Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

H er gaze roved over the lights and landed on the fire as she nestled into his arms. “I used to like the flames. Remember how we would sit out here long after I finished helping Gran and talk for hours while we watched the flames.”

“Mmm-hmm. Why do you think I brought you out here?” he settled them on a bench, with her spread over his lap.

She smiled. Her mind lagged behind, heavy with other details such as Aspen and her alone under all the stars and twinkle lights to realize his ulterior motive. “The last time I was this close to an open flame I was covered in soot and rained on and lost everything.” Maybe a sane woman would read that as a sign she needed a fireman in her life. Life’s little ironies could really get the best of a person.

He took her hand and locked their fingers. “I’m sorry, Ivy Sunday. When did this happen?”

“You don’t know?” That didn’t seem likely knowing her gran. Maybe she’d been too busy pulling together her disappearing act to tell anyone past her besties. “This past November. We had this big Thanksgiving dinner planned. I would cook and he would gather his parents from the airport.

“When the day came, I prepared an elegant dinner or tried to anyway. The whole day is a blur really. In the end, he dumped me by text, that part you know, and as a topping on the shittiest day my house burned down too. Faulty wiring.” She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. “Guess fate really wanted to get my attention.

She looked out over the fire as she recounted the embarrassing story for Aspen. “Our families were calling nonstop asking where he was. That had my nerves on edge. The turkey needed my attention, the table needed setting. Everything he was supposed to help with fell on me. He was running late again so I was a little overwhelmed with handling everything on my own. I was so busy in the kitchen I never realized the fire even started until it was too late. The fire department said it was a faulty plug with the Christmas lights I’d strung along the banister coupled with the old polyester curtains left over from the previous owner I’d never had the chance to change out. The house didn't stand a chance. And apparently, my house wasn’t the only thing going up in smoke that night. As it started to rain and while I huddled in a blanket watching my home be eaten alive by fire I received Lewis’s lovely ‘It’s over, it’s not you, it’s me’ text. You already know the rest.”

“Your gran didn’t tell me about the fire. Only that Lewis was out of the picture. Had I known I wouldn’t have been so straightforward with you given how much you’ve lost.” He caressed her hair. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.”

Aspen caressed his hands across the small of her back. “Lewis. Just the name makes him sound like a real asshole.”

“Aspen!” She coolly reprimanded him but didn’t deny agreeing and appreciated the humorous touch he added to the otherwise dreary moment.

He shrugged in his defense, which was a weak one, but again she couldn’t argue. “The damn truth. His loss. He let the most beautiful woman on the fucking planet slip through his hands. When he gets tired of chasing cheap pussy after his money he’ll think back on you. Men like him don’t deserve real happiness and sure the hell doesn't deserve a woman like you. Shit gets shit.”

She took comfort from his warmth and leaned a little closer in his arms. “You’ve been talking with my brother, Jon, haven’t you?”

“No, but I already know he agrees and said as much.”

She smiled and nodded. “In not so few words, either.” She fished her phone out of her back pocket and pulled up the message. “I haven’t shown this to anyone before now.” She passed it over to Aspen and held her breath. Why she didn’t know but what he thought of the last words she received from her ex meant something to her. Validation that she was right to not seek more answers. Demand an apology for him cheating on her.

“Every day for the past two months I've read and reread this message. Every. Single. Morning. What’s wrong with me, Aspen?” When she said it aloud like that, she sounded pathetic even to her own ears.

“Not a damn thing. From what I see you’re trying to make sense of someone you trusted hurting you.”

“Like I did you,” she whispered softly.

“Thanks for not calling me foolish and being so nice and not judging.”

“Is all this why you’re taking the job in New York?” Always observant. His question didn’t surprise her but her answer did.

“I didn’t think so at first but after being back here, I’m questioning everything that’s happened to me. I’ve spent the last two months in some form of panic or stage of exhaustion dealing with the insurance, lining up another job to pay for what the insurance doesn’t cover. Trying to figure out where I’m going from here. I had to drop two jobs because I couldn’t handle everything all at once so my reputation is on the line. I’ve worked so hard to build it and right now this job is the one that will restore it.”

Just thinking about what lay ahead gave her such mixed feelings it was a wonder she slept at all.

