3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A gain. Again. Again. I lunged forward and stabbed the makeshift target I had made. Sweat ran down my face and stung my eyes in the unbearable heat of Cerithia. My viper-handled dagger pierced with perfect precision each time, and my heart raced with adrenaline as I envisioned Cassius as my target. He was standing in front of me, and I returned the favor of killing him.

My body did not like envisioning him dying. It did not want to stab him or kill him. But this has been my only focus since returning to Cerithia. The sharp pain in my chest subsided after I ignored it long enough, but the burning of my blood bond was enough to make me stop.

I forced the sadness away and replaced it with images of Cassius being so cruel to me in that clearing. I repeated his words like my own sick mantra. Who could love a monstrosity like you? His hateful words fueled my darkness. It made me stronger. There was no time to grieve everything I lost, and I knew it. If I let myself think about it too much, I would fall into the darkness and never resurface.

The darkness wanted to take over; it wanted me to allow it complete freedom. It felt like something new lurked inside of me, and it was evil. Not only did it want to level Crimson, but it also wanted to punish the gods. It wanted me to level Elloryon with a flick of my wrist. Everyone should feel as horrible as I did.

How could the gods allow me to live in a realm where Cassius did not want me, did not love me back? A sinking feeling overtook me as I tried to stop my thoughts.

The more I pushed the hurt and confusion away, the more I felt lost. There was nothing else to replace it with. Cerithia had not filled the void of losing Crimson or Cassius.

“Thea?”

I turned quickly and found my dagger pointed at my father and Jesper. They both took a hesitant step back before I dropped the blade to my side.

“What are you doing? The sun hasn’t even come up yet.” My father glanced at my makeshift target before looking at me. My eyes found Jesper. He had been nothing but kind to me since being here, but all I could do was think of how unpleasant I found him in my dream the night before.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Still?” My father glanced over me as if he were looking for something. I nodded but said nothing else. He always seemed to be analyzing me, as if he was expecting to see something. “It's been weeks,” his words faded off, and I knew he wanted to question why I was still so... out of it. I could not seem to get acclimated to Cerithia, no matter what I did. I wish I could feel like I belonged here.

“I’m training. What do you want?” I sighed, annoyed that they were bothering me this early. There was a reason I came out here before everyone else woke up.

My father watched the dagger in my hand, like I would reach out and slice him open. There was no connection in my heart to him, to the castle, or to this family. No one had tried to make me feel welcomed. When I first arrived, I was shown to my tiny room and left to rot away. My father and Jesper had treated my return more like an interrogation. They wanted to know everything about Crimson. What were their armies doing? Did Cassius speak of war? What did I know about everything? When I didn’t have the answers they sought about Cassius or his army, they seemed disappointed in me. They eventually stopped coming to see me altogether when I couldn’t give them anything.

Even now, my father and Jesper stand far away from me. I felt as though they feared me more than they liked my presence. I hadn’t expected fae to rejoice, but I expected someone, anyone, to say they had missed me.

My eyes shifted to behind my father, where the woman with star-colored eyes had appeared. I shook my head and closed my eyes tightly. She wasn’t real. I was seriously fucked up in the head. My eyes snapped open when Jesper spoke.

“Training for what?” He raised his brow, ignoring my irritation.

“To kill Cassius,” I huffed, ignoring the stabbing in my chest. My blood bond burned at my words, but I didn’t let them know that something twisted in me each time I thought of Cassius dying.

“Very good.” My father gave me a weak smile. “That makes me so proud to hear.”

His words should have made me happy, but I felt nothing. My eyes shifted once again to the woman who stood watching, and this time, Jesper’s eyes followed. Her bright eyes glanced over me, pausing on the blood bond on my arm, and I swore she smiled slightly at the sight of it.

Jesper looked right through her because she wasn’t real. He turned toward me and watched closely, like he could see the cracks in my armor. He looked at me like I was broken and barely functioning. The woman looked concerned for me. She always seemed to be looking at me as if she cared about me and could see my sadness that no one else seemed to.

