Chapter 6

chapter

six

The restof the evening was a blur. The cake cutting, the toasts, the laughs and smiles— Ellie participated in all of it, but her thoughts were elsewhere. She kept stealing glances at Cal, who was mingling and laughing with guests, always so charming.

It was infuriating.

And exhausting.

By the time the boisterous crowd sent the newlyweds off on their honeymoon, she was completely drained and just a bit tipsy from too much champagne. Maybe she shouldn't have grabbed a glass every time Cal got close.

As soon as her duty as maid of honor ended, she escaped onto a terrace below the hotel overlooking the ocean and drew in several deep breaths of the cool air. She was finally alone, with only the rolling waves below to keep her company…

Or so she thought until a warm voice broke the silence. "It's peaceful here, isn't it?"

She whirled around. Cal was standing there with his hands in the pockets of his trousers. He looked so handsome and a little bit dangerous, like a rogue duke from one of the historical romance novels she so loved.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," he said, offering an apologetic smile that made her heart flutter.

God, she wished she could harden her heart against this man. "Why did you follow me?"

If he was embarrassed at being caught, he didn't show it. "I wanted to make sure you got home safely."

"I'm not going home." She motioned vaguely back toward the winery's on-site hotel. "I have a room here."

Ugh, had that sounded like an invitation? Her face burned, and she turned back toward the ocean, letting the salted breeze cool the embarrassment from her skin.

His silence filled the air, a gentle weight that stirred the edges of her awareness. She didn't need to look at him to know his gaze was on her.

"Ellie…" There was an emotion she couldn't quite place in his voice. Or maybe didn't want to place.

She turned back to him. "Yes?"

There was a moment's pause before he spoke again, his words nearly carried by the wind. "I did hear what you said earlier. About wanting to let me in."

Dammit. Of course he'd heard her.

"I didn't mean anything by it," she said, attempting to keep her face neutral. "It was… was just the champagne talking."

Cal didn't look convinced. His brows furrowed, and his gaze held a deep intensity that made her swallow hard. He stepped forward, closing the distance between them until his heat seeped into her skin. The scent of him, something crisp like autumn leaves and balsam wood, invaded her senses.

"I don't believe you," he said softly.

Then he did something she never expected. He reached out and brushed a single finger down her cheek, tracing the line of her jawbone with a sweetness that made all of her nerve endings tingle to life. Her lips parted, and her eyes drifted closed as his fingers slid around the back of her neck.

He drew her closer.

"I don't want you to be afraid of me, Ellie. I'm not here to hurt you. That's the last thing I want to do."

His thumb brushed her lower lip, and she released a shuddering breath. It was as if the world had stopped spinning, time pausing in this moment between them. A terrifying thrill coursed through her, igniting every nerve, every cell of her body, with a dangerous need.

"I know," she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him. "I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of how much I want…" She let the sentence trail off. It hung between them, heavy with unspoken truth.

She didn't know who moved first. Maybe they moved at the same time. Their lips met in a ferocious, long-denied kiss. Their bodies collided as if they couldn't get close enough to each other. The night air was forgotten, the crashing waves below a distant hum. All that mattered was his touch and his taste and the heat that had been searing between them for far too long. His hands slid down her waist and grasped her hips, pulling her even closer. She moaned into the kiss, her body molding against his like she'd never left.

His fingers tangled in her hair, dislodging curls from her updo as he tilted her head back to deepen the kiss. Each sensation seemed magnified— his tongue sliding against hers, his breath mingling with her own. He tasted of champagne and sweet things she couldn't name.

Then his hands crept lower, sliding down the curve of her hips, his grip firm and possessive. Her heart pounded a rhythm that echoed with each touch, her entire being consumed by this man who had been so tirelessly patient.

"Cal," she gasped, breaking away from him to catch her breath. Her glasses had fogged up in the heat of their embrace, and she removed them to wipe them clean on the hem of her dress. Through blurry vision, she watched him watching her and could feel his smile more than see it.

"Ellie," he murmured back, his voice hoarse with desire. His gaze never left hers as he reached out and gently took her glasses from her hand. He carefully finished cleaning the lenses with the pocket square from his suit, then slid the glasses back on her, his fingers lingering at her temples. His touch sent an electric current through her, igniting a fire that was far too hot to extinguish now.

Blinking up at him to adjust her focus, she was met with a soft gaze full of hope and desire.

"Thank you," she said.

