8. Steff

EIGHT

STEFF

When I woke on Friday morning, my entire body ached. It felt like jagged glass had replaced the marrow in my bones. Getting out of bed and into the shower had me gritting my teeth and groaning. After a hot shower, the pain subsided a little. I knew exactly what was happening. The curse was working on me. This was my punishment for ignoring the mating bond with April. As I got dressed, I mentally prepared myself for things to get worse, although I hoped I'd found a loophole in the spell. If April fully rejected me, the curse might break. I just needed to handle the pain until that happened.

I drove to work and limped into Miles's office. He glanced up from his computer and watched me walk. When I sat down and grunted in pain, he cocked an eyebrow.

"Still doing the stupid thing?"

"For the millionth time, it isn't stupid. It's analytical."

"So, you think you know more than one of the most powerful witches the world has ever known?"

I looked at him sullenly. "I don't know… maybe?"

Miles turned away from his keyboard. "Look, dude, why are you being weird about this?"

"Weird, how?"

"Like, why aren't you looking at this like a gift? Why aren't you trying to get back together with April?"

I frowned at him. He was crazy. "Because that's never going to happen. I ripped her heart out, stomped on it, then walked away. That ship has sailed halfway across the ocean and sunk."

"You aren't looking at this the right way, Steff. Your situation is totally different from Tate's. The curse threw him together with a woman he didn't know. He and Harley had to build every goddamn thing from the ground up. You and April were in love once. This should be easier. Yeah, yeah, you were a dick back then. Probably not how I would have handled things, but the connection is already there. The biggest thing is that you never actually stopped loving this girl."

"Miles, you aren't getting it. Things are more complicated than that."

"It's only complicated because you're making it complicated. You need to learn from your mistakes. Curse or not, you've got a second chance to make things right and most people don't get that." Miles slammed his palm on the desk for emphasis.

He looked pissed, which wasn't like him. "Are you okay, bro?"

Miles grimaced and stood, straightening his shirt. "I'm fine. I need to… go do something."

He walked out, leaving me alone in his office. What the hell was that all about? Miles was usually the calm one. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him snap like that. Had I ever seen him do something like that? He was really passionate about my situation. Maybe he did have a point. Could I really have a second chance with April?

I'd basically done everything possible to hurt her. My mind wound back to that day in the school parking lot. I'd caused her so much pain. Her face had crumpled, and the tears had come hard and strong. She'd begged to know what she'd done wrong, what had happened for me to change my mind about us. All she wanted was an answer. What had I done? Turned the fuck around and walked back to my truck. Not even given her the decency of a backward glance. My own eyes burned at the memory of her calling my name as I slammed my truck door. One last word spoken to me in desperate longing. How could she ever forgive something like that? Forgive me for not giving her an explanation and not showing her an ounce of remorse? For leaving her standing there alone and crying?

My bear let out a sad whine at the memory. Even all those years ago, the creature inside me had been incredibly fond of April. And now, this spell had made it possible for them to be together. To be true mates. But I just couldn't see how it would work out? April was famous and always in the spotlight. If we mated, she'd turn into a shifter. Harley had done well with the change, but that was different. She wasn't in the world's eye. It would be too much of a burden for April. I knew from experience.

The chair creaked as I stood up. I walked over to my own office and grabbed a framed picture from the top of my filing cabinet. It was of me and the Major League Baseball commissioner the day I was drafted—one of the happiest moments of my life. That happiness had lasted less than a year.

I'd been drafted number three overall coming out of college. I'd led my team to the College World Series for three years running, and I'd even hit the championship winning home run the third year. Being around humans so much, though—first through college and then the pros—meant I'd had to suppress my urges and my need to shift. It made the bear restless and preoccupied my mind.

During a game in my first season, I'd been playing third base and couldn't focus on what was happening around me because my bear had tried to assert itself. The scents of popcorn and hotdogs caught my attention. Normally, I could ignore it as it was simply a part of the game. That day, though, the bear had been aggressive and took over for a matter of seconds.

