24. Emily

EMILY

"Did you meet any celebrities?"Mikayla asked me with a mouthful of pizza.

After the game ended and the trophies had been distributed to all the players, I'd invited the team and their parents for a little end-of-season party at the pizzeria near the field. Mr. and Mrs. Evans and a few other grandparents had joined us as well, and we took over almost half of the space. The kids seemed too tired and full to cause much mayhem inside, and I was hopeful it would stay that way until we left.

"Any celebrities?" I tried to clarify.

"When you were a soccer star, did you meet anyone? Like how celebrities go to football and basketball games?"

Jesse smiled and squeezed my leg under the table.

"I only played in college. They had a press box at some schools, but no celebrity suites like you're probably thinking. Some could have been in the stands, but I don't remember seeing any."

The sad truth was my only real celebrity encounter had been when Raina Nello had liked Sharon's post about me on social media. I'd been working with best-selling authors for so long, I really didn't see them as celebrities, even though a fan or two would always find Mary when we were out to gush over her latest book.

"Oh." Her black brows pulled together as her expression deflated.

"Sorry to disappoint you, and I wasn't a superstar."

"Yes, she was." Jesse stretched his arm across the back of my chair. "She's modest," he told Mikayla.

Maddie was on my other side, chatting with most of the kids, but something was off with her today. She'd looked like she had fun at the game, but even then, it was muted, as if something had been weighing on her since this morning.

I worried that finding her uncle and me in the bathroom or hearing us, thank God not seeing us, might have confused her a little bit. Even though we were behind a locked door, Maddie was old enough to pick up on things, and we needed to be more careful.

Since Jesse and I had made it official, we often became a little too lost in each other to worry about the world around us. This morning really had been reminiscent of when Tessa used to run to Jesse's parents when she'd find his door locked and ask why. We'd gotten into trouble a few times, and while there were no parents to answer to anymore, we needed to be more mindful while Maddie was awake and aware.

I glanced down the table at the sea of silver, the hardware courtesy of Penny's league. The trophies were for making it through the season and had nothing to do with who kicked the most goals or ran the farthest during every game.

While one could argue that too many trophies were given out for simply showing up these days, I loved watching their eyes light up when their names were called. Some of these kids had never played soccer before, and so many of them had played their hearts out.

That was the great thing about playing in a youth recreation league. It was a successful season as long as the kids had fun and managed to make it through in one piece.

I gave Jesse a look when his hand wandered up my thigh. He lifted a shoulder, a sexy smirk curling his lips. I hadn't known what I'd been in for when I'd let Penny convince me to become a coach, but I'd never expected such a life-altering few months.

Coaches didn't receive trophies, but having Jesse and Maddie in my life was the best kind of prize.

"Did you get any parting casseroles?" I whispered to Jesse.

All the single moms who had taken such a big interest in Jesse congregated at the far end of the table, watching us until they'd accidentally make eye contact and look away.

"No." He chuckled and shook his head. "Janie keeps pushing for a playdate, though."

"For Aubrey or her?" I waggled my eyebrows.

"I'm guessing Aubrey since I'm very taken." He leaned in and kissed my cheek. My neck heated when a few swoony sighs drifted across the table.

"I think Maddie's uncle makes a much better boyfriend than the ref, if you want my opinion," Mikayla said before slurping the rest of her soda out of the plastic cup.

"Thanks, Mikayla. I completely agree."

Jesse met her gaze with a big smile, and I swore I spotted a little blush staining her cheeks. I couldn't blame her.

"If your uncle is Coach Emily's boyfriend, does that make her your aunt?" Candie asked Maddie from across the table as she moved her finger back and forth between Maddie and me.

"I…I don't know," Maddie stammered and turned toward me, a big crease denting her forehead.

"Not yet," Jesse answered before I could think of what to say.

Candie had forgotten the question, but Maddie's brow still pinched in confusion.

We'd been going so fast, we hadn't taken the time to really understand what Maddie thought about a new person in her uncle's life, even if it was someone she already knew. I also had to talk to Jesse about his "not yet." I was all in and not going anywhere, but we'd only been back together, in the literal sense, for a couple of weeks. I loved them both fiercely, but she had to get used to me as her uncle's close friend before she entertained the notion of having a new relative.

