Chapter Nineteen

"This is what we want from you," Enzo says to me, pushing a stack of papers across his big, imposing desk in my direction.

I look down at it for a moment, gathering myself.

Every fiber of my being wants to wreak havoc on these two men; kill them with my bare hands. I was already furious with them for knocking me out and taking Kate right out from under my nose.

Now that I have met my son, my fury has been compounded by the addition of the protective instincts of a father.

I have killed many men when I was merely annoyed. Now my frustration is like a living demon trapped beneath my skin, happily emerging to snuff out an irritant with a snap of its fingers.

I can't remember a time when I have ever felt this angry and the violent thing within me is clawing painfully against my ribs, battering to get out.

My skin feels stretched tight over my bones like someone with a dangerously high fever and I'm annoyed when I realize that my hands are subtly shaking with the force of my rage.

Some remote part of myself wonders why I am capable of feeling this depth of emotion when I am infuriated. And yet, I cannot seem to tap into the emotion that Kate wants most from me.

The thing is, rage is potent, it's terrifying and it's powerful. Love makes you vulnerable. It places a chink in your armor like Achilles and the weakness that he was named for.

Love is a distraction that I cannot afford. If I have learned nothing else in this life of danger and retribution, it is that love is not a weapon that you can wield like a club.

When I have hustled the demon away from the surface of my thoughts and desires somewhat, I reach for the folder of documents.

I start to skim through them, a wry smile twitching my lips. These arrogant bastards.

They think to strip me of the most valuable trade that I possess without giving me anything in return. Even if I do have to concede to this deal, as soon as my fiancée and son are safe and secure, I am going to come back to this ostentatious, featureless house and tear them limb from limb. I might even make their wives watch.

"This isn't a trade," I scoff, my voice surprisingly level despite the clamor of anger battering around inside of me. I glance at Luca and see that the stupid bastard is smirking at me.

They think that they have me cornered. And in truth, they do, but only for this moment. The demon of violence inside of me licks its lips in anticipation of the retribution that it will get to exact.

Enzo smiles slowly. "Why, yes it is, La Rosa," he argues. "You give us what we want, and we don't put a bullet in the heads of your soon-to-be-wife and your little boy."

I set my teeth and look down at the documents on the desk again. I lift my gaze to Enzo, a sudden thought occurring to me.

"There's nothing in here about what happens to them if I agree to this deal" I observe. "I'm not signing anything without that condition being added."

Luca scowls. "You bastard," he says aggressively. "This has all been through our lawyers. It's airtight legally. Do you expect us to write new clauses on a business document by hand?"

I slant a bored glance at him. He reminds me of nothing so much as a Banty rooster, annoyed at getting wet in the rain. I decide I won't offer him any more of my attention. Enzo is the real businessman at the table. Luca is just a slavering attack dog.

"I don't care if we add the clause with a pen dipped in blood," I saw, my voice a bored drawl that doesn't hint at the chaos inside of me. "It's going into the document or I'm not agreeing to a goddamn thing."

"You would value your child so little that you would…" Luca snarls, but Enzo lifts a hand to silence him.

"Here," he says, passing me an expensive pen. "Add your clause about your family."

Family. The word feels like a gong being rung inside my mind.

Somehow, I have thought of Kate and her child as separate entities for all this time. Now, though, I realize that Enzo is right. I have a family. We are a unit.

If we are torn asunder, our family dies. I set my jaw. No one in my family is going to die if I have anything to say about it.

I pick up the pen and add a clause guaranteeing the safety of my child and Kate as soon as I have signed the documents on the desk. I pause, my hand hovering over the signature line. I set the pen down and lean back, linking my fingers together and placing them on my stomach.

"I want Kate to read this," I say serenely.

"What?" Luca bolts to his feet, driving a hand through his dark hair.

I see him reach to his side for the gun that I know is holstered under his jacket. "Stop stalling, La Rosa. This game has gone on long enough." He presses the cold muzzle of the gun to my head, but I never look at him.