Did anyone notice how utterly lost I was? Did they not realize that my own reality was shattered and I couldn’t fit the pieces together in a way that made sense? I was so...empty. A thickness overtook my throat, but I swallowed it down so my father couldn’t see how tortured I felt. No one seemed to understand the hell I faced. And to make matters even worse, I felt like every part of me from Crimson was slowly dying. Each day that passed took me further from myself and closer to a monster controlled by madness.

They don’t understand the price I paid by losing Cassius. It was as if he had given me a reason not to be completely lost in my darkness. But now that I was without him, I had nothing to tether myself to as a war waged inside of me. I was slowly being lost inside of myself, and no one saw it. My pain was visible, but no one here seemed to care enough about me to help. They were letting me drown in my own devastation, betrayal, and madness.

“Is something wrong?” Jesper took a small step toward me. “You keep looking at something.”

I glared at his movement, and he instantly stopped. The dagger in my hand was gripped tightly to help ground myself. I did not like talking about Cassius with them. They refused to let me go to Crimson to kill him. My father had said I was not ready, and the Cerithia guards would need me to train them for war. It was stupid, but it felt like my father was keeping me away from Crimson for another reason too.

“Jesper, leave us. I want to talk with Thea.” My father frowned at me, like he could finally see how utterly broken I was.

Jesper hesitated at my father’s demand but left without protest. I felt awkward as my father stood there staring at me without saying much at first.

“Did you want to walk the grounds as we talk? You used to enjoy that.” His green eyes filled with sadness at his statement. I nodded as I put my dagger in its sheath. Guards followed us at a safe distance.

Cerithia was hotter than Crimson was. I found it nearly unbearable to wear my green cloak here, but I did because it brought me comfort. My mind was blank as my eyes looked anywhere but at my father. My fingers picked at the loose thread of my cloak as I waited for him to speak. Birds were starting to chirp in the distance as the sun rose, and I would have found it peaceful if I was not so worried about what my father wanted to tell me.

“I apologize for how things have been since your return. It was probably not the big welcome home that you had expected from us, but I want to explain why so that maybe you can understand our perspective on things.”

I glanced at my father, relieved that he wanted to tell me anything. My mind swarmed with hardly any thoughts since Cassius betrayed me. Most days I went through the motions of what I needed to do, but at the end of the day, I could not recall details from anything I did. Time has moved slowly since being here.

“It is partially my fault that you fell in love with Cassius.”His confession had me snapping my gaze to his.

“You were the best warrior that had ever come from Cerithia. I was so proud that you wanted to become the captain of my armies. You were always so clever that I thought you could handle the mission I sent you on.”

My chest tightened, desperate to find out any information about my life that was not tied directly to Cassius.

“You trained for months and months before you went, and I had no doubts that you would be successful. You were the perfect assassin—beautiful like your mother, powerful too, but tactical like me. I thought I was so clever to have you weasel your way into Crimson with the pretense of pretending to love Cassius. You were to use him, get information, then kill him and return.”

“I was a spy?” I questioned.

My father nodded before he continued.

“Months passed by, and we had stopped hearing anything from you. I thought you couldn’t get correspondence to us, so I waited. But as time passed, I realized something was wrong. We tried to send guards to Crimson to get you, but none of them ever returned. Then one day, you appeared in the throne room, claiming to love Cassius.”

My father’s disappointment was clear in his voice, and shame filled me.

“You told me he was not a monster. How Crimson was this magical place, and you didn’t think we should be at war with them. I couldn’t believe my own ears. I begged you to stay in Cerithia and not go back, but you refused. Gods, I felt so disgusted having to tell the fae of Cerithia how my own daughter had chosen Crimson. It was a betrayal that no one here has forgotten. I admit that things have never been good between you, Gwyn, and the girls, but that just put an even bigger wedge between all of you.”