It was hard to consider what Jesse and I had as new since we had so much history, but to this poor kid, too much in her life over the past year had been new, both bad and good. The three of us, and then the two of us, had a lot to discuss tonight after we went home.

Or when they went home, and I accompanied them to their house.

I guessed I was jumping ahead too.

"What a great season," Mr. Evans said as he scooped me into a hug on their way out. "With a great coach."

"Yes. Before you argue with us, you were a great coach." Mrs. Evans swept her gaze along the tables as the kids and parents started to pack up to leave. "They were happy to have you," she said, pulling me in for a hug. "And I'm so happy to have you back."

"Please don't make me more emotional," I sniffled as I gently pushed her back.

"Your mother will be happy to hear you won the last game," Mrs. Evans said, squeezing my shoulder.

Mom was recovering from surgery in a rehab facility, and I tried to visit her as much as I could. Jesse's parents went twice per week, bringing my mother a tin of the butter cookies she loved every time.

"Thank you for visiting her. I know she appreciates the company."

"We always loved her company too," Mrs. Evans said with a chuckle. "She cracks us up."

I nodded, knowing that Jesse and I were most likely what they all joked about.

Maddie hugged her grandparents goodbye, and while they didn't appear to notice anything wrong, something about the vacant look in Maddie's eyes concerned me.

"Thank you for coaching this season." Janie Cooper snuck up on me as I fixated on Maddie.

"And the pizza party," Aubrey chirped and rushed over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

After all I'd shared with Jesse today, and watching all the excited faces at the table as they admired their trophies, I'd had to pull myself back from getting choked up more than once. If these were the only kids I was meant to have, I still felt incredibly lucky, even if I would only know them for a little while. I still remembered my youth league coach, and if these kids didn't come back for another season, I hoped they'd remember me a little too.

"You are very welcome, Aubrey." I bent to hug her back. "I hope I see you next season."

"There's a division league out east. We may check that out first," Janie said, her nose turned up as she shot me what seemed like a dirty look.

I nodded as Aubrey still squeezed her arms around me.

"I think I know that league. Definitely a great place to play."

"As you saw Aubrey's talent, I think it's good if she's pushed a bit."

I held in a cringe. My mother had pushed too, but for different reasons. She hadn't been as callous about it, but I recalled with too much clarity that first taste of pressure. But I'd made friends and loved the game, and I wished the same for Aubrey.

"I don't think I have your number," Janie said, strolling up to Jesse and pulling out her phone. "For when the girls want to get together."

I fought an eye roll as her voice dropped to a much more inviting and friendly octave.

"You can text Em. I know you have her number, and she's with us most of the time. Aubrey is welcome over at our house anytime. You don't mind if she reaches out to you, right, babe?"

"I don't at all," I said, fighting the smile that wanted to break out across my face. "Text me, and we can set something up."

"Right. We should be going." Janie grabbed Aubrey's elbow and pulled her away from me. "Thanks again, Coach Emily."

Aubrey waved as her mother dragged her out of the pizzeria.

"That should take care of it, right?" Jesse snickered as Janie and Aubrey made their way out.

"I guess so, babe. Unless you get slipped any casseroles on the way out."

"Like I said, none so far. I guess after watching me drool over the coach every week, they got the hint." He pecked my lips. "Shame. One of them made a killer baked ziti."

I jabbed his arm. "I make a damn good baked ziti, but if you want to catch up with that one—" I pointed to the door "—she may still be in the parking lot."

Maddie chatted with a couple of the girls lingering by the table as we packed everything up. When she came over to us, I still spied something in her face.

"Ready to go, kiddo?" Jesse looped an arm around Maddie's shoulders. "Congratulations on your first completed soccer season."

She peered up at him with a tiny smile. "Can I play again next season?"

"If you want, absolutely." He tucked a loose hair falling out of her ponytail behind her ear.

"And Emily could be my coach?"

"I am sure Penny would let me keep you on my team," I said, hooking my purse strap over my shoulder. "And we can practice together whenever you'd like. I made your uncle practice with me all the time."

