14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I had returned late the following night. My father was not expecting me back until tomorrow, so I would need to find an excuse as to why I was back. Uncertainty filled me as Cassius’ words played over and over in my head. I decided that I would not tell my father that Cassius had been there. Quietly, I headed in the direction of my room. Before I could walk down the stairs, though, I heard my father talking. Glancing around to ensure the guards were not watching me, I darted farther down the hallway.

I paused at the open door where the sound was coming from and listened. My eyes narrowed when I heard Jesper’s voice answering my father. This was an ungodly hour to be having a meeting.

“Do you think she is ready?” Jesper asked.

“Yes,” my father sighed. “We can’t keep putting this off. Thea needs to kill Cassius and King Rylan sooner rather than later. Once she does that, we can start talking about taking over the other kingdoms. Cassius must be her priority. We cannot wait for him to weasel his way into her heart again.” Shame filled me with my father’s words. As much as I hated myself for it, Cassius’ words had affected me.

“She couldn’t possibly believe it again,” Jesper scoffed. “He killed her. You heard all those nasty things he said to her that day. There is no way she could have any affection left for that monster.”

It was silent for a long moment. It was the queen who broke the silence.

“It’s clear that Cassius is up to something. Why would he say all of that to her? He wanted to throw us off. I do not trust him or her for that matter.”

“Gwyn, Thea remembers nothing,” my father sighed, irritated. “You weren’t there; he destroyed her heart and had no hesitation in his voice. She pleaded for him to stop, and he just kept going. Maybe he meant it. Perhaps everything had become too much for him.”

My brows creased. Why was it so hard to believe that Cassius had meant what he said that day? Gwyn made a scoffing noise.

“Pull your head out of your ass, Luren. That man was up to something, and I do not trust Thea in the slightest. She knows something; perhaps this was an elaborate plan they concocted together. Did any of you consider that? Maybe she is here because he wanted her here to ruin us from the inside out.”

They remained silent. My heart thumped painfully fast in my chest. Why would she think I was working with Cassius?

“I don’t think he would send her here intentionally. Cassius would never be so reckless with her, but I do agree that he was probably up to something.”

Their words had me taking a step back.

“Thea is a smart girl; she will start to ask questions. How will we proceed with that?” Gwyn demanded.

“We will face the questions as they come up. She wants to see effort from us to be a family. We cannot have another incident like the ball.”

“I cannot, will not, pretend to be happy to see her,” Gwyn sneered. “That Crimson whore is not my child; she’s yours, you deal with her.”

Anger bubbled up so quickly that I almost lost control right there because my father did not stop her cruelty. Hearing the term Crimson whore triggered a memory of the night I had been kidnapped. The guards kept calling me that. My blood ran cold at the realization that it had been Cerithian guards that had taken me. That is what they called me here. Uneasiness settled inside me.

“You better watch yourself, queen. I will not allow you to treat her or talk about her like that.” Jesper’s voice was soft but menacing.

“Still so obsessed with the king’s bastard daughter, Jesper? I’m sure your father would be happy to hear that his only son is sticking up for the woman who betrayed both Cerithia and Kizar.”

“Thea did not betray my kingdom; she broke my heart. There is a difference. Remember that her betrayal of Cerithia was a direct reflection of your poor treatment of her,” Jesper raised his voice at Gwyn.

“Gwyn, that is enough. You will not make Thea’s transition harder than it already is,” my father demanded. “She chose Cerithia. We have never been in this position before, so you will shut up and treat her kindly. I will not allow your hatred for her to ruin this for me. We have already almost lost her, and you’re lucky she was willing to believe my stories.”

I turned after they remained silent. My skin burned hot with anger. I could not decide if I was in disbelief, enraged, or just hurt. I just knew that I needed to get out of here and think.

Quickly, I darted out of the castle in a spot where the guards did not linger. My legs burned as I ran through the forest until I was far enough away to allow my darkness to take over. Fire burst from me as a vicious scream tore from my throat. I vented my frustration to the gods.