"Always." He dipped to capture her lips once more, and she didn't protest as his hands went back to exploring her body, roaming over the smooth silk of her dress and the soft curves beneath.

Ellie responded eagerly, reaching up to bury her fingers in his hair. She tugged him even closer, their bodies flush against each other.

"I've wanted you for so long," he confessed when they finally came up for air again. "Every time I see you, every time I'm near you... it's becoming harder for me to breathe without touching you, without knowing how your skin feels against mine."

She should pull away and put an end to this now. But she had wanted him for so long that she had forgotten what it felt like not to want him. She felt fuzzy from the champagne and needy from denying herself, and all she could do was cling to him tighter, her lips seeking his.

"Then touch me," she said against his mouth, her hands trailing down his chest. She felt his intake of breath as her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. "Cal... I need you to touch me."

His only response was a low growl in his throat as he slipped off his jacket and tossed it onto one of the nearby chairs. He eagerly helped her unbutton his shirt, pulling it free from his pants and tossing it away carelessly.

Now their bodies were separated by a thin veil of silk and cotton.

She could still put a stop to this. She could still pull away.

She didn't.

She ran her fingers across his chest. Taut muscles rippled beneath her touch. She was always surprised at how muscular he was under those rumpled suits.

Cal's hand brushed the side of her face, and she looked at him. His brown eyes held a look she hadn't seen before— a promise of something more than just physical attraction. He leaned down, pressing his lips to hers with an intensity that took her breath away. "We should go up to your room."

"No." She didn't want to give herself time to second-guess this.

"No?" A ripple of surprise laced his question, and his lips quirked in that adorably appealing way.

Ellie shook her head, all her previous hesitations and insecurities slowly fading away. "No." Her fingers tightened around the fabric of his trousers, pulling him closer to her. "I want you here... now... tonight."

And maybe once she had him, she could stop obsessing about him and move on with her life.

Not gonna happen, a little voice of reason whispered at the back of her mind. You told yourself that last time. And the time before that. And the one before that.

She told the voice to shut up. She didn't want reason now. She was tired and lonely and wanted Cal.

"Ellie." Her name left him like a breathed prayer.

Oh, no. He wasn't going to be all chivalrous and turn her down, was he? "Please, Cal."

One hand curled around her waist, and he decisively backed her against the far wall of the terrace under a waterfall of vines. The small, relieved gasp that escaped her lips was swallowed by his mouth descending on hers in a kiss that was all heat and fire and desperate need. The world spun with dizzying speed as he devoured her with a possessiveness that left no room for doubt.

Thank God.

He unzipped her dress, his fingers steady and unhurried despite the rapid rise and fall of his chest. The silk fabric pooled at her feet, leaving her bare to him. His gaze devoured her, a soft sound of appreciation leaving his throat.

"You are utterly breathtaking, Ellie," he murmured, brushing his thumb over the hardened peak of her nipple, sending a jolt of desire coursing through her.

That was the thing about Cal that made it so hard to resist him—he didn't just touch her, he worshipped her. His fingers traced over every inch of her like he was memorizing the feel of her under his hands. His mouth left a trail of heated kisses down her neck, across her collarbone, and down to the swell of her breasts. His tongue flicked over her nipple, and she gasped, tightening her hands in his hair, holding him to her. He kissed his way across to her other breast, mirroring his actions until she was writhing beneath him.

"Cal," she whimpered, tugging at his hair. She needed him closer, needed all of him.

His lips moved lower, trailing kisses down her stomach. Her breath hitched as he carefully lifted one of her legs over his shoulder, pressing a kiss to the inside of her thigh.

Oh, God, this was a bad idea.

Sleeping with him wouldn't get him out of her system. It would only make her want him more.

And, still, she didn't care.

A soft chuckle rumbled from his chest as she pressed her hips toward him.

"Patience." His breath was warm against the sensitive skin of her inner thigh.

She didn't want patience. She wanted Callum. She wanted him inside her, filling her with warmth and pleasure. A soft moan escaped her, and she bit her lower lip to keep more sounds from slipping out. His grin widened, a devilish gleam in his eyes before he moved lower and merely brushed his lips against her clit.

She nearly screamed at the touch, her hips bucking off the wall in response. Cal's hands on her hips kept her steady as he continued his exploration, his mouth working miracles that made her see stars.

"Cal!" She cried out his name, clawing at his shoulders. Her climax was powerful and sudden, washing over her in an overwhelming wave of pleasure. Through it all, he continued his relentless assault on her senses until she was left a trembling mess against the wall.

