Chapter 25

LIAM

Luke looks over his shoulder at me. His answer isn't what I expect. He almost whispers, "Come here," so I join him where sunlight streams in through his open window. "Look," he says next.

I do, and there's Rowan.

He's below us, beside that picnic bench. His voice drifts up, giving me a name for the kid sitting opposite Teo. "Noah, isn't it?" he asks. "How's the lamb?"

Across the picnic table, Teo stops tapping. "What lamb?"

The redheaded kid says, "Mine."

He pulls out a phone and slides it across the table just as Luke murmurs, "Only a few of our students are allowed to keep their phones during school hours." He glances my way. "The ones particularly affected by trauma who are here to face whatever is holding them back from flourishing. Part of that is being open about what happened to them. Not with me. With themselves first. Then with our counsellor. They're safe here to do that, and part of that is due to our location. That doesn't stop them from running away sometimes."

"Running away?" I shift, uncomfortably reminded of Matt asking when I was going to quit doing that shit to him.

"Yes," Luke murmurs, his voice still low. "They run away, or freeze, which keeps them locked in a holding pattern instead of thriving. Sometimes they fight, with themselves, mostly. That's when their lives are the toughest and most isolating. We want them to have their phones for those dark-night-of-the-soul moments so they know they aren't cut off. When they're ready to talk, they make real progress. Until then…"

He shakes his head, and I don't know why he's telling me this or why I'm this salty. "He needs to stay here."

"Noah?" Luke asks quietly. "Or Teo?"

I shake my head. To be honest, I'm too caught by this bird's-eye view of Rowan to answer more fully. He cradles a phone showing a photo of a chunkier version of the newborn lamb I remember. Rowan even says so. "There's no way that's the same lamb, is it?" He laughs, and I fucking love that sound. Luke must do too. A smile flickers as Rowan crows, "She's grown so much!"

More students gather. Even from up here, I can see that Noah's flush clashes with his red hair. "Because of you, sir." He addresses an audience that gets even bigger. "She wouldn't have made it without Mr. Byrn." His voice sharpens like he expects someone to rip the piss out of him for caring about livestock. "It's true."

He doesn't need to spit these bullets. This group only asks interested questions that let Noah relax enough to answer.

"Because he jumped straight over a cliff to save her. People have died right there. A countess did once. Killed stone dead, brains all smashed out. And my brother-in-law rolled his Land Rover at the exact same spot. It's bad luck. A legit death trap."

Another student is impressed. And ghoulish. "He smashed his brains out too?"

"Nah. Banged up his arm pretty bad. Hung over the cliff in his Land Rover like this for hours." Noah makes a seesawing hand motion. "He said he thought he was done for. That could have been you, Mr. Byrn, but you went after her anyway." Noah's voice turns husky. "You were wicked brave."

That's a lot of praise Rowan can't have expected.

The tips of his ears flame, and I want to kiss them. Kiss him. Tell him that he's a muppet with a death wish and hold him. Just hold him. Only I don't know how I'd let him go if I got started.

The conversation moves on, and someone asks another question. This one isn't lamb related. It can't be. Teo's anger reaches us in the window where both I and this school's headmaster hear him snap, "You calling me a liar? You really going there, blud? Get ready to take it back."

I've been trained in the difference between defence and attack. From this bird's-eye perspective, it's hard to tell which applies to Teo's outburst or to guess what provoked this man-sized student into shooting up from his seat. All I see is that he advances on Rowan and that I'm an inch away from parachuting myself between them until his boss grasps my elbow, but Teo's fist curls, and that's it.

I'm only two floors up. I've jumped from higher buildings, but never for a better reason, although I can't believe this is the same kid who lent me his headphones. Who tested the volume while asking careful questions, worried I was hurting.

I also can't believe I follow an order that Luke whispers.

"Wait."

My split-second pause gives Teo the time to swing, and the kid has got a long reach.

Rowan doesn't.

He has even fewer self-preservation instincts than Maisie Dymond, he's so fucking trusting. And, of course, Teo's fist makes contact. But thank fuck I didn't jump in. It means I get to see Rowan's reaction to Teo thrusting his drumsticks at him while sounding this fierce and certain. "Go on, sir. Show him I wasn't lying. You are the best drummer in Glynn Harber."

"He'd never hurt him." I must say that aloud. Luke agrees.

"I've never known anyone to reach Teo so quickly, apart from Charles."

That's who else closes in on the bench below us. The padre as well. Rowan isn't alone while facing what could have gone sideways in a heartbeat but only ends with a request from Teo.

"Show them, sir."

Rowan does, playing paradiddles first on a football resting on the picnic table. Its synthetic leather means this beat is muted. What he says isn't. It carries all the way up to this window.

"I'm only better than you right now because I've had years to practise."

I want to video this moment and force everyone at his old school to watch it and to hear what follows.

"I had nothing else to do every weekend and evening." He nudges that football with one of the drumsticks. It rolls, falling from the bench, to where Teo catches it in an easy foot stall. "Trust me, I'd much rather have been playing footy with friends."

I'm pretty sure that's stretching the truth. He knows about Matt and all the other mates I've staved off seeing, like Twin Two and Neck Brace. How many friends has Rowan ever mentioned?

None.

Not a single soul has stuck by him.

Teo ends up in a game of keepy-uppy with the same kid whose question set him off like a rocket, all while Rowan taps out rapid drumrolls. That draws more children to this corner of the playground. Teo juggles the ball from foot to foot while Rowan drums up a crescendo every time he kicks the ball high, and this boy's got long legs as well as that long reach, so you know he makes it fly to applause and laughter.

He dips his head, but even from up here, I can tell he's happy. That's what Rowan can't hide, either. It's right there in him going all out, thundering away on a drum kit improvised from a bench at first until someone shoves a metal water bottle his way. Another student adds a lunch box, and that's all he needs to show off what he must usually keep on the down low.

"Wow," Luke breathes softly, like he's never seen this skill level, this percussive magic that ends with a finale including a bucket Charles brings over that Rowan flips upside down one-handed while still making music, and I have no idea how he can do that and catch the stick he tossed up.

Teo holds up his phone, capturing that final flourish, I assume, and a flying drumstick move that Rowan repeats only to catch it again without missing a beat or even looking.

Teo whoops, a noise other students join in with, and Rowan?

He looks like he's been struck by lightning, and who gives a fuck that I should avoid loud noises or that tinnitus means we shouldn't be this well suited? I'm nowhere near ready to stop listening to him.

Another request drifts up. "Can I show this to my friend, sir?"

Rowan must agree—Teo still has his head bent over his phone when I peer out to see Rowan slipping away from the attention. He avoids this spotlight, already heading off across the playground so he doesn't get to hear Teo's next response to a question. His reply is the opposite of his earlier aggressive, and who knows if that's down to applause for his football tricks or Rowan's drumming.

"Mr. Byrn? Yeah, he's decent." Teo's so, so hopeful. "Wish he was staying."

Me too.

I'm better with hammers and chisels than with hearts and flowers. Better still with demolitions, but I haven't forgotten that rebuilds were part of my old life, and that's all I have left to bargain with so that Rowan gets to stay where he's valued.

"Keep Row right here." I face a man who has to see how much I want that for him. "Keep him, and I'll rebuild that bridge for you."