Chapter 7

Cindy

Tyler embodies all the forbidden things that I have ever been warned about, particularly on my mother's side. Even at my age, she would have a fit if she knew I was sitting here in the dark with a stranger telling me how beautiful I am.

Of course, I know all about Tyler's reputation, even if I really don't buy into the tabloids whatsoever. Despite how I've been brought up, and the things that have happened to me in the past, I'm still all for giving people the benefit of the doubt.

"You like it?" He tilts his head. He's so damned fine. And the fact he's so big, taking up all the space in the seat next to me, and then some, is divine. I can't help but notice his wide-set shoulders and muscular arms, even through his long-sleeve shirt.

He also smells good. It's sweetly spicy and does things to my insides.

I imagine what it would be to breathe right into his neck, smell his scent, and feel his hot skin under my lips.

"Yeah," I reply, when I feel him looking at me. My eyes glance down to the hard ridge in his throat when I see him swallow and it bobs. "It beats playing guessing games."

He grins. "Do you mind if I shut the car off for a few moments?"

It's kind of sweet he even has to ask. I shake my head. "Not at all. And thanks too, for dropping Susie home."

"It's no problem. I wanted to make sure you both got home safe."

I almost shudder at his words. He has a deep, manly voice. It reverberates through my very core and makes me squeeze my thighs together. I'm shocked at the way my panties are wet just from his voice and his glances.

"That's very sweet," I say. I also love the way he moves his hand to my face, his thumb rubbing over my cheek. Just that small act alone is enough to get me wanting more. I try to control it the best I can.

He drops his hand eventually, and I instantly feel the heat from his touch disappear, though the electricity between us is still palpable.

"Ty," I whisper in the dark. Feeling brave. Maybe it's the glass of wine I had with dinner, but considering I barely drink, it surely can't be that.

"Yeah?"

"I think you're very attractive."

I see the edge of his mouth, and his cheek rise from my words.

"You do?" he murmurs. The sound vibrates through his chest as I reach for a fistful of his shirt. I don't even know what the hell I think I'm doing, but he's pretty quick to lean down and touch his lips to mine. The second our mouths meet, I make a small noise in the back of my throat. His mouth is warm and inviting. His lips are soft and careful as they skate across mine.

"Yeah," I say. I've obviously kissed guys before, but something about the way Tyler does it is different. He's a little wild, and just more manly than any of the other guys I've dated.

My heart beats at a ridiculous pace in my chest, my nipples pebble in my shirt and I want him to touch me more than what I've ever wanted anyone to touch me in my life.

My stomach is bursting with butterflies, wanting him to do whatever he wants with me. And the thought is shocking. I don't know him, but that doesn't stop me from holding onto his shirt and kissing him in the moonlight, with a million fantasies running through my head at once.

The soft sound of our kisses pulls low in my belly, and in other places, too. His scruff isn't unpleasant at all on my skin. I love how it feels bristling against me.

"Ty," I pant as he switches to the other side of my mouth. I love how he's slow and soft with me. He doesn't even use any tongue.

"Yeah?" he mumbles against my lips.

"That feels good."

He grins, not breaking away as I pull my body towards his and he wraps his huge arms around me. My breasts pushing right into his solid chest.

He makes a low noise in his throat, and it's the sexiest, most primal thing I've ever heard. "Feels so good," he mutters, switching sides again, holding my face between his hands. He holds me like I'm the most precious thing in the world and I know that's ridiculous because he doesn't even know me.

Then one hand slides down my face, then as I feel him breathe into my neck. His fingertips graze over my decolletage. His hand skating over my breast. I freeze mid kiss, though I love the sensation, I pull back suddenly from the kiss. And not because I don't want him to touch me, far from it, but a million other thoughts are going through my mind and they overtake the moment.

He pulls back abruptly, removing his hands from me, and sits back in his seat.

"Fuck, Cindy. I'm sorry?—"

I shake my head. "It's okay," I pant. "We both got carried away." The way he says fuck sends a ripple through my body. I don't know why, it never sounds sexy when other guys say it. "Look, I'd better…" I reach for the door handle. I don't want him to think he did anything wrong, or that I'm not into it, but the intensity is too much.