His lips traveled back up her body, peppering kisses across her stomach and breasts until he finally met her mouth with his. She could taste herself on his lips, and it only served to reignite the spark of her desire.

"Your turn," she murmured against his mouth and trailed her fingers to the fastenings of his trousers. With one swift movement, she pushed them down along with his underwear, and they pooled at his feet.

The feel of him against her, hard and pulsing with need, sent another wave of desire coursing through her. She wrapped a hand around him, and a low groan rumbled from the back of Cal's throat.

"Ellie," he rasped, his voice strained with need.

She liked it when he sounded like that—like he would break apart without her hands and mouth on him.

She wrapped her hands around the thick base of him again and teased her tongue over his tip. His hands fisted in her hair as she sucked him into her mouth. He tasted of salt and masculine heat, a heady mix that made her pulse thrum with a new, heightened sense of hunger. She traced every vein with the tip of her tongue, loving the way he trembled and the increasingly desperate noises coming from him.

"Jesus…" His head fell back against the wall, eyes screwed shut.

The steel in his grip softened as she increased her pace, relinquishing control as he succumbed to the pleasure.

The groans falling from his lips turned into ragged breaths, each one punctuated by her name.

"Ellie… Ellie…" His voice was hoarse, the usually composed attorney being reduced to broken pleas.

She made a tiny, pleased sound against him, a vibration that elicited a choked cry from Cal. His control snapped, and with one final decisive pull, he fell over the edge, his release pulsing against her tongue. She savored the taste of him, pulling back only when she felt his hands gently tugging on her hair.

They stared at each other.

His gaze was hot. Hungry. He was already lengthening and hardening again in her hand. He hadn't had enough yet. Truthfully, neither had she. She was uncomfortably wet between her legs, the hollow place inside her throbbing to be filled.

"Ellie," he breathed again, but it was a different kind of plea. "Are you still on birth control?"

She nodded. He exhaled with relief and lifted her off her feet, their bare skin sliding against each other as he pinned her to the cold wall behind them. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he quickly stepped out of the trousers still gathered at his ankles.

With one hand supporting her back, he used the other to guide himself into her. She gasped as he entered her, stretching and filling the emptiness that had been aching for him. She could barely believe this was happening, that she was here with him again, succumbing to the potent chemistry between them.

But, oh, she'd missed this.

She'd missed him.

Even if she didn't dare admit it out loud.

The feeling of him, the scent of him, the sight of him consumed her. She clung to him as he began to move, ever so slowly at first, his eyes locked with hers, watching every shift of emotion on her face. They'd only been together for a short time, but he'd studied every inch of her body. He knew where to kiss, where to touch. He knew how to drive her wild and how to make her climax so hard she had an out-of-body experience.

His thrusts were measured, bringing her right to the edge of pleasure before he slowed down again. He was torturing her in the best way possible, and all she could do was moan his name. She felt deliriously high, the pleasure building into a tsunami that threatened to sweep her into oblivion. Her nails dug into his shoulders as each thrust pushed her closer and closer to that delicious edge.

"Yes... Cal... yes," she said in a breathless whisper, too overwhelmed to articulate anything more.

A wicked grin played on his lips as he increased the pace, driving into her hard and fast. She threw her head back against the wall, biting her lip to stifle a scream of pleasure.

The terrace echoed with the sound of their bodies slapping together, Ellie's panting breaths, and Cal's low groans. If anyone wandered by, they'd know exactly what was happening in the shadows against the stone wall.

And she didn't care one bit.

Sweat trickled down her back, her body hot and flushed under his touch. The coil of tension inside her tightened further, her climax looming closer with each thrust.

He held her up against the wall with one arm, allowing his other hand the freedom to explore. It dipped between their bodies, and his thumb found her clit, circling it with a precision that sent another wave of pleasure coursing through her.

"Let go, Ellie," he growled against her ear. "Come for me."

That was all it took. With a hoarse scream of his name, she came undone around him, shattering into pieces as the most intense orgasm she'd ever experienced ripped through her.

"Ellie… Oh, fuck, I've missed you." His free hand splayed wide on her lower back to pull her closer to him. "I've missed you so goddamn much. I think about you every night. I dream about this…"

His thrusts became more erratic as he neared his own climax. He held her tighter, his arms like iron bars, and he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

She gasped, tilting her head to give him better access as he nipped at her sensitive skin.

