Chapter 20

The ground was hard beneath Morgan’s knees, but he didn’t even feel the discomfort as he writhed up against Auban, pressing and twisting, desperate for more even as he reveled in what he was getting. He finally lay back, pulling Auban down on top of him, and oh, that was even better. Now there was real pressure, now he could feel the shape of Auban’s cock pressed against his, and it was so fucking good he could hardly stand it.

“Ah … ah!” It hurt to get hard so quickly, but Morgan didn’t care. He wasn’t afraid of pain, wasn’t afraid of anything right now except the prospect of this stopping. He couldn’t stop, didn’t dare. There was something building inside of him, a force that made him want to arch and claw and cry out … and why not? Who would hear him except his mate?

He had never done this so freely before. Jerking off, when sharing a home with Brevaer, was almost impossible. Doing it alone had been all right but a languorous, slow affair, usually in the water, where his other form could writhe and squirm, and he could rub against all the places that were hard to reach as a human. But now he had Auban to writhe against, and his lips tasted like the wind and sand and a hint of blood, so mortal and real and delicious that Morgan just couldn’t hold back.

“Auban!” He thrust up against Auban one more time, his core clenching desperately, and then he came. He couldn’t have stopped himself if he’d wanted to. White light overwhelmed his vision, and pulses of pleasure rolled over his body, one after the other until he could hardly stand it, but he also couldn’t bear to move away.

Auban held him through the wracking shivers of his release, stroking his hair and kissing his face. Once Morgan could breathe without trembling again, he realized something.

“You didn’t come.”

“Not yet,” Auban said, thrusting lightly against Morgan’s hip. “I think I only have it in me to do so once, so I want to make the most of it.”

“Ah.” Of course. He was still recovering from his injuries, he’d been assaulted by Morgan’s brother, he’d undergone almost as much emotional upheaval as Morgan himself … it was a lot. Maybe Morgan was the strange one here, actually. “Then … let’s get camp set up, and we can—”

“Not quite yet,” Auban said, a hungry look on his face. “Can you wait a few moments longer?”

“Wait for what?” His question was answered as Auban slid down his body, settling between his legs with a grin before leaning in and— “Oh!” He was licking him clean, his incredibly hot, wet mouth laving Morgan’s overstimulated cock from the tip to the base, then over his balls for good measure. Morgan stared down at him, sore and aching and loving it and not quite sure how all those emotions were able to coexist in his brain at the same time. “You … ah … Auban …”

“Mmm.”

“You don’t have to…”

Auban pulled off. “I want to,” he said. “I want to know you as well as I possibly can. I want to have you every way imaginable. There’s just …” He stopped, then leaned in and rested his head on Morgan’s thigh. “There’s not enough time.”

Morgan sniffled. “No, there isn’t.”

They held each other for a long moment, then set up the closest thing to a shelter they could put together. The canoe made a decent, if low, bulwark against the wind, and with the sack they’d used to collect everything stretched over the top of it and tied with some spare rope, it was not … anywhere near comfortable in the space beneath it, but at least the wind wasn’t going to rub them raw. Morgan was chilled to the bone by the time they were done, and Auban kept trying to push clothes at him, but Morgan pushed them right back.

“You need those.”

“I’m warm enough,” Auban insisted. “I’m not the one shivering.”

“You ought to be.” It was so strange—Auban was skinny! So skinny! He ought to be colder than he was! Were all humans so resilient in response to low temperatures? They couldn’t be—why would they wear such thick clothing if that were the case? “Save the dried food,” he continued, “I’ll go hunt you something, and we can—”

“Morgan. Come here.”

Morgan shivered but not because he was cold this time. They’d spent almost an hour setting up, and every time he brushed against Auban, he was reminded that his lover was still hard, ready for more. So was Morgan, but he was also afraid.

“It’s all right,” Auban said as he drew Morgan into his arms, nuzzling his mouth against Morgan’s temple. “It’s all right, darling. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to—”

“Be inside of me.”

