Chapter Eighteen

I crack my eyes open.

What was that pounding noise?

I belatedly realize that the sound is coming from the other side of the door to my prison cell bedroom.

I sigh, taking one last moment to enjoy the warmth of Elio's body against mine.

"What?" I call out, irritation plain in my tone.

"You two lovebirds had better come out or I'll just walk in and interrupt whatever is going on. It's time to talk business."

The voice is Luca's and my insides quiver in despair. I have ruined all of my plans by giving in to Elio like this, so soon.

I needed to drag things out for longer to help keep the Baldinis at bay. Even if I have won Elio over, I have lost most of my control over the Baldinis by making it clear that Elio and I have made up.

"Not until I see my son," Elio shouts at the door. "Don't rush me, Baldini."

There's a muffled curse from the hallway and then the door flies open as Luca bursts through it.

I scrape the covers up over my body at the last moment, but I think Luca might have gotten quite the eyeful if his expression is any indication.

I feel a moment of joy at the thought that Emelia will have to compete with the memory of my naked body engraved in her husband's mind forever now.

"Did she agree to let you see the boy?" Luca demands, crossing his arms over his chest.

Elio chuckles but his expression is annoyed. "Bastard. Now you want to respect her wishes?" He drags a hand through his hair before he glances at me. "Up to you," he says to me and my heart leaps in joy at this concession.

Even if we all know that I can't prevent any of the men in this house from forcibly arranging a meeting between Elio and his son, it is nice to be handed a modicum of control for the first time in weeks.

"I promised him that he could meet Mateo this morning," I confirm. I watch Luca warily when he doesn't immediately reply. The man is like a snake, hard to read and quick to strike. I don't trust him any further than I could throw him.

Finally, Luca allows a smile to cross his face. "Fine. Get dressed. The boy is having breakfast downstairs with the other kids. Enzo came over this morning to check on the status of our deal. Don't keep us waiting."

I watch Luca leave the room, drawing the door shut behind him with a slam.

I sigh and collapse back onto the bed, rubbing my eyes.

My life is a circus. All I wanted was to have a bunch of kids and worry about keeping the house tidy. How have things ended up like this?

"What are you going to do about the deal that they want to cut with you?" I ask him as I watch him collecting his clothing off the floor of my prison bedroom.

There's a niggling and unhinged urge rattling around in my brain to ask him to come back to bed with me so I can go back to sleep. I know it's insane, but it feels like a much better way to spend the morning than in a terrifyingly tense meeting with Enzo and Luca Baldini.

Elio is silent for so long that I thought that he's not going to answer me, but then he says, "Clearly, I'm going to have to agree to whatever they demand."

My heart quivers at the danger lingering behind the flat tone in his voice.

I'm no fool. I know how much money is wrapped up in the trade routes that the Baldinis want to steal from Elio. I doubt he can afford to let them go and surrendering them so easily will make him look weak.

Giving an inch in Elio's business invites the other families to take a mile. In short, giving in to the Baldinis will not only mean that Elio will lose money; it will mean that he is exposing himself to significant danger.

"Elio," I say softly, my throat feeling constricted. "You can't give them those routes. It will put you in danger."

"What would you have me do?" Elio says back to me, slipping his pants on and buckling his belt. "Leave you here? Leave Mateo here? Lose you both again?"

I bite my lip, thinking furiously. I feel exceedingly stupid that I didn't think of the implications surrounding this deal until just now. But he's right as well. The Baldinis have been very clever indeed.

This is a trap that will be very hard, if not impossible, to escape.

"Come on," he says to me, holding out his hand. "Time to face the music." He grins suddenly, and my heart flips over in my chest at the sight. "And time for me to finally meet my son."

***

"Where's Mateo?" I say to Luca's broad shoulders as we follow him down the hallway.

I know that he said that Enzo decided to bring his kids over today and my son is with them, but I don't hear the children anywhere. And in this huge house, even the smallest sounds echo loudly off the marble floors and immense walls.

"I already told you he's with Enzo's kids," Luca says distractedly to me. He's looking at his phone as he walks.

I've noticed that he spends more time with his attention directed at his phone than anything else. Another charming aspect of his personality that makes me question Emelia's sanity.

Enzo is still a cruel man, but I enjoy his company more because at least he looks at me while he is threatening me.

I glance back at Elio but he has a distant, calculating look on his face. I sense that he is barely aware of the fact that we are walking along the hallways of this huge house. He's likely working out options to resolve this dilemma that we have found ourselves in.

I shiver at the cold expression on his face. I've never seen Elio in business mode, but his intensity is frightening.