“So that is why they don’t seem happy I’m back,” I sighed.

“It’s been a difficult time for us to adjust to your return, but I am happy to have you at home.” He gave me a small smile. “Besides, a few months later, you came back panicked. You told me that Cassius had enchanted you and your view of Crimson, that everything you thought about him was not your own thoughts or feelings. I had never seen you so terrified of another fae as you were of Cassius that night.”

Enchantment. Is that what he did to me during the trials? It would explain why I felt so drawn to him. It explained why I still had these unforgivable feelings for him, even though he killed me.

“So, you came home, and you fought harder than I had ever seen you fight before. You never did tell me how you learned of the enchantment, but you told me that you understood why Cassius was known as this heartless, cruel male. You wanted to kill him; that is why you were in Crimson the day he killed you. You wanted to end him, but he got to you first.”

Gods, Cassius had been manipulating me through my dreams since before I ever left Exile. My mind raced with memories of us, trying to understand when exactly he had enchanted me. Was it in my dreams, or perhaps it was the first time he spoke to me at the trials? Is that why everyone in Crimson treated me so kindly? It was all fake.

“I still don’t understand why he would make up the trials and pretend to care for me,” I confessed.

“That bloodstone holds great power, Thea. It was gifted to me by your mother, and Cassius wanted it. I must admit that what he did was the cleverest plan I have ever seen concocted. He killed you, not knowing that the gods would be angry because your prophecy had not been fulfilled. He didn’t account for the god, Mikel, being furious with him when he came from the stars. Cassius was cursed by the gods that day.”

I stopped walking.

“Cassius was cursed?” That couldn’t be right. I was cursed. I had no memories.

“Yes. The gods were furious with him for taking your life because your prophecy hadn’t come true. Your power is unheard of, Thea. The gods had big plans for you, and he ruined them. Cassius probably assumed he could charm his way out of repercussions, but Mikel didn’t listen to anything he had to say.”

“But I lost my memories; how does that curse Cassius?”

“Mikel thought he was sparing you the pain of Cassius’ betrayal, but there was another reason he took your memories. He did it to make breaking Cassius’ curse harder for him. I also believe that he was only trying to wipe Cassius from your memories, but he wiped everything by accident. It was Cassius’ intent for you to choose him and give him the bloodstone, thereby breaking his curse,” my father sighed heavily. “The curse causes Cassius to lose parts of his elite magic for every year that passes without you breaking his curse. He also cannot take the throne or create an heir for Crimson. Essentially, he is useless to his kingdom if he cannot take over the crown.”

The revelations had my mind reeling. “That was why he wanted the stone so badly,” I said. “What would have happened if I gave it to him?” I shook my head as I realized how close I had been to giving him exactly what he wanted that day.

“His powers would have multiplied, and he likely would have begun to slaughter the other kingdoms. Crimson wants all of Elloryon to be ruled by one king, and the only way they can do that is to get rid of the rest of the royal bloodlines.”

Gods, I felt so stupid.

“Cassius is powerful, Thea. His elite magic is unheard of, but some fae think he has a second magic. One that can manipulate the minds of others. I don’t know if it is true, but I do know that he used either that or an enchantment against you. Whichever it is, it has worked multiple times.”

“I feel stupid,” I confessed. “I have caused so much chaos unintentionally.”

“Well, I do not hold it against you, but I must warn you that others in Cerithia do not share my forgiveness. This will be a hard journey here.”

“I understand.” I nodded as the sun beat down on us as if it were punishing me for almost betraying my family. “I will do my best to not get upset about it.”

“I know you have asked to go to Crimson to kill Cassius, and I have not been willing. It is only that I fear you will fall for his manipulation again, Thea. I fear losing you. I also know...” he paused, almost unsure of what to say next. “I also know that killing Cassius is the only way to get your memories back.”

The thought of killing Cassius made my stomach churn. It made perfect sense, but I didn’t like the thought of it. My father’s words sank into me. It had been obvious that he was keeping me from anything war-related, but now it all makes sense. Could I be trusted so close to Cassius without my feelings clouding my judgment?

