39

The first thing that hits me is the constant beeping of machinery and the acrid smell of antiseptic.

Second is the pain.

The sharp pangs of agony radiate from my stomach and chest, while a dull thud pounds against my jaw. A persistent ache engulfs every inch of my body, not even sparing my fingers and toes. The steady beep grows louder, filling the room with its insistent sound, as something tightens around my fingers before releasing them.

"Can I get someone in here?" a familiar voice shouts, and I thrash, instinctually seeking its comfort. There's a rush of feet as the pressure returns to my hand. "Someone's coming," Tai whispers, and the pain in his voice cancels out everything else in that moment. Pressure slides over my forehead as he pushes my hair back. "You're safe, sweetheart."

"Tai?" I rasp, sounding as though my throat is made of sandpaper, scratching the words on their way out.

He releases a pitiful, anguished excuse of a laugh that's more of a sob as I try to open my eyes, but the light burns at my retinas, and I clamp them shut again. "I'm right here… right here, and I'll never leave your side again."

"Hurts." I force my mouth to form the word, and another voice speaks up with something I don't catch before a second series of beeps blares. My veins run cold for a few confusing seconds, and then I'm floating in the clouds, not feeling a thing.

Nothing hurts.

Nothing at all.

It's all… wonderful.

"Is that better?" Tai asks, and a goofy grin spreads over my face.

"What was that?" My lips are heavy as my words slur and I lift my hand to poke at them, a breathy giggle leaving me. Why have I never noticed lips feel like warm Play-Doh?

His fingers run through my hair, and I nuzzle into the touch. "Morphine, sweetheart. Do you remember what happened?"

My brows furrow as something knocks at the back of my brain. Something important that demands I open the door and let it inside, but I can't wrap my mind around it right now. "Tired," is all I manage to say.

"Sleep, okay? I'll be here when you wake up." A wet drop lands on my cheek, and his voice sounds… so sad.

Why is he sad?

I don't… don't want him to be sad.

I fight the exhaustion coming over me, but my mouth barely moves as I mumble, "Don't… cry…" A tear streaks my face that he wipes away, frustration coursing through me as my body sags. "Love…"

There's another quiet sob, and the world washes into darkness.

Consciousness finds me a second time, not as a gradual thing, but all at once. The sky is pitch black outside, and Tai's hand in mine, his head resting on the mattress beside my hip.

My eyes roam around the room, recognizing that I'm in a hospital, and the memories fly into my mind in an assault so overwhelming it takes my breath away. When I try to sit, pain bolts through my abdomen and my hand flies to my stomach, landing on a thick bandage. Nausea rises in my throat as I remember the slice of the blade through my skin and the chill that overtook my body as I stumbled to Tai on the ground.

"Connor?" He sits up in a rush, eyes on mine, more exhausted than I've ever seen him.

"Are you okay?" I reach for him despite the pain that shoots through me. "Did they hurt you?"

"No, I'm alright, I swear." He stands and gently pushes on my shoulders, forcing me to lie back on the mattress. Tears gleam in his dark eyes as he looks down at me. "All of this was my fault. If I hadn't been an idiot… if I'd just paused to think for a second before rushing into that stupid fucking alley…"

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't want to help, Tai. It's okay," I whisper, pulling his face closer as his tears fall.

"It's not okay. " He puts his hands over mine, pushing our foreheads together. "You were stabbed … you were so fucking cold and still… your heart stopped beating." The break in his voice hurts worse than the knife, and I'd let myself get stabbed a hundred times just to take the pain away from his gentle soul.

"My heart will always beat for you, sweetheart," I whisper, and he closes his eyes as another pitiful sob fights its way from his throat. "Come here." I scoot over on the too-small hospital bed, and he shakes his head. "Tai, come here. " He finally relents, sliding his slender body into the bed next to me and curling into my side, careful to avoid my injuries.

"I almost lost you," he whispers, chin wobbling.