Cassius had been so adamant that Cerithia was not kind to me. The conversation I had just heard replayed in my mind. They worried about Cassius and me working together. What did that even mean? Darkness crept over my skin as my magic fed on my emotions, causing my orange and red swirls to glow brightly. I felt it as it settled deep within my bones and latched onto me, with no intention of releasing me.

Crimson whore.

My darkness tightened its grip on me even more at the insult. She had no right to say that about me. What secrets were being kept from me? What would be the reason to kidnap me and make me think it was Falgon?

“Thea?” I turned and saw Jesper frowning at me. I jumped, upset at myself for not hearing him coming. My arms crossed over my chest as I glared at him. “Are you alright? The guards said you looked upset.” His eyes traced over the trees on fire before returning to me. “What happened on your mission? You shouldn’t be home yet.”

I ignored him and hurried to go around him. Jesper grabbed me and pulled me back around so we were facing each other. My fire magic chose that moment to make an appearance, causing him to drop his hand instantly.

“What did you hear?” He narrowed his eyes on me. His normally friendly face was nowhere to be seen. I faked ignorance.

“What are you talking about?”

His jaw clenched tightly, but he wouldn’t say anything, just in case he gave me any hint that there was a conversation going on that I shouldn’t have heard.

“You are clearly upset. You lit the trees on fire, and your skin..."

I ripped my arm from his grasp and narrowed my now black eyes on him.

“You are not my king. I will not answer to you.”

“Not yet, but you will,” he threatened, but I didn’t understand. “Did something happen in Falgon?”

My body tensed slightly at his question, but I doubted he noticed. His eyes traced over me like he could read me.

“Something happened,” he stated, watching my reaction very carefully. The dirt crunched under his foot as he dared to step closer to me.

“Nothing happened.” I rolled my eyes to hide my discomfort. “I came back because Falgon’s army was not preparing for an attack.”

I started to walk away again because my darkness wanted to snap Jesper’s neck.

“Is there any reason we should be concerned about where your loyalty lies?”

This made me stop and look back at him.

“Who else would I be loyal to?” I questioned.

“Crimson,” he didn't hesitate, but I saw the instant regret on his face. He hadn’t meant to say it, but it was too late to take it back.

“Why would I be loyal to a kingdom that tricked and used me?”

Jesper’s eyes darted around us as if he were looking for a way out of this conversation. But I waited for him to answer me.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Forget I said anything.”

I turned from him and made my way back to the castle, heading for my room. I wouldn’t forget that he was concerned that I could be loyal to a kingdom that had betrayed me.

As I made my way through the halls and reached the corridor, Wisp appeared. She was flickering in front of the black door near my bedroom. Her green form changed to red and black as I stepped toward her. I could see nothing different about the door this time, but something felt... wrong.

“It’s locked,” I whispered to Wisp. “I’ve tried almost every day to get into this door.”

She stopped moving at my words but then wrapped herself around the handle of the door, popping it open with a soft click.

I immediately gasped and stopped moving as the chill of the room instantly coursed through me. Something evil seemed to press down on me, and I wasn’t sure if I should be going in there. Wisp twirled around me as if she were urging me to trust her.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly pushed open the door and stepped into the dark space. As soon as I stepped inside, Wisp slammed the door shut behind me. I turned and panicked, trying to open the door, but it was locked.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I yelled, but Wisp was gone.

I leaned my forehead against the door and took a deep, calming breath. Once ready, I turned and faced the space behind me. My fire magic surged forward, lightly illuminating the small, dark room. Cautiously, I walked forward so that I could see what was so important that this room had remained locked.

My nose itched at the dust that covered everything. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed the room was basically empty except for a large wooden table in the center of it and a small desk against the far wall. I glanced around to make sure no one lingered in the dark corners. It felt as if I was being watched, even though I saw no one. Other than the table and desk, the room was oddly empty.

I took a look at the table and noticed a large map sprawled out on it. At first, it looked like a regular map of Elloryon, but I froze when I realized it included Exile. I looked closer. Not only did it show Exile, but it was very detailed. It showed where every building was. The makeshift stage was there, the shadow boundary, and even, marked with a star, mine and Sybil’s home.

How did my father have such a detailed map of Exile while there was still a border around it? My hands traced over the shadow border until I saw the X on the tall oak tree that marked my escape route. This was just more confirmation that Leer had been telling me the truth.