“I don’t blame you, but at some point, you must let me try.”

“I promise,” he said with a soft smile.

We walked through the small gardens in silence, but now it wasn’t awkward. Shame filled me. This must have been so difficult for my family to go through. I had caused so much hurt and heartache for my family and kingdom.

“We sent guards to Exile per your request,” he broke the silence. “They found no trace of the town or the tree with the X carved into it that you described. It must be part of the curse, an illusion of living a normal life with other fae before you get your chance to break the curse.”

Pain seared into me. Sybil and the twins weren’t here anymore. They were gone, and I would never get to say my goodbyes or tell them what happened to me. Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of never hugging them again. My father must have seen my pain because he stopped and wrapped his arms around me, embracing me as I cried about the family I had in Exile.

“I’m sorry, Thea. You have lost everything you knew, but I promise we will do our best to make you feel at home.”

★★?★★

I had never felt more out of place in my life. My father had planned a feast to honor me in front of the kingdom, and I did not want to be here. Everyone stared at me when I walked into the celebration, as if they had hoped I would never show my face here again. Which seemed fitting because not a soul had come over to welcome me back or to say hello.

At first, I hesitated to come at all, but my father insisted that it was good to get me in the public eye again. It was time to try and repair the damage I had done before I was tricked. I was hiding in a corner of the ballroom, where everyone seemed to leave a large space around me. A group of younger fae stood at the food tables, staring at me and laughing. I tried not to show my anger or irritation, but my darkness simmered inside of me.

My father spared no expense in decorating the space with gold and crystals. The amount of food was so vast that I’m sure it could feed the entire city below us, but the smell of the food made my stomach curdle. Most of the guests stood on the outskirts of the dance floor that was in the center of the room. The large crystal chandelier dangled high above us, with ribbons of blue and gold draping from it to the walls.

The sound of laughter floated all around me. It nearly drowned out the soft music that played. My favorite thing about the space was the flowers. Each table was covered in gold tablecloths, and in the center were large flower centerpieces. The white and blue looked so beautiful.

My father and Gwyn had begun to ignore me only two minutes after my arrival, and I hadn’t even seen my half-sisters. Not that they would bring me comfort. I knew my father and Gwyn had to mingle and interact with the others, but I had hoped for my father to at least show me around and help me acclimate. I shifted back and forth on my feet, wondering how long I needed to stay. Would anyone notice if I just left? I stiffened up when I saw Jesper. Before I could move, he made a beeline right for me, even though I was trying to hide from him.

“Thea, you look remarkable.” He smiled sincerely.

“Thanks,” I half-muttered. I felt uncomfortable in the light blue silk dress I wore. It showed my scars to everyone. Glancing around, I could see the other fae watching Jesper, and I like they couldn’t believe he was so close to me.

“Dance with me.” He held out his hand. I went to refuse, but he grabbed my hand and practically dragged me with him onto the dance floor. Jesper pulled me flush against him. It was too close for my liking. Everyone’s eyes burned into us, and I felt my cheeks getting hot under the scrutiny.

“How are you enjoying your celebration?”

“I would hardly call it my celebration when only you have uttered a word to me. They won’t even come near me.”

Jesper glanced around, seeming to realize all the staring.

“You intimidate them.”

“They look at me like I’m disgusting, like they hate me.” Sighing, I glanced up at Jesper. “Did they treat me like this before I left?”

There was something familiar in the looks of disgust and the contentment of being left alone in a crowd of others. This was not anything new to me, even if I couldn’t remember the details. Jesper stared deeply into my eyes, as if he cared about me.

“No,” he lied. “They just didn’t know you were back, and they don’t know how to interact with you after everything.”

I felt like he was lying. There was no way that these faes had missed me or even cared that I was gone.

“You must remember that you betrayed everyone here by going to Crimson. They will be standoffish until you prove your loyalty.”

