Chapter 24

Cindy

After Tyler leaves, my stomach is in knots. I scoop up Henry and give him a cuddle as he licks my face because he can sense something is wrong. It takes me a while to even come to terms with what Tyler just told me.

His ex is pregnant! The words just don't even make sense in my head.

I feel bad comparing the situation to finding Damon and Jessica together, because it's nothing like that at all. I said those words in anger and I shouldn't have done that.

I just don't know what we're supposed to do. Things aren't simple when I've fallen for Tyler.

I've given my body to him in just about every way possible. And my heart is now on the line because I'm in love with him.

As much as I don't like the fact there's a high chance he's going to be a father to another woman's baby, a big part of me wants to try to navigate this, as weird as it all is. Jealousy surges within me just thinking about him and her, and it's an emotion I've never felt before.

The reality is I don't know if his feelings are going to change about his ex when he sees her. Maybe his old feelings will come flooding back and they'll want to rekindle things?

Where does that leave me?

He said it was well and truly over between them, but that was before he's even looking at the woman. Things could change instantly, especially where his unborn child is concerned.

Unborn child.

The thought it just too unreal for me to even accept right now.

I don't know where it leaves anything.

I just know I love Tyler, and if he still wants to be with me, we're going to have to find a way around this with a new baby in the mix. It's a lot to think about taking on so new in our relationship.

The crazy thing is, when all is said and done, it doesn't change the way I feel about him.

I hate that I kicked him out. But I really needed to process everything.

I'm still upset over the fact he waited to tell me, especially when things got hot and heavy with us over that weekend in Miami when he found out.

Granted, he was processing the information, and he hadn't even seen his ex, but it still hurts.

I know I can't work this all out alone. I need another perspective… And I know just the person to call.

Both Susie and Emmerson roll up to my place an hour later. Maddison is back in Florida with Ashton where he's staying for a while during the off season.

I called Suse on the hop, and she was with Em, so they both came over.

I don't mind Em knowing. I've known her a long time too. They've been nothing but supportive of my relationship with Tyler in these early stages, and they've kept it quiet as well until we have a chance to work things out.

Em is looking fabulous since she got back together with Taylor the night they won the Stanley Cup. Her face is a picture of a thousand words as she gives me a hug and then drops to her knees to give Henry some love, picking him up in her arms and cooing him like a baby. He's a real people kinda guy and has always loved my friends.

"How are you holding up?" Suse asks, when she pulls back from hugging me.

I've been a mess for hours since Tyler left. "Not good," I sigh. I blurted out the main parts to her over the phone because I couldn't keep it in any longer.

"I can't believe it," Em says, as we all walk down the hall into the lounge. She's still carrying Henry.

"I know. It was all going so perfectly. We're supposed to be going to my dad's this weekend to break the news so we can stop sneaking around."

"What does Tyler want to do?" Suse asks, as we all sit down on the sofa.

Em sits on Henry's chaise part, her long legs take up the length of it. Henry jumps up on her lap and makes himself comfortable.

"I think he was pretty shocked himself, still. He made it clear he wants to be in the kid's life, but not get back with her."

"I'm sure it came as a huge shock," Em says. "I mean, they split up months ago, right?"

"Yeah, six months ago or more."

"It's crazy that he's only just finding out about it now." Susie shakes her head sympathetically. "I mean, that's a long time to keep that from him. He must be shocked out of his mind."

"Yeah, he was. When he told me, I compared it to finding Damon and Jessica together all those years ago. I felt so awful the minute the words came out of my mouth. But I was shocked that he knew in Miami and never mentioned anything.

Both of their eyes bug wide.

"We were intimate that weekend," I clarify. "So that makes it all the more weird."

I told Suse when we got back what had happened, but I haven't seen Emmerson since she flew back from Florida last week.

"Oh, wow Cindy, this is huge," Em says. "And Tyler must be going out of his brain. Did you say he's meeting her today?"

"Yeah, as we speak."

"I think he's nuts about you," Suse says. "I don't think you have anything to worry about there. From what you've said, he seems very upfront about that. I don't think he'd get back with his ex because of the baby."