"Hey now, none of that. I'm here now, aren't I? It's not that easy to get rid of me… I'm kind of like a parasite—I'll keep coming back." His tiny huff of air is a small laugh, and the sound releases a fraction of the stress from my shoulders. "How long have I been in here?"

"Just over a day. They had to do surgery to repair the damage to your stomach and intestines, but the doctor said it was pretty straightforward."

"I can't believe I got stabbed by that fucking rat-faced crackhead."

"The police came by and I've given a statement, but they'll probably be back before you're released." We fall into a silence as we both absorb everything that's happened, and with every deep breath, Tai's stress slowly leaves his body. Before long, his breathing has steadied, his face peaceful, and then…

Then someone pulls the ripcord and he snores like a chainsaw being revved. I laugh, but holy shit, does it hurt.

The door creaks open and a middle-aged man wearing a white coat enters, meeting my eyes before glancing at Tai curled into my side, sleeping. "You're awake," he says, and I nod. "How's the pain?"

He introduces himself as Dr. Cohen, and we go through a rundown of what's happened since the attack. The mention of the CPR and blood loss causes my gaze to drop to Tai. An ache entirely different from the physical pain shoots through my chest as I run my palm over his hair. "He was with me?"

The doctor nods. "We could barely peel him off to wheel you into surgery."

"Fuck," I mutter, dropping my nose into his hair as I close my eyes. "He should never have seen that. Blood and guts? That's not… I can't imagine what that did to him."

Dr. Cohen smiles weakly, letting his gaze drop to Tai before returning to mine. "None of us should have to see that, Mr. Jennings, especially when it's from such senseless violence. But it happened. Let's get you healed so you can both move on from this."

He pushes the sheets back and checks me from head to toe as thoroughly as he can while Tai sleeps, since I'm not willing to let him go right now. The worst part is the pain in my stomach, because you don't fully appreciate the significance of those muscles until you have an abdominal injury.

Sit up? Abs.

Lay down? Abs.

Cough, sneeze, laugh? Eat, drink? Fucking abs.

The good news is that with time off my feet, I'll be back to normal with no lingering issues. When I tell the doctor my profession, his eyes narrow in judgy little slits and he frowns disapprovingly. "No strenuous physical activity—and yes, Mr. Jennings, I cannot believe I have to stress to you that includes boxing—for at least three months."

"How long until I can fly home?"

"I'd prefer a week, but a bare minimum of four days." I nod, letting the news sink in as I consider the impact on the band's plans. We should be leaving their concert right now, and on the plane flying home tomorrow, but instead, I'm stuck in this hospital bed.

The doctor and I work out a few more details, then he leaves me to rest. As indignant as I am at his suggestion that I need more sleep, as soon as he walks away, I bury my face in Tai's hair. He smells like generic hospital soap, but as I drift off, I find that subtle hint of blueberries and latch on to it.

When I stir again, the sun is rising outside my window, and Tai is still fast asleep beside me. "He hasn't slept since you were brought in." I glance over to find Dante occupying the chair across from the bed, his face stony and his demeanor somber. "You scared the hell out of us, Jugs."

"I'm sorry for holding up everyone's plans. The tour…"

"Fuck the tour, man. Dmitri, Monica, and I have been working on it. Our London show has been postponed until tomorrow, and I've already told Tai not to worry about trying to perform. I don't think I could drag him away from your side if I tried, and I'm not going to do that to him. Not after what he's been through."

I heave a shaky sigh, kissing Tai's hair and hugging him a little tighter as Dante continues. "The Charlotte concert has been rescheduled, and a statement has been issued explaining the reason." I open my mouth to speak, but he silences me with a glare. "Let us handle it, okay? You focus on getting better and comforting your fiancé over there."

My brows lift. "My fiancé?"

Dante chuckles as he stands. "Beth was listed as your emergency contact, and when they reached out to her, she insisted that your new fiancé be the one to manage everything." I try to laugh and wince, the pain in my side tugging with the injury.

"I'll have to thank her for that."

"She's good people."