Luca feels chaotic even when he's restraining himself, and Enzo always oozes old-mafia competence despite his quiet nature. I glance at Elio again and I think about how I compared him to a fallen angel from the bible.

His eyes aren't even seeing me or the scenery around him. He looks like he's staring into the future, not looking inward. His presence feels ephemeral, otherworldly even.

If he were to phase out of existence or suddenly sprout wings and flap away, I would not be surprised. The chill of his eyes looking through me washes over my skin, leaving it pebbled with goosebumps.

I start to hear the sound of children finally and Luca leads us around another corner and into a large room that has clearly been set up for the kids when they visit.

My son and Enzo's children are all holding onto gaming controllers and staring up at a big-screen TV. None of them turn to look at us as we walk into the room. Just like Elio, they are not living in this moment with the rest of us.

"Mateo," Luca says, his voice short and clipped. "Your mother wants you."

There's a delay before Mateo realizes that someone is speaking to him. He glances away from the screen reluctantly, he sees me, then his gaze lands on Elio.

I know Elio must look chilly and forbidding to my son because he immediately goes still when he notices Elio beside me. I glance up at Elio, willing him to start acting like a human again; to come back from the plane of danger and scheming so that his son can meet him.

"Mama?" he says to me questioningly. He hasn't moved, but he's forgotten about the game that he was playing.

I step closer to Elio and snake my arm through his. "Mateo, mi amor, I want you to meet someone." I glance at Luca, but he's still looking at his phone.

My gaze lands on the doorway to a small patio outside the house and I tilt my head in that direction. "Come with us for a moment, please," I tell my child.

Mateo remains frozen in place for a few more seconds, then glances a bit remorsefully at the game that is continuing without him. However, he has always been an obedient child. He slowly gets up and comes to join us.

I nudge Elio and he finally looks down at me. That hawklike, chilly expression is still on his face so I smile sunnily at him, attempting to connect with the human part of him again.

There's a moment of disconnect where he looks lost, like he forgot that he wanted to meet his son, but then his eyes soften somewhat. I nearly sag in relief as I tug on him and we move toward the door to the small patio.

Outside, the sun is warming the flagstone surface of the seating area. There are flowers pouring over the high walls around the terrace and stuffed into pots all around the space.

The fresh scents of this outdoor space make me feel invigorated and I close my eyes to breathe in for a moment. I realize that I haven't been outside enough since coming here.

"Don't be long," Luca orders us in a distracted tone of voice. He steps back into the hallway and pulls the door shut behind him before leaning against it with his shoulder.

I know it shouldn't irritate me, but the fact that he has never once looked up from his phone makes me want to punch him.

"Mama, who is that?" Mateo ask me, taking my mind off of my apparently endless irritation with Luca Baldini.

I smile at my son as he comes to sit right beside me at the small, round table set up on the terrace. Elio is sitting on my other side. Mateo has kept half an eye on his father since he joined us in the hall and I am suddenly struck by how much he already looks like Elio.

Even if his eyes weren't the same distinctive deep brown as his father's, the tilt of his head is the same. And their dark mop of thick hair is nearly identical. I can also see the first signs of Elio's facial structure peeking through the softness of Mateo's chubby cheeks.

My heart flips over wildly in my chest and I feel dizzy for a moment. I never thought that this moment would come to pass and now that it's here. I have no idea how to navigate it.

I swallow audibly, then reach out for Mateo's hand. He reluctantly tears his eyes away from Elio and looks at me.

"Sweety," I start, my voice soothing. "Remember how we talked about the fact that Marco wasn't your daddy, but that people were told that he was so you could be safe?"

Mateo nods, his little brow furrowed as he tries to understand what is going on.

I draw in a deep breath and plunge ahead. "Remember I told you that someday you might meet your daddy, but I didn't know when it would happen?"

Mateo nods again, still looking at me earnestly.

I glance back at Elio, who just inclines his head slightly. He's going to let me handle this, and I'm grateful for that much, at least.

"Well, honey, something wonderful has happened now that we have come to the US for a visit. Your daddy is finally here to meet you. Mateo, this is Elio. He's your daddy."

I lean back a little so that Mateo can look at Elio. I watch father and son size each other up and nearly laugh aloud at the similarity of the expression on their faces.

Perhaps hawklike intensity is genetic.

"Where were you?" is the first thing that Mateo says.

My heart cracks open at the hurt that seeps through the words. He's a reserved child by nature, so being able to tell how he is feeling so readily is an indication of just how much his father's absence has wounded him.

Elio rises to his feet and walks over to hunker down in front of Mateo. I release his little hand so that he can face his father. Elio doesn't try to touch Mateo. He just stares at him earnestly and Mateo looks back quizzically.