"They were done ages ago," Em adds.

"But he hasn't seen her since then, and even so, how the hell are we going to do this if he means what he says and still wants to be with me?"

"That's a question only you can answer, Cinds. It would be tough, especially because he would see his ex on the regular."

"She was talking about adopting the baby out at one point," I sigh.

They both stare at me wide-eyed. I hadn't gotten around to telling Susie that part over the phone.

"Wow, what?" Em balks.

"She mentioned it to him when they spoke, she may give the baby up. I don't know the details yet or if she wants it, or what he will do otherwise."

"Holy crap." Suse sits back on the sofa. "This is more complicated than I first thought."

"Tell me about it," I sigh. More complicated than any of us thought.

"The question you have to ask is if you can be with him and have a new baby in the picture," Suse adds. "Em's right about that."

"I don't know the answer to that," I admit.

"And that's fine too," Em says. "You might not know yet, and it's okay. But you obviously have deep feelings for him. It's been a long time coming, Cinds."

It has, and they know it the best. They've been around since college, after all.

"It has," I agree. "And he's so wonderful when we're together. He's so alpha and protective. I've fallen for him, so that in itself is a problem."

"Not necessarily," Sue says softly. "All that matters is how you feel about each other. You can work the rest out. Granted, it's not conventional what's happening, but if you love each other, then you'll navigate it somehow."

"It's a lot, though," I whisper. "Like, I don't know what my parents are going to say. I'm still on the outs with my mom. She'll have a field day with this."

"It only matters how you two feel about each other, with or without her judgment," Em says. "You're a good person, Cindy. If your mom can't see that part, and the fact you can choose your own partner and make your own decisions, that's on her. If you love Tyler and want to be with him, despite what's going on with this baby stuff, then that's up to you."

I smile as Henry tramples off Em's lap and pads over to me across the couch.

He knows when I'm not feeling emotionally the best and always tries to comfort me.

I wrap my arms around him as he snuggles into my chest. "I just need some time. I felt bad for Ty. I told him to leave."

"I'm sure he understands," Em says. "It's a pretty big shock to take in."

Suse wraps her arm around me and hugs me to her side. "Just take your time, Cinds. You don't have to rush into anything, see how things go and what Tyler has to say when he meets with her."

"That's a good idea." I nod. I have trepidation about that, but the fears I have there aren't from Tyler primarily. They stem from the betrayal a long time ago, and this is nothing like that. He should have told me, yes. But realistically he had only just found out himself, and from what I can gather, he doesn't know fully yet that he is the father.

I don't feel as though I'm trying to make excuses for him, because there would be no point to that, but I am trying to see things objectively from his side.

I know I need to talk to him as soon as possible. I'm nervous about what he's going to say after meeting his ex.

This is big. So I just hope I'm strong enough to handle the fallout.

* * *

My phone is vibrating and it's late. I went to bed after watching some mindless trashy TV and having some takeout with the girls and a glass of wine.

I got a text from Tyler before I turned in for the night. It was pretty short and to the point.

Tyler

Hi Cind. I'm at my parents. Things went ok, I'll talk to you in the morning if you still want to. I'm stayin in Mercer tonight at my house

Me

I hope everything went ok

I guess I was pretty short and to the point too, and I don't hear anything back from him. I won't know anything until we see each other and he explains what happened and what he intends to do from here.

Does he still want to be with me and get permission from the team to date me?

Are we still meeting my dad and talking to my family about us this weekend?

Is he taking custody of the baby when it's born, and how is he going to do that?

There's so damned much to consider.

But I think about my friends' words as I toss and turn back and forth all night.

Is my love for Tyler enough to see this through?

I think I already know the answer to that. It's just a matter of if I want to be in his life when he will be preoccupied with his ex and the baby.

It's a big deal. The biggest I've ever had to deal with.

By sunrise, my heart is aching and I know I need to see him.

I haven't slept well, but well enough to know I want to jump in the car and drive to his place. I need to know what happened. And maybe I should wait for him to come over or reach out to me, but I can't stand it anymore.