“I don’t understand,” I muttered to myself.

My father had been so adamant that I made up Exile as part of the curse. Wisp’s blue glow caught my eye, letting me know she had returned.

“How does he know what Exile looks like?”

Wisp did nothing but float in the corner of the room. Panic started to seep in again because I couldn’t think of any reason that was good enough to explain why he would have this. My hands tore the map off the table, and I rummaged through the papers on the desk, desperate for any information they might yield. Most of the papers didn’t make sense until I saw the words ‘the creek will dry, and the forest will die’ scribbled onto one of the pages.

Scanning the rest of the page, I realized it was a contract of some sort. A name I couldn’t read was at the bottom of the contract, along with Gwyn's and my father’s signatures. Quickly, my hands scrambled through the other pages and found another contract, this one detailing an attack on Exile. My heart pounded as I read the details of the plan. Men would come to Exile in the night and slaughter anyone outside their homes.

Flashes of the attack that killed that mother and her young child flashed into my mind. I had done everything I could to save them, but my father and Gwyn had killed them. Tears pooled in my eyes at the reality of what I had just discovered. My family was responsible for why Exile had begun to fall apart. They were responsible for the deaths of the elite fae there, for the drying up of our creek, and for killing our forest. These contracts proved they had hired witches or some other magical being to harm us. After all, who else could dry up rivers and cause forests to die?

Wisp’s sudden, quick movement caught my attention, and I realized my fire had slowly crept from me with my rising emotions and was now swirling around the room in a fury, threatening to ignite the furniture and papers around me. My emotions were overwhelmed again. The contracts in my hand crinkled as my hands balled into fists. They had lied to me. All of those moments where I felt I didn’t fit in here suddenly made sense. It was as if my body and heart knew that this was not where I belonged.

I knew my family had never cared much for me, but I still thought this was my home. How could it be, though?

“Did I ever have a home?” I sobbed quietly at Wisp.

She flashed a bright orange.

“I don’t understand why my own family would do this!” I cried into my own hands. I had never felt lonelier and more confused than I did at this very moment. It felt like I was caving in on myself because every foundation I had made to rebuild my life was now crumbling underneath me because of lies and deceit.

Suddenly, I felt something foreign creep into my awareness. It started like a small tug in my chest. I could hardly feel it. But the urgency and pull of it became too intense. I glanced up to see if it was Wisp, but she was gone. My eyes focused on the stone wall across from me. My magic had all swarmed in front of a small section of it, gathered in a single spot as if it were trying to get through to something.

Crossing the room, I ran my hands over the stone wall, not feeling anything. Just when I was going to give up, my finger brushed against what felt like a scratch in the stone. I leaned down to get a better look at it. The mark was carved deeply, as if it were intentional. As soon as I touched it, my head began to pound so violently that I fell to my knees, clutching it with both hands. Suddenly, I felt my magic swarm from me, covering the entirety of the room around me without me willing it to do so.

I tried to focus on what was happening, but my head was pounding too hard as the magic pumped from me too quickly, seeming to take all of my energy with it. Then, just as fast as it had left, my magic swarmed back inside of me. Catching my breath, I looked up and glanced around the room, realizing that it was now completely different than it had been moments before.

Instead of being surrounded by bare stone walls, I was now surrounded by cells.

Scanning around the room, I realized that some sort of enchantment had shielded them from me. And now it was broken.

Slowly, I began to turn in a circle. The cells were small, dirty, and all empty except for the one in the middle. I gasped and jumped back in surprise when I saw that a woman was standing there, staring at me with piercing brown eyes. Her gray hair was unkempt, and her skin was pale. She looked as if she had been in here for a long time.

“Thea,” she muttered in a soft voice. “Thank the moon.”

The phrase was odd. I stood and approached her cautiously. Even though my magic swarmed inside of me, it did not warn me of danger. Once I was close enough to see her aged face smiling at me, I stopped.

“Do I know you?”

The woman frowned.

“A long time ago, I was family to you.” Her eyes glided over my face as if she were seeing an old friend. “I’m sorry, but I can hardly believe my eyes.” Her tone was soft as she cocked her head to the side. “You look just like her.”

