17. Blayne

SEVENTEEN

BLAYNE

My watch said it was exactly seven-thirty. I was standing on her front porch, but had yet to knock. I'd spent the day contemplating what was going on. The feelings I was starting to have for Ava were getting more intense, but even after hours and days of thought and internal argument, I couldn't figure out if it was all fueled by my panther or if I shared his feelings.

I barely got angry now when I thought of her family. Not since learning Liam hadn't been forced to do the dangerous stuff he'd gotten killed doing. He'd wanted it. I still resented them for enticing him in the first place, but could you really be mad when you knew they'd done all they could to get him to stop? I wasn't sure I could.

Gio had given me and the guys all the resources he'd said he would. He'd done all that without any required repayment; it had all been given on behalf of Liam's memory. That was the craziest part of this situation. The Francis family had no real reason to honor some long-dead soldier of theirs, but they were. Did that mean Gio had been honest when he said he'd viewed Liam as a son? As much as I didn't want to admit it, the thought made me respect the man and his family a bit, as dirty as they were.

I'd never been so confused in my life. The only thing I was positive about was that Ava was doing something to me. She soothed my panther, which in turn soothed me. Maybe something good could come of this? It was difficult to believe. Especially when I thought back on the anger I'd experienced when I'd caught sight of her in the cemetery. And now? I was about to have dinner with her in her home.

Not wanting to drag this out any longer, I knocked three quick raps, then did my best to stand there as nonchalantly as I possibly could. I'd dressed as nicely as I thought was appropriate. The realization that I'd worn what I thought she would like was a thought I shoved to the back of my mind.

The door opened, and my panther sent a low, hungry purr through my mind. I couldn't deny that she looked gorgeous.

"You look beautiful," I blurted before I could stop myself.

Ava's eyes widened in surprise, but then a cute little embarrassed smile spread across her face. "Um, thanks. You look nice, too."

We stood there for several awkward seconds. Me on the porch, her holding the door open. Finally, Ava blinked as though waking from a dream. "Oh, damn. Sorry." Her face went red. "Come in, come in."

I stepped through the threshold, and she closed the door behind me. I followed her to the dining room, the delicious scent of the food tempting my hunger.

"Jeez, that smells good."

"Thanks. It should be ready in a bit. I made a salad, if you want to start on that?"

I grinned at her. "Nah, I think I can control myself. For a few minutes anyway."

Once the words were out of my mouth, I realized they could have a double meaning, and embarrassment swamped me.

Ava, not picking up on it, pointed to the table. "Okay. Well, make yourself useful and set the table."

I laughed. "Do you always put your dinner guests to work like this?"

She shook her head and hit me with a deadpan stare. "Only the ones who invite themselves over."

Another chuckle escaped me. "Okay, okay. Fair enough. Where are the plates and silverware?"

"Plates are in that cabinet, silverware in that drawer," she said, pointing at each.

I grabbed the silverware and placed them on the table. When I turned back to grab the plates, Ava had moved to right below the cabinet. She was shredding cheese into the bowl with the salad. Rather than ask her to move, I reached around to pull the plates out of the cabinet. My chest brushed, then pressed against her back and shoulder. My shifter hearing picked up on the catch of her breath, her heart rate speeding up.

I grabbed two dinner plates and two salad bowls. When I pulled away, I let myself inhale the scent of her hair. I stepped back as if I'd been electrocuted.

At the store, I'd thought something was there. Was Ava attracted to me? I'd shoved that thought aside as asinine and childish. She'd probably been afraid of me, and that had presented as desire. But right then? When I sniffed her hair?

Pheromones didn't lie. She was attracted to me.

What did I do with that information? In my mind, she was still Liam's girl. The woman he'd loved and wanted to spend his life with. Those arguments and refusals swirled in my head as I set the plates down. A glance at Ava sent a new pulse of desire through me. My panther fueled it, but now that I could look at things with a clear head, I thought that maybe I felt it as well.

As for Liam? He was gone. Had been for a long time.

I shook those thoughts away as Ava started bringing food to the table—a serving platter with stuffed bell peppers, a big plate of roasted potatoes, and a bowl of salad. Lastly, she set down a dish of softened butter and a loaf of French bread. "Well? What do you think?"

My mouth was watering. "I think you're gonna have to roll me outta here in a little while."

She chuckled and went to grab a bottle of wine from the fridge. "Wine?"

"Abso-freaking-lutely," I said, taking my seat.

"Go ahead and dig in," she said as she twisted the corkscrew into the top of the bottle.

She popped the cork and filled my glass with a healthy glug of wine. Once she sat, I filled my plate and started on the salad. It had some kind of smoky vinaigrette I'd never tasted before. It was fantastic. As good as the food was, it was quiet as we both began to eat. Uncomfortably silent. I should have offered to play some music or something before dinner.

Finally, I broke the silence. "So, uh, what have you been doing with yourself? After you left Lilly Valley, I mean. You've been gone for a while."

