38

"Jesus Christ… Tai!" Eric crashes into the waiting room and collapses at my side, frantic eyes raking over my bloodstained body. They gave me a hospital gown to put on over my torso, but it doesn't hide the crimson nightmares that have dried into streaks over my skin. Numb, I sit on the edge of this uncomfortable hospital chair as I stare forward, completely detached. "Are you hurt?"

I shake my head, my vocal cords no longer working. The rest of the band approaches cautiously, and Dmitri drops into a seat and lets his heavy gaze wander over me. Theo's porcelain skin is red and blotchy, his eyes bloodshot and full of pain. He takes one look at me and releases a heart-wrenching sob, tucking himself into Dante's shoulder.

Dante hugs him, his face haunted as he fights the tears gleaming in his eyes. "Have they given you any updates?" he asks, and I only shake my head a second time.

Bruce, Aaron, and Monica are here as well, keeping their distance as the guys huddle around me. The moment Eric whispers the words, "Tai, what happened?" my fragile fa?ade crumbles, and I lose control all over again.

I fall into his arms and sob, earth-moving tremors wracking my body as he squeezes me so tight I can barely breathe. "It was my fault," I finally choke out, and I'm struggling for breath, hyperventilating as the truth of that statement slices through my heart.

Panic steals my oxygen as I suck in rapid, futile inhales that are useless in filling my lungs, and Eric's hands are bruising as he holds on to me. "My fault." I slam my fists onto his chest, and when that doesn't help, I do it again, then fist his shirt and shake as hard as I can. "My fault, all my fucking fault," I sob, collapsing against him when the rage does nothing to ease the pain.

"I am right here," Eric whispers, his voice breaking, "and I'm not going anywhere. None of us are." For several long minutes, I just cry, but slowly, bit by broken bit, I share what happened.

I tell them how I heard the woman, how I darted into that dark alley, and how useless I was as Connor fought to protect me.

I tell them it was my fault, my recklessness that put us there, and if I had taken a moment to think, none of this would've ever happened.

I tell them how his body broke under the weight of the chest compressions, and how his lips turned blue.

I tell them how the monitor wailed in the ambulance when he flatlined, and how I screamed when the paddles shocked his heart back into rhythm.

I tell them how they wheeled him away from me in a sea of blood and a hurricane of shouting voices.

And then there's nothing left to tell.

Eric never lets go of me, and soon his body is jolted by his own tears. Dmitri's eyes are bloodshot as he sinks his face into his hands. Theo sobs into Dante's shoulder, and while Dante does a better job of holding himself together, it's clear that he's as shaken as the rest of us.

The gravity we share, the brotherhood, pulls us closer until we're all in a circle, wrapped up in each other like a giant tangled ball. "Is it horgy time?" Eric whispers, and my laugh comes out as a sob as I tuck myself into his neck. Dmitri's arm wraps around my shoulder, and Theo holds my hand as Dante promises that it's going to be alright.

He promises and promises, but they're just words.

They're empty.

Meaningless, hopeful whispers that do nothing.

They do nothing.

If there was ever a moment suspended in time, this was it—waiting, praying to whatever gods will listen. Pleading and begging, negotiating my own fucking life and soul if he'd just be okay.

Just let him be okay.

What might be an eternity passes when a voice breaks through our grief. "You are here with Mr. Jennings?" Arms and legs fall away, parting like the sea as I trudge through the murky bottom that tries to swallow me.

"Yes," I rasp, trembling so hard my legs barely hold me up. He rattles off a laundry list of words that don't register to me—stab wounds, stomach and intestines, internal bleeding and pints of blood loss, resuscitation, and stable.

Stable .

"He's… he's okay?" I croak, my gaze lifting from the floor for the first time.

Tired eyes meet mine, but with an undercurrent of kindness. "He's lucky. He lost a lot of blood, but the damage to his organs was repairable. Once we got the bleeding under control, we were able to stabilize him."

Relief has my knees weak, and Eric is there to catch me as I lose it all over again. "Can I see him?" I manage to get out as I listen to Dante comfort Theo, who is crying harder with the news.

"Family only. We spoke with his emergency contact, Beth…" My eyes slam into his, another wave of agony raging through my body as I realize I'll have to fight my way to his side. "… and she explained the situation."

"The situation?"

There's a hint of amusement in the doctor's eyes as he nods. "She informed us they were divorced, and that Mr. Jennings had failed to update his records, but that his fiancé should be on site." His gaze softens as I release another choked sob. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that's you?"

"Yeah," I say, the breath whooshing out of me as I step forward. "That's me."