16. Ava

SIXTEEN

AVA

Grocery shopping was not one of my favorite tasks, but I needed to do it. My fridge was running low, and I'd been making extra food every day for the past two weeks. I'd eat my fill and drop off leftovers at Blayne's door. It was one way for me to know he was at least getting something to eat. I'd bought him all that food a couple of weeks ago, but I had no way of knowing whether he was eating it. I could feel better about myself and him knowing he wasn't slipping into a food-deprived coma.

So far, all I'd done was drop the food off and vanish back to my house before he came to the door. I hadn't been able to face him in person yet. Not since I'd seen him shift, and those strange moments when he'd changed back to his human form. I remembered the heat of his body radiating and warming my skin, his face close enough that his breath tickled my neck and chest, and that way he'd looked at me…it had only been for a second, but I could have sworn I'd seen something there in his eyes.

It meant nothing. There couldn't be anything there. Blayne had made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with me as a mate, and the only reason he'd agreed to try and be friends was because his panther needed me to be around. That was my go-to response when that small part of my brain tried to say otherwise. But over the last several days, that tiny part of my mind had become more insistent. It forced me to remember the way my heart had raced when he'd been close enough to touch.

I blinked the thoughts away as I pushed my cart down the aisle, tossing pasta and rice into it. I swung through the produce section to grab fruit and bell peppers for dinner that night. I'd planned on making stuffed peppers for Blayne and me. It was easy and simple enough to separate into containers to leave on his porch. To complete the recipe, I needed canned tomatoes and tomato sauce. I had to go all the way across the store to the canned food aisle, and by the time I was there, my brain had reverted to thinking about what had happened with Blayne and me.

My eyes were staring at the can of tomatoes in my hand, but my mind was a thousand miles away. Questions and possible explanations bounced around like a wayward ping-pong ball. I never even heard the footsteps behind me.

"Do you always stare at cans like that?"

I jerked, dropping the can on the ground when I spun. Blayne stood there, one eyebrow crooked up, and the beginnings of a grin on his face as he watched the can roll away. My heart skipped a beat, and I glanced away.

"Uh, well, sorry. I mean, I was checking for sodium content. I have to make sure Dad doesn't eat too much salt." It was a lie, but at least it kind of explained why I'd zoned out, staring at a can of vegetables.

I bent to grab the can, assuming Blayne would go on shopping. Unfortunately, when I stood up, he was still staring at me.

"Is something wrong?" I asked lamely.

He shrugged. "Just wanna know why you've been avoiding me."

"Avoiding you?"

"Yeah. This is the first time I've talked to you in almost two weeks. What's up with that? I mean, the free dinners have been delicious, but I thought you'd maybe check in with me. Especially after I found out hunters broke into your house."

My cheeks flushed red. "Uncle Mike told you?"

"No, Sam did."

"Shit," I hissed.

He chuckled. "Yeah."

I sighed, feeling like a mouse caught in a trap. "Sorry. My family took care of it and I didn't think you'd want to be bothered with it. Not with everything else going on."

"Well, you've still been coming over every day playing DoorDash. You don't even knock."

I was starting to panic, and had no idea why. Sweat slicked my back, and I could tell my cheeks were tinged with red. "I figured it was better not to bother you."

"Why won't you look at my face?"

He said that as I was doing my best to study the crooked wheels on my shopping cart. "I am looking at you."

"No. You're talking to me, but you're not looking at me. I thought we were trying to be friends. Friends don't avoid each other, and friends actually look at each other when they talk. Or am I misremembering the definition of friend ? Do you still want to be friends?"

Lifting my head, I forced myself to meet his gaze. When I did, he smirked, and my heart did that weird little hiccup thing again. He raised an eyebrow, and my already-red cheeks blazed with more heat. I remembered that Liam could hear tiny things like heartbeats and smell pheromones. Christ, there was no way to hide anything from these damned guys.

"Sorry, I've been busy and there's been a lot on my mind. With Dad and…other things. I guess I didn't want to bother you."

"Okay, cool. I get that, no problem. I do have to say, I'm a little worried about you staying away for long periods of time. I've got a very sensitive animal living in my head. He might get the wrong idea. Know what I mean?"

A sudden pit of guilt opened in my stomach. Christ, I'd totally forgotten. The whole reason I'd pushed my way into his life was to keep him and his damned panther from wasting away to nothing in a fit of depression. All because my brain was having a hard time with a thirty-second span of time in Blayne's backyard. A look and a feeling. What were those compared to the real dangers he was facing?

"I'm sorry. You're right, I wasn't thinking. It was not my intention to make you feel…I don't know. Abandoned, I guess."

He smiled. "We're good. No big deal." He nodded to my cart. "Are you done shopping?"

My brain short-circuited. I was supposed to grab three or four other things, but instead of saying that, I nodded like an idiot. "Yup. All done."

"Cool." Blayne placed the basket he had in my cart, took the handle, and then started rolling it toward the cashiers.

I stood in the same spot for a full ten seconds before I came to my senses and hurried after him. "What are you doing?"

"You said you were done," he said with a shrug. "I'm taking your cart to the register."

"Uh, that's very gallant of you, but I can do that myself."

Blayne didn't answer. Instead, he started unloading the groceries onto the conveyor belt. My shoulders sagged, and I went ahead and helped pull things out of the cart, watching them roll inexorably toward the cashier. The whole time, Blayne didn't say anything.

I didn't realize he'd mixed his items in with mine until everything had been rung up and he slid his card into the terminal. My mouth dropped open as the cashier handed him a receipt for all the groceries. His and mine together.

"Wait, no. You didn't need to do that," I said, but it was already too late. He was rolling the cart toward the door.

He turned as I walked up to him. "Do what?"

"Buy my groceries."