"But he can't play soccer."

"Thanks," he said, tugging on her ponytail. "Let's go home." Jesse let out a yawn. "All that time watching you run back and forth has me ready for a nap."

He took her hand and led her out the door into the parking lot. I noticed a frown pulling at her lips as she followed Jesse, her steps slow as she leaned into him.

The drive home was more of the same. Jesse and I would make a joke and try to get a laugh out of her, but all we'd managed to get was a weak smile.

"Feel like some ice cream, or are you still full on pizza?"

"I can have ice cream now?" Her brows shot up at Jesse's question. "I don't have to wait until tonight?"

Jesse's gaze caught mine for a minute as he leaned into the back seat.

"It's a special day." He stepped out of the car and opened Maddie's door. She seemed to perk up a little bit at the mention of ice cream, so maybe whatever was bothering her wasn't that bad. I followed them into the house, watching as Maddie stayed close to Jesse, her eyes lingering on him while he unlocked the front door as if she was holding back something she wanted to say.

"Have a seat, ladies," Jesse said, motioning to the kitchen table as we dropped all the soccer gear by the door. I sat next to Maddie at the table, my stomach knotting as she wrung her hands.

"Are you about to tell me something bad?"

Jesse froze as he scooped a mound of chocolate ice cream into a bowl.

"No. Why would you think that?"

Jesse left the bowl on the counter and rushed over to his niece.

"When Mom told me she was sick, I had ice cream in the afternoon too." Her eyes went to Jesse before she dropped her gaze to the table.

"Hey, look at me." He crouched in front of her. "I'm not going to tell you anything bad. I just thought it would be good to talk. Emily is here a lot now, and I know that while you love her, you must have some questions."

She shook her head. "No, I love having Emily here. I didn't think that made her my aunt, but I guess that makes sense."

"I'm your uncle Jesse's girlfriend and your friend." I scooted my chair closer to her.

"Grams said you were Uncle Jesse's girlfriend when you were in school, and you probably would be again soon."

"Of course she did," Jesse sighed, cutting a look to me.

"I wouldn't mind if you were my aunt." She shrugged at me with a tiny smile playing on her lips. "I love having you here. Reading at night is more fun with you. Uncle Jesse tries, but it's not the same."

"I'm sure it's not, and I understand why. Your mother and I used to argue about who got to spend more time with Emily, so I get it." He grinned at me and squeezed Maddie's shoulder. "Are you sure you don't have any questions? You can ask us anything."

"No. Everything is better when Emily is here. I always wondered what having two parents would be like."

Jesse winced at me, and I nodded back. As a child of a single mother with no recollection of my own father, I was sure I felt Maddie's observation deeper than Jesse did. While that was heartbreaking to hear, to Maddie, it seemed to be just a fact. I didn't believe getting used to our new dynamic was the root of her sullen mood today.

"So why the long face?" Jesse asked. "You looked like something was bothering you today."

"I guess I'm sad soccer is over," she mumbled into her hand.

I wasn't convinced, but I didn't want to press.

"It's never really over. Maybe the season is, but remember, you and I can play whenever you'd like."

She nodded and pushed away from the table.

"I'm kind of full. Can I play my game now and have ice cream later?"

"Sure." Jesse studied her face. "Come down if you change your mind."

We both watched her trudge up the stairs, not looking back at either of us.

"I don't think that's about soccer," he said, his gaze still lingering on her departure. "I try not to think about it, but she's still just a little girl who lost her mother."

"I don't think it's about soccer, but it could be. I'm sure missing her mother is harder on some days. As long as she knows she can talk to us, we just have to wait until she's ready."

"Every time I catch her like that, I bring in something else that's purple. That's how she has that beanbag thing."

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"It's not the worst coping mechanism. And she knows she can talk to you. I think she will when she's ready." I kissed his cheek. "Now that we're not going to have ice cream, I'll head upstairs and change. Hopefully I have enough clothes here before I do laundry at my apartment tomorrow."

Jesse grabbed my hand when I shifted to leave.

"You know my closet is half empty. Why don't you just keep your clothes here?"