Aspen nodded in understanding. “When do you leave?” The detour off Lewis gave her a slight relief.

“In two days.” The peace of nightfall finally settled around them and in the distance from beneath the eaves of the gazebo she could see flickers of stars through the slow drift of snow.

“That’s not a lot of time.”

There was a double meaning to that statement. She knew it now like she knew it when Mrs. Mason had said the same exact thing yesterday.

She narrowed her eyes on him. “What are you planning, Aspen Kennedy.?”

“I want to know how much time I am working with, Ivy Sunday. To convince you to stay.” His voice did that funny thing again where it pitched low and grabbed onto her senses, not letting go. It made her shudder and want to know the answers to those pesky what-if questions that bothered her more and more lately.

“You don’t hold your punches, do you? It will take more than sex to keep me here. Best you know that.”

He gripped her hips and moved her over him. Despite the cold, warmth bloomed over her. Damn he made her so wet, so...vulnerable.

“Now that you’re here, you can’t blame me for wanting to do everything I can to convince you Dixen is your home. I’m your home.”

But why? “I already told you, Aspen. Dixen is nice, and I did miss seeing you but...”

His piercing eyes saw right through her. “But you’re leaving. Yeah, I heard. Job in New York. Yep. Heard that too. But there’s one thing you failed to hear.”

What did that mean? “Aspen. There’s nothing here for me. I don’t think I’ve failed to hear anything.”

An odd look came over him. One of determination she hadn’t seen in a very long time. Not since that day. The day she walked away from him. Her plans had been so different back then.

“There’s still a little time. Give me a chance. Let me show you Dixen again. Remind you why you love this place.”

She smiled. “I don’t think there’s anything to re-see, Aspen.”

“Trust me. There’s is.” Something about his devilish smile said she was in for a wild ride.

Aspen looked like he had a dirty idea in mind but before she could ask, he took her hands in his and stood. “It’s getting colder. Ready to go back inside?”

What did she just do? “Umm…yeah.” She swallowed, a little nervous now. “Thank you for doing this again. My nerves were a little frayed, you know."

“Understandable, but you’re not alone. Come on, baby, let’s get you inside and warmed up. Change is never easy, I should know.”

“Are you sure you’re the same fun-loving, wild boy I grew up with?” She gave him a side-eye.

He smiled. “Indeed, just a little wiser. When Jace died it took me almost six months to put the suit back on and even then it was a rocky road back. So rocky, in fact, I had to make a tough call. Continue on, swallow the pain or change. I knew I could end up just like him and that would have hurt my parents and my brothers and sister.” Aspen looked out into the distance as if seeing the horror of losing his brother all over again. The past ghosted in the depth of his eyes and she squeezed her hand over his in support.

“I hear you.”

“Change isn’t always the easiest of decisions and it sure the hell doesn’t show itself in flashing lights and cue cards.” He shrugged and looked around. “Or, maybe it does.”

She narrowed her eyes and nailed him with a pointed stare. “Like stolen moments in my bedroom?” Her voice took on a high pitch and Aspen laughed softly.

“Indeed.”

An instant sparkle glittered in his eyes and she hefted a heavy sigh of relief at steering the conversation back to happier ground.

“Just following the rules of the season.”

Aspen put his arms around her and pulled her into a long, hot kiss. He was a tough, sensitive and serious guy who didn’t pull any punches. She appreciated his sincerity and the way he devoured her mouth with so much passion she felt it in her toes.

He leaned back on his heels and pointed to the mistletoe above as a sly all-too-knowing smile chased away the somber mood that had hijacked their conversation.

Ivy let out a puffy breath of surprise. “Dirty tricks. I bet Mrs. Murphy hung that up there,” she said playfully and pushed at Aspen. “Or was that you?”

He sealed his lips with an imaginary key and laughed as if he knew a secret.

Winter in Dixen was only for the hardy. Darkness had already settled in and the fire dwindled. “I hear the kids clapping over something and I promised a tree.”

“You did. I would love to know what trick you have up your sleeve short of stomping off into the woods with an ax, but I think I’ll just leave this one Christmas miracle your own little secret.”

“If it came down to it, I’d go all Paul Bunyan but there’s no real secret. Joe always puts one or two away for me for the orphanage every year up at the farm.”