“How am I supposed to do that? I already chose Cerithia,” I sighed heavily.

Jesper’s pretty blue eyes glanced down at me and frowned.

“Give them time, Thea. It has only been a few weeks.”

“Why are you so kind to me?” I whispered. He was the only one here who seemed to not care about my betrayal, and I couldn’t understand why. Jesper gave me a soft smile.

“I’ve been given a second chance to prove to you that I can be more. I can give you the life you deserve. I’m not the pretentious prick I was before. I want to show you I can be worthy of your love.”

His words were kind, but they made my stomach twist with dread. I didn’t want him. My blood bond burned violently on my arm at his words. How could I ever trust someone again?

“You don’t need to say anything right now,” Jesper sighed. “But you were mine first. Before he came and tricked you, he stole you from me. I guess I underestimated how much Cassius was willing to do to convince you that he had a heart. He has a reputation as being a stone-cold, unstable man. Someone like that doesn’t know how to love anything but greed and power.”

I said nothing. Cassius could never love me; I knew this because it seemed that no one cared about me. Love was not a possible emotion for someone to feel about me; I had learned this the hard way. Even Jesper’s words meant nothing to me. There was no way I could trust him.

“Don’t tell me you don’t agree with me.” Jesper’s voice was annoyed as his hand gripped mine tighter than necessary. “You understand that Cassius only paid any attention to you because he needed something from you, right? I’m sure he’s already moved on to his next victim.”

“Stop,” I hissed. Jesper was too much; this celebration was too much.

Everyone was gawking at us, and it made me uncomfortable. My chest tightened at the looks of the other fae. I didn’t want to ruin trying to make amends with them.

Jesper’s hands gripped me tighter.

“I want to hear you admit that Cassius is nothing to you.”

“Piss off,” I snapped as I tried to leave. Jesper refused to let me go.

“You better get over this unrequited love before we...”

“Is everything alright?” Gwyn raised her brow at the scene Jesper was causing. “Thea?”

“Jesper won’t let me leave, and he’s making me uncomfortable.”

She looked at Jesper, and I expected her to tell him to release me and not talk to me in ways I didn’t like. Gwyn’s eyes were cold and distant when she looked back at me. Her lips twitched with smugness.

“You will do well to remember that Jesper is royalty and should be treated with respect. Quit making a scene.”

Jesper smirked at me when I physically flinched at Gwyn’s words. She wasn’t going to stick up for me.

“I’m royalty too. He should not be allowed to grab me like that.”

Gwyn and Jesper started chuckling.

“You are a bastard daughter, Thea; you are not royalty. You knew your place here before; do not make this harder on yourself by remaining ignorant. You are the captain of the armies, nothing more.”

Her words cracked open a deep wound I didn't even know I harbored inside of me. I glanced at them, then at the fae watching the exchange, sneering at me like I was the problem. My chest ached at the faces full of disgust.

“Am I not part of your family?” I asked.

“Of course,” she smiled, like she hadn’t said such an awful thing to me moments ago. “You need to remember your place because I will not tolerate any insubordination that you learned in Crimson.”

“I’m insubordinate because I do not want Jesper grabbing me roughly, and I do not wish to speak of Cassius.”

Gwyn’s eyes were wild with anger at the mention of Cassius.

“You should probably leave. It has been an overwhelming time for you.”

A heavy, dull pain spread through me as I turned from her. I headed for the side door of the room, trying to ignore the stares. Anger surged forward to shield me from the disappointment I felt in Gwyn. I know they were weary of me, but it was obvious that Jesper was out of line, and she didn’t stick up for me.

The group of fae that had been gathered around the food table laughing at me earlier all stared as I tried to leave peacefully. My darkness hummed at the fear I felt from them as I got closer.

“Well, if it isn’t the Crimson whore,” one of them snickered as I was walking by. The insult wasn’t meant for me to hear, but my darkness, already upset, surged forward. My feet stopped immediately, and I turned to the woman who had made the cruel remark. The group had stopped laughing when my eyes flashed black toward them.

