips moved forward.

My moan was lost to the pouring rain. My hips rolled up to his, but Cassius kissed me like we had all the time in the world. He moved against me, causing a delicious friction that had me holding my breath.

“Cassius,” I breathed with a plea.

He understood what I wanted as he lifted his hips and pushed into me slowly.

There was no rush in how slowly he filled me. A deep groan escaped him as he filled me completely.

“Stars above, I could die right now, and the heavens could not compare to you, Thea.”

His hips slowly pulled away from me before thrusting back in. My eyes focused on him. Cassius’ pretty eyes slowly started fading to black as he stared down at me. Something about how gentle he was being was almost too much to handle. His mouth devoured mine as he picked up pace.

“Cassius...” I gasped for air, but I didn’t know what I needed from him—more or less?

“Use your words, my love. Tell me what you want from me.”

My whole body felt like it was on fire, but it was my love for him that consumed me. My eyes glanced over his face before he rolled us without warning.

Cassius smirked up at me when I started sliding up and down him at an unbearable pace. His eyes drifted down my body, but it was as if his hands were touching me. He let out a groan of approval when he watched where we joined together.

“You look so fucking good like this, Thea. Look at how good you take all of me.”

My eyes followed his, and I couldn’t help how turned on I was getting. Cassius’ hands rubbed over my thighs and my hips, tugging me roughly against him. My orgasm crashed around me, flames bursting out of me as I called out to the stars above.

“That’s my girl,” he groaned before flipping us again. Cassius leaned over me, just to kiss me roughly before he leaned up. His shadows twirled around him, and I knew he wasn’t in control of his magic right now.

“Fuck,” I muttered at the sight of him. Black eyes, black shadows, the tattoos on his ribs flexing with each thrust into me.

“I want to hear you again. These noises you make make me want to mark you as mine again, so there is no mistaking who you belong to. A mark that no curse can break... no gods can keep me from you. Do you see what you do to me?”

His shadows slowly crept down his body and over mine. I cried out in pleasure when they gripped my wrists and held me down so I couldn’t move.

“Mark me,” I begged.

Cassius’ eyes were pure black as they raked over me at my plea. I wanted him to mark me, to show the realm I was his again. My magic surged forward, and my fire magic wrapped around him as his shadows moved away from my wrists and toward my chest.

“Cassius,” I moaned. When his shadows moved, I glanced over my heart to see a ‘C’ above it, surrounded by crimson flowers.

“Mine,” he muttered as his hips kept surging forward. My fire mist wrapped around his arm, and when it moved, it showed a red viper wrapped up his arm.

“Mine,” I repeated.

Cassius leaned over me and kissed me. His tongue tangled with mine as my moan tore through me. His shadows swarmed around us in a frenzy, as if they did not know what to do with all these overwhelming emotions. My fire encircled his shadows as Cassius breathed heavily against my damp skin.

“Cassius…” I breathed as my orgasm crashed around me. I yanked him closer to me, and he stilled as he found his release. We lay there as the rain pounded, our breaths struggling to catch up.

“I love you more than anything, Thea.” He leaned back.

Something about his words made doubt creep into my mind. What if I couldn’t get the stone? What if this curse was never broken and I had to leave him repeatedly? We lay under the overhang, listening to the rain pelting down all around us. The prophecy still lingered over me like a dark promise of relief from this burden. I knew which kings I would kill and which kingdoms would crumble.

But when would I fulfill that destiny? Would it be as I got the bloodstone? Thoughts raced through my mind as I tried to figure out how all these pieces would fit together and bring me back to Cassius.

“You’re very quiet, my love.”

I turned to face Cassius and saw how worried he was.

“I feel like you have had the worst of this curse,” I whispered. His brows furrowed at my statement. “You have to remember everything, while I live unaware of the pain and sorrow. It must be torture to see me and realize I don’t know you at all.”

He was quiet as he thought about what I said.

“If this is the punishment I must carry for saving your life, then I would gladly do this every year for the rest of our existence.”

“I’ll get the bloodstone and fulfill the prophecy so we can live a full life together,” I promised. Cassius leaned forward and kissed me before wrapping me up in his arms.