Ava dabbed her mouth with a napkin. "Well." She looked up at the light above the table, thinking. "I moved to New York first. I found a roommate on one of those roommate apps. Never met the girl before. Thankfully, she was cool. She did special-effects make up. She did a lot of stuff on Broadway and worked on the cast of Cats before they closed the show. I was basically exploring the city and trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I thought what she did was really cool, especially after she told me she got to fly out to LA a few times a year to work on movies because she was quite the in-demand artist."

"Wow," I said. "Cool job."

Ava nodded. "Yeah. She did regular make-up sessions between the special-effects stuff. After about two months, I asked if she could teach me what she did. Originally it was for fun." She stopped and sighed. "Ugh. I hate saying this, but…I was sort of living off Dad's money at the time. He'd told me to go live my life and he'd pay for everything. The first few weeks were nice. You have no idea how expensive New York City is, and it was liberating to experience the city without worrying about money. But I really wanted to do it on my own and not be tied to Dad's money. I thought I could maybe do what she did.

"Well, after showing me a few simple things, she told me I was a natural and got me signed up for some classes at a cosmetology school in Manhattan. From there, things really took off. I was a natural. It all came easy to me, and my instructors saw it, too. I preferred traditional makeup to sci-fi and monster stuff. Not because it wasn't fun, but because it can get a little tedious spending eight hours applying makeup and prosthetics to one person. Still, with the help of my instructors and roommate, I started to book clients."

"Holy shit," I said after swallowing. "That's amazing. Have you had any famous clients or movies or anything you've worked on?" I really was impressed. I'd have never believed it in a million years unless she'd told me.

Ava chewed a bite of salad and nodded. "One of the makeup artists on that big movie eight years ago fell ill. I don't know if you saw it. Jaded Hearts ? It was that one about the lady who pretends to be a man during the Revolutionary War so she can be a doctor on the front lines?"

My eyes bugged out of my head. "The one that won Best Picture?"

She nodded. "That's the one. My roommate was on the crew and got me a spot to fill in. So, I worked on that. It actually won Best Makeup Design, too. That's kinda my claim to fame. If you watch the credits, you'll see my name way down at the bottom."

I put my fork down and held my hands up. "Wait! You have a freaking Oscar?"

Ava shrugged. "I mean, I worked on an Oscar-winning film. I received a certificate that's pretty neat, but the little gold statue only goes to the head artist. She was super cool to work with. But yeah, I guess you could say I have an Oscar."

A laugh barked out of my mouth. "Oh, no big deal. I'm a bad-ass Oscar winning makeup artist. Whatever."

Ava made a faux-irritated face. "Quit it. It was makeup, not brain surgery. Besides, like I said, the regular stuff is more my speed. Anyway, after a couple of years, I decided New York was too much. I actually knew your friend Steff's girl April in school. When I moved to Virginia, I contacted her and she sent a few clients my way. I opened my own shop, and that's what I've done ever since. I still keep in touch with my old roommate, and every now and then she'll have me come help on something big. Mostly I do rich wives and models." She shrugged, and nodded toward me. "What about you? How did you become Mr. Super-Secret Security Guy?"

I laughed. "Well, after…you know…I left town. I had a few more classes left to finish my degree. I transferred schools and spent my last year as a resident student. Get the whole experience before it's over, you know? I'd been doing online stuff mostly. While I was there, I met the other guys in passing. Steff and Miles were walking around a food court at a local mall, and we sort of sniffed each other out, so to speak.

"They seemed cool. We hung out and eventually they introduced me to Tate. We were all born alphas, but for one reason or another, had lost or been exiled from our packs. We all hit it off, and by the end of that month, we were one big happy family. A little alpha pack. Which is good. Did Liam ever tell you about shifters going feral?"

Ava nodded once. "He did. I guess you guys need to be around your own kind to stay, like, sane or something."

I nodded. "Close enough. Anyway, after I graduated, Tate and Miles had this big idea to use all our specialized skills to open a security firm. High-end personal security, private investigation, security system design and install. Steff and I are the tech dudes, Miles the investigator, and Tate the bodyguard.

"We did a few jobs and helped out this bigwig in Denver. His partner was embezzling from the company and sleeping with his wife. We gave him all the evidence he needed to kick the guy out of the company and divorce his cheating wife without paying alimony. He was ecstatic and gave us a massive bonus for the job. We used that to open the office in Lilly Valley hired staff to assist. That was years ago. Just been cruising along since then. We do pretty well."

The conversation drifted off and we ate in silence. It was nice being able to talk so pleasantly. A question burned on my tongue. It was a heavy topic, but I'd never had the chance to ask before. There had been too much hate, anger, and distance. I hoped it wouldn't ruin an otherwise pleasant night, but I had to get it out there.

Finishing my potatoes, I put my fork down and rested my elbows on the table. "Ava, I don't want this to sound weird, but can I ask you about the night Liam died?"