"Yeah," I agree with a soft smile. "She really is."

"Are you feeling up for visitors? Everyone's been taking turns staying, and Theo's about to spontaneously combust, wanting to get back here and talk to you."

"Why are you here, then, instead of your adorable better half?"

"Would you have rather woken up to those giant, sad blue eyes and a million questions? It's been rough on him, man. Not as rough as that one," he nods towards Tai, "but he took it really hard."

"Let the little devil in here, then." Dante smiles as he gives me a gentle clap on the shoulder and heads out into the hallway. I heave a sigh, dropping a kiss on Tai's head as the door squeaks open.

"Never do that to me again!" Theo scolds in a loud whisper, rushing over and stopping himself before he gives me a cautious hug. He pulls back, his eyes bloodshot and glassy, and I wrap my arm around him, tugging him back in again as he sniffles against my shoulder.

"What, get stabbed? I'd rather not, if I have any say in the matter." Tai stirs, nuzzling his face into my chest before his eyes blink open. His sleepy smile sends flutters through my belly until he remembers where we are and why.

"You shouldn't have let me take up so much of the bed," he says in his raspy morning voice, sitting and looking me over when he spots Theo. He stands and walks over, wrapping Theo in his arms, gentle as he whispers, "Hey, buddy." The two of them tear up as they hug, and even I have to fight back the sting in my eyes as I watch them.

What did I do in life to deserve these guys?

The morning passes and everyone cycles through, Eric unexpectedly emotional. Dmitri still carries the layer of ice that's been there since I jumped between him and Tai, but he's thawing. Aaron was rattled by the entire thing, prompting Bruce to smack him on the back of the head and tell him to calm down, all the while reprimanding me for getting caught up in trouble.

Monica came through shaking her head and teasing Tai, telling him he was the one member of the band she never expected to be involved in drama.

Doctors and nurses make their rounds, and the detectives return to take my statement. The busy morning rolls into the hectic afternoon, and by the time someone comes through with dinner—a tray for me and an extra one snuck for Tai—we're both exhausted.

"Finish your Jello," he teases as he collects our trays and places them beside the door, and then he climbs back into the bed with me.

"Question." I run my fingers through his hair as he shifts and glances up at me, waiting. "What's the plan when we get home?"

"The guys have worked on getting the concert rescheduled, so if everything goes to plan, we'll be flying to the States in five days and the show will be three days after that. We wanted to make sure there was wiggle room if you got delayed any further."

"You could always leave my busted ass here," I tease, and he snorts a laugh. Slowly, throughout the day, the tension has left him, and his smiles and laughter have become more genuine.

"Where you go, I go," he says simply.

"What about after the concert?"

"What about it?" Uncertainty suddenly clouds my thoughts, and I hesitate. My eyes are shy as they meet his, but he's never let me off that easily. "Talk to me, Connor. No lies, no judgement."

"I don't ever want to be away from you," I whisper, and he softens, leaning forward to drop a kiss on my lips.

"You won't be."

"Would you think it's crazy if I… what I mean is, would it be too early if I asked… you… if… maybe, perhaps, you possibly…"

" Connor ."

"Let's move in together." Instead of surprise, or shock, or worse—disgust—on his face, Tai just melts into a sweet smile. "It doesn't matter where… I know my house comes with a lot of baggage since I shared it with Beth. It can be your place, or mine… hell, we can buy something together. We'll do whatever you want to do, if it means that I don't have to spend another minute away from you."

"You don't think you'll get tired of me?"

I grab his chin and wait for his eyes to meet mine. "Every second we've been apart has been an eternity. I'm a simple man, Tai, and I know what I want. What I want is you. Forever."

"That's a pretty serious proclamation," he teases, and I smile as I lean in for a kiss.

"Well, rumor has it you're already my fiancé." He chokes an embarrassed little sound and his cheeks flush as I grin.

"One step at a time, chippoke," he says, his eyes shining as he leans in closer. In them, I see everything I'll ever need. "One step at a time."