“What did you just call me?” I took an intimidating step forward, and they all stepped back.

“Nothing,” she muttered.

“No, not nothing.” I stepped closer to her as my eyes narrowed on her. “Crimson whore.”

The woman tried to mask her terror as she straightened herself up and scoffed. This had several of the others in her group following suit. Pretending to be so brave in front of the monster.

“That’s right. You are Crimson’s whore. You can ask anyone in Cerithia; it’s what we all call you.”

They laughed, so I, in my maddened state, joined them by laughing along—only they stopped immediately. The brave girl swept her red hair over her shoulder with a look of disgust toward me.

“You really shouldn’t have called me that.” I stepped closer again. I knew that I should turn and leave, but my darkness refused to let me. It wanted to hurt others.

"Careful, Linea, you don’t want the whore to touch you,” another woman said in disgust. It was enough to distract me from snapping this woman’s neck.

“Out of respect for my father, I will not kill you and ruin this party.” I paused for a moment. “But just know that you will not get away with saying any of this. I will hunt you down, and I will cut the tongue from your mouth for being a disrespectful bitch. I will find you when you least expect it. I will not wait for you to be alone or wait as you walk home in the dark. No, there will be a crowd gathered in broad daylight when I come for you.” My darkness was in control at this point, and I couldn’t stop the threat from escaping me.

“Do you know who we are?” Linea scoffed. The tremor in her voice showed me that her confidence had wavered. “Our families are nobility.”

“Noble or not, you will bleed the same as any of the other fae who have died by my hands. The next time you two see me, it will be when my dagger is cutting your tongues out.”

I glanced at all of them, allowing my fire mist to swirl around me for a moment before turning and leaving. My anger simmered so violently inside of me that I thought I would burn down the castle if I didn’t escape it. I turned and headed for the closest door, needing to get out. As I ran from the castle, I realized that I felt detached from everything that had happened. My darkness was still in control of me, and I couldn’t stop it.

“Thea!” Gwyn had caught up to me outside. “How dare you!”

I didn’t respond. Not only because I knew she would not listen, but I also worried I would lose complete control. I knew it was useless to try and evade her. She cared too much about her image to let what I said to the guests go.

“You threatened the lives of two noble daughters.”

“It was more of a promise.” I glared at her. “I could have done it in there, in front of all your guests.”

“You will not do it at all.”

“They called me Crimson’s whore,” I ground out.

“Well, you are. If you hadn’t crawled into bed with Cassius, then Cerithians wouldn’t call you Crimson’s whore.”

Her words almost made my fire burst out of me again. She had better stop talking because I could feel myself slipping farther into the darkness.

“I’m your daughter. You shouldn’t allow such disrespect toward me.”

Her jaw clenched tightly. “You are not my child.”

Her words hurt me more than I cared to admit, but only for a moment. My darkness wouldn’t allow me to be upset over Gwyn. It gripped me tighter, making my hands clench tightly. My vision pulsed red. Gwyn grabbed my arm and tried to force me back with her.

“You will come and apologize now.”

“Don’t ever touch me,” I said softly, ripping my arm from her.

My father appeared and walked toward us in a hurry.

“Thea? Gwyn?” he questioned. He stopped and took a hesitant step back from the sight of me.

“Your daughter threatened the lives of two noble daughters and refused to apologize.”

My father frowned at me.

“Thea, why would you do that?” His disappointment doused my anger slightly.

“They called me Crimson’s whore.”

My father opened his mouth to talk, but Gwyn stepped forward before he could.

Gwyn’s eyes bore into me with such disgust. “You better get a better grip on yourself because I will not let you destroy our image any more than you already have. You did this to yourself by sleeping with that monster, Cassius, so if others call you Crimson’s whore, just know you earned that title yourself.”

“Gwyn!” my father yelled at her.