"Mateo," Elio says, his voice soft and welcoming.

A frisson of awareness dances across my skin. The velvety note in his tone is something I have never heard from him before.

He's an incredibly magnetic man, but this new protective, fatherly note in his voice makes me trust him instantly, without reserve, and without question.

I see Mateo melting toward his father in instantaneous reaction to the invitation of his voice.

"Your mom and I had a big misunderstanding before you were born." He reaches out and takes Mateo's little hand in his slender, elegant one. "My job is dangerous and I was scared for both of you. I didn't want anything bad to happen to you. So it took some time for your mom and I to find one another again. I'm sorry it's been so many years. I didn't know that you existed, you see."

"I didn't know about you either," Mateo says in reply. He throws a momentary, accusatory glance back at me before turning his gaze to bask in his father's magnetism.

A small smile plays over my lips. They are already thick as thieves. It took Mateo seconds to win over his dad. Like calls to like.

"Don't glare at your mother," Elio chides Mateo gently. "She didn't have any way to tell me about you back then. Say you're sorry."

"Sorry, Mama," Mateo says, properly chastened, looking back at me again.

My vision is suddenly blurred by tears, but I manage a watery smile for my child before he turns away from me again.

"Mateo," Elio says. "I can't make up for all the time that I was away from you. What I can do is promise not to disappear again. Are you willing to get to know me?"

Mateo nods eagerly. "Yes…I'm sorry, but I don't know what to call you."

Elio smiles at him. "You can call me Papa, if you want. That's what I called my father."

"Okay…Papa," Mateo says before sliding off his chair and throwing his little arms around his father's neck.

Elio lifts his black-as-night eyes to me and I feel a sudden shock when I see that there are tears standing in them.

I have never seen Elio openly cry and the sight of his emotion sets my own tears free to cascade down my cheeks.

I am still terrified for myself and for Mateo, but this meeting between Mateo and his father is like a balm to my wounded heart.

I have felt such an immense amount of guilt about isolating my child for his safety. About lying to him and refusing to tell him who his father is.

The secret was so enormous that it felt like a lead weight holding my emotions down every day.

I have never been good at telling lies and this was one of the biggest lies anyone can be asked to carry. To be relieved of the burden is as cathartic as smashing a plate on the ground to alleviate one's anger.

"Enough cuddle time," Luca says as he pokes his head out the door. "It's time to talk business, La Rosa."

Elio casts a sharp, predatory glare at Luca, who has the good grace to look surprised for a moment before he pulls his head back inside and leaves the patio door standing open.

Panic comes to life in my chest like a bird trapped in a cage. I feel lightheaded for a moment and I press a hand to my brow to steady myself.

Elio stands and takes Mateo's hand, then reaches out toward me as an invitation. I stare at his long fingers, I'm suddenly caught in a memory from our shared childhood of him practicing playing the piano.

I had forgotten that moment, back when we barely knew each other, but I think of it now as I grapple with the complexity of this life that he lives.

In the hallway, he was a killer, an avenging god from the heavens above planning to enact savage vengeance on the Baldinis. Here, on the terrace, he was a father, warm, inviting, and loving. Last night, in my bed, he was a lover who worshipped my body and taught me to trust him again.

How can all of these things live within the same man?

I watch my trembling fingers capture his and I feel weightless as he pulls me upright. My gaze feels narrowed to the sight of our clasped hands. I don't notice anything else around me.

I don't hear anything but a humming in my ears as I absorb this new understanding of the boy who I was betrothed to marry, now a man trapped in a complicated and dangerous life.

"Kate," he says softly to me, squeezing my fingers. "It's time."

He could mean it's time to go back inside. He could mean it's time for me to move. But I know that he doesn't mean either of those things. He means it's time for him to try and change Mateo's and my fate. For good.

I draw in a deep breath that doesn't fortify me at all and allow myself to be tugged in the direction of the house. Mateo reaches up for my hand and I wrap my fingers around the pudgy digits like a lifeline.

I have never been religious despite going to church throughout my childhood and doing penance in proper Catholic fashion for my mistakes as a youth. I don't know if the prayers playing on a loop in my mind are for the God I was raised to believe in or something more primal and ancient.

I look over at Elio, his face closed to me. He looks like the head on a Greek coin, frozen and caught in time, utterly above and beyond all of us on this plane. Azazel indeed, prepared to use his trickster ways to allow Mateo and I to escape to safety once again.

At the door, Elio lets us go without a backward glance, and I watch his lean, strong body walk behind Luca down the hallway.

Knowing that this could be the last time that I see him, I commit the sight to memory, clutching my arm around Mateo's small shoulders as though I might keep him safe with my love alone.