Chapter 3

3

Julie

Connor Bright was an attractive man. It was something she'd noticed before, but she hadn't really thought about whether she was attracted to him because she hadn't realized he was an option. Sitting next to him, talking to him, really taking the time to look at him…

Yeah.

She was attracted.

There was something exhilarating about the idea of dominating him, too. He was so much bigger than her—taller, broader, stronger—and he wanted to submit to her. Such a large, strong man on his knees for her… and he'd probably be nearly as tall as her, even when he was on his knees. Like her own personal mountain to climb and play with.

As they chatted, their dinners arrived, and he slowly relaxed—until Annette came to clear their plates, and tension started leaking back into his frame. Julie paused to take a sip of her drink. This was usually the point in a session with a client where they were working themselves up to admit something or say why they were really there.

Averting his gaze, looking down at where his big hands were wrapped around the base of his glass, he cleared his throat.

Julie waited.

"So, um. I hope I didn't bother you with all the gifts."

"You didn't. It was clear you put a lot of care into them. I was flattered." She had no problem admitting that. Chances were, he'd already heard that from Law, anyway. She had no doubt that Law had shared his concerns about her admirer with his friends. The fact that Connor was one of those friends made it more amusing in some ways.

The more she thought about it, the more likely she thought it was Law's fault that her secret admirer had often known when she was at the club. What was more natural than talking to his friends about when he had a meeting? And, of course, she would be there…

She couldn't wait to rub his face in it.

As long as Connor didn't mind, of course.

But she really wanted to.

"Even the one sent to your house?" His tension ratcheted up another level.

Julie hesitated, because she didn't want him to feel bad, but she also didn't want to lie to him.

"That one… surprised me more. It worried me a little. But I wasn't scared, just… concerned," she said carefully, watching his reaction. He winced, which made her feel a little bad, but it was the truth. "After nothing else happened, I wasn't as concerned anymore."

"That's good." He rubbed his finger across his glass, the condensation making a kind of soft squealing sound. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't think about how it would be different from sending it here. I just…"

Reaching out, Julie put her hand over his when his voice trailed off, causing him to look at her. She smiled sympathetically. Poor guy. He hadn't thought, but he'd clearly learned and accepted the feedback, and that was just as important to her. Maybe even more so.

"I understand. Thank you for the apology." She smiled at him. "Now, do you want to talk about why you chose to reveal yourself?"

She was still in shrink mode, but she felt her axis shift when his expression did. The anxiety had mostly cleared, leaving behind a kind of hunger that called to something deep inside her. The look in his eyes had turned pleading and eager, just the kind of look she liked to see on a sub.

"I… felt like I shouldn't keep sending things when I wasn't sure if it bothered you or not. And I… I wanted to know. I guess. If there was any chance…" He was stumbling over his words, frustration starting to show on his face, as he couldn't quite seem to get his meaning out clearly.

"Have you tried submitting to anyone else?" She was pretty sure of the answer, but she wanted to be positive. Connor shook his head, confirming her suspicion. "What makes you think you want to try submitting?"

She kept her hand on his as he sighed, tilting his head back to look up into the darkness of the ceiling. The shadows were strong up there, most of the light coming from the sconces on the wall behind them and the dim lights that were currently up on the stage in the center of the room. They would be darkening soon, heralding the beginning of the show and ending their chance to talk.

"I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be on the receiving end. I know I'm kinky. I enjoyed the Dom class, but when I'm in the club, I don't get a lot of enjoyment out of being the one in charge. I do like making the subs feel good. I enjoy that. I like being able to give them what they need. But it feels like something is missing for me. And every time I watched you do a demonstration, I didn't want to be in your spot. I wanted to be in your sub's."

The admission must have been hard for him. It came out in a rush, his voice low. The booths were designed to help keep conversation and sounds as private as possible, but some still escaped. Yet he couldn't hold it back any longer, even knowing there was a chance someone could overhear him.

Julie rubbed his hand, a kind of physical reward for his bravery in speaking, and when her head dropped down to look at their hands and he smiled, she knew he felt it.

"That makes sense." It did. Connor was a helpful person. She'd noticed that about him. Everyone assumed he was a service Dom or even verging on a Daddy Dom who just didn't take the title. He liked to caretake. He probably got some of that fulfilled by taking care of the submissives, but if he still felt like he was missing something, and he kept picturing himself in their place… It was very possible he'd figured out the absent component but was still hesitant. She understood that, too. "What did you hope for tonight?"

With a short laugh, Connor spread his hands, which shifted her hand on his. Rather than move it away, she let it rest in his palm. Partly because she didn't want him to think she was pulling away and partly because she didn't truly want to stop touching him yet. He needed the contact, she wanted to give him support, and she rather liked touching him.

It felt like now that she'd been given permission to notice him, she couldn't stop. She did like what she saw. And the fact that he'd seen her , that he'd been sending her the most thoughtful gifts she'd ever received in her life for the past year… But she also didn't want to throw herself into something that he might quickly back out of. It was clear he wasn't sure about what he wanted, and she understood that.

After all, how could he know if he really liked it if he hadn't tried it?

"I hoped you would show up. I didn't really think past that." He was looking at her with big, hopeful, puppy dog eyes. The kind of eyes that begged for her to take control and lead him down the path he wanted to walk.

Annette came up to the table, and Connor quickly pulled his hand away from Julie's, which stung a bit. She knew he was protecting both of them, but she'd been enjoying that contact, and she hadn't given him permission to end it.

That was either a warning sign for her to be wary of - or something they'd have to work on. Since they weren't officially doing anything yet, she decided to put the matter to the side for now.