At her harsh words, the last of my control left me. I felt my darkness escape me, and I smiled as it crept along the ground toward Gwyn. Without warning, it coiled around her and lifted her a few feet into the air. I forced the darkness to tighten on her, slowly restricting her breathing. I wanted to punish her, and my darkness was urging me to just do it. I could kill her without lifting a finger.

“Thea…” My father’s panicked voice made me pause. “Don’t hurt her.”

I stepped toward Gwyn, and I could practically taste the fear her body pumped out. Stars above, her fear only fueled my darkness more. It took every ounce of restraint I had to pull my darkness back. My body trembled with pain as it tried to claw its way out of me again.

“One day, you’ll regret what you just said to me,” I promised before dropping her to the ground roughly. My fingers dug into my palms so hard that I could feel warm blood seeping through them.

Gwyn started wailing, and I just stared at her with disgust. My darkness felt pleasure in watching her cry. And, like a monster, I also felt happy about it.

“I will not be treated like this. I did not come here to be treated worse than Crimson ever treated me.”

My father whipped his head around, his green eyes full of anger. His lips curled.

“You will never compare my kingdom to Crimson. Everything there was a lie!”

"Well, fake or not, they could at least pretend to enjoy my presence for a night,” I said, just to get back at him and his terrible wife.

“Please, you must give us time to try,” he begged. “How dare you treat us like this. We are your family.”

His words stopped my anger almost immediately. My darkness retreated inside of me enough to allow shame to fill me.

“Is everything alright?” Jesper’s voice broke through my guilt and angered me all over again. This started because he was an asshole.

“Thea’s lost her fucking mind,” Gwyn declared.

Jesper turned toward me and frowned. Tally and Mae were coming up behind him too. They slowed down when they saw their mother crying hysterically.

“What did you do?” Tally yelled.

I ignored her and focused on the way my sisters curled into my father’s side for protection. The sight of him holding them safe from me, the monster, made me sick.

“You’re a monster!” Mae cried out when she saw her mother.

I gave them a small smile. My darkness swirled around me in an angry vortex.

They were right. I was a monster. I couldn’t even keep myself together for one night. I turned away from them and headed into the woods, walking without thought as far as I could. Once I was far enough away from them, a vicious scream tore through me. The pain I felt and the power that I released as a result of it left me in waves, ripping trees from their roots and scorching the forest around me. Power pulsed from me violently. I had never felt so upset with myself. I had never wanted to explode and take everything around me out like this.

I fell to my knees as my power quickly drained from me. Tears filled my eyes, knowing I had probably made things worse for myself here. How could I win them over and prove my loyalty to them if Cassius had damaged me so much that I couldn’t even turn an eye to one hateful comment?

I cried because I did not think anything would fill this void I had become. There was no cure for this silence that lived inside of me. Nothing brought me happiness. I looked forward to nothing. Hopelessness filled me and gripped me so tightly that I thought I would die. My lungs couldn’t get enough air. My heart palpated, causing a sharp pain in my chest as I tried sucking in a deep breath.

I was dying. I had to be. Desperately, I tried to take a deep breath, but I still couldn’t get enough air. Tears blurred my vision as I looked around.

My mind froze in shock as Wisp suddenly appeared near me. It was the first time I had seen her since Cassius’ betrayal. She turned away and floated deeper into the forest, her flames a bright white.

“Wisp!” I called out to her, but she flickered farther into the forest, like I was supposed to follow her. I reached out as I kneeled on the dirt, still unable to move. “Please, don’t leave me!” I begged her. She kept getting farther and farther away until, eventually, she was completely out of sight.

I collapsed to the ground when exhaustion and panic finally gripped me completely. My eyes started to flutter shut, but not before I saw that Wisp had returned and was floating right next to me. Relieved, I reached for her. But as my fingers neared her bright white flames, everything began to fade. As I lost consciousness, her flames, along with everything else, seemed to be extinguished from my sight.