I arched a brow. "Like, all of them?"

"Why not?" He shrugged. "And the living room needs something, right?" He ambled across the carpet, sweeping his gaze over the walls. "The bookcases in your hallway would be good right here, don't you think?"

"Really?" I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall.

"And the spare room upstairs, you could use that as an office. I work out of the basement."

I let my eyes sink shut for a moment before I padded across the carpet over to Jesse.

"I know I've been here more than at my own place lately, but it's too soon to be here permanently." I held up my hand. "Before you panic, I love you. I love Maddie. And I love being here with both of you. But it's not the time to talk about aunts or closet space or where bookcases will go yet. I love the enthusiasm." I clutched the back of his head. "But we need to dial it down a notch. Yes, we were together twenty years ago, but not really again until a couple of weeks ago."

"I count when you kissed me the night you took me home as being back together. Or the start of it."

I groaned at his raised brow.

"If you want to start the clock then, fine. But that's only weeks ago. Still too soon."

He gave me a reluctant nod.

"I guess since we wasted all that time apart, I didn't want to waste anymore."

"We aren't wasting anything. I'm here. You're here. We'll both be naked again in a few hours. Most likely."

"Most definitely." He cupped my ass and yanked me flush to his body.

"But we need to get to sleep earlier. I promised my mother I'd spend the morning with her, and I have a manuscript to work on in the afternoon. I need to be alert enough to read the words."

"So, you're not going home tonight?"

"No. I'm going home tomorrow. But I'll come back. How's that?"

He lifted a shoulder, running his bottom lip across my cheek. "As long as you always come back, I'll take it."

Maddie came back down for ice cream, but she didn't say much to either of us before she went to bed. She'd eyed Jesse as he left her room as if she wanted to tell him something, but she still insisted she was fine when he asked what was wrong.

We'd managed to fall asleep earlier but woke up to Maddie's loud sobs. We both shot out of bed, Jesse jogging ahead of me into her room.

"Maddie? What's wrong?" Jesse asked as he flicked on the light and raced to her bed.

"I had a bad dream," she said through sniffles. I lingered by the door, not wanting to intrude. Yes, I'd gotten much closer to her since becoming her coach, but Jesse was still her parent.

"What was the dream? Don't cry, baby. You can tell me."

"You were sick. Just like Mom. You're always tired like she was."

He flinched back. "I'm not always tired."

"Yes, you are. You yawn all day, just like Mom did at first. I've never seen you that tired. And she was never tired either, until one day, that's all she was." She dropped her head into her hands, hiccupping as her shoulders shook.

"Maddie, no. Come here." He drew her into his arms, his eyes wet as if he was about to sob himself. "I'm not sick, sweetheart. I was just staying up too late every night, and it made me sleepy. I'm fine." He eased her back, swiping his thumbs along her cheeks. "I know it must've been scary to see your mom get sick. It was scary for me too. But when you're afraid of something, you have to tell me."

She nodded, the tears dripping down her face slowing as she lay back down.

"Want me to stay here until you go back to sleep?"

She whispered a "Yes." Jesse shot me a sad smile as he climbed in next to her.

"I'm sorry you had a bad dream." I crept over to her side of the bed and kissed her forehead. After a soccer season of watching Maddie being a regular kid, it was easy to almost forget how much she'd gone through in her eight years.

"Can you stay too?" she asked, her red and swollen eyes fixed on mine.

"I don't think I can fit, but I'll tell you what." I pulled the beanbag next to the bed. "I'll hang out here. Hopefully one of you can scoop me out if I get stuck."

Jesse smiled when I pulled a giggle out of her.

"You can make it out, Legs. I believe in you," Jesse teased, his croaky whisper breaking my heart as much as his niece's tears.

I sank into the surprisingly comfortable softness and rested my head on the bump at the edge I guessed was supposed to be the pillow.

I found Jesse's gaze as he reached over Maddie, flexing his fingers when he stretched out his hand.

I took it, lacing our fingers together as he nodded at me and rested his chin on top of Maddie's head.

It was still too soon to be here for good, but tomorrow, it would be next to impossible to leave either of them.