Chapter 4 Austin Graham

Winter Wonderland

Four Weeks Until Christmas

I feel pulled in ten different directions, and now that the season of giving is upon us, I feel even less enthusiastic than usual.

I just want to be alone, which is a difficult feat given my profession. I can isolate myself with my headphones in the locker room or the weight room to give off the vibe that I don’t want to be bothered, but that’s only going to cause further division between my teammates and me.

It’s the stupid event I have to attend tonight that’s causing me to feel this way. It’s a charity Christmas party that I knew was coming but didn’t have on my calendar, and I tried to get out of it, but our offensive coordinator says that if we can build bonds outside of the locker room, our chemistry on the field will be more electric.

It sounds like a load of hot shit to me, but I do what my coaches tell me to do, and since the entire coaching staff and most of the offense will be here, I’m sort of stuck.

Sometimes it feels like Coach Dixon decided to take me on as his pet project this season. Last season, he left me alone, but this season, he’s up in my face all day, every day.

Which is why I was basically forced to cancel my night with Mia to attend this shindig that I don’t want to be at.

At least I get to see Mia on Friday…and Kelly. Knowing that I’m going to see the two of them is my motivation. They always brighten everything around me when we’re together, though Kelly seems to be pulling further and further away from me lately.

All things that contribute to my sour mood, I guess.

And as I slip into the suit I reserve for these events and attempt to tie the tie that no father ever taught me how to do my goddamn self, I find that sour mood worsening.

I blow out a breath as I glance at myself in the mirror. I throw a little extra gel in my hair before I head out the door.

I should’ve taken an Uber to this event instead of driving myself. At least then I could’ve had a few drinks to try to loosen up.

Instead, I clench my jaw as I pull up to the valet station. I get out of the car and hear the joyous Christmas music pumping from inside, and I find myself halting on the sidewalk outside of the event.

Dean Martin is singing about a “Winter Wonderland,” but we’re out here in the desert.

It’s honestly one of the things I love about living in Vegas. No snow. No stupid white Christmas. No blizzards to battle, no ice to chip off my windshield, no slush in the streets.

So why even bother playing the music? Even as I have the thought, the song ends and “Let It Snow” begins.

I can’t take it.

I’m about to turn around to get back into my car and call it a night when Coach Dixon gets out of the car behind me, followed by none other than Asher Nash.

Fuck, this is going to be a long night.

Asher has been putting in the work to bond with everyone in the locker room—except for me. There’s a little bit of bad blood between us because of the history between his family and me. It feels like they’re all out to get me, if I’m being honest.

And now he’s engaged to Coach Dixon’s daughter. It feels very much like these two are teaming up against me, even though that’s likely not the case. They have no reason to team up against me.

Still, feeling like Dixon’s pet project leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I get that he is a former tight end himself, so the position is important to him. I understand that he wants his teammates to bond, but I’ve bonded with everyone I’m interested in bonding with at this point.

Asher nods at me, and I give him the polite head nod of greeting back. I greet Coach Dixon, too, and then I turn to head inside before either of them can scoop me up into a conversation filled with mindless small talk—my least favorite of all kinds of talk, to be honest.

When I walk in, fake snow is coming out of machines perched all over the room, and it is a fucking winter wonderland with blankets of white polyester and cotton everywhere to mimic piles of snow.

Fuck it. I can take an Uber home and get my car tomorrow.

I beeline for the bar first.

Asher comes to a stop beside me at the bar. “Great, like I don’t hear this type of music all day every day at home.”

I think about last Tuesday when I went to pick up Mia, and Kelly was singing along with some channel playing Christmas songs. I think about replying with something about that, but before I get the chance, the bartender hands over my beer.

“You have a kid, right?” Asher says as I start to walk away.

I glance over at him and nod.

“A girl?”

I nod again. “Why?”

“My fiancée says Pampers are the best, but I like Huggies. Just curious what another dad thinks.”

“We’re a Kirkland household. There’s nothing Kelly loves more than a trip to Costco...except maybe a trip to the craft store.” I tilt my head a little. “Can I just say that never in a million years did I think I’d be bonding with Asher Nash over diapers?”

He laughs. “Feeling’s mutual, man.” It sort of feels like a breakthrough for us. He seems to be the kind of guy who sort of keeps to himself with his head down.

The same can’t really be said for me. I’ve tried things from every angle—sucking up to coaches, playing my hardest, befriending people, becoming enemies with others. It just feels like no matter what I do, I can’t win—especially not when the head coach is related to the tight end and the OC is his future father-in-law. That sort of fucks my chances from the word go .

Still, making this guy my enemy from the moment he walked in hasn’t worked out all that well for me.

For the first time, I see the benefits of a potential friendship with Asher.