He shrugged. "Look, you've been cooking me dinner for like two weeks now with no payments at all from me. It's time I did a little something to make it up to you."

The grin on his face was good-natured and a little playful. What had gotten into him? This wasn't the Blayne I knew. It was like a switch had been flipped inside him, and now he was trying to be buddy-buddy with me.

"What's gotten into you?" I asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

A sigh escaped my lips. "You know what I'm talking about. Cut the bullshit, Blayne. Not even two weeks ago, you were willing to live through unimaginable pain to keep me out of your life." I pointed at the cart. "Now you're joking around with me in the grocery store and buying my groceries? Spill. What the hell is going on here?"

We were out in the parking lot now. Blayne stopped pushing the cart and said, "Do you want me to go on hating you?"

The question caught me off-guard. It was so abrupt. I could see by the look on his face that he was not trying to be mean or sarcastic. He was asking me a question that he thought truly needed a response. A response that he wanted to hear.

"Umm, well, no. I don't."

"Open your trunk."

"Excuse me?" I gaped at him, then my face turned red when he pointed at my car. For an instant, I'd thought he was making some crude double entendre about pulling my pants down and bending over.

"The trunk of your car?" he asked again, this time smiling as he realized where my mind had gone.

Fumbling around with my keys, I found the button and hit it. My trunk popped open and he started loading the bags in. When he was done, he closed the hatch, then rested his hands on it. He was thinking. Obviously trying to find the right words, and it was all I could do to stay quiet and let him have a few moments.

Finally, he straightened and turned. "Do I still have resentments? Yes. It will take me a long time to heal from that. I'm trying to let go of the past. With your dad sticking his and his men's necks out for me and my guys, I came to the conclusion that some things are bigger than the past." He shook his head, almost as if in defeat. "I don't know what I'm feeling, but at times like this, we need allies. Your family are our allies. I can't say I won't get triggered by certain things sometimes, but I am trying to work on healing. Does any of that make sense?"

"Uh, yeah, actually. It does." I was almost at a loss for words. He'd never been open with me. It was nice to know that perhaps that frozen heart was starting to melt a little.

Blayne pushed the cart into the parking lot corral before opening my car door for me. "I'll be over for dinner around seven."

"Wait…huh…what?" This time, I really was at a loss for words. "What do you mean?"

He stepped closer, almost as close as he had that night in the woods. "I said I'll be over for dinner at seven. Better than you dropping food off on my doorstep. That okay with you?"

I had no idea what was going on. All I could do was let the heat of his body radiate into mine. Déjà vu swirled in my head, and I had to force myself to keep my eyes on his. This was not how I'd envisioned my trip to the grocery store going. The way Blayne looked at me right then? It reminded me of a different Walker brother, and the way he'd sometimes look at me.

"Uh…maybe seven thirty? I…uh…need time for the meat to thaw."

He grinned, and when he did, I almost melted into the pavement. He was so handsome when he wasn't looking at me like he wanted to kill me. It was a surprising revelation, and one that had my body doing things I thought impossible an hour ago.

He patted the top of my car and nodded. "Seven thirty it is."

Blayne walked away with his small bag of groceries, and I watched him go. At first wondering what had happened, but then having to chastise myself when I realized I was checking out his butt and hips as he swaggered toward his truck. I closed my eyes and cursed myself before getting into my car and driving away.

I barely remembered driving home. What in the name of God had happened back there? My heart had nearly banged right through my chest when Blayne had moved in close to me. Heat had trickled from my face to my chest, and even lower. Dangerously low.

Did I see a flicker of desire in his eyes? That had to be my imagination. Surely. Unless his panther had somehow taken over that part of his brain? Was that possible? My brain couldn't compute the fact that the desire he'd shown could possibly be focused on me, much less the reciprocal desire that had simmered in my own chest.

I tried to put my head down and just get to work on dinner. I put the hamburger out to thaw and prepped the veggies for the stuffed peppers, but all that was done in less than fifteen minutes. I looked at the clock. It was barely noon. What the hell was I going to do with myself for the next few hours? Jesus, I'd go crazy.

The hours passed in weird flux. In some ways, it seemed like time was going so slowly it was actually reversing, but other times I'd glance at my watch and almost gasp at how much had gone by. I cleaned the entire house, paying special attention to the bathroom. The last thing I wanted was for him to go pee and find a dirty toilet. That wouldn't be a good look.

Once the hamburger had thawed, I was able to make the meatloaf stuffing for the peppers and put those in the oven, but that would take an hour to bake. I busied myself with slicing the potatoes that would go with it and sprinkling them with butter and salt, sliding them into the oven. I still had tons of time until Blayne came over.

The best thing I could do to pass the time was make sure I didn't stink. I went to my room and undressed. Once I was in the shower, I sat there, letting the water stream down across my shoulders. The spray cascaded down my back and across my breasts while I stared at the tile wall. What was I going to wear? Why did I give a shit? Why would he care what I was wearing as long as the food was good? Right?

The way he'd looked at me at the store kept creeping into my mind. I continued to try to shake that thought, and the thoughts that came with it. Nothing was there. I'd imagined it. Just my imagination. Nothing else. Absolutely nothing else.

But what if there was something there? Could I possibly go there?

My hand drifted across my chest, a thumb gently circling my nipple. It hardened quickly and sent a small sliver of heat pulsing between my legs. Yanking my hand away, I huffed out a breath and shut the water off, having not even soaped my body. I had to get out of there before I did something and fantasized about something I didn't want to.

But as I dried off, my mind went back to Blayne. If he'd had a change of heart and was starting to warm to the idea of me as a mate, what would that mean for me? He was Liam's brother. I couldn't pursue that. Could I? But then again, was there any real reason why I couldn't?