“Oh duh, how could I have… Gah. I feel so stupid. Of course. The farm.” She smacked a hand to her forehead.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s been a couple of hard days for you. I have one in the back of the truck for delivery to the orphanage tomorrow morning. I’ll just swing by and get another one before I head out that way.” He smiled.

She blew out a breath and contemplated falling to his feet and kissing his boots but promptly shooed that idea away. Wouldn’t want the man’s ego to explode.

“Are you sure?” She felt guilty simply thinking about taking the tree, but if he had another that would solve at least one of her problems.

“Of course.”

“I’ll pay you back.”

“That I am certain of. Already thinking of the ways. So far I’ve tallied up about four points in my favor.” He looped an arm around her waist and helped her off the gazebo stairs with a swoop. Fresh snow crunched beneath their boots and the only response she had to his calculations wouldn’t save her from what he predicted so she kept her lips sealed and accepted the quiet that settled over them.

What was it about his smile, the way he was always there to help and offer comfort that spoke to her? Whatever it was proved dangerous to her heart and she needed to be careful. Very careful. Where was the yellow caution tape when a girl needed it most?

Just as a new wave of snow descended on her little town, they made the quick walk back to the house and joined the group of guests and a couple of new arrivals.

“Ms. Lucille!” Ivy kicked off her snow-caked boots she had borrowed from the back door and strode across the expanse of the kitchen and living room past a group of kids that couldn’t be the same kids that she knew from this afternoon, the soft padding of her socks silent against the hardwood. Who were these kids? So quiet and attentive.

“I see you still have the touch.”

Ms. Lucille sat nearest to the fire in a plush rocker, with one of her favorite reads cracked open.

Ivy bent down and kissed the aging woman’s soft cheek. “It’s good to see you. Everything all right?” Charlie spoke up for both of them with a loud bark and offered a paw while he was at it, Max beside him snoozing with the Howards’ pup curled into his side. Instant friends and without a care in the world. Lucky dogs.

Aspen leaned down and took Max’s paw as he rewarded the loyal friend with a good ear scratch.

“Charlie was getting a little lonely and needed some time away from the pups. I promised him a visit with Max. Plus, your gran said you would need this.”

“Ahha!” Her whoop came out louder than she intended. Oops. But she didn’t care at the moment. “So she is getting my messages. I should have suspected.”

“She left a message on Facebook, dear. One for you too according to her. She said you couldn’t go to the festivities in your birthday suit, losing your luggage and all so she asked if I could drop off the sweater no one wanted at our last knitting sale.”

She made a quick mental note to check her messages when she found a quiet moment.

Ivy joined the group of guests and took a spare place on the stone hearth that hugged the fireplace and placed a gentle hand on her teacher’s arm. “I’m glad you came.”

In a quick cringe Ivy feared the answer to what she needed to ask next. “Tell me true, just how bad is the sweater?”

Ms. Lucille passed over a medium-sized sweater without saying a word. She didn’t need to.

All her teenage fears of looking the dorkiest swamped her all at once. “Oh God, no.” If the coloring wasn’t bad enough they added that , too? A wave of laughter broke out from the kids and she quickly tucked it under her arm.

Snow white highlighted a naked Santa with a long stocking covering an obvious erection.

Holy heavens she could not wear this in public.

“You really shouldn’t have. I couldn’t possibly.” She leaned closer. “Is there something I did? Is Gran mad at me for something?”

“We want more pie and story!” All the kids piped up when they took too long to get back to story time.

Ms. Lucille didn’t offer her an answer, only winked and continued reading The Night Before Christmas to a very happy group of kids as Aspen passed around another round of pumpkin pie.

She was tempted to throw the thing in the fire or let Max carry it off and bury it with the rest of his toy collection. The only thing that stopped her was the witnesses.

Ivy zigzagged her way through the crowd, tossing the offensive sweater over the back of a couch and joined Aspen in refilling mugs with hot cocoa and coffee to the adults.

Kade had come through for her as Aspen had promised and loaded the kitchen up with groceries while they’d been outside.

She walked up to him and looped her arms around his shoulders.

“Hey, sweetheart. What’s that for?”