"Don't go," he says, running a hand through his hair.

I turn to look at him. "I'll see you Monday," I breathe.

He watches me carefully and nods. I know he thinks he's done something wrong, but he hasn't. It's just me, this is how I am. Miss Cautious. I've been like this my whole life.

I hesitate for a moment before I get out of the car. "Maybe I could get your number?" I say, before I can even stop myself.

His bottom lip disappears between his teeth for a moment, but he fishes his cell out from the console. He unlocks it, clicks on contacts and passes it to me swiftly so I can type my number in.

I pass it back to him and he immediately starts typing. I hear the buzz of my cell from inside my purse.

"Now you have my number, too," he says darkly, watching me in the moonlight.

My skin is hot and flushed, and I'm so glad he can't see how hot he's gotten me.

But maybe he can? Maybe it's evident on my face.

"Thank you, and for the ride," I murmur.

He smiles, his face soft in the darkness. "Any time."

"Monday," I whisper.

"I'll be there."

* * *

I can hear Henry barking when I get to the door. I quickly let myself inside and reach down to pet him as I close the door. I sink to the ground while I give Henry some love and lean back on the door. I need a few minutes to get my composure back. My panties are soaked and I can taste him on my lips.

That was the hottest, most illicit kiss I've ever had. And he kept his tongue in his mouth. I can only imagine the things he could do with it if he tried.

I wrap my arms around Henry, closing my eyes as I revel in what it felt like to be touched after so damned long. It was magic, but I freaked out.

I hope I didn't scare him off. I was the one pushing my body into his. I couldn't even see in the dark if I was turning him on, but I'm pretty sure his breathing showed he was. I stay where I am in the dark, dropping my purse to the floor as I hear his car take off. Only then do I truly feel his absence. And it shouldn't feel this way, since I don't really know Tyler at all. Only that he's the bad boy defenseman for the Hawks and I'm technically not allowed anywhere near him. Certainly not throwing myself across his console, pushing my hard nipples into his chest while we kiss after knowing each other for five minutes.

I've lost my mind. But it feels so damned good.

"What am I going to do, Henry?" He licks my face as I scruffle his ears how he likes.

One thing I do know is that I need to find some relief after our showdown in the car.

When Henry settles down, I fill up his little biscuit bowl and head off into my room to change, ripping my shirt off over my head on the way. My taunt nipples rubbing on the lace of my bra.

I had a growth spurt after high school as luck would have it, and I'm now a natural C cup. I unhook my bra and let that fall too, staring down at my breasts, aching for them to be touched by Tyler. I wish I hadn't stopped him. I pull them and rub my thumbs over my nipples, imagining it's Tyler rubbing them. It's hard to even fathom what it would be like to have his mouth on them, feeling his wet kisses as he sucks and licks, pushing his hard erection into me.

I was only a few seconds away from mounting him in the car and dry humping him! I'm sure he's more than used to that, with the amount of women he must have had over the years. But fear stopped me. It's been so long since I've slept with a man, by choice, that I don't even know if I'd be any good at it. And it's embarrassing. I really like the guy, and I don't want him to be put off by my lack of experience. And now he probably thinks he's done something wrong with the way I quickly dived out of the car. I'll clear that up over the weekend, if I have the guts to text him.

I keep on pulling, knowing I need friction between my legs.

Now's the time to pull out my trusty bullet. I haven't used it in a while.

I leave my shirt, bra and purse on the floor and flick on the bedroom lamp. While Henry is distracted eating, I make haste to my nightstand, pushing down my jeans as I go. Reaching in, I find the hot pink number and quickly get comfy on the bed between the cushions, spreading my legs wide. One hand tugs at my nipple, while my other hand switches my bullet on and pulls my panties aside to rest it on my sweet spot. I'm so damned sensitive as I rock my hips as soon as it touches me. The bullet buzzing away right where I need it the most. I watch my breasts bounce as I move my hips, thinking about Tyler's deep voice and the way he touched me softly. If his sexy kiss is anything to go by, I'd say he's good at everything else, too.

