Chapter 5

chapter

five

There were always dogs barking at Redwood Coast Rescue.

The sharp noise drilled straight into Rylan’s skull as he parked in the lot, each bark magnified by the hangover pounding relentlessly at his temples. The sour taste of bourbon still clung to the back of his throat, and he swallowed hard against the nausea threatening to rise.

Focus, Rylan. They can’t know you spent the night trying to drown in a bottle.

Jesus. This was not how he’d planned to start his day. He’d planned to sleep off the worst of the hangover before dragging his sorry ass out of bed and coming into work.

But those plans had been shot to hell the minute Izzy showed up on his doorstep.

Izzy. Fuck. Even after three months of trying to put that woman out of his mind, she still had a way of turning his life upside down with one visit. She’d looked at him with those dark, almond-shaped eyes, a mix of guilt and determination swirling in their depths, and he hadn’t stood a chance. Even disheveled and desperate, Isabella Delgado was a sight that could steal a man’s breath.

“I need your help.”

Four little words, and he was right back in her orbit, pulled by a force he couldn’t seem to resist no matter how hard he tried.

The bright morning sunlight wasn’t doing him any favors, and he kept his sunglasses firmly in place as he stepped out of the truck and scanned the compound. The familiar activity helped ground him, though the sounds and smells—pine and earth, underscored by the occasional whiff of wet dog—seemed sharper, harsher than usual. Zak was working with Ranger in the agility yard, Anna sat on the porch steps with her tablet, and Donovan stood in the yard with Hudson balanced in one arm as Spirit bounded happily across the grass.

He could do this.

He had to do this.

Rylan adjusted his University of Kentucky ball cap lower on his head and squared his shoulders. The last thing he needed was anyone noticing how bad he looked. He headed toward the main building, hoping to slip in unnoticed. He needed a few more minutes to pull himself together before facing the team.

“Rylan!” Zak called.

Fuck. Of all the people he didn’t want to face right now, Zak was number one on the list. The man had the uncanny ability to see right through bullshit, and Rylan wasn’t sure he could handle that level of scrutiny in his current state. But there was no avoiding it now.

He turned slowly, plastering what he hoped was a casual smile on his face as Zak jogged over, Ranger trotting obediently at his side.

“Hey, man,” Zak said, his sharp gaze already assessing. “You’re here late. Jesus, you look like hell. Rough night?”

“Just, uh, didn’t sleep much.”

“Yeah, I think we all had a bad one last night.” His gaze shifted to where Donovan stood at the edge of the agility yard, bouncing Hudson gently in between ball throws to Spirit. “Listen, Donovan’s been looking for you. Seems pretty shaken up today.”

Rylan followed his gaze. Even from a distance, he could see the tension in the other man’s shoulders. Damn it. He’d been so focused on his own shit he’d forgotten about the impact Aiden Ellison’s death would have on Donovan. With a young son of his own, it had to cut especially deep. “I’ll talk to him.”

“He needs it.” Zak’s shrewd gaze turned back to him and gave him a once-over. “Sure you’re okay with doing it right now?”

Rylan bristled slightly at the question, even though he knew Zak’s concern was justified. “I’m fine. Just need some coffee, and I’ll be raring to go.”

Zak didn’t look entirely convinced. “You’ve been pushing hard lately. Maybe take it easy for a day or two before you run yourself into the ground.”

“Nah, I’ll be all right. Donovan needs me more right now than I need a break.” He started toward the agility yard but stopped short. Fuck. He still had to talk to Zak about helping Izzy and the missing kids. He turned back. “Hey, is the team all here?”

“I can get them here. Why?”

“There’s a situation.” He glanced over at Donovan again. “Just give me a few minutes with him first.”

Zak’s brow furrowed, but he didn’t press further. “Yeah, all right. We’ll be in the command center when you’re ready.” He walked off toward the main building, Ranger close at his heels.

Taking a deep breath, Rylan crossed the yard. Donovan’s attention was fixed on Hudson as the baby gurgled happily in his arms. Spirit paused in her play, her ears perked, and her head cocked as she watched Rylan approach.

“Hey,” he greeted softly, not wanting to startle them.

Donovan’s head snapped up, his eyes wide and haunted. For a moment, he looked like a cornered animal, ready to bolt at any sudden movement. That wasn’t like big, bad Donovan Scott at all. But then his shoulders sagged, and he let out a quiet breath. “Rylan. Hey.”

Rylan stopped a few feet away, giving him space. “You okay, man? Zak said you were looking for me.”

Donovan hesitated and shifted Hudson higher on his hip, running an unsteady hand over the boy’s downy black hair. “I can’t stop thinking about that poor kid. Aiden.”

“Yeah, he was on my mind all night, too.”

Which is why I tried my damndest to give myself alcohol poisoning.

He winced inwardly and hoped his thoughts weren’t broadcasted on his face for everyone to see. “It was a hard one for all of us.”

The baby started to fuss, reaching chubby hands out toward Rylan. Donovan hesitated a moment before handing Hudson over, allowing Rylan to settle the baby against his chest. Hudson immediately quieted, tiny fingers latching onto Rylan’s shirt.

“You’re good with him,” Donovan said with a soft smile as he traced a finger down his son’s cheek.

“I’ve got a whole mess of cousins back home in Kentucky, and most of ’em have a football team’s worth of kids. You spend enough holidays wrangling toddlers, you pick up a thing or two.”

“You ever want any of your own?”

Rylan’s gut clenched at the question, and he looked down at Hudson’s round face, the baby’s blue eyes so trusting as he gazed up.

Kids of his own?

The idea was so far beyond anything he’d let himself consider it might as well be in another galaxy. “Nah, that’s not really in the cards for me. Gotta have someone willing to procreate with you first.”

Donovan snorted. “Yeah, well, sometimes they show up whether you planned for them or not.”

“The someone willing to procreate or the kids?”

“Both.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked toward his dog. “Sasha came into my life when I wasn’t looking for anyone, but I knew she was it for me from the moment I saw her. Then, with Hudson, we weren’t trying for a baby. When she told me she was pregnant, I was fucking terrified. I mean, how could I be responsible for another human being when half the time I can barely take care of myself? I thought I got over that. I thought I had a handle on it, but that kid’s death yesterday brought it all back. The fear, the doubt. I look at Hudson, and I wonder how the hell I’m supposed to keep him safe in a world like this. Especially when my brain keeps betraying me.”

Yeah, this was going to be a longer conversation than a quick you got this.

“Let’s take this inside,” Rylan said gently, handing Hudson back. “We’ll talk in my office.”