She froze, her fork halfway to her mouth. After setting it down on her plate, she glanced warily at me. I could see the fear in her eyes. She was probably afraid that I was going to start chewing her out for it like I'd done a hundred times before. Along with the fear, there was also a sad dread in her eyes. It was the first time I really understood how much that night had hurt her. I felt like a dick for acting like I was the only one who'd lost Liam.

I reached across the table and took her hand in mine, squeezing gently. Ava returned my grip, a sad smile forming on her face. After a few seconds, she nodded and pushed the remainder of her food aside.

"Liam and I got into an argument that night. Before he went on the job."

"A fight?" I couldn't remember Liam ever fighting with Ava. Nothing that he'd told me about, anyway.

She nodded somberly. "It was about him going on the run. I didn't have a good feeling about it."

I stiffened. My mind drifted back all those years ago, and I remembered that I'd had the same feeling. "We had the same fight. Before he left the house that night. Almost the exact same fight, it sounds like."

Ava sighed out a joyless laugh. "Well, that would explain why he was pissed when I brought it up. I told him he needed to take my dad's offer of the same money, but for a behind-the-scenes job. Something safe and secure. He got really angry and told me he had something to prove. I asked who he was trying to impress—if it was me, or Dad, or even you. He wouldn't say, but then he started going on about this extravagant lifestyle he wanted for us. I argued that he didn't have to do the dangerous jobs to achieve that. Dad had offered him a way out, but he wouldn't listen to reason."

"That sounds like Liam," I murmured.

"Yeah? Anyway, until the other day, I didn't know he'd told Dad he wanted to hunt down the people who killed your parents. I guess it sort of makes sense now. Money was a big factor, but revenge was the main thing. He wanted to keep doing dangerous stuff to prepare himself for going after them one day. That night, though? I thought it really was all about money. I yelled at him, said I didn't need a mansion on the lake or a sports car or any of that shit. I didn't care about material things."

Ava stopped talking and gripped her hands together. I watched as she twisted her fingers. Anxiety and fear pulsed off her—I could sense it and smell it. She was working up her courage to say something she didn't want to say. I clamped my teeth together, not wanting to break whatever spell she was under.

Tears clouded her eyes when she looked at me. "One thing I've never told anyone? Not my uncles or even my father? Liam and I broke up that night. Before he died."

It was like I'd been kicked in the chest. The world seemed to go gray, all color vanished, and all I could see was Ava. "What? You broke up?" The words tumbled from my mouth like ashes.

She nodded and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. "I told him that if he went on that run, we were done. It was dangerous and he was being reckless, and I told him so. I said that if he went out that door, it meant he loved the danger more than he loved me." The tears came freely now, dripping from her chin onto her clenched hands. "I only wanted him to stop."

I was beyond pissed, but for the first time, it wasn't at Ava or her family. It was at Liam. For being a stubborn dumbass. For throwing away the love of a good woman for some weird vendetta.

Unable to control myself, I stood, slid my chair next to Ava and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. She resisted for an instant, then collapsed against me, sobbing into my chest.

"I'm sorry, Blayne." She sobbed. "I tried to stop him. I'm so sorry. I think…e-e-e-very day that by me breaking up with him…that it messed his head up. Th-th-that he wasn't in his right mind, and that's why he got killed that night. I have nightmares about that fight every night. It feels like I killed him."

"Don't say that," I hissed, running my hand gently over her hair.

From her tone, I could tell the regret and sadness were eating at her. She was telling the truth, that was undeniable. Knowing that, all the resentment and anger flushed out of my body and mind. Everything changed. I'd been pushing all my sadness and anger onto Ava all these years, when it should have been directed at my brother. He'd done things his way, and damn everyone else. The two people who'd loved him more than anyone else in the world had begged him to stop, yet he'd turned his back on both of us. I still loved Liam, but for the first time in the decade since he'd died, a new emotion flooded my heart. Pure bitterness. He'd been selfish, and by being selfish, had taken himself from both of us. Forever.

I put a finger under Ava's chin and lifted her face. "You don't need to apologize. I should be apologizing. I never gave you a chance to tell your side of the story. I've been such a dick to you."

Ava's breath hitched as she tried to stop crying. "I promise, Blayne, I never wanted him to get hurt."

I slid a thumb across her cheek, wiping away tears. "I can see that now. I understand. I'm sorry."

One moment, I was comforting a friend. The next, something inside me changed. As I stared into her eyes, an overwhelming sensation filled me. All I wanted was to comfort Ava. To hold her and make her happy. Another urge swelled within me, one I couldn't push out of my mind. A desire I had to act on. Damn everything else, I had to. I'd question it later, but I needed it more than anything I'd ever needed air.

If she pushed me away, that would be it. I'd let her take the lead. But as I drew my face closer, she didn't flinch or push me away. If anything, she moved toward me. When our lips touched, it was like lightning struck my brain. An explosion of extreme emotion. My panther practically roared with delight. Our lips spread apart, our tongues gently sliding across each other. Something more intense stirred from the depths of my soul.