The guy on second had bolted, trying to steal third. I finally snapped out of it when the screams pierced my ears. The catcher got the ball and hurled it to me like a rocket. My shifter reflexes helped me catch the ball. I turned, still not fully aware of what was happening. When I spun, a 200-pound designated hitter barreled toward my base. He tried to slide, but my foot wasn't where it should have been. The guy's shoulder slammed into my knee at full speed.

His momentum had snapped my knee fully backward. Apparently, the sound of the snap could be heard through the whole stadium. A full dislocation, a broken tibia, fibula, patella, and femur. ACL, MCL, PCL—all torn. The patella tendon had torn free of the bone. I'd hit the dirt screaming. I'd never been in so much pain in my life. When I'd glanced down, I saw the vomit-inducing sight of my leg bending the wrong way. And then I passed out.

The injury was assessed and the doctors had first said my leg would have to be amputated. They'd never seen an injury so bad. I talked them out of it, and they informed me I'd walk with a limp the rest of my life, dependent on a cane or crutches until I got too old and had to use a wheelchair. Of course, they didn't know I was a shifter.

The injury had been the single most painful thing I'd ever experienced, but I knew I'd heal from it. In fact, today my leg was as healthy and strong as it had been when I was eighteen. The problem had been that every doctor I'd been to had given the same diagnosis. My career was over. Zero percent chance for a full recovery. If I'd come back six months later looking like a brand-new man, it would have done more than turn heads. Doctors all over the world would want to know how I'd done it. There would have been questions, possibly even exposure of the shifters. So, for the good of everyone, I'd retired and returned home.

I didn't want April to go through that. I'd lost my dream. I couldn't take hers away because I was being selfish. Besides, why would she take me back? Even if I changed my mind and tried now? Not only had I done what I'd done when we were young, I'd also been an asshole to her since she's been back. I didn't want to think about whether or not Miles was right.

Sighing, I settled at my desk and researched pressure-sensitive floor alarms. I was thinking of incorporating them in a new security package. The day rolled by in a blur of websites, emails, schematics, and phone calls. It was a nice way to keep my mind off all the crap bouncing around in there.

After lunch, my phone buzzed with a text from Rachel, one of my more casual acquaintances. She understood my desire to stay away from serious relationships and shared the same mindset. We had a lot of fun together. Most of that fun happened with the lights off, but she was also cool to talk to and hang out with. The text asked if I wanted to have dinner tonight. Normally, I'd have jumped on the invitation. But as soon as I read the text, my bear growled in irritation. It did not want me going out with anyone not named April Knight.

With the first Little League game of the season in the morning, I didn't really want to stay out late or have Rachel spend the night. So, just dinner and catching up. It would be nice to talk to someone who had no clue what was going on in my life. Eat good food, have some drinks, flirt, then go home to bed. I texted her that I'd pick her up at seven.

After work, I went home, showered quickly and shaved. I didn't get overly dressed up as we'd decided to go to the steakhouse downtown. For how small Lilly Valley was, the restaurant was a hidden gem. Not only did they serve beef, but they specialized in more adventurous stuff such as elk, deer, bison. Some nights, they had specials like moose steaks or bear stew. I tended to stay away on nights they had the stew. Felt too much like cannibalism.

I was buttoning my shirt when I glimpsed movement outside my living room window. It seemed April was also going out too. I stopped dead in my tracks as my eyes locked on her. She was gorgeous. Every bit the supermodel. She'd done her hair and makeup; it was the first time I'd seen her dressed up since she'd been home. The strapless sundress she wore made me go weak at the knees.

The bear was almost desperately pawing to get out and agonizing that it couldn't be with her. I pushed it all back inside. I had to stick with the original plan—push her away until she truly hated me, then reveal the truth. She would reject me, and the curse would be broken. We would both be free. It would work. I was sure of it, regardless what the other guys thought. I couldn't change April into a shifter. I wouldn't.

After April was long gone, I got in my truck and drove to Rachel's place. Rachel was a paralegal… and gorgeous. She had an amazing body, long blonde hair and a face to die for. Usually the sight of her made me hard. Tonight, I was distraught to find that as soon as I saw her, disappointment swelled in my chest. The bear made himself heard again, and I ignored it. Even my body was betraying me. It was hard to find Rachel attractive since she wasn't April. I cursed Emily in my mind. If she hadn't already been dead, I'd have given her a piece of my mind.