I shoot him a text before I throw some things in my weekender and pack Henry's essentials, along with some dog food for later. Granted, it isn't far to go. I should get across town in no time at all, but I want to be prepared.

Cindy

Ty, I didn't sleep well. I'm heading to you. Hopefully you're still there? Text me your address when you get this

I've no idea where his house is on Mercer, but I guess I'm about to find out.

Maybe I'm an idiot, I don't know. But I feel bad for not hearing him out a little more, despite how confused and upset I felt yesterday.

My love for Tyler is only going to get stronger, not weaker. My feelings for him definitely haven't changed, even with all of this going on.

I make coffee and get ready. Then pile mine and Henry's stuff in the car and start her up. I'll walk Henry in the park on the way and see if he messages back by then. If not, I'll just kill some time. It's still only early, and I'd be surprised if Ty is even awake.

My phone pings back a bit later, just after I've pulled over to walk Henry in the park. I have my raincoat on as it's been sprinkling on and off. Henry has his little raincoat on, too.

I stop by a nearby park bench on the way back to the car to read the message.

Tyler

Morning Cind, I crashed last night I was so exhausted. It's been raining out so the roads will be slippery. I'll come to you

I quickly type back.

Cindy

I already set off

Tyler

Where are you?

Cindy

In the park not far from my house. I can be in Mercer in about 15 minutes

Tyler

Are you okay?

Cindy

I didn't sleep much

Tyler

Me either. There's things to say babe, a lot of things

My stomach doubles over at that idea. I mean, would he still be calling me babe if he'd changed his mind about things? I hate that I'm feeling this insecure, and I want to ask him right now, but I know we need to talk in person.

Cindy

Text me your address and I'll be on the way

Tyler

Ok. See you soon

We get back in the car and I type the address into my GPS and we set off again.

The day is kind of dull and it rains on and off across town, but it's not sheeting rain so I'm glad about the fact I can still see where I'm going.

I'm nervous about seeing him and surprised at my own actions at driving to Mercer Island so early in the morning. This is unlike any situation I've ever been in before.

I've fallen fast for him and jumped in with both feet. Sleeping with him after only a few dates isn't a normal thing for me. I think the larger part of him understands what a big thing that was. I wanted to tell him about the near-mugging in college right before all this happened.

I'm almost at his place when my cell rings. This time it's Caitlin.

"Hey," I say, answering as cheerfully as I can muster. Cait has no idea what's going on as I haven't had a chance to even speak to her about any of it.

"Cindy, where are you?"

"I'm driving across town to see Tyler. Why?"

"I need to talk to you." She sounds panic stricken. My heart immediately races.

Oh God, has something happened to Liam? To Mom or Dad?

"Cait, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, it's Tyler…"

"What? He just texted me." Why would she be calling to tell me something is wrong with Tyler? "Cait!"

"I don't know if you know, but he was with his ex yesterday," she sighs.

"Yes, I know that. But how do you know?"

I have a sinking feeling in my gut that she's about to tell me something really bad. I wish she would just spit it out.

"Liam gave me the heads up…"

"Liam? …What…?" My mind races ahead to try to make sense of it. "Did he see them?"

"No, babe. But someone from the Times did. They snapped a photo of her and Tyler at a cafe uptown yesterday… I don't know if you know this, but she's heavily pregnant."

I let out a sigh of my own. It comes out louder than I intended it to. Henry lifts his head to look up at me from the passenger seat.

"I know," I say. "He told me yesterday he was going to see her. She phoned him after six months apart to tell him."

"Well, I hate to say it, but it's going to be all over the news today… oh, and there's something else."

"What?"

"Yeah. The photo is going to be splashed everywhere. Nothing is sacred anymore, unfortunately." Working for the Seattle Times, she's definitely seen it all, and I'm grateful beyond belief, despite my shock, she's called me first.

"I can't believe this." I gulp. Like anything could be worse than what she's saying. "What was the something else?"

Dread creeps over me as I know she has privy knowledge of what's about to be printed.

"There's a photo of you and Tyler kissing. I think it was when you were in Miami outside the hotel. There's also another one taken just a few days ago when you were both in the park with Henry."