It doesn't take long for fireworks to go off, because about a minute later I'm coming with a long drawn-out groan. My orgasm spiraling through my body, snaking its way over my exposed flesh. I can feel it from head to toe. The first one is always the most intense, but I don't stop until I wring out another few. One after the other, they come. And I imagine Tyler with his head between my legs, his stubble scratching on the insides of my thighs as he sucks my sweet spot into his mouth.

It's so damned dirty, and not something I've ever experienced. But I want to.

I want to let go, to let this stranger do whatever the hell he wants with me and my body.

It's not the first time I've had this thought tonight when it comes to Tyler. It shocks me, but not enough to want to stop.

When I'm panting and spent, but not truly free of the ache deep within me, I switch off the bullet and lie like a starfish looking up at the ceiling. Just in time to hear Henry racing up the hall to find me.

I don't know what in the hell I'm going to do if I don't do something about this soon.

I mean, how soon is too soon?

The larger part of me says now is as good a time as any. It's not like I haven't felt the urge in the past when I've dated, but it never felt as passionate as this.

It does with Tyler.

It's a whole new level with him, and it scares the shit out of me.

I know I need to be brave and either get to know him and see if he's really into it – or is it just because I'm the coach's daughter and a little off limits? Or should I walk away now before it all gets too much?

* * *

Lunch with my mom and Caitlin is a nice change .

Mom seems in a good mood. She still does a lot for the local church where she now lives in Tacoma and works as a pharmacist at City Chemists.

"You both look well," mom says as we order a cobb salad each for lunch and mineral water.

"You do too, Mom. Are you doing something new with your hair?" Caitlin asks.

Caitlin is pretty much a younger version of me, with the same jet black hair and dark eyes. Just, she's a little taller than me, and slimmer.

"I cut two inches off," Mom says. "And I did that ages ago. Has it been that long since I saw you both?"

"I've been busy." Caitlin shrugs.

"Me too," I confess. "The conference finals are taking up everyone's time at the stadium."

Mom keeps her face stony. She always hated that damned game.

"How's your father?" She asks me.

"He's good, Mom. The same." I shrug.

"Angelique?"

Why does she always ask about her? Angelique is a beautiful brunette lady he met in through one of his coaching sessions in the off season. She's from Georgia originally, and has a ten-year-old son, Max.

They're a good fit and have been married for three years now.

I never thought my dad would get married again, but they got together slowly and it's obvious they love each other. I'm happy for them.

"She's good, Mom."

She humph's quietly. Mom doesn't like the fact Angelique is ten years younger than dad, or the fact she shows cleavage, has high hair or the fact she's a chatty, boisterous little thing.

I ignore any of Mom's grievances, of course. Because Angelique has only been anything but gracious to me and Caitlin.

"I don't know what he sees in her personally," she sighs.

Mom has never had any interest in dating or re-marrying again.

"She's a lovely lady," Caitlin says. "And she loves Dad. Can't you just be happy for them?"

She purses her lips and sips on her water. So much for her seemingly in a better mood.

"How's things been for you, Mom?" I ask, trying to change the subject. "How's work?"

"Busy," mom says indifferently. "You know how it is, plus I've been helping with the local church fundraiser bake sale coming up."

When Mom moved to Tacoma after the divorce, she quickly settled into the community through a new church and a new set of friends.

"That should keep you out of mischief." Caitlin tries to make light of things too.

"Well, I do make the best baked goods this side of North America."

We dig into our cob salads and thankfully Mom's mind is off my dad and Angelique. I still don't understand why she can't be happy for him. I guess she really is still bitter about the divorce and the fact Dad moved on.

"Everyone knows how good it is," I say.

She smiles and we enjoy the rest of lunch. It's during our round of coffees at the end, when Caitlin has just finished her speel on what's happening in the office front at the Seattle Times, managing to dodge too many questions about her and Liam.

The less said about that, to ensure Mom doesn't get on her case, the better. As long as she doesn't believe Caitlin is living in sin, then we might be able to make it to the end of lunch.

"So I was talking to Sheila the other day," Mom says, just when I thought everything was going to be cool. My eyes flick up at her, then avert to Caitlin quickly.