“Who?”

“Your mother,” she smiled. Her words formed a pit in my stomach as she continued. “Bayla told me to wait until you came to me, but I got worried that she was wrong, so I came here searching for you. I was discovered, though, and Gwyn and your father locked me in here. I thought I would die in this cell.”

“My mother is dead. You are mistaken.” Disappointment coursed through me.

“I’m not mistaken, but Bayla was right, per usual,” the woman chuckled softly as she spoke of my mother. “But it’s alright because you found me anyway.”

“Who are you, and how did my mother tell you this if she is dead?”

“I’m Rosaline,” she said, pausing to watch me for a reaction. Her name felt familiar, but nothing could tell me why. “I had a son once, Killian, and he was your mother’s fated mate.”

My mind was racing. This woman knew my mother and could help fill in the gaps I didn’t understand. My father had painted a terrible picture of her, and I had always felt like it wasn’t true.

“Bayla and Killian married, but he died before she could bear an heir for the coven. It was your mother’s duty as Queen of the Blood Witches to have an heir. That is where your father came into the picture. The letter will explain it to you.”

“The letter?”

The woman nodded.

“I came here to give it to you, but your father took it. Good thing it was only a copy. Bayla always said to expect the worst outcome and be prepared. Smart woman,” Rosaline said with a smirk.

“My mother was Queen of the Blood Witches.”

“Yes, so I guess that makes you the queen now, even though you are the last blood witch that we know of. I don’t think anyone escaped the slaughter of the coven.” A deep frown took over her friendly face.

“Your mother started having odd visions of you as an adult when you were still a child. She had never had the ability to see your future, so she thought she was cursed at first, but then Killian came to her in a dream and told her that she was being blessed by the gods to see your fate so that she may change it.”

“How did he visit her if he was dead?”

“Mates can visit dreams, even if one is dead, as long as the other is waiting for them before moving on to the next life.”

Cassius had said he met my mother. Did that mean she saw him in her visions too? If she had seen the horrors he would do to me, then why didn’t she kill him to change my fate?

“Bayla always told me when she had a dream about you, but never the details. I think she feared for my safety. That is why she wrote a letter and said you would come to me in the future, and I must give it to you.”

“So how do we get to the letter?” I asked.

“You break me out of this cage, and I can handle the rest,” she smiled. I nodded as I scanned the woman with my magic once more for danger. My darkness wasn’t alert to anything, so I used my fire magic to melt the locks off. The door popped open, and Rosaline smiled as she scuddled out.

“You might feel queasy,” she warned as she lifted her arms, and a white light appeared in her hands. Rosaline grabbed the ball of light and stretched it wide enough to step through before dragging me into it with her. A moment later, we appeared to be in a bookstore.

She was right; I did feel queasy. My stomach rolled, and I closed my eyes tightly, trying not to hurl all over her store. Rosaline reached out to help steady me.

“This happens all the time to others who travel by light. There is nothing to worry about; it will pass.” She patted my hand softly. I nodded as my darkness crept from me and absorbed some of her magic for us. This would come in handy.

“Did the enchantment stop you from using your magic to break free?” I asked, trying to distract myself.

“No, it was only used to keep anyone from finding me. They had a witch come and put a magic shielding spell on me.”

“Are you a witch?” I asked, unable to tell. I opened my eyes as my stomach settled. She turned to me and lifted her white hair to reveal her pointed fae ears.

“No.”

My head spun as I glanced around the dimly lit room, stepping in slow circles to take everything in. My fingers brushed the old leather-bound books as I passed by the shelves, leaving dust behind. I was sure these books had not been touched in years and found it… charming. I liked the thought of something untouched by the cruel realm of reality.

“Come.”

She led me through fancy velvet drapes behind the counter and down a short hall until we reached an iron door. Her wrinkly hand grabbed a singular key from her pocket. The top of it having a skull on the top of it.

A sense of lightness flowed through me as I eagerly followed Rosaline. I wanted to learn anything new. I followed her in after a small light sprang to life and illuminated the space. It was cold and smelled of an unpleasant wetness.