Auban pulled back to look at him. “Are you sure? That’s not an easy thing.”

“I want it.” Morgan was positive about that much. “Please, there’s oil in your things, I know we’re supposed to save it for cooking, but men use that, don’t they, to help ease the way, and I want you so much I can’t—I don’t want to wait any more.” He couldn’t wait anymore; he might die if they waited anymore.

Auban kissed him again, and the hunger that had banked between them roared back to life like a fire. “Get on your back,” he said hoarsely. Morgan obeyed, and then—

It was so much all at once. Auban was on him again, kissing his cock, licking him there, then going lower and licking him there, and oh, fuck, that felt amazing, and Morgan didn’t care if he looked ridiculous with his knees back against his chest and a fist in his mouth as he tried not to scream himself hoarse; he would take the embarrassment of that any day if it meant Auban never stopped pressing his tongue inside his body. It couldn’t be any better, and then Auban put a finger in, and it could reach a lot farther than his tongue, and that—

Morgan came again, only this time, Auban was there to swallow him down and drink his rain, catching everything in that so-hot mouth and moaning as he pressed a second finger inside of Morgan. It was so good it hurt, oh gods, it hurt, but Morgan loved it. He felt owned, possessed, encompassed by Auban. He wanted him to do it again, harder, more, more, and Auban knew. He knew, and he gave Morgan everything he wanted, never letting his cock go all the way soft. By the time he rolled Morgan onto his side and slotted in behind him, lifting his top leg, Morgan was seeing stars.

“Yes, yes, oh fuck, I love you, I love it, please …” His voice evaporated as Auban’s cock pressed inside his softened hole, still so small by comparison, but he could do this, he could, it would fit … and it did. Aided by the oil and two orgasms, Auban was able to fuck inside of him all the way in two pushes. Morgan lay there, staring out at the darkening sky, and wondered how he had lived without this feeling.

He wondered how he was ever going to survive without it.

“No, stay here with me,” Auban breathed against his ear, pressing kisses to his neck as he began to work his cock in and out of Morgan’s clutching heat. “Stay with me, darling, be with me. I need you right now, I need you so much.”

“I need you too,” Morgan confessed, tears spilling over in his eyes even as he gave in to the pleasure of the moment. What else could he do? This was it, this was their time. “I need you, I need you … please, please, please …”

“I know.” Auban began to go deeper—not faster, but harder, pressing in over and over again, holding Morgan’s hip in place as he made a place for himself inside of Morgan. “I know, oh … you feel so good. You’re so good to me, I can’t—you’re amazing, Morgan, I love you. I love you.”

Every repetition seared the truth deeper onto Morgan’s heart. He wanted to say it back; he knew he ought to, and he felt it so much, but he couldn’t wrap his lips around the words. All he could do right now was hold onto his lover, and his composure, by the barest threads. He closed his eyes and clenched down, and Auban moaned and thrust harder, and when he finally came, Morgan did too, but it felt like …

It felt like a loss. Like an ending.

I shouldn’t have sped it up, I should have slowed down, I should have made it last forever.

“Darling …”

He was crying now, audibly, and wasn’t that just the worst thing he could possibly do when they both ought to be so happy? He was ruining this for Auban, absolutely ruining it.

“Morgan.” Warm lips covered his cheek, his ear, his neck and shoulder once more. “It’s all right. I know. I love you so much, so much. I always will.”

“I can’t bear it,” Morgan gasped, and Auban began to pull out. “No! Don’t leave!”

“All right.” Auban pressed even more tightly against his back, and Morgan sniffled and wrapped Auban’s top arm around his chest. His breathing was ragged, twisted as he tried his best to control it, but there was no fighting the tears. “I’m here,” Auban said, and Morgan tried not to think about how soon that wouldn’t be true.

Soon he would be alone again. Alone …

He thought he might rather die.