Caitlin gives me that knowing look and sighs.

Here we go.

"Can we have one get together without bringing up Sheila, or anyone to do with my ex," I say, placing my cup back on the saucer and checking my cell for the time.

My eyes bug wide for a second when I see a text from Tyler.

It flashes up on my screen and then the three second screen saver kicks in so I don't get time to read it. Something knots in my stomach. Butterflies from the excitement of our kiss last night instantly emerge. I know I encouraged him, then again, I also stopped him in his tracks before we went too far. There's no way he can be blamed for being too up front. I've never kissed a guy like that who hasn't been my boyfriend.

I hear Mom's sigh now and glance at her. She hates us messing with our cells at the table, so I try to at least be polite through one lunch and not look at it all the time. Though now I'm dying to read the text from Tyler.

"There's no need to be rude," Mom says.

I stare at her agog. "Mom, I'm not being rude! I don't want to hear about any of the Hathaways or anyone from our old church. Why would I after all this time?"

"So you won't be interested to know that Damon and Jessica broke up again."

I feel the heat rise in my body. I thought all of that had left the building a long time ago, but she still knows how to get a rise out of me. Yep, he started dating Jessica after we moved to Seattle, and they've been on and off for years ever since. God knows who else he's screwed in between behind her back. I'm sure if he did it to me, he'd do it to someone else, too.

"Correct," I say, through gritted teeth. "I'm not interested in knowing any of it."

"It's in the past," Caitlin says softly, for my sake. "Can't we leave it at that?"

"I'm just saying I think he still holds his heart in his hands for Cindy. First love never dies."

We both look at her, and her eyes look sad for a moment. I wonder if she's still talking about me and Damon, or her and Dad.

Both things have been over for years, so I don't understand why it's relevant now.

"Mom, don't do this," I say, shaking my head. "The minute Damon decided to screw Jessica in the church utility is the day it dawned on me that he wasn't a good person."

"Cindy, language!" Mom says, quickly glancing around to see if anyone heard me say screw.

"Oh, I could say a lot worse than that," I balk. "Let's face it, I caught him fucking her after all."

Mom's face turns beetroot as she hisses at me to keep my voice down, not that anyone could hear; I'm not shouting across the restaurant. "How dare you, young lady! Is that the kind of language you've picked up from working for that ghastly NHL team?"

Caitlin presses her lips together and takes a momentary deep breath. "Mom, stop."

She glares at Caitlin now.

"Trust me, I've heard more than that in the locker room," I say, feeling like I'm on a roll and can't stop. And I probably should stop. I've never stood up to her like I'm doing now. It's like I'm on the downhill slalom to the pits of hell, taking no one but myself.

"Locker room!" Mom gasps.

Of course I haven't been in the guys' locker room, but she doesn't need to know that. I'm just adding fuel to the fire, for goodness knows what reason.

Caitlin is staring at me with newfound awe. She takes a couple of seconds to catch up and collect herself. "Do you have a thing about Damon and Cindy, Mom?" she sighs. "After what he did all those years back?"

Of course, Caitlin found out the whole debacle when she was old enough, and she was proud of me that I'd kicked his ass to the curb even at the tender age of seventeen.

"He made a mistake, it happens," she huffs, folding her arms across her chest.

I can't help but see red. How is she still going on about this years and years later?

It's not even relevant anymore.

I push out my chair, my eyes brimming with tears, and grab my purse because I've had it up to my eyeballs.

Only my mom has the capacity to do this and make me feel like an idiot, even after all this time. She has no compassion whatsoever, she never has. I thought things could be different, but here she is several years later still pushing Damon at me.

"You know what, Mom? Screw this lunch. I've had enough!"

She stares at me, gob-smacked at my outburst and saying screw again, admittedly, it was a little louder that time. I can't believe I just dropped the F bomb either. I've never done that in my life.

"If you love Damon so much, why don't you go back to Buffalo and marry him!"

I storm off without looking back, knowing that I've just driven an even bigger wedge between us than what was ever there before. But for once in my life, I don't care.