Rosaline picked up a small, blood-red box and struggled to pop it open.

“I loved your mother as if she were my own daughter. I wish she and Killian were still here, but I like to think they are in the next life together. It brings me comfort. Now that you are getting closer to breaking the curse, I will always have a part of her through you too.” She smiled as she handed me an envelope.

“Bayla tried to protect you from your father, but she couldn’t.”

“My father?”

Rosaline squeezed my hand with sadness painted in her eyes.

“Read the letter. I will be back when you’re done.”

Before I could say anything, the woman seemed to disappear before my eyes. I glanced around the small, dingy space before opening the letter gently. My heart pounded at the thought of what I would learn from my mother. What was so important that she had to write it for me?

Slowly, I unfolded the pages.

My dearest Thea,

Writing this letter is so painful, knowing that if you read it, I will be long gone. The thought of not seeing you grow into a powerful woman makes my heart physically ache. As I write this, you are picking flowers in the garden, and I watch you in wonder. You are everything that I could wish for—smart, brave, kind, and powerful.

I hope that you forgive me for what I confess to you in this letter and know that I did everything for you. I love you more than anything, but sometimes love brings us to do things that we do not wish to.

I am sorry that I caused your life to be hard. It is my fault that when you are older, you will die for the choices I made. I have sealed your fate to be so difficult. When my mate, Killian, died, I was so lost in grief. But I knew I needed an heir to make sure the blood witches continued. The thought made me sick, but your father approached me, and he was so kind. Trusting him is what gave me you, and I will forever be grateful, but it was the start of my own downfall.

I had visions of Elloryon being destroyed as soon as I fell pregnant with you. I went to the gods with the vision, and we made a bargain. A bargain that I now wish I wouldn’t have made because it was the start of your downfall as well.

Because you were born on the blood moon, it only made your magic expand into something incredible to behold. Your father was terrified of you. Terrified of what you would become. It was clear, even as a baby, that you would be unstoppable if you wanted. He wanted to have you killed because your magic was too much for him to handle. I refused to allow that, so I made him a deal. I would put most of your magic in a cage inside of you, keeping just your fire magic free. I used a binding spell that would keep you safe from showing how much magic you had. I did not tell your father about the dark magic inside of you. The one that takes magic from others and allows you to have it too. But gods above, I was so proud of your abilities. I was never ashamed of what you could do.

But the binding spell will need to be redone as you get older, and your magic expands. If it doesn’t, it will kill you. The spell only allows me to undo it on the blood moon. My plan is to let your magic free this blood moon and not rebind it like your father is demanding.

When you were a small child, I started having visions about your future. At first, I thought they were just nightmares, but then Killian visited me in my dreams, and I knew he was trying to warn me. All the visions showed me dying and you growing up without knowing that your magic was stuck inside of you. If this happens, you will grow up sick. Your magic will start to take from you and your soul in order to fuel itself. That is, if I cannot free you first.

I have seen so many versions of your death in my dreams that I do not understand what my visions are trying to tell me. It is not always death, though. I have also seen you happy with a family of your own. It is almost as if both versions are true, but how can that be?

I wished to every holy being that I could give you more clarity of what your future holds, but it is as if you die several times, and I cannot understand why. Every decision you make will impact you in a significant way, but your prophecy will come true. You do not have a choice in that, but you will have a choice in who you fight for. I have only told one soul of your prophecy, and that is Brim. He will not speak of it until he must, but when the gods will it, he must tell it.

If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this: never, under any circumstances, trust your father. I have never seen as much evil and cruelness in one fae as I see in him. He has a gift of making those around him think he cares and has good intentions, but he does not care for anyone but himself. If you are reading this letter, I know you are back in Cerithia. Find Brim; he will help you understand the prophecy and perhaps give you more insight. Do not tell your father of this letter, of Brim, or of Rosaline.

Also, you must know that my bloodstone is for you and you alone. With it, you will have unlimited energy for your powers. It is the most important thing I could leave you. You need the bloodstone. Find it, keep it, and do not, under any circumstances, let your father have it.