“You know what. You saved my bacon. Twice now. You and Aspen deserve a medal for outstanding hero work.”

“Nah. Just helping a friend.” Kade hugged her close and a swift kick of nostalgia for her brothers and sisters made tears rush at her out of nowhere.

“Hey now. None of that or you’ll make me cry and then the kids will laugh at me. I gotta keep my big tough firefighter cool about me.”

She slapped Kade’s chest and couldn’t help the laugh he pulled from her. “You always did know how to make a girl laugh.”

“One of my higher qualities, I’ve been told.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she countered just like she did with Jon when he got a little too cocky for his own good.

As the sound of her former teacher’s voice filled the living room, Ivy couldn’t help but feel the magic of the season. The memories of her reading it to the class before everyone went on break. They’d been older teenagers yet Ms. Lucille made them all feel like kids again. Like she did now.

Snow fell in a heavy curtain beyond the window. Inside, her attention roved over the small intimate crowd until her gaze found warm brown eyes staring back at her with the same curiosity she felt bubbling inside. She assumed anyway with how his expression melded into one of...interest? Friendship and dare she say, love?

Aspen sat among the kids, plate in one hand and a very mesmerized two-year-old squished to his side, Max beside her eyeballing her pie. If she wasn’t careful she’d be sharing the delicious treat with a very clever trickster.

Ms. Lucille closed the covers to a round of applause.

“You know, Ms. Lucille, that story gets better each year but wouldn't you say something is missing?” Aspen weaved a path through the kids and stopped at the front door. “Something about this big.” He held his hand to an inch or so below his chin. “Or, it might be about this big.” He raised his hand to about an inch above his head. “What could it be?”

A chorus of mixed answers erupted from the bouncing kids and even the teenagers jumped in with a couple of their own. All the giddy happiness made Ivy laugh until her sides began to ache.

She blew out a wavering breath and caught herself absentmindedly rubbing the bareness of her ring finger. So many changes in such a short amount of time. Her mind didn’t know what to analyze. Aspen, Lewis, her gran leaving, and her new job. One thing was for sure. Her time here was limited and she wanted to enjoy the most of it while she could and before she got caught up in work.

She glanced up to find Aspen looking at her, his gaze intense for a brief second before he mouthed, watch this . And smiled.

“I was just telling Ivy Sunday that I talked to Santa on the way over and asked if he had a tree to spare. He said he'd look and if he did he would drop one off for me. Why don’t you guys go check the back of the truck and let us know.”

The low-hanging light caught the multi hues of brown in his hair as his head fell back with laughter as all the kids and Max made a beeline for the front door.

She couldn’t believe what she saw. A big hunk of a firefighter, a man that towered over almost everyone in the place and he had the softest heart under all that muscle and gruff. He found just as much happiness from making kids happy as she did. A little devil on her shoulder popped up and whispered in her ear that Lewis would have preferred a solo vacation in the Alps where kids couldn’t interrupt. She’d gotten out just in time. Looking at it in the new shade of light, her Ivy Effect had been in retro then, too. Once perceived as a good thing was unmasked as something that could—and would—have ended in disaster. Her Ivy Effect had protected her. The breakup hadn’t been a huge mistake after all. Her guardian angels probably had their hands full with her and needed a damn drink.

As the revelation came over her a sudden weight and pain Lewis had caused evaporated.

The oldest of the teenagers flung open the front door and held it wide while the shorter ones ran under his outstretched arm.

She looked to Aspen, a silly grin probably plastered on her face and he crossed the room to her, taking her hand in his.

“Here comes the fun part.”

Within thirty seconds they all returned with a large tree. As the kids worked together with their parents to set it up, she passed over all the boxes of baubles, garland and extra lights.

She sat back and watched as everyone decorated the tree. Ms. Lucille passed the angle to Aspen and he slipped it in place. Laughter filled the living room.

She forgot how much this place brought out the Christmas spirit. The surroundings, the homey feeling, even the snow beyond the windows. It all went hand in hand to make the heart and soul feel comforted. Aside from the fact that she grew up here, spent all the time she could after homework and always tagged along with her parents when they stopped in for coffee, this place made a person feel welcomed.

She watched as everyone enjoyed the B&B despite all the flaws of the day—a place that healed hearts. Hers for sure.