37. April

THIRTY-SEVEN

APRIL

It had been weeks since Steff claimed me. The change hadn't been like what Harley had described to me. From the instant his teeth pierced my flesh, I'd felt it. My entire being had changed. The bond and connection to Steff had been almost like a physical rope connecting us. It had still taken time before I'd been sure I could actually shift. The feeling, the need was there, but I simply didn't think I was brave enough to go through with it yet.

That afternoon, we went over to Kris and Chelsea's for dinner with the rest of my family. My parents had gone back home once things settled down, but Aiden and Kellan joined us. They both seemed to be bouncing back well. Aiden was pretty much back to his old self, and Kellan was becoming less withdrawn by the day. It seemed like they really would be okay. There would be mental scars, but Steff and I both thought they'd be fine.

Chelsea had texted me the day before, letting me know she was ready to tell Kris about the baby. I never got another message about it, but they also didn't call us all to cancel the dinner. I took that as a good sign. After parking in the driveway, Steff, Kellan, Aiden, and I walked up the walkway to the house. I almost screamed when the front door burst open.

Kris stepped out, arms held triumphantly in the air. "I'm gonna be a daddy," he yelled, his eyes glistening and his face stretched in the biggest smile I'd ever seen on him.

I let out a relieved sigh and grinned at Chelsea as she came out of the door behind him. She was crying and laughing. Kellan and Aiden ran up the stairs and hugged them both. Aiden seemed beyond excited at the prospect of having a cousin. The whole night was one massive celebration. Kris even video-called our parents so they could join the festivities. The warmth and feeling of family was exactly what I needed. As I stared across the table and watched Steff laughing with my brothers, I knew tonight was the night. It was time for my first shift.

That night after we got home, I told Steff I was finally ready to really go through with it. He'd almost jumped out of his chair with excitement. He'd taken my hand and led me to the woods behind our house. We strolled through the forest until we came to the same clearing where he'd first shown me his bear.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Nervous? Excited?"

"I'd say so," he said with a grin.

"How do I do this? It's been close to happening, but it's always right at the edge. It's like I can't quite make the jump."

"Okay. The easiest way is to visualize what you want to become. You can feel your bear inside you. I'm sure you have a thought in your mind about what it must look like. Visualize that. Really focus on it being real."

That actually made a lot of sense. Whenever I felt my bear's emotions, I always had a mental picture of it. What it would look like. I closed my eyes and brought that picture up and focused on it.

"Good," Steff whispered. "Now, keep that picture in your mind, and just relax. Become more relaxed than you've ever been."

My hand shifted into a paw, it was surprising and mind-blowing, but it took me out of focus. My hand changed back, and I had to restart. Then I noticed my teeth elongating, fangs beginning to grow, but those slipped away before they could finish. I was becoming frustrated when a massive fluffy head nudged me. I opened my eyes and saw Steff, in his bear form, nuzzling my leg. It was like he was asking my bear to come out and play.

When I looked into Steff's massive bear eyes, it finally happened. I shifted. It was startling and one of the greatest things that had ever happened in my life. My body morphed and changed. Once I was done, it was like everything in the world had been turned up to maximum. Colors were brighter and sounds were more acute. And the scents? My God, I didn't know you could possibly smell so many things. Steff rubbed against me and chuffed happily. He rose up on his hind legs and pawed at the air. I took the signal, and we ran together.

I followed him, letting him guide me through his domain. We galloped along a creek, splashing in the water until we came to a large, natural pool. We spent an hour with Steff teaching me how to fish with my new, gigantic paws. Steff was the only one to catch any fish, though. I'd always liked sushi, but when I bit into one of the trout he caught, I literally almost passed out from how good it tasted. It was crazy. It was amazing. I freaking loved every minute of it.

We finally got home hours later. It was deep into the night, and I was exhausted beyond belief. Steff shifted back to human at the edge of the forest. Then he turned back and took my bear face in his hand and looked into my eyes. "Okay, now do the same thing you did before, but in reverse. Relax. Allow your human form to take back over."

I nodded and did exactly that. Shifting back to my original form was much easier, and I could already tell becoming a bear again would be a simpler task than the first time. Steff pulled me into his arms and we held each other for several long seconds. I was so content in his arms that I could have stood there like that until the sun came up.

He buried his face in my neck. "I'm happy, April. I never thought I could have this with you. I spent so many years wishing this could be. I'd have traded anything I had to be with you." He lifted his face and looked into my eyes. "I love you. So much. That never changed, and it never will change."

I kissed him. My mind, body, and soul were so overcome with emotion that I could only express it with a kiss. We'd been lost to each other for so many years. To be like this with him again was the greatest gift I'd ever been given. We'd been broken. Alone out in the world, desperately looking for the thing we'd lost. Now, we'd found it. We'd found one another again, and we would never let go again.