Rachel and I talked on the way to the restaurant, but I barely noticed what she said. I was basically sleepwalking through the conversation while images of April in that dress kept creeping into my mind. It was all I could do to make Rachel think I was actually paying attention.

The parking lot of the steakhouse was packed. I'd gone ahead and booked a table, which looked like a good decision. After opening Rachel's door, I took her by the arm and walked inside. Before we even got to the host podium, the scent hit me. Over the smells of the people, the bread, salad, even stronger than the smell of sizzling meat.

April.

I let go of Rachel's arm and took two unconscious steps forward, scanning the tables. It took a few seconds, but I found her. She was seated right behind a large party of eight, and she was sitting with the fucking hunter who had been at the bar. Every single rational thought vanished from my mind. I stalked across the dining room.

"Steff?" Rachel called from behind me. I ignored her.

Before I circled the big table, the hunter spotted me. His eyes flicked to me, to April, and then back to me. A smirk flashed across his lips, smug and arrogant—a direct challenge. Before I could control what I was doing, I was standing over their table. Rachel, who had hurried after me, put her hand on my biceps.

I ignored the hunter and focused all my attention on April. She wasn't looking at me, though. She was staring at my arm. Rachel's fingers were still curled around the muscles above my elbow. The look on April's face made my bear chuff and squeal. It was upset. The face April made was gone quickly, but it had obviously been pain or sadness at seeing another woman touching me.

Realizing what I'd done, and how weird it was, I tried to compose myself. "April, uh… can I talk to you for a minute?"

She didn't even meet my eyes. She grabbed her glass of water, took a drink, and said, "There's nothing to talk about."

"Oh my god," Rachel gasped, leaning around me to get a better look. "You're Fiona Steele. Holy shit, I am a huge fan. I want you to know that I don't believe any of those things I've seen in the news."

April went stiff and a blotch of red appeared on her chest and cheeks. I could smell her pheromones pulsing out of her. She was afraid. My bear couldn't handle that. I spun on Rachel and hissed into her ear, "Don't say anything to anyone about her being here. Do you understand?"

Rachel flinched away from me. "Seriously, Steff? I'd never do that. Especially not with all the stalker stuff going on with her."

I wasn't as oblivious now as I had been when Kellan had talked to me. I'd finally ‘fessed up to Miles that April was the famous supermodel Fiona Steele. He'd given me a look like I was messing with him. He hadn't believed me until I showed him my senior yearbook. Once he knew I wasn't lying to him, I asked him to try to figure out why she was really back in town.

"I know exactly why," he'd said, surprising me.

"The hell do you mean? How do you know?"

Miles had rolled his eyes, and said, "You really do need to watch more TV, bro. She's literally been all over it the last month or so. Some ex-boyfriend went rogue, sold all her dirty little secrets and pictures. Got everyone talking about her. A bunch of stalker weirdos decided to start harassing her. I guarantee that's why she's here. She's running from the cameras and stalkers. She came back home because it's safe."

That bombshell had come a day or two before, and even though we weren't together anymore, and she didn't want anything to do with me, I still felt the need to protect her.

I gave Rachel a hard look. "Good, make sure your mouth stays shut."

Rachel's face creased into a frown, but she didn't say anything else. She crossed her arms and took a step away from me. I sighed, and turned back to April's table.

The hunter leaned forward. "I know we weren't properly introduced the other night. My name is Ryland, and I think it best if you left. You've obviously upset April. We were having a pretty nice dinner until you showed up. I don't mean to be like this, but you're being rude."

I ignored the hunter as well as Rachel. I could only focus on April. "Please, April. I really need to talk to you."

She finally glanced up at me. All of my emotions and those of my bear flooded through me. I'd hoped, the longer I was around her, the easier it would be for me, but it wasn't. Every time I saw her, she looked more beautiful. Even now, as upset as she was, she was gorgeous.

April's voice was full of disappointment and sadness. "What could we possibly have to talk about? Especially when you have company." She glanced over at Rachel. "I think you should tend to your date instead of someone else's."