Killian was such a wonderful man that I wish he could have been your father, but I did what I needed to for the coven. I wouldn’t trade you for anything, Thea. You will always be my greatest love and accomplishment. But I think I will carry the guilt of who I made your father and binding your magic inside of you into the next life and each one after.

Even though I am no longer here, please remember that you are strong, powerful, and unbeatable. You do not need anyone else to save you; you have always been strong enough to do that yourself.

There is a man with golden eyes who will watch you in the future. I do not know who he is. I have never met him before, but he seems to be important to you. He holds answers for you, but I have also seen him kill you. I do not know what his significance is to you, and even though I saw him kill you, I cannot bring myself to hate him. I will seek him out for myself and see.

You have all my love,

Mother

My head swarmed with so many questions. My eyes scanned her perfect penmanship, wanting to take in as much detail about her as possible. I paused at her confusion about my many deaths. My mother had seen my curse and the ways I died. She also saw Cassius in these visions, but she did not fear or hate him.

“I have a portrait for you,” Rosaline said from behind me, startling me. She held up a small, framed painting, and I took it. It was of her, Bayla. My eyes could not look away from my mother. It was as if I were looking at an image of myself. The only difference was her red eyes, like Cassius said. I gasped when I saw the red and orange swirls on her skin; they were the same as mine. I took in the man next to her. He was taller than her, with kind brown eyes and dark hair. Killian. I glanced at Rosaline.

“They look happy.”

This made her smile.

“They were. I don’t know if I ever saw anyone so in love.” Her hand grabbed mine and squeezed it tightly. “You are so much like her, Thea; it’s like the gods gave me a piece of her back.”

“I wished things had been different.” I frowned at the image.

“Your mother came to understand the meaning of the visions before she died. She knew of the curse, and she had met Cassius.”

“She envisioned him because he killed me. His significance was that he cursed me.”

Rosaline shook her head.

“Your mother eventually found the answers she sought, but this letter was already written,” Rosaline said with a smile. “Bayla never shared what she found out about Cassius, but I do know that she did not hate him.”

“Then maybe she didn’t understand what he did.”

Rosaline gripped my hand.

“She knew, Thea. She knew everything before she died. Bayla knew she would not see you grow up, but she was at peace with it after meeting Cassius. She said you’d be in good hands with him. You must be so confused, but you need to trust your instincts. There is a reason you hate it here, and do not hate Cassius as much as you try to convince everyone.”

"Why would you say that? You don't know what I feel about Cassius."

"It's plain as day on your face that you think you should hate him because he killed you, and maybe you feel shame that you don't. But I'm telling you that you need to trust your instincts. If you don't hate Cassius, then figure out why." Rosaline gave me a sad smile.

"Do you think I am a fool to have feelings for him still even knowing that he killed me?" I whispered. I was fighting with the idea that I did not hate him like I should. I wanted to forgive him, and that made me feel pathetic.

“No. I think your mind doesn't remember, but maybe something in your heart does." She frowned at me. "Trust yourself, Thea."

I nodded as I stared at the portrait of my mother. My instincts wanted me to forgive Cassius.

"You should go before your father tries to find you. Keep the portrait,” she smiled."And Thea, I think you know that this is not your home. But I think you are too scared to admit it, so I am telling you that it is okay to feel that way. Blood does not make a family."

I glanced down at the image of my mother, and when I glanced back up, I was no longer in the bookshop. I was standing in the hallway of Cerithia’s castle. I rushed inside my bedroom and shut the door.

My body collapsed on my bed, and I stared at the dingy space, realizing just how small and unkept it really was.

The silence of my room brought me no comfort. I just wanted someone, anyone, to help me understand. Everything my mother said in her letter was the opposite of what my father told me, but now I wondered if he had read the letter he took from Rosaline and crafted his own version of the tale. Rosaline told me to trust my instincts, and those instincts told me that I didn't want to be here. I wanted Cassius, even if I couldn't understand why. So I would trust those instincts and figure it out.

Cerithia and Kizar would crumble with the prophecy, that I knew for sure. My father, Jesper, Gwyn, and Cerithia would crumble at my hands because they had all lied to me. They had attacked Exile. My father and Jesper were using me. I would not bow. I would not bend. I would not break at the hands of men who didn’t truly care about me.