"Cal... I..." It was all she managed before his lips were on hers again, his tongue demanding entrance which she willingly granted. His taste was intoxicating, a potent mix of him and her that sent her senses reeling. His thrusts quickened, the force of them pushing her higher against the wall.

His rhythm faltered, his movements becoming more urgent as he neared the edge. His breaths were hot and ragged against her skin, his body knotted with tension.

"Your turn now to come for me." She caught his lower lip between her teeth and tugged.

It was all he needed.

His grip tightened on her hips, his body stiffening against hers as he let out a guttural groan. She felt him throb inside her as he drove into her one last time. A primal growl escaped him as he came, a sound that sent shivers down her spine and pulsated deep within her. They clung to each other as he emptied himself, his breath ragged against her neck, and she unraveled again in a soft aftershock that left her shaking.

Slowly, he pulled out and gently lowered her onto wobbly legs. Her body hummed with pleasure as he rested his forehead against hers.

"Ellie, I…" He started but seemed at a loss for words.

And reality slammed back.

She'd fucked Callum Holden.

Again.

When the last time, she'd promised herself it wasn't going to keep happening.

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit!

A rush of emotions flooded her body—remorse, ecstasy, and an underlying sense of dread. Had she crossed a line she could never step back over? Her heart squeezed as she disentangled herself from Cal, her eyes darting away from his intense gaze.

"I can't do this again," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the roaring in her ears. "I can't..."

And there was his kicked-puppy expression again—there and gone in a flash. She hated seeing it, hated that she was always the one to put it on his handsome face.

"I understand," he murmured. But his eyes told a different story. His gaze was heavy with unspoken emotions. It was enough to make her question whether she should keep this promise to herself.

What was the worst that could happen if she gave in?

They could fall in love.

Then fall out of love.

And fall into hate.

Then their friends would be put in the awkward position of choosing sides, and she didn't want that, mostly because she wasn't sure they'd choose her. She wasn't charming like Cal, and she wasn't useful to the Rescue like he was.

Yeah, they'd definitely choose him over her if it came down to it. So she couldn't let it come down to it.

She turned away from him and nearly tripped over her dress and discarded shoes. She bent to snatch them up. She felt him watching as she hastily pulled her clothes back on, but she didn't dare look at him.

"Ellie…" His voice was a hoarse plea. It was the same tone with which he had been whispering her name earlier in a haze of pleasure, but now, it sent a pang of regret coursing through her.

"Please, don't." She zipped up her dress as best she could, keeping her back turned to him. She hurried to the stairs that would take her back up to the hotel.

"I love you," he called after her, his voice catching on the words.

The admission was a punch to her gut. She froze with her hand on the banister of the stairs. She didn't dare look back, afraid of what she might see written on his face or, worse, what he might see on hers. Some things were better left unsaid, and some truths were too painful to bear.

"I have to go," she muttered, her throat tight with unshed tears, and all but ran up the stairs, leaving him alone on the terrace.

Ellie didn't usually consider herself a coward, but tonight, walking away without a backward glance was cowardly. She loved him and hated him in equal measures— just as much as she loved and loathed herself for succumbing to him again.

As her feet moved mechanically through the hotel to her room, she thought about the last time they'd been together. A moment of weakness six months ago, when Jaxon Thorne was proven not guilty of all of the crimes he'd been accused of. Cal had gotten him off for everything except the final attack on Alexis, playing a flawless defense in the courtroom, and Ellie's world had shattered. She'd come to hate him for it then, as much as she'd loved him before.

But, even so, he'd offered her comfort that night—the warmth of his arms around her when she was falling apart, and the tenderness in his touch had made her feel cherished when she felt humiliated and exposed. A momentary lapse that saw them intertwined in a flurry of passion and regret.

The thought of their last encounter sent Ellie into a spiraling whirlwind of raw pain, leaving her breathless. She had to remind herself to breathe. And then remind herself again.

Her fingers fumbled with the key card to her hotel room. She pushed it into the slot, missed, and tried again with shaky hands before the door finally clicked open.

She collapsed onto her bed, still dressed. The smell of him on her skin, the taste of him on her lips, the throb between her legs—it was somehow both a comfort and a torment. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back tears as she remembered the way his eyes softened whenever he looked at her, the way he'd whispered "I love you" with such raw sincerity.

She pressed her palms to her eyes.

It wouldn't happen again.

It couldn't.

Because every time she found herself in his arms, she only craved him more.