Heat rises up my neck and I feel my pulse quicken alarmingly.

"Photos of us?" I gasp. "He's not Tom Cruise for goodness sake. I thought the whole paparazzi thing was for Hollywood actors."

"Hardly matters in the sports world if he's Tom Cruise or not. He's hot property. Any NHL star is that causes a stir and goes against the grain. Now they have a photo of you two together, and a photo of him and his ex-girlfriend pregnant."

I let out a string of profanities I never thought I'd hear myself saying.

"We were going to see Dad on the weekend to let him know," I murmur, my voice not even sounding like my own.

"Well, I'd do it pretty quickly, Cindy. I can't exactly stop them from publishing the story. But you need to come clean before everyone is talking about it and making up their own take on it."

I feel queasy. My head is instantly spinning. The press has photos of me and Tyler together? But we were so damned careful. I can't even believe it.

"I'm heading to Ty's now. I'll call Dad asap."

"I would if I were you."

"Thanks for the heads up, sis."

"That's okay. But I am worried about you, Cind. How well do you know this guy? And what the fuck is going on with him and his ex?"

"It's too long a story," I tell her. "But I'll call you later to explain what I know. He only just found out about the baby because she kept it from him all this time. They broke up over six months ago and he went to see her yesterday."

"That's gotta suck for him."

"It's not exactly the greatest situation to be in."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet. I haven't talked to Ty since I made him leave yesterday. He was meeting with her to work things out for when the baby is born. I've no idea what that arrangement is yet."

"Let me know what's going on as soon as you know," she whispers, like someone is going to hear her. Shit, maybe she's at work already and it's going down as we speak. I don't even ask because I don't want to know the answer. I have enough to deal with at the moment without processing anything else too closely.

"I will. Talk soon," I say nervously.

"Love you, sis."

"Love you, too."

I hang up with a shaky hand. Great. So to top things off on the shit storm that's already going down between me and Tyler, and Tyler and his ex, we now have the Seattle Times and their exposing photos to deal with in a few hours.

This isn't going to be pretty whichever way you look at it. And I know my dad is going to be disappointed we didn't talk to him sooner.

I feel that tug of dread again in the pit of my stomach. I'm fighting back tears as I pull up at Ty's ‘weekender', which looks nothing short of a mansion. At least my GPS didn't get me lost.

Not realizing it's a gated lot until now, I drive through open gates and park in front of the three-car garage. I gape up at his house, which is more like an estate, as I shut the engine off and Henry sits up to see why we've stopped. It's a two-story craftsman style, covered with dark gray wood siding and a gray shingled roof with a white trim around. Trees surround the property and has a mountain view right behind. From what I can gather, it also backs onto Lake Washington.

I grab Henry and carry him up to the front door, sheltering from the drizzle under the large porch entryway and knock on the door.

It opens a few moments later and Tyler stands before me; barefoot, in gray sweats, unshaven and looking like he had about as much sleep as I did.

He barely gets a hello out of his mouth before I step into his arms and the tears start rolling. I'm still holding onto Henry.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He wraps his arms around me and Henry.

I mutter into his shoulder, not caring at this point if it is a touch over the top.

But it's a lot to deal with at once, and I need to get it out. "Everything's a mess," I sniff.

"Come inside, we'll talk."

He pulls back a little and we step inside out of the rain. I feel a little foolish, wiping my tears, but there's really no holding back now. He needs to know what's going down.

Closing the door, he turns to me and puts his hand on my cheek, giving Henry a scruffle at the same time. Henry laps it up like he has no cares in the world.

If only my life was that easy right now, or Ty's, for that matter.

I see a reflection of warmth and love in his eyes and from the way he smiles, even though he looks tired. I know by the way he's looking at me with such intensity that nothing has changed, and he still wants to be with me. A little bit of hope blooms fresh in my chest, and gives me the oomph I need to get through what I'm about to tell him about the newspaper.

Reaching up on my toes, I kiss him, not caring that we need to talk first and figure all this shit out. I just need Tyler. I need his kiss and his warmth.

I need all of him.