My eyes are trained on Enzo.

Enzo and I look at one another in silence, two Grim Reapers standing on either side of the River Styx. I distantly hear Luca blathering on, cajoling me to sign, whining to his brother about something but my focus has narrowed to Enzo's face.

"Luca, get Kate," Enzo says softly.

"Enzo, he's stalling! Don't give in to his stupid games! I could just shoot him in the leg, soften him up. We just need to make him sign." He angles the gun down at my thigh, but still, I don't look at him.

Enzo's steel grey eyes shift to Luca and he narrows his gaze. "Luca, I swear to God. Are you the biggest fucking idiot alive? Shoot him? With my children in the next room? Do you think that he will be more likely to sign something after he goes to the hospital?"

Enzo mutters to himself in Italian, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. When he opens his eyes again, they are alive with menace and for the first time since I have known him, I see the dangerous intent that has made Enzo the kingpin of this family.

My own interior devil smiles its approval when confronted with the sight of a being it can understand completely.

"Luca," Enzo says in a measured tone of voice, "so help me God, if you don't go get Kate, I will shoot you in the head so that the rest of us can live in peace."

I feel Luca quiver at Enzo's words.

I presume that everyone in the Baldini family lets Luca throw his weight around because they recognize that his psyche requires this in order to thrive.

I doubt that Enzo very often lets the devil off the leash in front of Luca. In this way, my father offered me a very different kind of training for this life. I was never sheltered from the capacity of the dangerous men around me to lay waste to those who threatened them or the things that they wanted.

Carping at himself in Italian, Luca shoves the gun back into his holster, and yanks the door open. I hear his footsteps as he crosses the hall, and calls for Kate. There's a small delay before I hear both of their feet on the marble floors, returning to the office.

I see Kate in my peripheral vision as she enters the room, and I can practically feel the terror washing off of her in waves. I'm sure she considered finding me dead on the office floor was a very real possibility.

She clears her throat and says, "Am I needed for something here?"

I look away from Enzo for the briefest of moments, allowing my gaze to get soft, to be open to her. "I want you to look at the deal that the Baldinis want me to sign. They forgot some important details, the ones about you and Mateo's safety. I added them. I think you should check to make sure that there is nothing else missing."

I hear her swallow. She darts a look around at the two Baldinis, then meets my gaze again. There is an open question hovering in her caramel gaze, but I don't answer it. I just draw the papers closer to the edge of the desk and wave my fingers toward them in invitation.

She takes a tentative step forward and reaches for the documents like they are a snake that might bite her.

The silence in the room is thick as she shuffles through the documents. I feel proud of her that she is being so thorough.

If nothing else, the Baldini boys deserve to be uncomfortable for a few minutes. Luca is already just about to unravel solely due to this small delay. It makes my heart sing with pleasure to force him to be patient for a few more minutes.

"I want to add something else about Mateo," Kate says. She coughs partway through the sentence as if her throat is too tight to speak.

"Enzo…" Luca starts to say, but Enzo cuts him off immediately.

"Shut up, Luca," he says sharply. He doesn't even look at Luca. Luca's irritation fills the room but he shuts his mouth and subsides to lean against the wall behind the desk, with a surly look on his face.

"Here," I tell her, passing her a pen. Our fingers brush as I give her the small item and the zing of pleasure that skips across my skin surprises me. I realize that she is staring at me, and I manage a tiny smile for her which she returns with wobbly lips.

The pen scratches as she writes another sentence below my handwritten clause. Her looping, open penmanship looks very different from my spiky, elegant cursive. I see Mateo's name in the sentences that she has added to the document, but then it's yanked from her hands by Luca, who has swarmed over to look at what she has written. The pen in her hand leaves a long mark on the page and I hear her suck in a sharp, irritated breath.