"Would you like any dessert? Show should be starting in about ten minutes." Annette smiled brightly, her gaze flitting back and forth between them, leaving Julie to think that she might have noticed the handholding, despite Connor's efforts. However, handholding wasn't necessarily indicative of anything romantic. Friends could hold hands, so she might not think much of it, though Connor snatching his away would raise more suspicion that something was going on than if he'd left it.

Julie glanced at Connor, who looked back at her.

"Any objection to chocolate cake?" she asked. It seemed like an innocuous choice. Connor shook his head, and she turned back to Annette. "Chocolate cake to share, please."

Interesting. Despite pulling his hand away, he'd still taken her lead with a witness there. Now that she thought about it, when he was around other Doms, he tended to take their lead. Sometimes, he would go do his own thing, but mostly, he went along with what the others wanted to do.

Considering his closest friends were Doms—well, Q was a switch, but he was also a newer friend for Connor—it made a lot of sense that he'd gone along with being a Dom for a while. She also suspected it was part of why he'd kept his confusion and conflicting desires a secret from them. Which meant starting anything could be a lot more complicated. Julie had promised herself she was never going to let herself feel like anyone's dirty little secret ever again.

"Would you like to try some submission tonight?" If they tried tonight, she could keep it from going too far. Even though she was definitely attracted to him, that didn't necessarily have to mean it would lead somewhere. He'd never tried before. It might be that he backed off afterward. It might be that he realized it was what he really wanted.

As much as she liked making plans, sometimes she couldn't jump ahead too far into the future.

One step at a time.

That meant offering to give him a chance to try things tonight, then seeing where that led. Maybe nowhere. Maybe somewhere interesting. She needed to squash the impulse to try to travel all the paths before she even knew which way he would leap.

He might not even take her up on this offer.

In fact, for a moment, she thought he wouldn't. He hesitated, unsure, despite the hunger in his eyes… then he nodded.

"Good." Julie scooted a little closer to him, her voice going a little lower. This time, rather than putting her hand in his, she put her hand on his thigh. Felt his tension ratchet up as he sucked in a breath, as if he hadn't been expecting it.

Rather than trying to jump into the future, attempting to figure out what could happen after tonight, her brain finally got into gear, trying to decide exactly how she wanted this evening to go.

Connor

Would he like to try?

Yes. Absolutely. That was what he'd really wanted to ask for but hadn't been able to bring himself to. He hadn't wanted her to feel pressured. Or obligated. Though so far, she seemed like she was… interested? Maybe not as interested in him as he was in her. After all, he'd been sending her gifts for the past year.

Maybe she felt like she owed him for that.

He was struggling with her easy acceptance that he wanted to submit. Shouldn't she be… angry? Disappointed?

He didn't know.

Her acceptance left him breathless and feeling vulnerable, as well as excited. His cock was definitely excited. The second she touched him, all the blood in his body rushed straight to his groin and made his pants extremely uncomfortable. Yet he liked it. That was one of the things he'd liked the most about watching her scenes—the hard-on that he would get that he couldn't do anything about while he watched.

Then he'd do a little self-torture by not getting off until he got home and could close his eyes, imagining himself as her sub, with her low, sultry voice telling him to cum for her.

Yeah, he fucking wanted to try.

When Annette appeared at the other side of the table with their cake, he also felt like scrunching down and hiding. Not that he could. He'd always been too big for that, no matter how hard he'd tried. He'd had horrible back pain in high school from making the attempt to be smaller. Now, he always stood tall for the sake of his spine and muscles, but right now, he wished he could.

She didn't seem to see anything wrong, though, which set him at some ease. Julie's hand still felt like a brand on his thigh, but if Annette realized Julie was touching him, she didn't show any sign of it.

"Here you go, enjoy! You've got about five minutes before the show starts." She smiled serenely. "Do you want to leave the curtains open?"

"Draw the sheers, please," Julie said. It was a request, but it was also an order, and it made both his heart and his cock jump.

Once all the lights went down for the show, the sheers would make it nearly impossible to see into the booth. It could mean nothing other than they didn't want to be seen by those on stage or that they wanted a little extra privacy to be unobserved. A lot of people used the sheers without doing anything extracurricular behind them.

It also opened up a lot of opportunities, especially for someone who was feeling uncertain. Someone who was going against everything everyone thought of him and trying something new. Someone who didn't want to be observed while they explored the other side of kink.

"Sure thing." Annette was cheerful as she drew the sheers and moved on to the next table.

Once the curtains dropped, their view of the stage became a little fuzzier, but they could still see clearly through them, at least that far. The booths on the other side of the room were almost completely obscured, though. Julie gave his thigh another little squeeze when he started to reach for the fork.

"Stop. Put your hands on the table, palms down flat." Her voice was still low, meant for his ears only, but the short order made his pulse race. His cock pushed against the front of his leathers, as if it was trying to break free.

Connor put his hands on the table, spreading his fingers out, his breath coming a little faster as he obeyed. Knowing exactly where to put his hands, knowing exactly what she wanted him to do… it felt like relief.

"Good boy," she murmured, reaching out with her other hand to pick up the fork. His balls tightened.

Fuck, he liked that. Almost too much. He'd fantasized about her calling him ‘good boy,' but it was so much better in reality.

Scooping up a forkful of chocolate cake, she lifted it to his lips, and Connor froze, nearly going cross-eyed as he tried to stare at it.

"Open," she ordered, and he did, even though it felt weird. Not wrong, just… weird. He'd always imagined him serving her, not the other way around, but if this was what she wanted…

Stop thinking and just do what you're told.

Which was somehow incredibly freeing.

And the chocolate tasted delicious.