"The fuck is this?" Luca demands, skimming the new sentences that Kate has added to the document. "Enzo, we are NOT going to concede to this bullshit. She cannot legally give her child to Marco if she dies! He's not one of us. We don't have to take him in by way of Grazia. He would be a threat to us all, the child of this monster living among us for the rest of his life."

Even I am surprised at what Luca is saying. My composure is shaken and I look at Kate. She is staring at me with a hard look in her eyes. She doesn't trust me, even after today, even after last night.

The pain of her rejection feels like a knife scoring my skin.

How could she add something like this to the document? Why would she want our child to be left to Grazia, of all people? And the hell of it, I admit to myself, is that she is right that her life is in danger.

Ever since I found her in Mexico, and the Baldinis learned who she was, her life has been in grave danger. Every day of her life in the future will be the same.

Enzo takes the document from his brother and reads it hastily. He shakes his head. "Kate, we can't add something like this to a business document. I will need my lawyers to draft something that will document your wishes in this regard." He gives her a level look. "Are you sure that this is what you want?"

She nods sharply, her lush mouth set in a firm line. "I'm sure."

"Let me get my lawyer on the phone," Enzo says, digging his cell phone out of his pocket. "We can pick this up tomorrow when the new documents have been drafted."

"No," I hear myself say, my voice harsh. "I will not consent to the deal with this added caveat. I will never consent to my child being handed over to a Baldini."

Kate lifts her chin and gives me a stern look. I see her lower lip trembling, however. "You have no choice, Elio," she says to me. "You cannot prove that he is your son. I have legal custody of him. You cannot stop me."

The demon, which I had quieted enough to face signing documents for a deal I would never have agreed to in all of my life, rears its ugly head again.

I feel the rage transforming me as I lose hold of the devil within me and it rises to the surface. I see the moment that my appearance changes reflected in Kate's terrified eyes.

She takes a step back, colliding with the edge of the desk and curling her fingers around it to steady herself.

"Kate," I hiss, rising from the chair. "I can promise you that I will do terrible things to get my son back. Do not force my hand in this way." I dip my chin and suck in a deep breath, trying to stop the words from falling from my lips. But I cannot. She has to know. "I will destroy anyone who hurts my son. Even you."

She shuts her eyes for a moment, the anguish on her face stark and painful to look at. "Fine. Do your deal without the new documentation to protect my son. It doesn't matter anyway. In the eyes of the law, Marco is Mateo's father. If I die, the law will ensure that he goes to live with Marco, so it's all the same in the end."

"You bitch!" Luca screams, lunging around the desk to try and grab Kate. I shoulder him away, grappling with him to get his gun. We slam into the edge of the desk and carom off it to slam into the tidy bookshelves against the wall. I don't even feel the weight of the books that leap from the shelves and tumble down over us.

I am distantly aware of Enzo moving in to protect his brother and I intensify my efforts to get a hold of the gun.

Luca is making inhuman noises, trying to break my hold on him, but he has clearly misjudged me. Many men have done that, thinking that my slender limbs will not be strong.

Many men have died due to this miscalculation.

I feel my fingers come into contact with the gun, and I stretch farther, the tendons in my arm screaming with pain, as Enzo and Luca try to wrestle against me. I just need another moment and I know that I can get a hold of the gun and turn the tide of this interaction in my favor.

Suddenly, Kate's voice rings out across the room and we all freeze.

"Stop it!" she shouts, her voice sharp, high, almost musical.

I look over my shoulder, refusing to let go of Luca, who is still struggling like a worm on a hook.

My heart goes cold as I take in the sight of Kate, poised in the frame of the open doorway. She has an ornate silver knife pressed to her throat.

My brain takes a moment to register that it is a letter opener. It must have been on the desk all along. I curse myself for this sloppy oversight as Kate squares her shoulders and presses the blade more firmly against her skin.

A thin runnel of blood slips down the long column of her throat, and she swallows visibly before she says, "Stop right now, or I will cut my throat."